"So," you asked over the quiet hum of the car as you drove away, "Where are we off to?"

He smiled mischievously ahead, and you were quick to stop him and say, "Mett, I swear, if you say it's a surprise-"

"But it is a surprise," he insisted with a little pout.

You made a show of slapping your palm to your forehead and he chuckled aloud at you, "I'm sure if you take your hand away from your face and look around you can probably guess."

"I'm sure I probably can't," you argued, looking up at your unfamiliar surroundings, "I live like an hour south of the lab and never drive further than twenty minutes away from my house."

"You do?" He asked, obviously surprised. He still didn't take his eyes off the road. That was good. Monsters had only been on the surface for a couple years now, and while he was able to become a successful celebrity in that time, you were less confident in his driving abilities.

"Yeah. I was pretty desperate for a job when Alphys started hiring and now I have no incentive to go elsewhere." You shrugged, although he couldn't really see.

"So then you must really not get out much," he muttered. You sighed at his comment, but had to admit that he was right. You mainly spent your time commuting to and from work and watching Netflix until you fell asleep every night.

"Make me sound more pathetic, will ya?" You joked, looking at him to catch his reaction.

His eyebrows raised and he made a face that probably should have accompanied a shrug, "You're saying it, darling, not me."

You snorted, "Wow. Sure am glad I decided to go on a date with ya. Definitely spiced up my pathetic life. Oh, good and gracious Mettaton, how am I ever to thank you for your charity and generosity?"

He looked up briefly, and tilted his head to the side like a confused puppy before asking, "Is that sarcasm I hear?"

"Take a guess."

"Gasp!" (Yes, he shouted the word. Yes, you were beginning to wonder why you had agreed to thing in the first place.)

(No, you would not admit that you were already having a good time.)

"Did you just," you began, but he quickly cut you off.

"Darling, I simply can't believe you'd be so rude to me," he said, surprised.

You tried to make a show of being coolly suave, replying, "Well believe it, baby."

And now he was blushing. Or, robot blushing. You weren't really sure, but the fans inside him were working hard to cool him down. The conversation fell off at that point, and the car hummed along the road in pleasant silence for the next half hour or so. Mettaton reached over and turned up the volume on the radio and you found yourself dozing off with your face against the window as he hummed along to the music.

You were awoken by a gentle brush against your cheek, and sat up slowly and drowsily.
"We're here, darling," he grinned, resting a hand on your shoulder comfortably.

"Here" was apparently a small town filled with bakeries and restaurants and all sorts of mom-and-pop stores. Throughout the square there were fairy lights twisted into trees and happily twinkling lights suspended in the air. All sorts of people walked through, but there were mostly monsters. And above it all loomed the impressive peak of Mount Ebott, watching over their activities with silent regard.

"This is, wow. It's awesome, Mett," you said, still enamored with your surroundings.

Mettaton slipped an arm around your waist and grinned, "Isn't it? It's called Surface Home." Before you could comment on that, he cut you off quickly by saying, "Yes, I know. The monster king was awful at naming."

"So I've gathered," you remarked, leaning further into him. It wasn't quite summer yet and the evening air held a chill.

"Yes, well, it's fitting at least. When the monsters came from the Underground, a good portion of them stayed in the empty area around the mountain. There are plenty of towns like this, but this one happens to be rather tourist-y."

"You say that like you weren't a monster that came from the Underground," you pointed out.

"Well, I," he hesitated and sighed, "That's a story for a different time, darling."

You didn't like the look that had taken over his eyes, distant and melancholy. Almost regretful. As much as you were curious about his life, you really didn't want to pry or make him upset on this date. If you wanted any more, that is. So instead you shrugged and tried to squeeze even closer to him. You could feel the hot air blowing from his fans onto your skin, warming you. Or maybe you were also warmed by just being so close to him.

He chuckled sweetly, at your actions you assumed, and began to talk again, "So, darling, where to first?"

"Wherever you want, I guess," you replied indecisively.

"It's up to you sweetheart," he insisted, "Truly."

"Okay," you thought for a moment. You hated all the pressure on you, "I guess food. Food seems like a good idea."

His face lit up, "I'm so glad you said that, beautiful! You know, there's this little cafe that I think you'll absolutely adore."

"Sounds like a plan."
______

You did not, in fact, absolutely adore it. The food and drinks were good, but there was the small, insignificant fact that it was run entirely by spiders. You nearly had a heart attack when you noticed, and you were in no small rush to escape from the place at the soonest moment. As such, you were now walking the town with your food and a warm drink in hand. The sun had set, and the lights now glowed brighter, bathing the village in light.

