iii.

S I R I U S » the companion

It's like Euthanasia.

Seeing your loved one dying in front of you is like Euthanasia. You're silently killing yourself in a battle which has already been lost. It's exactly like suffering from something which is incurable.

When my dad died, I didn't cry at how everything could end in a split-second. I didn't cry; not because I was some Punjabi guy who wasn't allowed to cry, but somewhere deep inside my heart, I knew that he wouldn't like seeing me cry.

Dealing with his death made me brave and coward at the same time. Brave enough to face this ruthless world all alone, but so coward that I couldn't see anyone close to my heart dying. So when I got the news that my best friend had died in a car accident, I didn't even attend his funeral. Just because I was scared. To see the eyes which always lit up would be closed forever. To see how the body I would playfully smack would be burnt to ashes. To be not able to hear the sound of his cackle at my jokes which would make my bones crack and leave me in a ravenous shell.

And on the night, when my mom was hospitalized for high blood pressure, I had to beg in front of God - in literal sense - that I had no intention of becoming acquainted with the habit of counting the number of people leaving me in this world, and shifting to another world. That I wanted the people around me to be happy and most importantly... alive.

But my emotions curling into a ball with only the facade of being rude and aggressive on the exterior made people call me heartless. They started saying that my heart was made from solid granite and not flesh.

But granite cracks, breaks, shatters after a huge blow.

While flesh doesn't.

Whatever my heart is made of, I always know that if this would happen again, it would constrict in my chest. So much that I would experience every single ounce of pain and feel numb at the same time.

I am glad that I hadn't visited hospitals - the bloodiest buildings of all - for over two years.

The feeling of 'one moment here, the other moment gone' was chasing behind me at an incredibly rapid pace when Tara was about to die in front of me. The coward side of me - so strong and insistent on the matter to not see another death made me strong enough to become capable of protecting her. The logic is simple and strikes me like a thunderclap.

Before I could drown to the bottom of my gut wrenching thoughts, I hear screams from the forest side at the side of the road. Screams which were so agonizingly painful that it could slice your heart. It doesn't matter if it is made of granite, those screams could cut deep down into your skin right to your heart.

I halt my car on the side of the road, and hop outside it to check who the scream belonged to. But before I could find out, they stop abruptly making me retreat back to my car.

Mulling over the thought of the source of the noise, I drive away not knowing that the cause of the scream is deeply connected to my very own thoughts.

•••

"Sorry Sir, but there's a landslide ahead. This road has been blocked." The officer says, and my eyes snap to his sharply.

"But my hotel is on the other side of the city... how am I suppose to go there?" I ask sharply.

"Well, there is accommodation available in this part of the city if that's only what you want." he says, turning back to halt another car which was coming in his direction. "And I would advise you to not drive because the roads are too slippery and unsafe."

I raise an eyebrow at him even though he couldn't see me as I had over-sized glasses covering most of my face. "You mean, I am supposed to walk the entire way back, and also - find an accommodation in this bone chilling weather." I retort sarcastically, rolling my eyes at him.

"That's me speaking for your safety. I'm not going to force you, but you must know that accidents are very common in this part of the city." My teeth chatters at the sound of his voice and the bitter cold, but he still looks unaffected by the cold - like he could easily be disposed off to Antarctica and still he could survive there with no qualms whatsoever.

I shake my head, and allow the chugging voice of the engine to fill my ears. "I'm going to be alright, don't worry." I smile at him and take a sharp U-turn.

But my world was about to crash.

•••

My car crashes against a tree.

The fog laced in the air had made it so difficult for me to see what lies in the surrounding, and I don't even realize when my car crashes against a tree.

I bury my face in my hands, and stay inside the tethered car for a while, listening to the echoing and deafening silence of my surroundings. Snapping my head up, I glance at the darkish mood of the place where I am stuck. The entire place is etched in charcoal, a small lake near the edge of the woods.The headlights are shattered, my phone's battery is dead, and there is only darkness that engulfs me along with the forests covering the roads, and the sound of the crickets is the only thing which greets my ears.

This place has probably been bereft of the human civilization for the longest time one could fathom. Because there's no light. And darkness makes me feel lonely. I sigh as I step out of my car. I kick against the door of it to let out my frustration.

And yet I cannot do anything about the silence and the darkness and the loneliness here because I -

Finally, the silence and my chain of repulsive thoughts break through - by the approaching footsteps and shallow breaths of a person. The slightest trace of human civilization seems as beautiful as the moonlight cascading on the surface of water to my eyes.

