It starts on the day when you're going to propose her.

You know she would definitely say a no but you don't really care because you love her. Like the moon loves the stars. But there's a hidden hope in you... that she might say yes. Because she loves you more than anyone else.

You know she's late, but you cannot figure out why. That's the time when your pessimism gets a better hold of yourself, and you start thinking. Too much that you cannot keep a pace with your thoughts.

You hope she's okay. But you've a gut-wrenching feeling that it's not okay, that it's not constant. And when your phone rings you know whats wrong.

And you wish it wasn't that way.

After all it has always been zero or hundred for you two. All or nothing.

And maybe nothing was always yours.

•••

The sky is in an erratic mixture of oranges and reds, much like the increased pace of his heart. He tries to stay calm amidst the crowd which cheers for him in sheer joy and happiness. It is his first victory in an overseas series as a captain, and no one could be less proud to see the man of the series standing in front of him.

The beats of his heart relaxes when the guards escort him to the car. He takes of the sunglasses off his face, as he gets inside the car. He looks younger and better without them, his eyes reflecting an unmounted passion of love and longing. He was going to see her after such a long time.

Tara...

He realizes that love is only intensified by absence. Instructing the driver about his destination to which the driver gives him a quizzical look but silently agrees, he turns on the radio, and tries to relax the blockade in his head.

It was the time to fulfil his promise. To let go.

It's not a long drive, but to Virat, it feels like forever. Forever his heart has been igniting in the fire of hope, that it has begin to hurt now. He begins to reminisce all the memories of her which had unfolded in the last five years, and they're almost so tangible that he can feel them digging and clawing right through his skin - the bittersweet memories.

When they reach his destination, he doesn't say anything to the driver because that might end up with him in tears. He doesn't want to cry while going for the sake of fulfiling his promise to Tara - who had made him what he was today. A man made of stars and diamonds and gold.

The walk to the hospital ward is excruciating painful for him. At every step, he feels a dagger being stabbed right through his feet, and he's at the edge of crying. When he reaches the door, he sees that the room is empty - maybe her dad had decided to leave them alone so that he could get the closure.

His eyes begin to moisten when he realizes it's just him and her. Nothing else in the world matters, just like it was three years ago. He's scared to walk closer to her, scared that he might wake her up before breaking her... before letting her go. But eventually, he forcefully drags his feet across the floor to take a seat beside her. He sits down beside her, on the bed, and gathers all the courage to look at her.

The stars residing in her eyes aren't visible right now just the way he had left her, nothing had really changed in her. He wants to forget the memories of the past three years and wants to be selfish and remember the good ones. When they were in love - in the car, in the party, on the hot air balloon, under the blanket of the night sky.

When they were in love and everywhere.

Now they are in love but she's nowhere.

A pang of guilt floods through him when he realizes he is being utterly selfish. Because even if the heart which is beating in Tara is artificial, she's somewhere alive. And he still hopes that she might wake up and hug him and kiss him.

But then her words hit her like a hurricane.

He almost wants to laugh when he remembers her words: only you can let me go. And then, her words from the same hospital years ago: even my death is yours.

It makes sense to him now when he thinks about it. Three years ago - when he was going to propose Tara and he finds out she had fallen unconscious or the time when he finds out she had another astrocytoma or the time when she falls prey to septic shock during her operation; her words had never made sense to her until now.

He had to let her go.

As a matter of fact, he knew he couldn't wait that longer. Wait until she could swim across a frozen ocean. No one could wait that long.

He had to let her go.

"Hey Tara," his eyes rivet her face so painfully that he closes his eyes and lets a tear roll down his cheek. Closing his eyes makes him feel better - for he can now imagine Tara's smiling face and shiny eyes which makes him forget the pain of his heart momentarily. "I know it's been three months since I came here. But I promise you, I'm not going to bore you this time with the dressing room gossip. This time it's going to be different... and important."

He sighs. "You know, my life feels incomplete without you. After every series I know, I've to see your face before I go home, you know? See you attached in these chords and the life supporting system."

He rubs away the beads of sweat formed on his forehead and drags in a forceful breath. "But it almost feels toxic, you know? To feel that I cannot even breath without you. But I know I've to breathe without you. I've no choice left. That's why I've made a decision. The decision of letting you go. For our betterment."

