Cloud Recesses is in an uproar!

Lan Qiren begins pacing at the beginning of his lesson, glancing towards the door and hoping that his two prized students arrive soon.

He had left WangJi meditating, while Wei Ying slept on, and having sent over their breakfast, with a heating talisman, he thought nothing more about it. This morning should have been like all the others since the Wei family came to live here...

And yet, today is not the same.

It would be disrespectful to ditch the class and go to look for them, Lan Qiren thinks, but the choice is tempting. Could they have gone to meet with Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze? Why are they late?

He has to force himself to pay attention to the little ones in this class, and the minutes drag on until he can tear himself away. No cause for alarm, he tells himself, leaving as soon as his last student exits the classroom.

The Jingshi appears normal...until he steps inside. The boys are not here, and a quick look at the breakfast tray gives him hope because they have eaten - no matter where they are, they won't be hungry for a while. But where have they gone?

He goes next door, knocking hastily after almost forgetting to.

"Welcome, Qiren!" Wei Changze bows and hurriedly, Lan Qiren does the same.

"What's wrong?" Cangse Sanren is attempting to get out of bed, and Lan Qiren stops her with a glare.

"No matter what it is, we can deal with it. Have you seen either WangJi or A-Ying this morning? And please be serious, for once." He directs that last part towards the notorious prankster.

Both of them are shaking their heads.

"Ah, well, I'm sure we'll find them," Lan Qiren turns to leave.

"Wait, I'll come with you. A-Ren, please stay where you are." Wei Changze bends to plant a kiss on her forehead. "If there's two of us looking for them, we'll find them faster."

Lan Qiren waits, looking away while they exchange a long, silent look full of promises.

"Let's go." Wei Changze walks out with him. "Where do they usually go?" He asks when they reach outside.

"It is time for classes, so they would usually be in the Orchid Room now." Lan Qiren bites his lip, hoping to keep it together. "Honestly, though? They could be anywhere."

"It will be fine," Wei Changze says bravely, patting his shoulder. "Let's not panic right now. We can split up and cover more ground, maybe enlist some help," he says, nodding towards Lan Huan and his friends coming towards them.

In the end, it is easy to organise search parties, after everyone they've talked to says they have not seen the boys. It's past lunchtime now, and Lan Qiren hopes they are alright...but where could they be?

**************

Earlier, that same day...

A noise from the bed stirs Lan Zhan from his meditation, and his eyes open. Wei Ying is tossing and turning, agitated in sleep. But this time, when Lan Zhan goes closer, he's shocked to see tears pouring from his eyes, small animalistic noises that sound like he's suffering through whatever his mind is showing him.

Lan Zhan wastes no time, climbing into the bed and holding him tight. Usually, this helps but not today.

Today, Wei Ying wakes up, his silver eyes rimmed in red from hot tears still falling.

"Lan Zhan...I have to ask you something," he says immediately upon seeing him.

"Mn. Anything."

"Did you really draw that array? The time travelling one?"

*************

Lan Zhan is understandably shocked. He refuses to answer any questions until they've eaten, and Wei Ying is so eager and stressed about what he will learn, that his breakfast is more inhaled than chewed.

Lan Zhan eats quickly too, mentally calculating the time. Lessons begin in about half an hour, and if they're still here, they'll get into trouble for not attending, but then the last thing he wants to do is go and sit in a stuffy classroom learning things he already knows, when he could be finding out about how much Wei Ying has remembered of the past.

As long as this thing remains unresolved between them, he doesn't think he will be able to concentrate on anything else yet.

He stacks the dishes in a neat pile with Wei Ying vibrating out of his skin next to him.

"If we stay here, we will not have enough time to talk," he says urgently, taking both of Wei Ying's hands in his. If he had any doubts at all about Wei Ying's mental state, they are gone by just looking into his wonderful silver eyes, sparkling with worry and the tons of questions he must have. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes!" Wei Ying bobs his head as well, trying to use up the extra energy he's filled with.

"Then let's go. I know somewhere we can talk without anyone overhearing us. We can't let anyone know." He spends a second too long staring into the glittering mercurial orbs to get his point across. "But I promise you, Wei Ying, I will tell you everything I know."

"Mn," the younger one says with an iron will of determination. "Me, too."