"Are you okay?" her voice cracks. It's so coarse, and her throat feels so raw that I am sure she can barely swallow anything. Her fragile hand brushes softly against mine. Her dry skin feels like my hands are actually hitting against paper.

She was asking about my whereabouts but she, herself didn't sound okay at all.

"Are you okay?" I ask instead, concern lingering in my voice.

"We have to try and search the light," she urges, wrapping her arms around mine and pulling me towards the road.

I roll my eyes at her. "How much stupid do you think I am?" I ask, retracting my hand away from her grasp.

I hear an exasperated snort in response, "A lot, if you ask me." This girl is already insufferable... just like Tara.

Hold on... why am I thinking about Tara?

And hold on again... why isn't the girl babbling now?

"You there Miss. Lost-Ghost?" I ask, stretching my hands in the air to grab a hold of her hand. I feel nothing but air as I do that. As I take a step forward, I feel someone's slap on the back of my head and kick on my thighs.

"I am not a ghost. You can call me angel," she huffs in response, and holds me by my wrist and walks ahead.

I cackle at my own joke, "Hey Angel."

"Do you know the reasons why we look upto the sky?" she begins to sing the lyrics of Hey Angel, the One Direction song.

"To look at the stars and how they shine for us." I reply to her question. It already feels like I've been walking miles with her, since forever.

"By the way, don't you think it's a little spooky unusual. Like we barely know each other, and here we are walking together in the dark," she speaks up, tightening her grip around my hand. My arm already feels sore due to her iron-grip.

"I know right, Miss. Lost-Ghost. I mean you could most definitely be a kidnapper or a murderer or even a vampire." I chortle, relaxing a little under her grip.

"Yeah right," she speaks and raises her eyebrows. At least her tone says that. We walk a little ahead when the street light a couple of meters ahead of us flickers and illuminates the area.

"The street lights have finally been switched on," the girl sighs, while I sprint towards the street light to come out of this state of complete oblivion. "Now I can finally see whether I'm walking with a werewolf or a fucking cactus because you have a lot of hair and your face needs a shave badly."

Rolling my eyes, I blink my eyes a couple of times, then sigh, "Thank goodness they switched on the lights. I had started to think I had lost my vision. This was so -"

Tara.

People who read novels from the romance genre know that when you actually feel different or special while you talk to, or simply look at the person you're going to be romantically involved with in the near future. And there's a connection, a very deep connection that tends you to meet that person again and again and again.

I never believed in this crap.

I was walking, holding hands in the dark with Tara all the time.

"What are you doing here?" I ask her, my eyes widening as I glance at her. "Hold on, are you stalking me?"

"Yeah. I actually have nothing to do except for stalking you, right?" She retorts, sarcasm dripping in each and every word of hers.

"Alright, I was just kidding. Anyway, what were you doing in the jungle? That too in the dark? And were you the one shouting your lungs out in the forest?" I ask, then inhale a sharp breath to fill my lungs with air again. Tara looks at me in astonishment.

"What? No! Why would I scream in the jungle in the middle of the night? I was just with my friend for a party. That's it," she replies calculatedly, then shrugs her shoulder.

I sigh, catching onto the absurdity in her answer, "Then where's your ride?"

Tara breaks into a sheepish smile, and scratches her forehead as she speaks, "I was too bold to accept his offer for a ride, so I started walking in the hope to catch a bus, and somehow ended up getting lost in the jungle."

I frown slightly as she turns around. "You're so stupid. Aren't you a resident of Dehradun?" I ask nonchalantly.

"No. Remember I came here for my suckumantary?" she reminds me, and I slowly nod, recollecting her words from last week.

Finally, she turns around to look at me, rubbing the bridge of her nose. I see her face looking pale. "You look so pale, Tara. You really need to take rest." I say, taking a closer look at her face. Her face looks a white version of cornified paper. "I can drop you." I offer with a small smile.

Tara looks at me in an instant. Her lips part slightly as she purses them into a thin line, thinking deeply. I cannot quite fathom, what exactly she was thinking, so I stare at her curiously.

"Tara, I just offered you help, not a fucking calculus problem to solve." I chuckle upon her continued silence.

Meeting my gaze, she smirks a little, then voices out, "Drop me how? With that shack of a car?"