"I didn't realize that you were so scared of spiders, darling," Mettaton apologized for perhaps the sixth time since you left.

"I never told you," you shrugged, "It's good though, so whatever. Is that a bookstore?"

What had caught your eye was a large purple brick building with vines crawling up the sides. There was no sign, but a small fence made of books led you to believe that that was what was sold inside.

"I assume you want to go inside," Mettaton looked down at you.

"I mean, yeah. If you don't mind," you answered.

"Of course not! This is all for you, after all," he insisted.

You grinned and quickly advanced towards the store, Mettaton easily keeping up with you at a stroll. It smelled musty inside, but a nice kind of musty. Bookshelves stretched far under the soft warm glow of the buzzing incandescent lights. It was heaven.

"Damn, this, this is..." You couldn't seem to form a full sentence and breathed out another, "Woah."

Mettaton grinned, "Speechless, hmm?" He pursed his lips into a pout, "Shame, I thought I was the only one that could do that to you."

"Don't flatter yourself," you remarked, glancing away dismissively. Another corner with painted vines to mimic the ones outside caught your eye, and you gestured for Mettaton to follow you. He did so, trailing after you like a dog after its owner.

The shelves against that wall held a collection of leather-bound fantasy books. You ran your fingers along the spines, enraptured. There were titles you had recognized, some you had read, and some that you had never even heard of. You assumed, based on the names of the authors, that they were written by monsters.

You pulled out one of them at random, a book simply entitled "Human Child", and admired the gold leaf on the pages. This had to be forty dollars at the least. You flipped open the cover with the hope of finding some indication as to what it was about, but there was no blurb or description.

"I've heard of that one before," Mettaton piped up, "I never actually read it, but I've heard it's divine."

"Hm," you glanced up at him, "Any idea what it's about?"

He shrugged, "Something about a young human falling to the underground and killing all the monsters."

How awful!

You needed it immediately.

You closed the cover resolutely and held the volume protectively in your arms, almost as if it were a child.

"Well, I think we're done here," you told Mettaton with a satisfied grin.

He seemed confused, "That's all?"

You snorted, "Not all of us are blessed with enormous wealth, metal man. Besides, this is enough to occupy me. I have a ton of shit I haven't even read yet at home."

He shook his head in protest, "I won't allow you to leave with just this, darling. There must be something else you want. I'll even get it for you."

"Mett, I'm fine with just this. There's plenty of things we haven't even seen yet," you reminded him. He seemed conflicted at first, but eventually gave in to you and followed you up to the checkout counter. If you were being honest, you wanted to buy the entire store, but you couldn't exploit his money, even if he was willing.

As you exited the store, he began conversation with, "I wasn't aware you were a big reader, sweetheart."

"Yeah, I used to be way more into it, but I still can't stop buying books constantly," you answered. His fingers brushed against your own as you walked next to each other. You curbed your urge to grab his hand.

"So you don't read anymore?"

"I do when I can, which isn't often." You inched just that bit closer to him. He chuckled, in response to what you weren't sure, and moved closer to you as well.

"What about you?" You asked, just to distract yourself from how much you wanted to link your fingers with his.

"What do you mean?" He asked. His fingers brushed against yours again. You didn't move your hand. Neither did he.

"No, just, what does the glamorous Mettaton do in his free time? I feel like you know more about me than I do about you," you clarified.

He thought a moment, "Hmm, well, I do enjoy a lot of the things I perform. Dancing, singing, cooking."

"As expected."

"Sometimes, however," he lowered his voice, "And don't you dare tell Alphys, I actually quite enjoy certain anime."

You gasped, just to mess with him, "You're kidding me. You? Of all people?"

"It's humiliating, isn't it?" He asked rhetorically, stopping in his tracks.

"No, no!" You were quick to deny it, "Everyone's got a guilty pleasure, right?"

"I'd love to know what yours are, sweetheart," He teased, grinning like a misbehaving child. You started walking again, away from him.

As he caught up with you, you said, "That is information that I am not at liberty to share."

He placed his hand on your shoulder, "Oh come on, darling, don't be so shy. I won't judge you."

"Yeah, I'd rather not," you evaded, playfully shrugging his hand off of you, "I'm scared of what you could do with the information."

