• December 26, 2016 •

[ Aviana <•> Connor ]

A: I fucking hate your friend, Connor.

C: which one?

C: Tim?

A: of course I'm talking about bloody fucking Tim!

C: ...

A: I hate him so so much that it's a wonder he's still alive.

C: where's Tim?

A: out of my house for good.

C: oh thank you, now he'll finally see sense and come over to my place.

A: you wish.

***

C: wait...

C: he's alive right?

A: did you forget to read?

C: oh.

C: yeah.

A: what?

C: thanks for not killing him.

A: but I swear if I get to see him again, I'll kill him once and for all.

***

C: no no no no

C: don't do that.

A: why?

C: because it will get you imprisoned.

A: who said I'm going to get caught?

A: do not underestimate the real life version of Wednesday Addams.

C: ...

A: at least that's what Zach believes and I'm not going to contradict him just this once.

***

C: but seriously Ava, do not kill him.

A: you know that warning me not to do something is a clear motivation to go do it?

C: no please...

A: ...

C: besides if you killed him, it will make you his favorite person and I kinda have the feeling you wouldn't like that.

A: why would he consider his murderer as his favorite person?

C: because he has admitted multiple times that death is his one true love (second to coffee only) and that he can do anything to reconcile with it.

A: ...

A: fucking hell, he's crazy!

C: um yeah, a little.

***

C: though may I ask, what happened that you loathe Tim so much now? Just a few days ago, you had no problem with him staying at your place.

A: because a few days ago he hadn't had the audacity of dying my room pink.

A: HOT PINK...

C: ...

C: and why did he do that?

A: don't pretend as if you weren't there at the Christmas dinner.

A: snappy little bitch was furious I drugged him to sleep!

***

C: though knowing Tim, he's let you off real easy by just dyeing your room pink.

C: he can be thrice meaner than that.

A: I don't know about him but I sure will show him who he's messed with.

C: oh come on...

A: and don't you dare try to persuade me against it, Connor.

A: you hear me?

C: ...

***

C: this is going to be one hell of a nightmare, I believe.

A: nightmare is an understatement.

C: why can't my two favorite people in the world get along nicely? Now you're both at each other's throats and I don't want to lose either of you. (This message has been deleted).

***

A: what was that you just deleted?

C: nothing.

A: Connor, don't lie to me.

C: nothing whatsoever. Believe me, it was nothing.

A: ...

***

[ Tim <•> Richard ]

R: are you coming back anytime soon?

T: ...

T: do you want me to?

R: tbh no.

***

T: wth Dickiebird?

T: you don't want me to come back?

R: stay at Metropolis as long as you like. And don't come back without informing me like a couple days beforehand.

T: why?

R: ...

T: FOR WHAT REASON?

T: after all I've done for you guys in these insufferable hell of five years...

R: Tim, listen to me.

T: INSUFFERABLE!

T: hell and back, buddy, I went to HELl and BACK for you people!

T: frankly speaking, I'm more pissed about the fact that I came back from hell and am stuck again with you guys...

R: ...

T: but that's not just the only thing I've done for you all!

T: I tolerate Damian every fucking day because of you people...

T: and now you don't want me to be a part of the family anymore?

T: PREPOSTEROUS!!!

R: it's not like that...

R: would you just shut up and listen to me first?

T: NO!

R: ...

***

T: fine, I give up.

T: I've calmed down, thought this through and reached the conclusion that you aren't kicking me out of the family just because sometimes I can be a real pain to endure.

R: ...

T: there's got to be someone blackmailing you to do it or maybe you just predicted a storm coming and want me to stay out of it.

R: ...

T: which would have been real sweet had it been true...

T: [unfortunately I know your weather prediction is so shit that even though we live in Gotham and it rains all the fucking time, still whenever you predict it will rain, the exact opposite happens].

T: or maybe there's some other reason altogether that you want me to stay away from Gotham for some more time, which I'm honestly not complaining about.

T: who wants to live in that hellhole anyway?

T: oh fuck, I do.

R: ...

T: because it's easier to die in there. So many possibilities at every little step...

T: I could fall down a hole or get taken hostage or get blown up or get shot or get thrown like a Frisbee through glass windows...

T: so many possibilities tbh.

