They take a break for lunch, though no one feels like eating. The rule of no talking is naturally followed, because everyone is too shocked by what these children have told them so far, and instinctively, they know things are going to get worse.

When the dishes are put outside for collection and everyone is feeling sufficiently hydrated, they settle down again to resume the children's recollections.

"I can't believe what you went through," Cangse Sanren says, finally breaking her rare silence. "It was so brave of Wen Qing and Wen Ning to do what they did. Every time I think about it, my heart breaks for them and for you. Both of you," she adds, looking at Lan Zhan. "It's so fucked up. Looking at it from the outside, it seems so clear cut, but the Cultivation world of that timeline built their thrones on a bed of swords, thinking they would escape being stabbed by their own weapons. How naive!"

"I do not know what you're going to tell us now," Wei Changze says, holding his arms open for his son, and smiling sadly when Wei Ying throws himself into them, burying his face under his father's chin, "but I wish to tell you that I'm proud of you. Those circumstances would have made anyone give up, just stop trying to make a difference. But you didn't. You stood up for what was right, and who knows? Maybe that's why the Universe decided to give us all another chance? No one deserves to suffer like that, and I am truly sorry that we could not save you from what happened to you. But the sacrifices you made should be recognised, and as such, I am bowing to both of you. It is not out of simple gratitude alone, but because of the extent of your suffering."

Wei Changze squeezes Wei Ying tightly before planting him in front of both himself and his wife, and they bend to show their respect. Immediately, Wei Ying cries out in alarm and lifts them up out of it, hugging them fiercely.

"This is just as bad," he says vehemently, making them laugh through their tears.

"It is a testament to good principles and being brought up well by his parents that Wei Ying is such an upstanding person," Lan Zhan says, smiling smugly when Wei Ying wails that he's not allowed to gang up on him with them.

"You're supposed to be on my side," he shouts at Lan Zhan, who hugs him in return.

"I am, and always will be. If Wei Ying allows it." Lan Zhan promises.

He bends so that their foreheads join, his headband making an imprint on Wei Ying's smooth, soft skin. Lan Zhan kisses him there, ignoring the cooing noises Cangse Sanren is making behind them.

"Always." Wei Ying whispers, blushing hard and fully aware of his parents behind them.

"Is it possible that an Acting Sect Leader could go into seclusion?" Lan Qiren murmurs, earning a gasp from Lan Huan, who immediately climbs into his lap as if to keep him here.

"Then who will do your job, Qiren?" Cangse Sanren says cheerfully, smiling at him. He's clearly in shock and going through the trauma induced by the kids. She understands, but she's not letting him off lightly.

"I don't understand how you can joke about it. About what they went through." His voice is thick, heavy with his emotions.

"I have to joke about it," she says, suddenly serious, her eyes damp, "because you don't want to see how I'll cope with it, otherwise."

They share a moment, and somehow reach an understanding.

"A-Huan, don't worry. He won't abandon you, too." She tells XiChen firmly, as though she can decide for Lan Qiren.

"Of course not. Their father-" Lan Qiren catches himself quickly before a criticism of his beloved older brother slips out from his lips.

"I thought so." Cangse Sanren continues, quietly. "People cope with trauma in all sorts of ways, and who are we to decide for them which way is best? So let's brace ourselves, and get ready to listen. But I think you might want to declare another day of rest tomorrow, just in case." She winks at him.

Then she turns to Wei Ying, who is holding Lan Zhan's hand tightly, lost in thought. "YingYing, remember, after this, you won't have to remember anything you don't want to. It's like pulling out an arrow - you know it's going to hurt, but it'll get better after that. Speak freely and don't hold back."

"Okay, Mama." Wei Ying nods slowly.

"You, too, A-Zhan. Just tell us what happened."

"Mn."

Wei Ying takes a deep breath to prepare himself. "There were dreams," he recalls. "Wen Qing's needles were precise in paralysing me, but only physically. My mind was trapped in a continuous rotation, and the voices! I could hear so many of them, but one stood out, torturously familiar. Jiang YanLi...