"Hmph, you're no fun at all," he groaned, turning his face away from you.

You found yourself marveling at the fact that this was Mettaton. He really wasn't all that different from his stage persona, but it was odd enough to make you question if you had really gone out with the right person. On stage he always seemed more mature, relying on his body and sexuality to sell his act, always overconfident and beaming perfection. He was sort of the same now, just more...stripped bare? He was still a self-absorbed son of a bitch, but he was more playful than you had seen him act on stage, or even in your previous short conversations. He teased and joked and acted like a child when the moment called for it, and he was honestly pretty sweet as well.

How on this ever-loving Earth did you end up here?

"Oh, darling, that would make for a great picture, wouldn't it!" Mettaton exclaimed suddenly, grabbing your arm and pointing at a fountain lit with blue lights. You honestly had to agree, it was pretty nice. However, you didn't get a chance to voice that agreement before he practically dragged you over, your legs scurrying cartoonishly to keep you from falling.

There was a girl sitting nearby, texting excitedly and occasionally glancing up every now and then. Mettaton released you in order to approach her. You awkwardly stood where he left you, wondering to yourself what he was doing now and making your best effort not to creepily stare.

He returned not a minute later, the girl from the bench following him, a grin from ear to ear plastered on her face. Mettaton slipped his arm behind your back in a movement so natural that it surprised even you, and said, "Sweetheart, I've asked this darling fan if she wouldn't mind taking a picture of us over there, and she said that she'd be happy to."

You glanced over in the girl's direction, and waved quickly as she enthused about what a huge fan she was. You sort of smiled and nodded until she finished talking. For some reason, this is the part of being on a date with a celebrity that you had forgotten about. Mettaton eventually handed her his phone and you two walked to the fountain. Unsure of what to do with yourself, you shot a pair of finger guns at the camera. Mettaton did some outlandish pose (no doubt drawing even more attention to himself but, hey, that's what he was all about, right?) and the girl taking the picture giggled.

After that photo, Mettaton stopped you before she could take another and asked, "Now please, darling, can we get a serious one?"

You rolled your eyes at him and answered, "Fine, but I hope you know I'll look terribly uncomfortable."

He shook his head, placing a hand on you shoulder and one under your chin. "Oh, hush, sweetheart. You'll look wonderful."

"Shut up," you laughed. Your face grew warm with his touch.

And then he kissed you.

It was so much better this time than it was the first, when you were caught in the heat of the moment and simply doing what seemed should come next. He was soft and gentle now, and you melted into him, despite your surprise and despite the fact that literally anyone could see. Instead, you held his hips firmly, keeping him from going anywhere else. You wanted him to stay right where he was, as he was. You couldn't remember the last time you felt a feeling like that, and holy shit, you didn't want it to end any time soon.

Unfortunately, Mettaton seemed to have other plans, and he pulled away, almost reluctantly. He gave you his signature MTT Brand™ smirk, while you could do nothing but stare at him and grin like an idiot.

"Wow," you muttered, "That was..."

Mettaton quirked an eyebrow, "Marvelous? Fantastic? Everything you had ever hoped and more?"

You shrugged, "I was gonna say unexpected."

He gasped and released you, nudging you away from him and causing you to stumble back and nearly fall while laughing at his violent reaction.

"You asshole!" You shouted between gales of laughter.

His mouth gaped, "How dare you!"

Unsure of how to respond you merely countered, "How dare I? How dare I? How dare you? You're the one that shoved me!"

"Well you made a very uncalled for insult, and I don't appreciate that," Mettaton countered with a smile, approaching you once more.

Just to mess with him, you said a quick, "Fuck off," resulting in a comment from the girl that Mettaton had dragged into this mess. You had forgotten that you had an audience.

"I, should I get going?" She asked timidly, probably not wanting to interrupt your banter.

Mettaton suddenly snapped back to his celebrity persona, regaining his composure quickly, "Let's see how they came out first, darling."

The girl nodded and approached hesitantly. You followed Mettaton's example and calmed yourself considerably. She ended up standing between you and Mettaton, who snatched the device from her excitedly. While he admired the shots, you got the girl's attention.

"Hey, um, thanks a lot," you began.

"It's no problem," She responded before questioning, "I didn't, uh, are you and Mettaton together?"

You had hoped she'd bring that up. "Actually, would you mind keeping this to yourself? I mean, I'd just rather not become a part of a big thing just cause Mett ask- Mettaton asked me to hang out and all," you explained.