T: ...

T: ...

T: ...

T: anyway what happened?

R: fucking finally! (This message has been deleted).

T: wait what?

R: you remember I told you me and B had a situation to deal with these days? The one involving the drug dealers.

T: yeah some Hoodie guy who tried to hijack the city's drug market...

T: what was his name again though?

R: Red Hood.

T: yeah so, what happened to him? Did you guys catch him?

R: no.

T: don't tell me you want me to catch him for you. Because in that case, I'm not jumping in on a case at the last minute for free.

R: Tim, would you just shut up and fricking listen to me?

T: extra coffee from Gilmore's Cafe for the next month and maybe I'll consider.

T: two months and it's a deal. Hoodie guy is yours within the next 24 hours.

R: ...

T: wait...

T: I didn't let you finish as usual and you probably meant something else...

R: of course, now shut up and don't say anything until I tell you to.

T: ...

T: my bad, go on.

R: we found out who the Red Hood is and before you distract me again, I'll tell you. He's Jason.

T: now look here, I'm in no mood for a godawful laugh so...

T: ...

T: Jason?

T: our Jason?

R: I'm not joking, he is Jason. Jason Peter Todd, our Robin.

T: ...

***

R: Timmy, you there?

T: sorry had to rewire myself because for a second my processor stopped working when you said Jason.

R: it is Jason though, I'm not pulling your leg.

T: but it can't be!

T: you're pulling my leg and you can't convince me otherwise.

R: come see for yourself if you don't believe me.

R: on second thoughts, don't.

***

T: but he died...

T: no one comes back after they die.

T: no one deserves that torture...

T: until or unless...

R: he was resurrected.

T: ...

T: normally I hate the Al Ghuls but right now I'm not so sure how to feel about them.

R: ...

T: oh I see, I still hate them.

T: but I'm assuming the Lazarus Pit proved upto its expectations? There have been rumors it can grant life after death so that's the only thing I'm going to deem possible to Jason's resurrection.

R: so you have everything worked out even now?

T: this is what happened?

R: yup.

T: they don't call me genius for no reason, Dickiebird.

***

T: but one thing which I haven't yet worked out is that if Jason is back, isn't that a good thing?

T: why do you want me to stay away from Gotham?

R: can't believe you're missing on such a huge point here.

T: ...

***

T: ah so what if he's a crime lord?

T: he's still Jason, isn't he?

R: well...

T: and we'll welcome him with open arms just like the family that we all are.

R: about that...

T: ...

R: I don't think it's going to be possible.

T: wait why?

R: he hates all of us.

R: he has declared war and there's no way we can welcome him back into the family with the way he's openly going against everything B taught us.

T: ...

T: such as?

R: he's no longer Robin.

R: nor a crime fighting vigilante.

T: then...

T: what is he?

R: a criminal.

***

T: but he's OUR Jason!

R: ...

T: what can he have done that bad that you're straight up referring to him as a criminal?

R: by the way you're so passionately taking his side, I almost thought you knew him and were close to him before he died.

T: ...

R: which is technically impossible since you joined us a year after Jay was gone.

T: that's not the point.

T: you're telling me exactly what he did or I'm coming to Gotham right now!

***

R: he's no longer following the no killing rule.

R: we know of seventy five kills he's clearly responsible for.

R: twenty more that are doubtful.

R: altogether ninety and by the way he's going, it would take only a day more for him to reach his century.

T: ...

T: no way...

R: and the reason I'm warning you not to come here is because more or less, you're going to be on his hit list too.

T: oh...

R: and if you dare make any suicidal remark on this or dare to even think of coming back for the next two weeks, I swear you'll have to face my wrath.

T: Dickiebird???

R: I SWEAR, TIMMY!

T: ...

T: God, fine!

T: not coming back. Happy now?

R: thank you, one less calamity to deal with.

T: though I really want to help you guys out.

R: Tim, I said NO!

T: ...

T: alright alright, I get it. Calm down...

T: I'm not coming back until you tell me it's safe.

R: good.

R: stay true to your word now.

T: sure will.

***

T: though nowhere did you mention I can't stay in Metropolis and help so... (This message has been deleted).

R: what did you just say?

T: nothing.

T: nothing whatsoever.

***