xviii. 

P O L A R I S (constant)

As the operation proceeds, I realize every moment is passing away like glass - slow and transparent. It takes forever for the neon red bulb to put off, and the doctor to come outside to tell that the operation is over, and that the operation is successful.

But I know Tara has to come back to me, eventually. I sometimes wonder if this readiness and expectation and optimism is preventing the miracle from happen. But when the bulb puts off, I only pray that the miracle has happened. 

"She's fine." Jatin smiles at me, giving me a nudge on the shoulder. 

"Uncle, you should meet her first." I smile at Tara's dad, who nods at me with tears of happiness rolling down his cheeks.

"I'm so happy, I can't believe this. actually happened!" I say to Jatin in excitement. He purses his lips into a thin line, giving me a forced smile. "Why don't you look happy?" I frown.

"Because - uh - Virat, the cancer can return," he tells me hesitantly, running the nape of his neck in anxiety, "Maybe in two, three years but eventually it would, in a more fatal way because it's genetical. We cannot terminate Tara's oncogenes. But yeah, she's fine, for now."

"For now." I repeat. "She's fine right now. Live in the now." I just breathe out a relaxed sigh at the confirmation.

•••

Ten minutes later, Uncle comes out with a huge smile across the width of his face. I give hima hug, and then, strut towards the door silently. When I open the it, I can see Tara. My Tara - laying on the bed with her big doe eyes following me with an ache of longing mounted.

"You kept your promise," I speak out my words in joy as I take a seat beside her. "I knew you would - I don't know the reason though." I slide my hand over to hers, interwining our fingers.

Tara lifts it gently, and presses her lips against my nuckles. "I wanted to wake up to say how much I love you. I didn't say you that before because I wanted to tell you this after the operation. I love you, Virat Kohli. You're my first strength, it's only because of you that I could get through this tedious operation. Your love for me gave me strength. I love you, I love you, I love you!"

"Really? You're telling this me now?" I ask her, rolling my eyes. "And what if something would've happened to you during the operation? You would've left me loveless and lonely?" I ask, a frown covering the lower width of my face.

Tara chuckles at my expression and pinches the bridge of my nose, "Doesn't suit the most loved man of this planet talking about being loveless and lonely. And anyway, in that case, I'd already written this letter for you to read," she says, taking out the letter from the drawer of the bedpost. "For you to know how much I loved you. You can know it even after my death."

I grab the letter from her hands in a nanosecond to read, but Tara stops me from doing so, "No Virat. Only after I die... We don't have to sugarcoat my situation. I know that my cure isn't permanent. This would return again.  In a more brutal way."

I shake my head, keeping the letter inside the pocket of my blazer. "Did you forget what you taught me a while ago? I'm happy with you, even if the happiness is for extremely short time."

"Are you sure, Virat? Because it's hard to leave, but it's even harder to be left behind. I don't want you to go through the same pain my father went through. All that matters to me right now is your happiness."

I peck her lips softly and reply, "Do I look sad to you in any way?"

"No but -"

"No buts. As long as you keep yourself alive through this, I'm happy. And even if you don't, I'll find you in the next lifetime." 

"Okay," she chuckles softly. "God, why do I love you so much to believe in this?"

"Because I love you endlessly. My life is yours, I am yours, Tara."

"And my death is yours," she tells me, her eyes slightly moistening. "A really bad way to say I love you, isn't it?"

Some questions really don't have answer. 

How could she love me so much that she could swim across a frozen ocean? Why did we meet and I saved her multipe times? Does destiny really exists? Was it game played by our fates? Does destiny and fate really have the power to make two parallel lines meet? And how the moon loves the star so much that they are constant to each other? 

But the answers to them really not matter to me as I'd fallen for a girl who had tilted my universe off its axis with her love. She made me leave the abyss behind, and she makes me the happy when her arms softly press around me for a hug... as though forever.