"I don't think it's going to be any better without you alive... considering that I think of you at nights when I watch the stars. I hear your voice, feel your lips on mine, hear the crack of your laughter at my poor jokes, feel your hands around mine."

He opens his eyes, trying to find a sign of Tara anywhere but frowns when he doesn't. "I don't know if it's right or wrong. I'd talked to your dad about it. He had agreed to it because he had lost all his hopes. I don't blame him for this though. Even I lose hope at the crack of the dawn and I have to refuel all the hope the next day so that I can face you."

He can feel the tears flowing in torrents but he doesn't bother to brush them away. "I've never told you this but the thing which hurts me the most is to see your stoic face. You - in a way - had spoiled me with your dazzling smile and sparkling eyes and it hurts me so much to not see them when you're around."

"None of us thought that this was going to end this way. In a tragedy which will bring us down, with you not around to save me. Can you please save me?" he asks in vain as he kisses her lips once again in a hope that she wakes up from her long, long, long sleep. When he pulls away, he lets out a dry chuckle. "I know this isn't some fairytale. But I wish it was... I wish magic existed."

"I'm so sorry for letting you go. You must know that it's not simple and easy for me either to let you go but I've to. And I want to tell you this - maybe for the last time - but I love you, Tara Dobriyal. I have loved, love and will always love you. And no matter how old I grow, my heart will always remember you, my heart only belongs to you. and it will never stop loving you. I just want you to know that." he kisses her again, this time the kiss holding a greater meaning. That it was beyond infinity, beyond forever, beyond the moon and the stars.

It was the place and time where and when they could meet... again.

His heart paces at an excruciatingly fast pace when he calls the doctor. Virat's hand is held by Tara's dad's hand when the doctor puts off the ventilator machine. When Tara breathes her last, Virat can hear the unsaid words escaping from her, "I love you... forever."

And that's how he bids off her a goodbye in a hope that he meets her again in another lifetime.

When Virat gets inside the car and asks the driver to head towards his home, he remembers the piece of paper kept in his pocket. The paper which he had opened several times but never read - because he had promised that he will open it only when she leaves him, and he lets her go.

Now was the time.

Dear starkissed wayfinder,

If you haven't realized - before I met you, I was a breathless wanderer. But now I owe you my every single breathe to you.

You know when it started? The first time you entered my life and saved me from falling from that cliff. I swear I had never seen death so near me ever.

There has always been an unspoken understanding between us after that I don't know if it makes any sense, but you always knew what was going in the back of my mind, and I always knew what was going in yours. Maybe that's the beauty of love.

You know I've always wanted to be a novelist, and maybe that's why I wrote a story on a website about a girl who's suffering from luekemia. I had promised my readers on the website that the girl will have a happy ending, and I kept the promise. But I'm not sure if I will be able to keep this one. And if you're reading this, then the answer is certainly not, and I'm so sorry about it.

You know what? I've just realized that our story is A Lot Like Moon & Stars... You're my moon, Virat. And maybe I'm your star. The star which turned into a supernova and has disappeared into the thin air. I'm so sorry about it. I couldn't keep up with you, and I've left you in the hollowness of the dark night.

I don't know how to feel honestly, you know? There's this jumble in my chest that I can't even begin to understand? I don't know how to make you feel knowing that you're probably broken after my death... but I want you to know that no one can be irrepairably broken, Virat. Not even you. Because I maybe a star which has disappeared but there are millions of stars in the night sky, Virat. And there's one for you, which will be your constant - your forever and always. Which will never leave you alone.

So here's my last wish... my ultimate one. Find that star, Virat. Try to find your polaris instead of crying your eyes out in my memories. Because trust me all I want is your happiness. Don't think it's selfish to fall in love again. Because your heart is too big, Virat. And I'm happy with a small part of it. Which will always remember me, which will always love me, and I want that part of your heart to remember me in your happiness.

Call me selfish, bitch, whatever. I don't give a flying fuck about it. I just want you to remember me in your happiness, I've already given you enough reasons to cry. Don't make me feel guiltier than this.

So I just want to say that I'm okay if you're okay. I'm happy if you're happy. And I hope you're going to be okay and happy, Virat.

With love, Tara.

Virat closes the flap of the letter and rests his against the car's headrest. "I will try to keep you happy." he promises, like he has promised a thounsand times.

And he really hopes he keeps it like he had - a thousand times before.

Fin.