'She's been going where?!' Winter asked Carlisle, who was lounging leisurely in a chair at their club, nursing a drink.

'Madame Dumont's,' Carlisle gave him a bored shrug as if he hadn't just delivered the most apoplexy-inducing news Winter had ever heard.

'You're lying.'

'Very well,' Carlisle just took a casual sip of his drink and continued to watch Winter with his unnerving, feline gaze.

Why the devil was his-was Seraphina going to a damned brothel?! One as damn notorious as Madame Dumont's?!

The bordello was famous for its bacchanals, and for catering to the whims of any client, no matter how strange. Winter swallowed thickly. And it was also one of the few establishments in the city that offered services to women. His grip tightened on the arm of his chair.

'Personally,' Carlisle continued, swirling the amber liquid in the cup. 'I don't think it's any cause for alarm. This would hardly be the first time Miss Macleod did this sort of a thing.'

Winter choked on his response.

'What sort of a thing?' He asked when he could manage it, jealousy roiled in his gut at the thought of anyone aside from him getting their hands on her. He dispelled it just as quickly, because though he did not think Miss Macleod was the sort of woman to visit a den of sin and debauchery like Madame Dumont's; even if she was, he was no saint himself. The things he had done -and had done to him- would make even a gentleman blush. Instead, he decided to level an irritated glare at his friend. Now that Winter thought about it, Carlisle had had a habit of speaking in riddles and half-truths even in their youth. That particular habit had gotten them both into and out of a great deal of trouble at Cambridge. 'Cut the horse shite, Carlisle.'

'You're no fun, Graham.' Carlisle gave an exaggerated pout and took a long sip from his glass. A muscle ticked in Winter's jaw from how hard he had it clenched. 'I only mean that this is likely one of Miss Macleod's crusades. Every now and then some poor soul in need of rescue will reach out to her and off she goes.'

'What are you talking about?'

'You know, a whore who wishes to leave the life but fears the retribution of her taskmaster, a wife who wishes to leave a violent husband, that sort of thing.'

A panic sound escaped Winter's throat.

'She does these things alone?!'

'Well, legally the Sanctuary cannot intervene between a married woman and husband. Nor can we afford the notoriety by getting involved in feuds with the powerholders in the flesh trade.' Carlisle looked at Winter as if he was stupid. 'Do you even know the amount of work your mother has put in to give the Sanctuary a respectable veneer? For years most people of our society wouldn't ever have willingly spent their blunt on an institution that rehabilitates whores and fallen women. Oh, and their bastard-born children.'

'And so, she acts by herself, enabling these women to reach safety without directly involving the Sanctuary.' Winter said, understanding dawning simultaneously with dread. 'Christ almighty. This woman is going to be the death of me.'

'She's hardly the only one,' Carlisle frowned at him, as if disappointed. 'Even your mother has involved herself in a clandestine operation or two. There's just too much evil, too many innocents in need of saving. It's like pushing water out of a sinking ship with a teaspoon.'

Winter gawked at Carlisle in horror. His mother was flittering around town getting herself involved with all sorts of shady characters?!

The women in his life were mad, and they were going to take him right along with them.

'Not anymore,' Carlisle assured him hastily. 'But in her youth, certainly, in the early days of the Sanctuary.'

'When the devil did you and my mother because bosom chums?' Winter asked snappishly.

'She likes me because I make her money.' Carlisle laughed, this time his smile entirely genuine instead of the almost empty, cold one he usually employed. Winter almost started at the marked difference. 'I would hasten, if I were you, my friend. No, in fact, I would not get myself involved in Miss Macleod's business if I were you. But you are a better man than I, so off with you.'

Winter nodded his thanks and summoned his carriage.

There he was again. That boy that she was sure was following her. Seraphina observed from her window, the boy had set down a boot-cleaning box and was setting up his polish. She continued to look at him, hoping to catch him observing her as she checked her hidden pockets one more time. Her two knives were concealed adequately and were within reach if things went sideways. Which they hopefully wouldn't, because she had timed her intervention almost immaculately.

The woman had approached her via a messenger, a hurriedly written note with atrocious spelling and a clumsy hand, for her master was a possessive sort that did not often let her out of her sight. She was around Seraphina's age and had fallen on hard times. She had accepted the advances of a man who was pursuing her thinking that he would marry her. Instead, he had installed her in a shoddy apartment as his mistress, convincing her that no one would have her now that she was no longer chaste. He had her watched until he came to visit, and then took her to a bordello to subject her to all kinds of depravity. It had taken great lengths for Seraphina to meet her, intercepting her while the vile man had taken her out to shop. In the dressing room, pretending to be a dressmaker's assistant, Seraphina had seen the whip marks across the woman's back herself.