"I didn't know if she was really there, or whether it was my mind making things up. And then it was Wen Qing's voice, saying over and over again, sorry and thank you. I woke up and forced myself to move. Everything was so painful, but I managed to locate the needle and I pulled it out.

"I had trouble moving my legs, and coordination was terrible, but I found my way out of the cave. The lack of sound was jarring, and I could see the ghosts of the people I knew as if they were really there. Uncle Four shouting something to someone, making jokes as he tilled the hard ground, Wen Popo calling for A-Yuan, and Wen Qing quietly ordering people what to do. Their absence was louder than their presence had been. I knew from the deserted sheds and patches of crops around me that the entire remaining people, the last of the Wens, had likely followed Wen Qing and Wen Ning to Jinlintai. United until the end.

"Every step of the way, my heart was breaking. Trying to reform and shattering again and again in my chest, and the pain was unbearable. I cannot tell you how it felt, like I would never be whole again." Wei Ying keeps his eyes down, unwilling to look at anyone lest his resolve to explain what happened to him crumbles into dust. "I didn't know where to go, what to do. All I could think of was my sister, how she must be feeling. How such a happy occasion turned into such a tragedy. How she must be blaming me for all that had happened, for taking away her husband and the father of her child.

"I went to Jinlintai. I crept in through the shadows and the darkness, hoping to catch a glimpse of my sister. I wanted to apologise, to tell her how sorry I was, and that I had never meant for things to go so far. I hoped she would give me a chance to explain, to tell her that it wasn't Wen Ning's fault at all; I was the one playing the dizi, stirring up his emotions. If she wanted to blame someone, then let it be me.

"In the heavy darkness, the lights shone everywhere, the place as quiet as a funeral. Hardly anyone was around, so I aimed for their ancestral hall, hoping. Always hoping to catch a break. The night was quiet, with only the sounds of the bells hanging on their banners tinkling on the wind to keep me company. Then I heard voices. "I never expected the rest of the Wen Sect to come with those two Wen siblings," the disciples said, on their patrol past my hiding place. "No way would Jin-Zhongzhu go easy on them. After all, it was his one and only heir who was killed. If it had been me, I too, would have killed them outright." "It really is a tragedy," the other one replied. "With young master Jin, only one month old."

"I peeked into the ancestral hall once they'd left, numb with grief. So it was true, then. All of the people I'd tried so hard to save were dead now. Everything we had gone through was for nothing. People I considered part of my family reduced to ash and bone, just because of a single moment in time.

"I saw people keeping vigil through the night, burning paper money. I saw the senior Jin-Furen sitting next to my sister, both of them silently weeping. And I saw the casket, as grand as only the Jins could do. The older lady was urging my sister to go and rest, and I saw ShiJie shake her head. She wanted to accompany him a little while longer. If I thought I suffered from unbearable pain before, it was nothing compared to the consequences of my actions.

"My vision wasn't completely restored yet, or else something kept my feet rooted to the ground when I should have moved away, but I stayed. I stayed where I was, and the senior Jin-Furen saw me. She was weeping, and who could blame her?

"She called out, and my sister came running, recognising me immediately. She called out to me, and there was a moment when we didn't speak. The words...they dug into my throat and refused to leave my mouth, each one a barb that pierced my skin deeply. I could only stare back at my sister, whose sorrows were born from my actions alone. I was responsible for everything she was going through. Her white robes, devoid of any adornments, her pale face, her paler lips, and her red-rimmed eyes, all because of me. And in spite of all of that, she didn't look as if she blamed me. She looked...she looked as if she missed me.

"But by then, senior Jin-Furen had raised the alarm. She already hated my guts because of her sworn-sister, Madam Yu, who had no doubt been open regarding how she felt about me, but I remember her trying to tell my sister to stay away from me, that I wasn't really her brother. ShiJie set her straight before, but now, after this, would she even want to?

