• December 12, 2016 •

[ Tim <•> Connor ]

C: I can't believe you were in Metropolis but did not tell me.

T: well because I had other priorities.

C: so Zachary is a priority now?

T: not meaning to hurt your feelings but yes.

C: ...

C: I have never felt more betrayed my entire life.

T: deal with it.

***

C: how come you meet Zach for just a couple hours and decide he's better than I who has been your friend for over a decade now!

T: ten years is a hell of a long time, buddy.

T: I wouldn't be alive in the next ten years, guaranteed.

C: ...

T: and I would say I have known you for almost half of that.

T: key word being almost.

C: liar!

T: in my defense, for the first many months after our epic encounter, you were entirely dysfunctional and hell bent on killing us so I can't count that era in our friendship tenure.

***

C: but did you die, bitch?

T: unfortunately, no.

C: ...

T: that's one of the reasons I have still not fully forgiven you.

C: ...

T: like you had such a perfect opportunity to kill me, you're a Kryptonian for goodness sake!

T: ...

C: ...

T: I meant, Kryptonian clone *

C: shut up!

***

T: but yeah I was saying...

T: you could have just smacked me in the head with those fists of steel and it would have been a win win either way.

C: I have no idea whether you are high or concussed even now.

T: do NOT interrupt, let me imagine the whole scenario of what would have happened if you had smacked me in the head instead.

C: you're incorrigible... 

T: cause - permanent head injury

T: preferable result - death

C: so now you're going to bold and italicize it? That's how desperate you are to die?

T: or in other case - memory loss

T: either way I would have been free of this hellhole!

T: and as an answer to your previous question, death is my one true love...

C: I doubt that.

T: ...

T: after coffee, that is.

T: coffee is my one true love, death comes second.

***

C: oh and I did try to smack you in the head with these fists of steel, as you so eloquently stated.

T: ...

T: did you?

T: really?

C: yeah and do you not recall what you did after that?

T: ...

T: noooooo

C: twisted my arm so painfully that for a second it felt it was human flesh and could get ruptured.

T: ...

C: I've still no idea how you did that.

T: I recall no such thing.

T: the gods condemn you for lying, Kon-El!

C: what gods?

T: any you prefer or none if you don't, I'm very open minded. 

C: open minded and also openly suicidal.

***

T: before you make another remark of Timmy save your suicidal shit, let me tell you that I ran away from the Manor because the gremlin is inflicting rabies on everyone.

C: ...

C: wait, what?

T: in other words, Damian would have easily fulfilled my long held wish of dying but before that could happen, Dick kicked me out.

C: and I am assuming he did that to protect you.

T: ikr, the ungrateful huge acrobatic show off...

C: ...

***

C: how has Zach not asked you about your sanity level yet?

T: he deals with you on a daily basis, I would say he's accustomed to insanity already.

C: I don't know if that was a compliment or an insult.

T: that, my dear friend, was a jab at your self esteem.

C: excuse me, what?

T: and now you're confused.

T: mission accomplished.

***

C: honestly, what are you even doing in Metropolis?

T: watching you get jealous of Zach and trust me it's a hilarious sight.

T: better than any K-drama you could put on and watch.

T: in fact, way better than the Wayne drama broadcasted 24/7 in front of me. And trust me this right here is a huge compliment since nothing can exceed the drama we cook up on a daily basis.

***

C: wait, are you taking pleasure in annoying me?

T: oh wow, the clone knows now.

T: Mission Abort.

C: what the hell is wrong with you...?

T: everything and nothing.

T: on second thoughts...

T: EVERYTHING!

***

T: hey Connie...

T: Con Con

T: Kon-El?

T: Connorado????

T: Drama Clone!

T: you know I can see you online, right?

T: Connnnnnoooooooorrrrrrrrr!!!!!!

T: ...

T: wait till I get my hands on you.

T: CONNOR!

***

T: do you seriously think that if you ignored my texts, I would give up?

T: ...

T: ...

T: ...

T: DO YOU???

T: ...

T: ...

T: ...

***

T: for the love of Zod, Connor, I demand you to respond to me or you will be responsible for the consequences!

C: wtf, no one loves Zod.

T: ha, got you.

T: knew you would reply to that.

T: ...

T: Connor?

T: damn it!

***

T: fine, don't listen then. I was going to tell you I am here till Christmas but no worries...

T: now I will gladly stay over at the Smiths' place for Christmas even.

T: keep missing me.

C: I was not missing you.

***

C: but till Christmas? Are you sure you won't get kicked out?

T: of course not, I'm an adorable little cinnamon roll, why would anyone kick me out?

C: you're forgetting that Ava lives in that house too.

T: so what?

C: and even if you might be an adorable little cinnamon roll to all of them, you won't be able to fool her.

T: wanna bet?

C: sure.

C: she'll kick you out within a week.

T: she will not.

C: less than a week.

T: I doubt that.

T: oh wait, Aunt Morena has made my favorite dinner today, see ya later.

C: what?

C: now she's Aunt Morena to you?

T: she said Mrs Smith sounded formal so...

T: I suggested it would be better to call her Aunt Morena instead.

T: plus she's very sweet and motherly, I like that a lot.

***

C: Timmy at times it is unbelievable how awful of a suck up you are to everyone.

T: everyone is a rather broad way of putting it up.

T: that behavior of mine is not referred to as suck up either, plus it is reserved for my special people list that clearly doesn't contain you.

T: so byyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

C: I seriously pity your phone.

T: and I seriously pity my own existence.

***