I chuckle again, running a hand through my hair, eventually turning them into an absolute mess and grin at her, "I mean I can walk you to your place like a gentleman which I am."

She looks at me thoughtfully, then her lips curl into a playful sarcastic smile. "Sure you can bud, my house is around five miles away."

I groan in frustration, "We can take a lift then. And stop with your stupid sarcasm."

"No because a wise man had once sad... sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt."

•••

"Try, try but don't cry. Lift, lift, just in a bit. It sounds so fit, let's take a lift!" It is the thirteenth time I hear this annoying poem by Tara. Trust me, if I hear this piece of crap again, I am going to strangle someone to death.

My face morphs into its most pained expression as I say, "Will you please stop that?" This only makes Tara sing the entire piece again at an accelerated pace.

"Try, try but don't cry. Lift, lift, just in a bit. It sounds so fit, let's take a lift!"

"Okay Tara, I get it. I get that you want a lift miserably, and even I want to get rid you badly." I sigh, covering both my ears. I hit my leg against the lamppost in frustration. Now when people would ask me what exactly is salvation, my only answer would be getting riddance from Tara Dobriyal is salvation. Period.

"Looks like the entire city is busy today." Tara mutters when suddenly a bright headlight hits my face, causing me to scrunch my eyes. I cock my head a little to look at the car. It's no less than a comet to me at the moment because of its rare sight.

The driver decides to pay us mercy as he halts the car in front of us. "Do you need some help?" The driver who was an old man asks us, a smile gracing his lips.

Tara shakes her head and shoots him a glare. "No, we are bloody vampires here; asking you if you're ready to get the final kiss of death," Tara mutters innocently, then turns her head to the other side.

I would've surely joined in her sarcasm, if my gaze wouldn't have befallen on the object which he was driving. I reel back slightly, my mouth agape. "What the hell is this?" I ask, pointing out af that little piece of unidentified driving object that carries no long and distant relationship with normal cars.

Before the old man can answer, Tara beats it to him. "It's a horse cart, doofus. Just that the horses of the cart have been replaced by an engine, only if there's one," she mutters, looking elsewhere.

The old man glares at us, and blows out in anger. I instantly take charge, and look at him apologetically. "Please don't mind Sir. We really, really, really need help." I speak politely, passing him a smile. From the corner of my eyes, I see Tara flashing me an amused smile.

"This is utterly disgraceful, you ask me to drive you, and then you make fun of my baby," the man snarls at us, fixing the 16th century model of glasses on his nose.

"More like granny." Tara mutters, rolling her eyes at him.

I glare at her, before returning my gaze back to the old man. "We duly apologize for our mistake, Sir." I say in a high pitched tone to muffle Tara's sarcastic remarks, and flash him a series of pretentious smiles.

"Speak for yourself." Tara comments airily. Thankfully, the old man hasn't heard her remark.

I slowly saunter towards Tara, and whisper in her ear in a lowered voice, "Do you really wish to spend your entire night on the road?" Her eyes flickers brightly, and she shakes her head in a coy manner, her lower lip pushed out, forming an adorable pout. "Then stop with your fucking sarcasm, and better follow my lead."

"It's around five miles away Sir." I begin, and Tara explains him all the places where he is supposed to take a turn. After explaining him all the directions like a walking and talking GPS, she breathes out an exasperated sigh.

The driver smirks at us, "Sorry kids. I am going the other way. Besides my car has no space for two." My mouth is left agape as I look at the man warily.

He just didn't say that.

I supress the urge to punch him on the face, and knock him down on the ground. Forcing out a smile, I grit through my teeth. "Then why did you even stop?"

"I was genuinely concerned for you two," he replies. I somehow manage to retain the smile on my face.

"Okay listen, mister. If you don't disappear from here in less than five seconds, your little piece will be awarded the Guinness World Record of the most cursed and smeared and kicked car in the history of carkind." I warn, glaring at the man. He whizzes past us, and drives away in no time.

"That was weird." Tara says thoughtfully. "I actually thought he would, you know, run his car with his legs like they showed in 'The Flintstones Series'." she says, furrowing her eyebrows together as she looks in my direction.

I facepalm myself at what she has been thinking about is only an animated series. While I think that I am in the streets all alone, surrounded by forests in the bitter cold, ready to be eaten by animals; there's also someone screaming their lungs out in the night, and most importantly, I'm stuck with this epitome of... insanity.

In short, I'm fucked.