"I ran. I couldn't face her after all. I ran, hearing her sobbing after me. I ended up in the forests nearby, and the voices came back. I heard my sister calling my name, even as I wept. I could feel myself losing control, the voices promising me they would help. And no matter how loud I shouted at them to leave me alone, they were louder.

"I don't know how but I found myself at the doors of Nightless City, the gates open and a crowd of disciples discussing the deaths of the Wens. When I looked up, I saw Uncle Four, Wen Popo and the others, all of them hanging by their necks, dead.

"My family. As their bodies swung from side to side, I felt my grief burning away like paper to a flame, my anger consuming me. What was the need to kill these innocent people? They had nothing to do with the war of Wen Ruohan's making, they were nowhere near Qiongqi way, they had absolutely nothing to do with Jin ZiXuan's death, and yet they had paid the ultimate price.

"Having too much money and power corrupted people into thinking they were untouchable, but my fury at what they had done, said otherwise. I heard the guards discussing how glad they were that Wen Qing and the Ghost General were burnt to ashes, since the Ghost General had put up one last fight, how they hoped Wei WuXian would stay holed up in the Burial Mounds out of fear, because tonight, the four major clans were meeting to discuss how to get rid of him for good. One of them said, if he comes out, well then, but I stopped him. I asked them, loud enough for all thirty to hear me. "What then?"

"They recognised Chenqing of all things," Wei Ying laughs darkly, without humour. "They surrounded me with their swords drawn, half of them running away to notify their leaders. I began to play, and within seconds, my ghost army subdued them.

"Why did you stop talking about how to deal with me? I asked them. One of them challenged me by saying that if I was truly capable, I should join the mobilisation in Nightless City and fight all of them, not these low-level cultivators who, by their own admission, were no match for me. I grabbed his throat, still half out of my mind, and asked him, "Low rank cultivators? Why should I tolerate you just because of your low rank?"

Cangse Sanren let out a whoop of hysterical joy.

"Oh, Gods! I wish I had been there!"

"Xingan..."

"Sorry..." she mumbles, leaning back against her husband. "Carry on."

"I asked him what kind of hatred he had for me, always pushing me, poking at me. Him along with all the Jins. I told him he was right about one thing; every injustice has its perpetrator. I shouldn't waste my time on him."

"Fucking Hell-Yeah!" She whoops again, with a fist in the air this time. Then, blushing because everyone is looking at her, she settles back quietly again, motioning at her son to continue.

"I passed through the gates into Nightless City. They had lit torches all around the grand courtyard, reminiscent of Wen Ruohan's heyday, and all the cultivators from the four major clans were gathered, ready for whatever the Jins had planned. It was clear from the get-go that they were the ones in charge of this stupid charade.

"Jin GuangShan, all dressed in white and playing the part of a mourning father, stood at their helm, looking down on eager eyes, ready to stir up a righteous mob. He had SnakeDimples pour wine into cups for everyone, up at the front for the leaders of the Lan Sect, the Nie Sect, and the Jiang Sect. The second last cup, he saved for his shitty father. Then he went and stood by Lan XiChen and raised his own cup with everyone else.

"Jin GuangShan called out a toast for all those who had fallen in battle, regardless of Sect and name, this was to pay his respects to their sacrifice. "Your spirits are everlasting and may you rest in peace," he said, and everyone repeated his words. Then the cups were tilted to spill the wine in front of each cultivator. The cups were then smashed onto the ground.

"Then Jin GuangShan climbed up a few steps so that he could address everyone, along with SnakeDimples, just a few feet away. "Wen Qing and Wen Ning, the last remaining Wen heirs, these are their ashes," he said, taking the box that his newest heir handed him. "I'll scatter these ashes into the air. There were cheers from the lesser disciples standing behind the Sect Leaders.

"Tonight, it was the Wen children. Tomorrow night, it will be the rest of the Wen Remnants, and Wei WuXian, the Yiling Laozu." He said it like he meant it, and it made me laugh. Out loud. I had arrived there to watch the show, and the best place was of course, from a high vantage point. What better than the roof of Wen Ruohan's palace?

