• April 25, 2017 •

[ Jason <•> Timothy ]

J: it's all your fucking fault.

T: ...

T: good morning to you too, Jason-PissedOff-Todd.

J: I have zero time for your bullshit.

T: explains why you chose to text me first.

J: ...

T: find a better comeback to that, I dare you.

J: ...

J: fuck off.

T: ha, loser. (This message has been deleted).

J: ...

J: what did you just say?

T: nothing whatsoever.

***

T: tho I'm just curious...

T: what did I do this time?

J: you seriously have no idea what I am talking about?

T: I fuck up on a regular basis and I tend to get everyone annoyed by merely existing. You need to be more specific than just telling me I'm the one at fault. Of course I know that and I believe you but what exactly did I do?

J: ...

T: what is all my fucking fault now?

J: where the fuck did you put my cigarettes?

T: ...

T: what cigarettes?

J: don't you dare play dumb with me.

T: ...

T: I literally have no idea what you're talking about.

T: why would I know anything about your cigarettes?

J: Timothy, I fucking swear I will kill you if you don't give me an honest reply.

T: ...

T: you'll kill me?

T: fr?

J: DID I STUTTER?

T: ...

T: oh okay, I just thought to be sure.

T: if I ever feel suicidal again, I'll come straight to you and tell you where your cigarettes are.

J: wait what?

T: oh shit, did I not delete that?

J: ...

J: you better start praying to be dead before I get my hands on you or else even the devil himself won't be able to save you from me.

T: ...

***

T: can we not cut a deal?

J: YOU WANT A FUCKING DEAL EVEN AFTER ALL YOU'VE DONE?

J: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH WORTH OF CIGARETTES HAVE YOU STOLEN FROM ME?

J: YOU INSUFFERABLE PIECE OF SMOKE SHIT!

T: first of all, wth kind of an insult is that?

T: smoke shit?

J: that summarizes you in two words.

T: ...

T: secondly, I haven't wasted any of your cigarettes.

T: a pack, maybe, but not the entire stock.

J: hand it over then.

J: right now.

T: ...

J: or I'll tell Alfred and both of us will punish you for being a habitual smoker even though you're so young.

T: I don't know if that's you actually caring for my health or...

T: it probably is the second option.

J: it's me preparing to yeet you off planet earth if you don't return my cigarettes to me.

T: okay okay fine.

T: but I need something in return.

J: ...

T: as payment, y'know, for taking all this trouble and high risk of safekeeping your stuff and making sure neither Bruce nor Alfred found out.

J: is sparing your life not enough payment for you?

T: well, about that...

T: I don't think so.

J: oh fuck, I forgot you're suicidal...

T: exactly. So you'll be doing me a favor if you yeet me off.

J: shut up.

***

T: forget the payment.

T: I'm n a good mood today so I'll let you off for free.

J: those were my cigarettes in the first place, you thief!

T: ...

T: yeah whatever, finders keepers.

J: ...

T: before you totally explode, I'll tell you that the entire stock is in my bathroom and I'll return it to you like I promised.

T: but as I'm too lazy to take them all out again, you'll have to come to my room and I'll tell you where they are. Fish 'em out yourself if you want 'em.

J: ...

J: you sure have the nerve to say something like that to me and still expect to live afterwards.

T: you're my elder brother, Jay, why would you kill me?

***

J: I am never coming to the Manor again.

T: oh come on.

T: I'm sure the surprise was worth it.

J: and if you ever dare to arrange such unnecessary and unexpected family reunions in the future, I will deal with you much worse.

T: I'll keep that in mind.

***

T: everyone says it's nice to have you back tho.

J: everyone who?

T: Alfred, Dickie, Barb, even Bruce.

J: ...

T: aw come on, were you not expecting him to say that?

T: we're family, Jay, of course we are always going to be glad to have you around.

J: try stealing my cigarettes next time and I'll make sure your opinion would differ drastically.

T: 😅

***

• April 26, 2017 •

[ The Young Misfits ]

Artemis: any idea why Nightwing is so happy today?

Miss Martian: nope.

Kid Flash: he is not the saddest person either but rn he seems extra cheerful.

Red Robin: wanna know why?

Supergirl: did you finally promise not to irritate him anymore?

Red Robin: ...

Superboy: 🤣🤣🤣

Red Robin: nope, even better.

Red Robin: take a guess.

Artemis: you and Damian resolved your differences and became friends?

Superboy: ...

Kid Flash: ...

Miss Martian: ...

Supergirl: ...

Nightwing: I wish that could have happened too.

Red Robin: shut up and stop pressurizing me.

Red Robin: The only agreement Damian and I can ever come to is that of being sworn enemies. And be grateful that hasn't happened yet or else the Manor would have long been destructed.

Nightwing: ...

Kid Flash: really beats me what else happened?

Red Robin: it's not that difficult.

Red Robin: why don't you guess, Connie?

Superboy: hmmm

Superboy: you quit smoking?

Red Robin: ...

Nightwing: WHO TF QUIT WHAT?

Red Robin: ...

Red Robin: Connor, I asked you to guess what could have made Dick happy but now you've done the extreme opposite!

Nightwing: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING, TIMOTHY?

Miss Martian: I'm making popcorn, you guys want some?

Supergirl: 🙋‍♀️

Artemis: me too.

Kid Flash: save some for me as well.

Nightwing: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW BAD IT IS FOR YOUR FCKING LUNGS!!!

Artemis: uh oh, Dick's swearing. You're in deep deep trouble, Tim.

Red Robin: AND WHO'S FUCKING FAULT IS THAT!??!

Superboy: shit, I'm so sorry, Tim!

Red Robin: all I did was bring Jay and the family back together but you've ruined it by putting a massive black hole between me and Dickie.

Red Robin: oh shit, he's so mad that he'll do something I'll regret forever.

Red Robin: I had barely escaped Jay's wrath and now you've set this ultimate tornado of doom upon me, Connor!

Superboy: I had no idea...

Red Robin: asking you to guess was the biggest mistake of my life, second only to opening eyes in this world...

Nightwing: TIM, YOU CAN'T HIDE FOREVER! I'M TELLING ALFRED!

Red Robin: hasta la vista, traitors, see y'all in hell.

Red Robin has left the chat.

***