|confusion|

my lips were still pulsing as he left and the following next day.

i called him but he never answered.

but he knows i wouldn't give up.

so i kept calling until the phone did answer.

and as i was nearly about to say hello,
i hear a girl's laugh that sounded similar to mine before he left, before I became dead.

"hello?" i say, my voice shaking and breaking.

"who is this?" the girl asks.
my throat tightens.

"who is this? hello?" she asks once more.

"let me see, baby." i hear his voice get closer.

"hello? i know this is you." he says, and this makes me shiver.

"maybe you should just hang up, honey." the girl says.

i close my eyes. i tried to speak, but i couldn't. he was happy with the her. i didn't need to mess anything up. but what did that kiss mean?

"yeah, you're right." i hear and then the phone turns off.

i let out a sob and fall to the floor.

all that I could think was how stupid I was being.

why did i call?

why did i love him?

Why? Why? Why?

i finally fall asleep and the girl's laugh echoes in my mind over and over.

she was the girl i used to be.

except the difference between her and me is that you need her, and not me.