*************

They take one of the secret paths that leads into the back hills of the Cloud Recesses, a place that hardly anyone goes.

A long time ago, in another lifetime, Lan Zhan had brought two beautiful presents here, to hide away and look after so they could thrive under a careful eye and if nobody knew about them, then that was just a plus point. Those bunnies had attracted more, most of them fluffy and white and ever so cute, and Lan Zhan finds himself wistfully hoping that that dreamy reality of their past lives comes true once more.

Without the bunnies here, the grasses are dry but high enough to hide their small bodies. Lan Zhan is glad he had the forethought of bringing a blanket for them to sit upon, since the frosty season has gone but the ground is still hard and cold.

As soon as they sit down and make themselves comfortable, Wei Ying grabs both of Lan Zhan's hands.

"I can't wait any longer! Tell me, Lan Zhan, did my ShiJie really die? Did Wen Ning really and truly kill the Peacock?" His eyes shimmer with unshed tears.

Lan Zhan pulls out the two pieces of parchment he has been hoarding like a dragon with its treasure, and hands the list of events over, first. He doesn't even know why he's feeling so nervous, but there's a jittery static feeling in his chest that is making him twitchy. He tries to calm himself by watching Wei Ying, who still remains as breathtakingly beautiful as always, if troubled by what he's reading.

It takes Wei Ying a good twenty minutes to read the page, going over it twice more, just to be sure.

He looks up eventually, tucking the parchment under his knee so it doesn't blow away.

"Fuck."

Out of all the possible things he could have said, Lan Zhan did not expect that.

Never has one word managed to encompass the truth so well before, not counting his standard reply to most things.

A laugh chokes him, bubbling up out of his mouth, despite his hardest attempts to rein it in, and then suddenly, they're both gasping and laughing their heads off at the absurdity of this bizarre situation. New tears fall from their eyes like fresh dewdrops in the spring, and it's as cathartic as it is healing for both.

Lan Zhan pulls out his trusty white handkerchief with the little bunnies embroidered on the corners, and cleans Wei Ying's face, and then he's surprised when Wei Ying takes it from him to do the same for him.

"So...all of my dreams...they really happened, back then?" Wei Ying murmurs somberly.

"In another lifetime, our shared past, yes. Do you remember it all?" Lan Zhan asks him carefully.

It is a mind-boggling amount of information, and requires a fortitude of mind strength to cope, because lesser cultivators would have gone mad by now.

"Yes? Mostly everything," Wei Ying confirms. "I have some questions, though."

"To be expected. Please ask them, and I will do my best to answer them." Lan Zhan reaches over and squeezes his hand.

Wei Ying flips his palm around and holds on tightly, clasping their hands together as if he means to never let go.

"Well, I guess the obvious one is, what are we going to do?" His brows furrowed as he thought hard. "I have to ask you, what was going through your mind when you drew that array? And how the fuck did you find it? That cave was a mess and I couldn't find half the stuff I wanted on the best of days."

Lan Zhan stares back at him, not expecting that they would reach the crux of the matter so quickly. If he must answer this question, then it requires an honesty he didn't think he had the guts for...but he has promised full disclosure, and a Lan never lies.

"Wei Ying, when you...when you let yourself fall from the cliff in Nightless City, I...I wanted to follow you. If we both died, if we fell together or we survived, I didn't care, but if there was a chance I could save you, then I was going to take it. But you were mad with grief, understandably so, and incoherent with it. To the extent that you had no idea what was happening, or where I was taking you.

"We were both depleted of our energy and we needed to rest, so first, I took you to a cave not far away from where we both fell. It helped us to avoid the imminent search parties that began scouring the lands for us, and I knew that the only way to escape would be to take you where the other cultivators would not dare to come after you.

"You were still out of it, barely conscious, and it was only when I tried to feed you some of my spiritual energy that I discovered, I discovered the truth about your golden core."

Wei Ying's eyes widen, and his free hand strays to hover over his dantian, horror flashing in his eyes as he closes them.

"It's there now, just a seedling, but nevertheless, it's there," Lan Zhan assures him. "When did it happen, back then? Was it when Wen Chao threw you into the Burial Mounds?"

Wei Ying shakes his head. He keeps his eyes closed, just for a few more seconds as if he's fortifying himself, making himself stronger for a reason.