"All the cultivators drew their swords as soon as they saw me. The archers notched their arrows ready to shoot me. Jin GuangShan turned around and said how dare I turn up there? So of course, I had to ask him: why couldn't I be there? I reminded him that back in the days of the Sunshot Campaign, I had fought over five thousand men by myself, not to mention another three thousand, later. Besides, wasn't my appearance something they all wanted?

"I'm just saving you the time to go to my den and find me. I came here so it would be easier for you to burn me tomorrow." Nie MingJue yelled at me, calling me an arrogant lout. And that too, it made me laugh. "I've always been an arrogant person," I told him, meaning that he didn't really know me. But I finally had Jin GuangShan there, and I wanted to ask him a question. I asked him, who said that if Wen Qing and Wen Ning went to Jinlintai, and asked for punishment, that would be the end of it? And who just now said that he was going to burn the rest of the Wen Remnants and myself tomorrow, so our ashes could be thrown into the winds? Aren't you contradicting yourself?

"He told me those were two very different things. He said that in the first conflict in Qiongqi way, I slaughtered over one hundred Jin Sect disciples. That's one thing. Me letting Wen Ning commit many murders, that was another. I replied that in the second assault in Qiongqi way, who was the target? Whose death was wanted? Who fell into that ambush? Ultimately, who was the one who provoked me? And please tell me, how can I control Wen Ning to commit murders at Jinlintai when I was miles away at the time? And passed out due to Wen Qing's needles, but I hadn't wanted to tell them something so personal.

"Sect Leader Yao opened his mouth, and said even if Jin ZiXun had attacked me in the first place, I shouldn't have been so brutal to have killed so many people there. Well, that was clearly a ridiculous thing to say, right? I told him, so it's alright if you want to kill me, you can do whatever you want, but if I want to protect myself, I must be careful, not hurting this one and that one. If I die, that must be because of my own bad luck, right? You can ambush me, but I can't fight back. Have I said it wrong?

"Sect Leader Yao carried on. Fight back, he asked. Those thirty people who died in Qiongqi way were innocent. Why did you kill them while fighting back? That made me so angry. I shouted back at him, the dozens of Wen Remnants at the Burial Mounds were innocent too! Why did you involve them?

"They had no answer. But another nobody, an archer this time, he asked what the Wens had ever done for me. Why was I protecting those fiends so hard? Then Jin GuangShan accused me of wanting to be a hero with a martyr complex by standing up to the Cultivation world. He asked me if I thought that by doing something forbidden, I was going to become someone great? Then another lackey accused me of cursing Jin ZiXun with the hundred holes curse. Then I had to speak up. I asked them, what evidence did they have to accuse me of such a thing? The stupid archer asked if I had any evidence to prove that I hadn't done that.

"I confess, that made me laugh. I asked him, based on that theory, tell me why it's not you. You too, do not have the evidence to prove it wasn't you, right?

"But he turned around to say he wasn't like me, that he didn't confound right and wrong, that he didn't try to make people believe something other than the truth. He said he knew what a person like me was capable of, and that I had a grudge against Jin ZiXun from a year back.

"I told him he was the one talking nonsense now. Yes, it was true I had known Jin ZiXun a year back. But if I wanted to kill him, I could've done it a year ago. Why would I keep him alive until now? People like him, they were totally forgettable. Then they resorted to name-calling. It became ridiculous, with nobodies telling me that they once admired me, and now we were irreconcilable. I didn't even know who that was. I said it like it was, where were all these people when it came to admiring me? And why was it when everyone was having a go at me, all of those people were coming out of the woodwork now? How cheap was their admiration that they could cast it aside so fast? And then suddenly, the archer let his arrow fly.

