Yesterday we both didn't talk much and just lay in bed. Each was in his own thoughts, as I am now. Tom is lying next to me and sleeping. His arm is tight around me, so it is very difficult for me to move.All night I have been thinking about whether it is really the right decision to leave. I fell in love with him in the few days and I will never get a chance like this again, but it is better for him, whether it is better for me I don't know. It's like being in a dream.I look at Tom and automatically smile, when he sleeps he is so peaceful. Yesterday you could see that it was too much for him. What I would never have thought. But to know exactly how one works as a mafia boss I don't really want to know. He could walk out the door every time and never step back in because he could get killed.

I lean over to him and spread kisses on his face. A slight grumble, shows me that he has woken up a bit. "Could you loosen your grip a little? I'd like to change," slowly he opens his eyes and starts to smile.

All of a sudden he pulls me all the way to him and kisses me. It came as a surprise to me. Of course I return his kiss. You forget the feeling of time when you are busy with it. When his soft lips meet my lips, I can no longer think clearly anyway. He pulled away from me and puts his hand to the back of my head. "Good morning beautiful," he says in his raspy morning voice, giving me huge goosebumps. "Good morning," I answer him and cuddle more against his chest. I feel comfortable around him, I can't discount that. "What are we doing today?", I ask him and put my hand on his six-pack. "I have to work today. Sorry," I'm a little sad about that already. Actually, I wanted to spend at least the last few minutes with Tom before I leave his world. "D-do you mind if I go out today?", I sit up and look into his eyes. "No," he says simply and tried to get up, but I held his wrist. "Honey please. I wanted to go out today with Emma. We already have everything planned," he looks at me strictly and I couldn't help but give him a puppy dog look."Ok, ok stop looking at me like that! You may, but only if my men go with you. I decide the number!", squealing I jump up and kiss him. Quickly I remove myself and go to the bathroom. I close the door and hear Tom laughing lightly. Quickly I take a shower and get ready before going down the stairs.

Arriving in the kitchen everything is already on the table. Gaby has once again outdone herself. "Good morning Gaby, this looks amazing again," she turns to me and smiles "Good morning Y/N, glad you like it." I sat down at my seat but there was no trace of Tom. I grab a yogurt and start eating it when I notice a kiss on my temple. He puts his strong arms on my shoulders. I lean against him and breathe in his scent. "Princess I am out of the house now until tonight. Be careful even if my men are with you," I look up at him and he gives me a kiss on the forehead.

"What are you doing today y/n?", Gaby asks me. Tom looks at me eagerly, too. "Emma and I have a little tradition. Every year we visit the children's home and ask what the kids want. There's a lot they can't afford, so we usually take a portion of that list and shop for the gifts." I look at Gaby, who's eyes glaze over a bit, making me laugh slightly. Tom takes my chin and kisses me. "I'm so proud of you. But this time you take the whole list," he takes out his wallet and hands me his card. With wide eyes I look at him. "Don't tell him it's from me though. Otherwise they'll all think I've gone weak and that's bad for business," he kisses me again and then walks out the door. Shocked, I look at Gabby, who grins at me. "He's Tom again. You made it," confused I look at her but she walks out of the kitchen.
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After doing all the prep for today, I had to put on something else since it's pretty cold. I look at my phone and hope that Emma has already written, but no luck. Usually she is always on time. There is a knock on the door and three of Tom's men are standing in front of me. I have to swallow hard, because such big guys make you kind of scared. "Can I help you?", I try not to sound insecure, but I don't manage it. "Mr. Holland hired us to watch her and her friend. We've already informed your friend that we're coming to pick her up, so if you're ready we can get going now."

I nod and take my bag, with it we all go downstairs and I look around unobtrusively to see if there is any door where none of his men are standing in front of it. But I have bad luck there, so an escape attempt is cancelled. Nervously I go through my hair. "Is everything all right?" one of Tom's bodyguards asks. I nod and then look away. I notice that he is still watching me for a moment but then looks ahead again.

When we arrive at Emma's, she was already standing in front of the door and immediately came running to us. "I am so excited. Finally it's that time again and we can make children's eyes sparkle," her excited nature makes this day that much better. "Tom gave me his credit card, which means we can take the whole list this time," she Smiles at me even more. "He has such a big heart. Too bad he's already taken." I box against her arm and we start laughing. When we arrived at the children's home, we were not allowed out yet, because everything had to be checked first, but when they were ready, everything could begin. Immediately we were received. "Mrs. Jones, it's nice to see you again," Emma greeted the director of the children's home. "We are also glad that you are supporting us again. We can start cutting the list in half right away..." but she couldn't continue talking because I interrupt her. "We'll take the whole list this year."Shocked, she looks at us and tried to talk us out of it but it didn't work. "Don't worry, we have someone to support us there," I add and she hugs us. "You are such wonderful people, but this time I'm giving you support," she walked into another room for a moment. I look at Emma confused, but she just shrugs.  Mrs. Jones and a man our age joined us. I elbow Emma in the side because she started to stare. "Y/N, Emma. This is Jacob.""Hey," we said at the same time.

But somehow I got a strange feeling in my stomach.
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