"Lan Zhan," he finally says, staring at the ground, "I am going to tell you something now, something I have never told anyone, including Jiang Cheng."

He takes a few deep breaths and suddenly, Lan Zhan gets the feeling that he would rather not know this thing. They say that ignorance is bliss, and it's this thought that strikes fear into his heart. Whatever Wei Ying is about to tell him, it's going to be bad. Possibly even worse than that.

"When the Wens destroyed Lotus Pier, when they killed each and every disciple regardless of age, all my shidis and my shimeis, Jiang Cheng and I... we had to leave that place. We had to leave because our sister was waiting for us to return, and the two of us were no match for the military unit now taking over our home.

"Jiang Cheng went crazy. He tried to strangle me...because he believed his mother when she blamed me for making Wen Chao mad, for making him want to get vengeance on Lotus Pier. She had said it was my fault. Jiang Cheng agreed."

"That's not true, Wei Ying. The Wens had already attacked Gusu by then...Lotus Pier was going to be next, no matter what excuses they tried to justify it with." Lan Zhan says, pulling Wei Ying into his lap and stroking as far down his back as he could manage. The ball of fear in his gut just keeps rolling about, though, getting bigger and bigger.

"I know that now." Wei Ying laughs humourlessly. "Gods, it took this much distancing for me to finally get it. I know now that it wasn't my fault but they needed a scapegoat and I was ripe for the taking. But see, after we found my ShiJie again and we told her what had happened, we were outside and it started raining. None of us were of sound mind, and we should have run for cover...but we didn't.

"ShiJie got sick. We managed to find a place to stay, and just in time, because the Wens were looking for us. Avoiding the patrols was getting harder and harder, and Jiang Cheng was still in shock. My ShiJie needed medicine for her fever, and no matter what, we needed to eat. I had to leave Jiang Cheng with ShiJie to go and buy the supplies, and it was better that way, since the Wen patrols were actively looking for three people travelling together." Wei Ying sighs, taking a break to gather his thoughts.

Lan Zhan needs to know what happened next. He had never heard the full story of this time, and after Wei Ying came back from his three month absence, things were so tense between them that a normal conversation was difficult, if not a rarity. But part of him knows that it is going to hurt, whatever Wei Ying reveals.

"To this day, I don't know what happened, but I think Jiang Cheng saved me. I was buying some bread, nothing special, just a quick thing. And you know when the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, making you shiver? That's what happened to me, and I knew that the Wens had found me. I closed my eyes. I knew I couldn't defend myself with no sword and alone against twenty men, trained fighters. But one second there was this panic, and then there were shouts and the panic left me, a wave of relief that made my knees weak.

"I turned around and saw the coast was clear so I raced back to the inn and then found out that Jiang Cheng had disappeared. The innkeeper was reluctant to talk out in the open, but he told me that the Wens had taken Jiang Cheng away. I made him promise to look after my ShiJie because I had to get him back. The last thing that Madam Yu and Jiang Fengmian told me, separately, was that I had to look after Jiang Cheng, no matter what, and no matter at what cost."

Lan Zhan growls, furious at those adults who had done a piss-poor job of raising their family. But Wei Ying is still talking and he must listen first.

"I had to sneak back into Lotus Pier. It was awful, Lan Zhan. There were piles of bodies everywhere, and ... and they had hung Jiang Fengmian and Madam Yu from the rafters. Swords Hall was a mess, and everywhere was the stench of burning and spilled blood. Jiang Cheng wasn't there...but Wen Chao was, with his whore of a mistress, Wang Lingjiao. And Wen Zhuliu.

"I had to hide. Then, when the coast was clear, I had to make a quick plan. Searching the outer buildings would have taken too long, so I needed to find someone who knew where Jiang Cheng was being held. I found Wen Ning. I'm ashamed of myself, because I hardly recognised him, and I wasn't kind. But long story short, Wen Ning helped me. He drugged the important Wens, and smuggled the Jiangs out. We didn't have time to take everyone straight away, so he brought me Jiang Cheng first, promising to take care of Jiang Fengmian and Madam Yu later.

"Wen Ning came with me to the Yiling supervisory office where Wen Qing was stationed. Being so closely related to Wen Ruohan meant she had a certain amount of power and the soldiers were rightly scared of her. But she managed to hide us away. Unfortunately, it was worse than we thought.

