"'How does it feel, Izzy? That enormous hole inside you, slowly consuming every inch of you until there's nothing left?'" "'Killer. Murderer. You call yourself a princess, but deep down, you know who you truly are. A killer. Just like Tiger Shark. Just like Nerissa.'"

The words were like poison, slowly creeping through my mind like an approaching and receding tide. Every inhale let the words in; exhaling shoved them out. At least the thoughts disappeared after a while. The feelings were permanent, dragging me deeper and deeper into depression until I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Those thoughts and feelings were also what kept me awake most nights, unable to quiet the voices long enough to doze off. I hadn't had a good night's sleep in months. The sound of my husband's gentle breathing calmed my racing heart on nights where sleep was impossible.

Insomnia was slowly taking its toll. I was sluggish and fatigued almost every day now, to the point where I had to focus intensely just to do my daily tasks. On the outside, I was smiling and happy. The key word in that sentence was outside. Inside was a different story.

My body was sore all the time now, making it difficult to get out of bed. Even if I hadn't done anything strenuous the day before, every bone still ached, every muscle throbbed like I'd swum nonstop for a week. I winced as I looked at myself in the mirror, my pallor impossible to ignore.

A ghost stared back at me, the complete opposite of the glowing princess that had been there just weeks before. My eyes were swollen and red-rimmed, the spark gone from my expression. My black curly hair was frizzy and unruly, but I just wrestled it into a bun most days, not having the energy to deal with it.

I took care of myself, but only the bare minimum. Pampering had been pushed to the side long ago, and I had no intention of starting again. The closest I'd let myself come was a few dots of waterproof concealer, which was a must.

I repeated my mantra in my head, over and over, hoping that someday I would start to believe it: You are not your past mistakes. All that matters is your future and the choices you make.

With my cloak pulled tightly around me like a shield, I swam out of our suite and down to the dining room. Bursts of conversation reached my ears as I swam inside. Like always, Mom's face appeared in my mind. Though it wasn't the happy, smiling mermaid she was now. No, this version of Mom was unconscious in a hospital bed, surrounded by doctors.

It felt wrong to be continuing on with our daily lives when Mom was fresh off the heels of a coma. When I looked at her, or she met my gaze, I had to steady my pounding heart, remind myself that she was awake.

When the hand slipped into mine, I barely even flinched. My entire body relaxed as I looked into my husband's eyes, the anxiety that was slowly creeping up on me vanishing. "Good morning," Kai said, leaning in to kiss me on the cheek.

I smiled at him, dispelling the negative thoughts before they formed. "Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

He nodded. "You?" His gaze softened as looked at me.

I nodded, but we both knew it was a lie. I never slept well anymore. If I slept at all, it was normally punctured by nightmares that would leave me sweaty and gasping for water as I awoke. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Ronan's face when I'd faced off with him in the hospital. The sly smile when he spoke about his sister, pain flashing across his features as I swung at him with my daggers.

Even though two years had passed, his words still floated through my head, taunting me day and night. "'I wanted your family to feel the same grief and pain I had. The helpless feeling when you realize there's nothing you can do.'"

I kissed both Mom and Dad on the cheek before swimming to my seat. Despite having been in a coma for six months, the former looked just as beautiful and regal as ever. Of course, there were some lingering side effects that she had to deal with. Even as I thought it, my eyes traveled to her left shoulder, hidden by the folds of her dress.

If you didn't know what to look for, or just didn't pay close attention, you probably wouldn't even notice it. Her arm was hugged close to her body, tucked in tight to avoid anyone accidentally bumping into it. I could tell by the way she occasionally winced that her shoulder was bothering her today.

Anger flowed through me like a river, coursing through my body until I was almost consumed by it. I knew that when she removed her dress, a large scar would stare back at her, along with the deformity it had already achieved. It used to be perfectly straight, but now the bones jutted out slightly at the back.

The doctors had said that they could try to perform surgery to repair it, but that it wouldn't be a permanent solution. Mom had refused, saying she'd rather deal with the pain than have to go through surgery. I knew the real reason, though. She wanted it as a physical reminder that she had overcome, and survived, Ronan's torture.

"How has Drew's cometball team been doing, Izzy?" Dad's voice drew me back to the present. "I know you said they made it to the finals."