She nodded seriously, and you thanked her just as Mettaton was bringing the phone over to show you. He handed the phone to you and stood behind you so that he could look at it over your shoulder.

You had to admit, she had done a good job. The first picture was your silly pose, and you noticed that Mettaton had actually been laughing in that one, looking at it now. You chuckled seeing it, your own idiocy far outmatched by Mettaton's. He had posed with his hip jutting far out and his arms reaching over him, one in the air and one laying over the top of his head, and the fact that he was caught mid-laughter gave a funnier layer to his usual smirk. The second was blurry, perhaps taken by accident. It was when Mettaton was talking to you, just before he had kissed you. You couldn't really tell much of anything happening due to the blurriness. Mettaton apparently agreed, as he reached over you to delete it.

"Oh, this one's my favorite," Mettaton enthused as the following picture showed. The lights of the fountain must have glowed much brighter when it was taken, because your bodies were completely silhouetted against the fountain as you kissed. The figures of your bodies blended into one in the center, and you realized that you had been closer than you thought. It was the perfect romantic cliché picture, and something might have been wrong with you, because you actually liked it. But you wanted to keep Mettaton from knowing that.

"Of course it is, your ass looks huge," you commented.

Mettaton sighed in apparent exasperation, "I mean us, darling. We look adorable."

"Yeah, fine. I guess we do," you gave in somewhat, swiping to the side once more. In the last picture she had taken, the fountain light had dimmed again, and you were blurry, while Mettaton was apparently in a state of shock. You held back a guffaw and handed Mettaton his phone back, saying, "Now that is art."

He rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the girl who was still standing by, "These are marvelous, darling. It was so nice meeting you."

Without waiting for her to respond, Mettaton wrapped his arms around her in a hug, and she looked like she might actually faint for a few moments.

"Thank you so much!" She nearly shouted, "Have a great night! Thanks!"

She continued saying such things as she walked away, a huge spring in her step.

"Aww," you taunted, "You're so sweet to your fans."

"What kind of entertainer would I be if I wasn't, lovely?" Mettaton looked down at his phone, but continued to speak, "People like her got me to where I am today. They're as important to me as I am to them."

"Cute," you remarked, then stretched to try and catch a glimpse of what he was doing, "What are you up to now?"

"Well, I want to share this, of course," he spoke as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. You rushed to stop him.

"No no no no no." You reached for the phone in his hands, "Please don't."

He pouted, "But, sweetheart, it's fabulous. I want everyone to know it."

"That's the issue, Mett. I don't want that sort of attention." You kept yourself from mentioning that you technically weren't even an official couple yet. (Yet, remember that. There's a chance, maybe even a likelihood that it'll happen).

"My fans are lovely, darling. Nobody would ever do anything to you," he lowered his voice, "And if someone did, I would personally ensure they were given a very long and painful end to their existence."

"Mett!"

"Oh, hush, I doubt it will ever come to that. Now pretty please can I post it?" He asked once more, giving you large puppy eyes. You felt your heart begin to melt against its will.

"Okay, you know what, go ahead-"

"Oh, yes!" He cut you off before you could continue.

"But, you can only post the first one," you went on.

He still wasn't pleased. "Oh, come on. That's the worst one of all three."

"Still not done," you reminded him, "And post it with a caption that makes it seem like I'm just a fan. If you got a picture with that girl, post them together."

"But you're not just a fan," he complained further, "You're far more special than that, and I want to make it known." For some reason that made your heart flutter. You obviously knew that already, but it was even nicer to hear him say it.

"Please, Mett? If there comes a time when I feel comfortable enough, then I promise you, that'll be the first thing I let you post," you insisted, looking up at his face. His expression screamed disappointment.

He pondered for a little before saying, "Okay, throw in a kiss and you have yourself a deal."

You rolled your eyes. "Oh, come on. You're really going to blackmail me into kissing you?" His expression held and he nodded. You rolled your eyes again playfully and stood on the tips of your toes, grinning as he let his eyes close. At the last moment, you moved so that your lips landed on his cheek instead.

"That's it? That is completely unfair, darling."

"Stop whining," you scolded, "You never specified anything."

He looked like he would argue further, but he simply sighed and slipped his phone into his back pocket. As you began walking again, Mettaton reached for your hand. You raised an eyebrow at him in confusion at first, but he ignored it and intertwined his fingers with your own. His hand gave off a slight warmth, soothing you. You held it tighter.