"It hit me here," Wei Ying rubs at the spot on his chest, dead centre in the middle. "Nice shot," Sect Leader Yao called out. But I pulled that arrow out and flung it back, killing him. They had the gall to call me vicious for that. Mama, couldn't they see how unfair it all was?" Wei Ying doesn't wait for her to say anything, the heel of his hand constantly moving at that place on his chest. "I told them that since the archer had shot me first, he must have been aware of the consequences, he should have known what would happen if he missed. You're already saying I use wicked tricks, so I don't think any of you are counting on my mercy."

A sound escapes from Cangse Sanren's mouth, and she bites her lip not to show her elation at that. Wei Changze suppresses a smile and reaches across to take her hand, a silent approval for maintaining control over herself.

"Jin GuangShan rallied the troops and yelled that they couldn't let me leave there alive. He led the battle cry and made his disciples charge into the fight while he ran away. So I began to play Chenqing. Nightless City was full of the dead, and they wanted vengeance.

"That courtyard became a battleground, with my ghost army attacking them without mercy. It really was chaos. But I stopped caring. These were the people who had killed my family, and I wasn't going to hold back. But I made sure the ghosts left the Jiang Sect alone. The more cultivators died, the more were added to my army, and I rejoiced as each warrior fell.

"But then, Lan Zhan came there." Wei Ying looks at him to continue now.

"I saw the guards on the ground outside Nightless City and I asked them where Wei Ying was. They told me he must have reached Nightless City now, where all the clans were meeting to discuss what to do about him. I flew as fast as I could to intercept him, but I was too late. The fighting had begun.

"Wei Ying was beautiful, standing on the roof of the palace, commanding his ghost army to lead the battle. His red ribbon flying in the wind, and such a look of determination on his face, even as his eyes closed in concentration. He sensed my presence immediately, when he heard the notes I was playing on WangJi.

"His voice wasn't afraid, not like I was for him, and he was almost welcoming. "You are here, Lan Zhan," he said, looking back at me. "You must have known that I'm immune to cleansing music." At the time, no one knew about his golden core, well, the ones who did other than himself were dead. I let WangJi disappear so we could talk.

"But then he said he knew one day we were going to have a real fight. And then he started to play. That music was driving his ghost army wild. I tried to penetrate his shield of Resentment energy, and try to get through to him."

"With Bichen." Wei Ying adds dryly, snickering.

"I didn't know any better, and I was desperate. I called out to Wei Ying to make him stop, but he thwarted my attacks repeatedly, repelling me backwards effortlessly. Then he stopped playing and asked me if I thought he had another choice. That's when I told him the situation had changed. I told him that he had to trust me. I don't blame Wei Ying for being wary of me, but I was serious. And then we both heard his sister, shouting out on the battlefield below us. I've never seen Wei Ying look like that before.

"He hadn't been afraid before, but his sister was not a proper cultivator. I knew he was terrified that something would happen to her." Lan Zhan squeezes their hands together.

"I couldn't believe it," Wei Ying tells them. "I immediately left my place on the roof and landed in the courtyard."

"Your ShiJie was an idiot." Cangse Sanren replies. "She couldn't fight, and I bet she'd never been on a battlefield before...just what the hell had she been thinking by putting herself at risk? And where was her kid? What was so bloody important that she left her son and went there?" She turns to Lan Qiren impatiently. "Got any snacks?" and she makes those grabby hands at him.

Lan Qiren tosses a few parcels of nuts and roasted lotus seeds her way and he gets a double thumbs up in return.

"Lan Zhan followed me down there, saving me from people who wanted to cut me down now that I was among them at last. He reminded me that I could use my dizi, and I started playing Chenqing, but it was crazy. I could hear both of them, Jiang Cheng and ShiJie, calling out, but it was too dangerous to stop playing. I had to rely on Lan Zhan's prowess to protect me. And then, I heard another flute.