The man visited her every night to take her to that horrid place, leaving her in peace only once he had fallen asleep, and therein lay their window. Seraphina had been visiting the bordello, both times to ask about a position in the kitchen and she was meant to start her first shift as a serving girl tonight. It was to absolutely no one's surprise that the brothel had a high turnover rate. Naturally, she would use the access to the bordello to reach the woman and help her run.

Once the hour was sufficiently late, Seraphina sent her brother off to spend the night at their neighbor's. These days she was worrying also about the fact that their aunt, who had become his default guardian, seemed far too interested in his inheritance. Indeed, she had been hinting that Seraphina and her other nephew could make a match of it. She wished to monopolize all of their inheritance, no doubt. Seraphina scowled in displeasure. She would rather go to prison than give that woman a dime of her money. Especially by being coerced into a union. Once Seraphina turned six-and-twenty in five months, she could become Caelan's guardian and have control over her own inheritance.

But what could she do until then?

They had a godmother in Scotland that they hadn't seen in at least a decade, but Seraphina had reached out to her anyway. Worst case scenario, if her aunt turned too insistent, she would take Caelan and hope her godmother would accept having them underfoot for a few months until Seraphina reached her majority.

But that was a problem for tomorrow, right now there was a more immediate worry; there was a woman in need of help.

A little while later, she was on the street in nondescript clothing as well as a cloak to hide her face. She fought against the chill of the night, once again feeling as though she was being watched, but a cursory look around her showed that there was only a beggar on the street. Finally, a hackney pulled up and Seraphina relayed her address to the driver, watching his face glint with judgment. She offered him a coin extra for his trouble.

 As Seraphina settled into the hack and called for the driver to set off, the door of the vehicle swung open with such violent force that she reached for her knife. A figure, tall and masculine, basically leapt into the seat across from hers and that gave her all the advantage she needed. Palming the hilt of her knife, she leapt forward, knocking the man back and setting her blade at his throat with enough force that the skin underneath welled with blood from a thin, shallow cut.

'Oh, Christ, what the fuck?!' The familiar voice cried out in surprise and Seraphina stumbled back in horror.

'What the devil is wrong with ye, my Lord?!' She snarled at him, making out his familiar handsome face as he scowled at her. 'You keep this up and one of these days I will kill ye!'

'Indeed not, madam!' He snapped at her. 'It is you who will die at my hand! What the devil are you thinking, going to fucking Madame Dumont's?'

Understanding dawned.

Why, this pompous arsehole! 

'The boy!' She exclaimed in accusation.

'What boy?!'

'You arrogant arse, you're having me followed!'

'You know?!' He gawked at her. 'It was meant to be discreet!'

'You aren't even going to try and deny it?!'

'Why should I?!' He demanded in a fury. 'I was clearly doing the right thing, given the madness to which you would involve yourself without a second thought!'

'Oh, you presumptuous-!' She managed to keep the curse from her mouth just by the sheer power of her will. 'Who do you think you are, good sir?! Ye are nae my father nor brother nor husband!'

'I am someone who cares!' He argued back, raising his voice to match her temper.

'This is not the way to show it, my Lord! And God certainly knows you shouldn't-'

He grabbed her by the collar, crushing her mouth under his own. She made a strangled sound, pushed him back with solid force, and let her fist fly. Her hand landed with a loud thwack on the wood perilously close to his face.

'Have ye lost yer damn mind?!' She hissed at him, her head nigh exploding with fury. 'Do ye think a bleedin' kiss can erase the fact that ye have grossly violated my privacy?! Donnae try me again or I'll clock ye on that pretty unbroken nose of yers!'

'That was never my intention, but you must admit that what you are doing is highly foolish. You shouldn't be allowed-'

'Heaven forbid a woman know her own mind! Nay, she needs a man to whom she is not even related to tell her what she may and may not do!'

'Seraphina, please,' Winter beseeched angrily, his face ashen as light from a street lamp filtered in through the windows. 'I just want you to be safe!'

'I am safe! I have taken care of myself for years!' She snapped as she raised a furious finger to the long jagged scar running down her face and saw him flinch. Whether it was at her harsh tone or the scar, she could not be sure. 'Do you wish to know how I got this scar? I was fifteen, watching a drunken man trying to assault a barmaid. And everyone pretending that there was nothing wrong with what we saw. When I tried to stop him, he smashed his glass into my face. And I fought him, with blood clouding my vision and dripping down my chin. I. Can. Handle. Myself. I do not need you to play protector.'

She rapped furiously on the top of the hack, letting the driver know she wished to disembark. He made a hasty grab for her hand as the hackney rolled to a halt.

'Sera, wait. Please. Your safety, your wellbeing is important.'

'This is important! The work I do is important!' She felt hot tears of humiliation and frustration prick at her eyes. She wrenched her hand from his grip.  'My trust is important and you have so thoroughly violated it. You cannot control people, my Lord, used to it though you may be. You certainly cannot control me. There will never be a moment when a woman needs my help and I do not offer it because I value my comfort above her life.'