I blinked, taking a deep breath. My mind had wandered, again. Honestly, it was a miracle I could manage to start up and keep a conversation these days. "Great. I spoke to Aunt Bella last night and she said Drew's so excited about the game. It's all he's talked about for weeks."

Mom smiled at my words. I can't wait to see them play. It's been a long time since we've done something fun. While her hands were steady, her words carried weight, as they often did.

I smiled, glancing out the window to the open water. The sun sparkled on the surface of the water, sending light down to the sea floor. Before I turned back to my family, I snuck a peek at the sun's position above the water. Barely mid morning. Even if I stayed and chatted, that left me with plenty of time to get to my sign language class.

After breakfast, I took my time swimming to the school. Pride flowed through me as I recalled the gift that Aunt Bella had given me just weeks ago. Up until now, I'd just been volunteering at her sign language class, which she taught at the school. But after seeing how far I'd come and how well the students responded to me, she had assigned me to the role of teacher.

Besides, she and Uncle David had their hands full with running Pelathas. Recently, they'd had an influx of Nepptheas' citizens that had come seeking refuge. After Aunt Naia had been found guilty, most of the citizens had fled, wanting a fresh start. The gates of Pelathas were always open, so they were happy to welcome anyone seeking shelter.

The familiar building with the large banner soon filled my vision. I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face as I read the words. Free sign language classes offered from 12:00 to 3:00 Isadora Singh, teacher

As I swam inside, I could hear the chatter of little mermaids and merboys, even in the hallway. Dozens of eyes met me as I entered the classroom. "Good morning, everyone. I hope everyone had a great weekend and is ready to get started." My voice was strong and clear as I spoke.

The class flew by, as it often did when we had a lot to get done. At the end of class, I paused before letting them go. "Before we go, I have an idea I want to share with you. As many of you know, my mother is still recovering from a coma." Several little faces darkened, and I almost wanted to take back my words.

"I was thinking, maybe we could do something special for her, let her know that we're thinking about her and we hope she gets well soon." From the nods that spread around the room, I could tell I had everyone's attention. "What about each of you giving her a homemade get-well card? She'll love that."

As soon as the words left my mouth, excited chatter erupted. Warm dark green eyes met mine, lit up with excitement. I grinned at the young merman, my own eyes sparkling. I'd known that Drew and Faye especially would love this assignment. In fact, it wasn't really an assignment for them. They loved Mom and were just as concerned about her as I was.

It wasn't until I'd dismissed the students and was leaving the building that I felt the familiar darkness creeping up on me, sending my mood plummeting. A heartbeat later, the voices returned, loud and relentless. "'You pretend to be a kind, generous princess, but deep down, you know that's just a facade.'" "'You can't run from your past mistakes. They're just as much a part of you as your present.'"

My hands curled into fists at my sides. Thankful no one was around, I squeezed my eyes shut, concentrating on my breathing. I repeated the motions for several seconds, hoping that it would be enough to dispel the ghosts. When that didn't work, I conjured a mental image of Mom inside my mind. Holding onto it with everything I had, I used what little energy I had left to force the ghosts out.

My eyes flew open, a pained gasp escaping me. I felt weak and shaky, like I'd just swum a great distance without stopping. The attacks had never been that bad—or intense—before. Normally, all it took was a few minutes of breathing to force them out. Straightening up from where I'd been leaning against the building, I adjusted my bag on my shoulder before starting the swim home.

All the while, I kept one eye on my surroundings, terrified someone would be lying in wait for me. Subconsciously, I felt myself reach for my dagger hidden in my bag. At the very last minute, I froze, mentally chastising myself. Aunt Naia had been banished. Uncle Brandon hadn't been seen or heard from in months. There was no reason to assume the latter would be dumb enough to plan a surprise attack.

When the familiar colors of the palace finally came into view, I almost collapsed in relief. I knew the moment I saw Kai, I would feel better. I managed to swim through the palace and up to our suite before my facade crumbled. The negative thoughts and feelings returned with a vengeance, smothering me until I couldn't breathe.

I felt him lift my limp body off the ground, gathering me in his arms. The choked gasps eventually gave way to wrenching sobs. I wanted to tell him about the anxiety attack, but I couldn't make words come. I could barely summon the energy to lift my head.

"Do you need anything?" He asked softly from where we lay in bed, my head on his chest.

The silence with which I answered told him enough. I stared up at the ceiling as the hours ticked by, concentrating on the sound of his deep and even breathing.

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