"This time, it wasn't me. I wasn't controlling anyone, and the Ghost army became wild, a frenzy of puppets that killed indiscriminately. Everyone thought it was me, but my path was different. These were live people suddenly losing their cognitive senses and attacking everyone. Then I saw my sister. She looked straight at me, and I could see behind her, a puppet coming to attack her. There were too many people in between her and myself, and at that moment, I prayed I would not be too late. But even as I rushed towards her, the puppet got there first. His sword hit her back, slashing it. She was injured and on the ground, and then Jiang Cheng got there before I did. Lan Zhan got to me and told me to stop my army, and I didn't understand why he still thought it was me. I pushed him away and fell, crawling towards my sister, and Jiang Cheng shoved me away, his face full of anger.

"He yelled at me, didn't I say I had it under control? I told him it wasn't me, that I didn't know what was happening. I really didn't. I thought I was losing my mind. But ShiJie, she still wanted to tell me something. She bent forward, "XianXian," she said, holding my face. "XianXian, you ran away so fast," she was smiling, "that I didn't get a chance to look at you, and talk with you. I wanted to tell you," she was saying, and then she suddenly pushed me out of the way. A soldier thrust his sword aiming for me, but because she did that, she got the full force of his attack straight into her heart. She died on the spot."

"Well, can't say I didn't see that coming," Cangse Sanren says, tossing a peanut into her mouth.

"Mama!"

"A-Ying!" She copies his tone. "She's alive in this lifetime right now, plus I'm not attached to her the way you are. I don't know her from the next kid, and I have to say, I'm surprised she lasted that long, judging from her decision-making skills. But carry on," she adds, waving a hand at him.

Wei Ying doesn't want to admit it, but his mother's blasé attitude is making him feel better. It's true, he tells himself. Jiang YanLi is alive in this timeline. And because they've gotten rid of the many bad guys, the instigators of the battle at Nightless City, the chances of her dying on that battlefield are slim.

"Well, after that, I pretty much lost it. I throttled the guy who had inadvertently killed her, but the voices in my head were getting louder. I couldn't separate the ones in my head, and the ones of the people out to get me. It felt like they were voicing my every doubt, my every fear and blowing it up to throw it back at me. I was hardly aware of what I was doing, the pain in my head making me want to scream. All of their criticism, all of their words were killing me on the inside. I didn't care about anyone any longer.

"These people had taken away my reasons for living, not only Qing-Jie and Wen Ning, but now my ShiJie. They were going to die. So I played. I played so hard it took a toll on my own health. I spat out the bad blood, but my enemies saw it as the weakness it was and they shouted among themselves that they could take my Yin Hufu now.

"The Yin Hufu, I realised, was the cause of my misery. And as long as it was in the picture, those people would never, ever leave me alone. In that moment of clarity, I realised that it had never been about bringing me to justice. It had never been about the Wens, and making them suffer. All of this had been a ploy with one singular objective: to get the Yin Hufu away from me.

"So I climbed as high as I could and I summoned my weapon. It was greedily sucking up the resentment energy, having found a feast of it that day. And then I stared out across the carnage below my vantage point and I yelled out, "Isn't this what you want? The Yin Hufu is right here. If you have the ability, then come and take it!" All of them tried, killing and maiming each other in the process.

"First I laughed, and then I cried. How could something material be more important than the innocent lives that had been sacrificed for it? I couldn't believe them! It was as if everything I'd built my world upon was crumbling before my eyes. I was losing my mind.

"And I knew, I didn't want to live anymore. I flew up to the precipice, standing on the edge. I closed my eyes, and I let go." Wei Ying covers his face with his hands, unwilling to see the disappointment on their faces.

*************

A/N

Dear Beautiful Readers,

I must confess, writing this and putting myself in these scenarios has kind of messed with my headspace recently. We're over the worst of it now, so hopefully we're back with the happy times ASAP.

But I just want to apologise if I'd said anything weird to any of you, especially if it didn't seem normal for me.

This is why I don't write stuff like this normally, I'm always deeply affected by angst and I try to stay away from heavy topics. But I'm clawing my way out of the hole, so to speak.

Sincerely,

Charlie

🫕🫕🫕🫕🫕🍪🍪🍪🍪🍫🍫🍫🍫