'Of course not. Sera, please, let me explain.' He hurried after her as she made to leave, reaching for her once more. He pulled them into the cover of a dark alley, away from prying eyes. 'Sera, love, please. Please.'

And damn if her heart didn't stutter over that single four-lettered word.

'Forgive me. I did not realize how it would make you feel, I only knew that I was worried. Every day, the first thought I have when I wake is of you, and you are the last one before I sleep. Oftentimes, I cannot be rid of you even in my dreams. This world, it is not kind. Not to orphans, not to women who have no one to protect them. And every day!-' His voice shook with emotion. 'Every day, it feels like a noose tightening around my neck, knowing that you are alone. Knowing that I cannot help you if you were ever hurt.' His voice broke, right along with Seraphina's heart. 'I have never- I have never in my life felt for another as I feel for you. And if I could, I would damn the world to hell only for the chance to be with you.'

But hung unsaid in the silence between them for a while. 

Buts. 

She knew there were a whole host of them.

'But there are expectations. Duties. Not to mention that I would never wish a life upon you where you are the subject of ridicule and embarrassment. Where you would have to let go of your work to be a glorified doll. My world is hard and unforgiving to outsiders, how could I expose you to that when all I ever want is for you to be safe?' His eyes glinted with frustrated tears in the low light of the night sky.

'I-I cannot give up my work.' Her own throat closed up. 'It is so integral to who I am. It is my purpose. My calling. This, whatever it is between you and I must stop. We are- we are wrong for each other. Wrong for each other's worlds.'

'I know. Christ. What a mess.' He pinched the bridge of his nose as if his head pained him. 'Forgive me for acting like such a bloody fool, Sera. My only excuse is that I have never been in love before.'

'What?' She gasped, rocking back on her heels at the admission.

'Surely, this cannot come as a shock to you?' He smiled, sad and bittersweet. Her own heart wailed in response. 'I have been yours from the moment we met in those stables. Surely, you have known that you have haunted me since then.'

'And I have been yours since the day you held my hand in the dining room,' She whispered. 'I love you, too. I dream of you, too. I wish for you and ache for you. Everyday. It is both torment and blessing.'

'Forgive me?' When he pulled her to him this time, she went willingly, whispering her forgiveness against his flesh. Accepting the brush of his mouth against her ruined skin and then her mouth, letting him kiss away her tears. 'I fear that I will always love you, Seraphina Macleod.'

'I know that I shall always love you, Winter Hastings.' She managed in spite of the moisture still seeping down her face.

'Ah, sweeting.' He kissed her head with heart-rendering tenderness. 'I will try not to bother you from now on, break my heart as it might. I would love nothing more than to leave town, alas I must repay a favor to a friend. Afterward, perhaps. Physical distance might do us both some good.'

Liar. There would be no undoing this.

But why not live in the pretense of it? Maybe he needed the lie as badly as she did.

When eventually he got married and she read about it in the papers, she would weep. When he had his family with another, she would weep. And perhaps, one day, if he inherited the Sanctuary, she would steel herself to the sight of him so close, yet far removed from her. As though she were an animal trapped in a jar, helpless to do anything but watch and unable to bridge the gap between them.

'I might leave London. For a few months, in any case. I have a godmother in Scotland.'

'I do not mean to run you out of the city, sweeting.' He chuckled, but his smile did not reach his eyes.

'No, no. It's a complicated inheritance matter. Nothing I cannot solve, mind you, so do not interfere!' She informed him sternly and he laughed.

'Christ, I am so mad for you, woman, that you turn me higher-handed than Rothbury. Now that is an accomplishment if there ever was one.'

He took her hand and offered her a sweeping bow that belonged more to a Mayfair ballroom than a grimy alleyway behind a brothel. He placed one final kiss on the inside of her wrist, where her pulse beat.

'So.' She said in a garbled voice, her smile watery. 'This is goodbye.'

'This is goodbye.' Once again his smile did not reach his eyes. 'If you ever need anything, be it tomorrow or ten years from now, my doors are open. Always, for you. Now go, my love. The most wondrous woman I have known, go and save what you can of the world. Go, knowing there is someone wishing for the best for you. I will wait until I see you've safely reached home, until then I will not be able to rest easy.'

She nodded, kissed him one final time, and then left with her heart in pieces. 

A/N: Hi guys, in case you missed the announcement, I have decided to not adhere to a schedule for the last 8-9 chapters of AMMI. (Yes, we only have a fraction of a way to go now!)

Now, do not worry, this does not mean that I will be uploading infrequently. Quite the opposite in fact! I will simply start uploading the chapters as I finish writing and editing them. These days I'm feeling very motivated and driven to complete my book and that usually means I'm writing about two-ish chapters a week (you guys might have noticed lol). It really depends on the time I can find between school and work, but you will still be seeing at LEAST one chapter a week as always.

Thank you to everyone who has been with me on this journey! As always, happy reading!