"You see, Wen Chao hadn't stopped at just torturing Jiang Cheng. When he didn't tell them where ShiJie and I were hiding, he had Wen Zhuliu melt Jiang Cheng's golden core. His meridians were not scorched, and that was a small mercy, otherwise...well, anyway, when Jiang Cheng woke up, Wen Qing, who was anxious to get rid of us, discovered that about him. But Jiang Cheng...he was a mess.

"He refused to eat, wouldn't drink anything, hardly slept, and he made so much noise at seeing the Wen robes that Wen Qing had to sedate him. I know Jiang Cheng felt like he had no reason to live. To him, and because Madam Yu had drilled into him how important a golden core is, he thought not having one was as good as being dead.

"He listened to no one, did nothing, and not even our ShiJie coming did anything to rouse him. He felt like a failure because he couldn't even avenge the death of his parents. But...but I couldn't give up. I looked through all the medical texts at Wen Qing's disposal, read through countless documents and tried to find a way. And then I found a diagram."

Lan Zhan's mind hasn't been idle. He has been paying attention to each word Wei Ying has said, and a part of him is quietly horrified. A part of him has already guessed at what Wei Ying is going to tell him.

He knows. It's easy to see now, easy to calculate what happened back then. If in one moment, Jiang Cheng was cultivating with a mediocre golden core, and then suddenly, right around the time that Wei Ying disappeared, Jiang Cheng came back to the sects with a core so powerful that it seemed insane no one questioned it.

"I forced Wen Qing to perform a surgery. She transferred my golden core into Jiang Cheng's body. We lied to him, because he never would have accepted it, but at the time, I saw it as one final payment to cleanse me of my debt to the Jiang Sect. We told him that my mother's Shifu, Baoshan Sanren, had fixed his golden core. He was so desperate back then, that he was ready to believe anything."

"Wei Ying..." Lan Zhan can't say more than that.

There's such an eruption of pain in his chest that it feels like his heart is breaking over and over again, waves of an excruciating ache that takes over his whole body.

"Lan Zhan...don't cry."

Lan Zhan barely hears him. The anguish is unbearable - if Lan Zhan mourned the loss of Wei Ying's Golden core back there in that cave, it was tempered with the certain knowledge that nobody came away from Wen Zhuliu unscathed. He was the Ace card, the jewel in the Chief Cultivator's crown that gave him an unmatched advantage over all the other sects.

But this? To learn that Wei Ying had given away freely, given that part of himself upon which no price could be put to it because it was far too valuable, and then too, to a cultivator that in Lan Zhan's opinion, did not merit such a tragic sacrifice.

He had barely tolerated the Jiang Sect Leader when they had searched for Wei Ying across three months of doubts and fears, a quiet truce of mutual tolerance colouring their every encounter. The man was cruel, both in actions and in his words and evidently had made no progress spiritually. Such an unworthy candidate for a priceless gift.

He comes back to himself and hears that sweet, sad melancholic sound, Wei Ying's soothing voice humming their song to him.

Written by a boy head over heels in love and so, so scared of it, terrified of his own feelings.

Wei Ying tenderly wipes under his eyes, his expression soft and full of understanding.

"Please don't cry about it, Lan Zhan. It doesn't matter any more. Thanks to you, we're living in another timeline, and all of that hasn't happened yet. We've still got a chance to save those who matter to us." Wei Ying hugs him tightly. "But I need to know something even more important."

Lan Zhan nods and then takes out the water that he always carries in his qiankun pouch. He makes Wei Ying drink some of it first, before he does, instantly feeling better.

"Please ask me," he says afterwards. "There is nothing I would keep from you."

Wei Ying hides a small shy smile at that. "Okay...because it's one that you might not want to answer, and I understand that. So you don't have to, if you don't want to," he hurriedly reassures him.

"Wei Ying, I am not the same person I was in that lifetime, nor I suspect, are you. We are allowed to change as we grow, in fact, it is a necessity. You asked me what was going through my mind when I drew the array to bring us to this point. I found the array, the design of it, and I was thinking about how to tweak it so that it would preserve our memories. However, instead of specifically saying that, I must have stated that I wanted the array to preserve our current mental states. But you were totally out of it. So that's why I am guessing that you couldn't remember it all, everything that happened to us.

"But your subconscious records everything, and somehow it found a way to give you a perfect recollection of past events." Lan Zhan takes one of his hands in his. "Before I had a chance to draw it out fully, there was a commotion outside. Uncle Qiren and Xiongzhang had brought thirty three elders from Gusu to convince me to give you up. They would not listen to me," he explains bitterly. "I tried to tell them of your innocence but no one was ready to accept anything except total condemnation of your actions. I was left with no recourse except to defend myself because they attacked me first. I cut them down with no remorse. I still do not feel guilty about what I did, and if I had to do it again, then there is no question in my mind that I would. Part of me justified my actions by reminding myself that if the time travel array worked, then regretting my actions became a moot point."

"Lan Zhan...why did you do that?" Wei Ying sounds horrified.

Lan Zhan makes himself look at him when he answers. They've come this far with full honesty, so he must see it through.

"Wei Ying. I love you. I have loved you for a long, long time. I am only sorry that I did not know what it was I was feeling back then, but this is the truth. It is alright for me if you do not feel the same way. I do not expect it of you. But I want you to know my motive. It is in the singular because I discovered that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. In our first life, so much went wrong with our lives, but yours most of all. Not just how you had to grow up, but the dogs, the punishments meted out by the Jiangs, not to mention the Wens, and then everything you just said. My only wish when I drew your time travel array was to save you from any suffering. I still stand by my choice."

Wei Ying gapes at him.

"I-what do you mean, you love me?"

"Exactly that." Lan Zhan waits for it to sink in. "I am hoping that, during the guest lectures when you visited the Cloud Recesses, you might have felt something along the same lines to persistently follow me around. Even if you don't feel the same romantic kind of love for me, I shall respect your decision, no matter what it is."

Wei Ying lets his head thunk forward to rest on Lan Zhan's shoulder.

"My head hurts now."

"Do you want to lie down for a while? I promise you, we don't have to talk any more about our situation until you're ready."

"Maybe that will help," Wei Ying agrees.

Lan Zhan helps him to lie flat with his head cushioned on Lan Zhan's lap. Lan Zhan uses the extra part of the blanket to cover him up, and cards his fingers through Wei Ying's hair in a soothing motion, hoping it will relax him into sleep.

It works.

*************

Wei Ying wakes up a few hours later.

To Lan Zhan's own surprise, he was not bored at all, waiting for him to wake up. He spent the time counting each of Wei Ying's eyelashes, admiring the way they curled naturally over his round cheeks flushed pink with sleep. Lan Zhan found that he couldn't look away from him, how lovely and unguarded Wei Ying looked in sleep, with none of the wicked cleverness holding onto his expressions, completely relaxed and safe.

He stretches up, two tight fists that reach up into the sky revealing his bare arms, and then he sits up, looking around in confusion before the realisation dawns on what they've been doing here.

"Lan Zhan, what time is it?" He yawns. And then he hugs Lan Zhan too.

Lan Zhan is shocked. When Wei Ying had looked horrified upon hearing his declaration of love, he thought that was it, that Wei Ying would want nothing to do with him any more.

"Silly Lan Zhan," Wei Ying whispers in his ear. "I was shocked that you didn't care about harming members of your clan for me, not shocked about you loving me. I think I still need to get used to it, though. So if you don't mind, I think we should love each other as friends for now...and then we can talk it over later when we're older."

"I agree," Lan Zhan quickly tells him, too happy because it is more than he thought he would get. He must have said his thoughts out loud.

"But what are we gonna do about this, our situation? You've had more time to think about It, right?" Wei Ying climbs into his lap again as if it is the most comfortable place for him.

Lan Zhan does not mind one little bit.

"I only have a partial plan," he admits.

"Okay." Wei Ying looks at him expectantly. "What is it?"

"This." Lan Zhan pulls out his kill list and hands it to him.

************

A/N

Dear Beautiful Readers,

Going out to watch Wolverine and Deadpool, but I thought this was ready to publish.

What do you think so far? Are we ready for the WangXian baby killers to get some action? Let's see what happens!

Thank you for reading and reaching out to me with your comments, they really help. But also a shout-out to all the readers who don't want to say anything, I just want you to know that it's okay to do that as well. I used to be like that too, so I understand.

All my love,

Charlie.
🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫🍫