
Chapter 9 : Holding On & Letting Go
A/N : So yes, hello there, a double update day it is today! There are two reasons for it! Firstly, because you love this story so much, I feel like sharing it more. Secondly, this chapter that I am updating, is more of a transition chapter to a whole new phase in the story!
Plus I feel, if all you readers are waiting eagerly for an update each day and one day's update is just a transition chapter, I'd be letting you down! So as promised there will one hell of a new chapter tomorrow again :D
But count this as an extra cookie from me - for being so awesome!
Happy Reading!
Much love,
A.
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Anurag woke up as the bright sunlight fell on his face, slowly raised his hands to flex his muscles; from the sunlight peeping from behind the curtain, it seemed like a bright sunny day. He smiled. He was feeling good, there was something very positive about this day – but wait, where was he? He realised his head was resting on someone's lap and he was on a couch.
"Prerna" he uttered softly, as he carefully sat up on the couch. His neck felt a bit stiff, and he slowly massaged it as he turned around to look at Prerna – she was sleeping in her sitting position on the couch, her head was rolled back. Anurag stared at her, there was a small smile on his face – he was feeling content for some reason. He recollected the incident from the last night, he realised he must have dozed off while hugging her and she had sat through the night letting him sleep. He knew it must have been uncomfortable for her but she did it anyway – for him – Anurag couldn't help feel warm at this, the assurance that someone truly has your back can be really overwhelming – and today if there was one thing he knew for sure, it was this – no matter what Prerna will be there for him and he would be there for her.
He wanted to be there for her, that's why he had come last night, and he did manage to throttle her demons last night – but he was curious –Prerna hadn't really been able to say much about her past but he needed to know – if only he could pull it out of her, she'd be free too, like him, how he was feeling right now – after such a long time, a euphoric morning. But he knew he couldn't bring it up before Prerna again, he saw the consequences last night – maybe Nivi? Did she know something from Anupam? Well he had made himself very clear the night before that he didn't approve Anupam, why would he help him now? Plus Nivi and Anupam didn't even know about his and Prerna's 'thing' – but he wasn't sure, not after what Nivi had said last night.
Flashback:
Anurag was talking to Prerna on the phone and explaining how Anupam didn't deserve Nivi, they were having a spat and Prerna had hung up on him; Anurag was livid, how did Prerna not get what he was saying, and maybe he did cross the line with the 'why are you not married and happy' bit but he did apologise, why was she over reacting? Anurag tossed the phone onto his bed in frustration as he ran his hand through his hair and turned around. That's it, he wasn't going to talk to Prerna till she comes around, he had said out loud in anger.
"I don't think you should have said that to her bhai" Anurag looked up to see Nivi standing at the door to his room.
"What?" he asked confused.
"I came here to talk to you about Anupam, I wanted you to give him a chance. But then I accidentally overheard your and Prerna's conversation. It's good in a way, I now know exactly how strongly you feel against Anupam – but that can wait. I meant you shouldn't have commented about Prerna's love-life that way – you have no idea how big a deal it is for her – she has taken years to overcome her past" spoke Nivi firmly, Anurag looked further perplexed, although his anger was subsiding now, curiosity got the better of him.
"What do you mean Nivi?" he responded.
"Anurag, from what Anupam told me; Prerna has had some really bad experiences in life and although she's overcome it, she could really never close that book completely – it has to do with a certain relationship of hers' and she's fiercely sensitive about it. Today you pricked her right there, from what Anupam told me, I fear she will spiral and go to the deep end – please call her and fix this" replied Nivi calmly and was about to leave when Anurag called her.
"Nivi, do you know about Prerna and me?" he asked cautiously.
"Yes, Anupam told me; bhai, I also happen to know about Mishka and you" Nivi's response was cold and slightly judgemental, Anurag felt embarrassed, but Nivi didn't push further, she had left.
That was when Anurag had figured he needed to talk to Prerna, but she wouldn't receive his call, worry turned to panic turned to fear of her wellbeing, that's when Anurag had turned up at her doorstep last night, and thank God for that, he thought.
"Prerna" he whispered gently near her ear caressing her face, she moved a little in her sleep. Anurag smiled, she looked peaceful in her sleep, gone were the anguish in her face from last night; maybe he should let her sleep some more, but then he noticed the odd posture in which she was sleeping, it was bound to give her a body ache, no she needed to be in bed.
"Come on Prerna, wake up. Go to bed and sleep, get up from the couch" he gently coaxed her and Prerna slowly woke up. She opened her eyes to see the towering figure of Anurag over her, she widened her eyes in shock and to her surprise found him laughing out loud seeing her expression. Prerna smiled as flashes from the night before came back to her.
"You should always laugh from the heart Anurag, it suits you" she whispered; Anurag smiled. "Acha stop hitting on me early in the morning, and get up and go to bed and catch up on some more sleep. I have to go now, urgent business to attend"
Prerna smiled as she got up from the couch, "No, no more sleep, my Saturday's are working, remember? Also what urgent meeting do you have? You don't work on Saturdays" she asked while stretching he back.
"Not work, I got to meet Nivi and tell her that I want to meet her and Anupam together for lunch" he replied while texting someone on the phone.
"Oh come on Anurag, not that again, let Nivi be, not everyone has a complicated life Anurag, can't you just let her be happy? Besides Anupam is a nice guy, I know him for more than a decade, trust me" she whined, clearly irritated.
"I want to believe that, hence I want to meet them. You know Prerna, I thought about it, yes I think everyone deserves a chance, and to be fair to Nivi I don't want to deny Anupam that chance" he said quietly.
As Anurag left that morning, Prerna quietly saw him leave, from what he said last night, she wasn't sure how he reached the conclusion to give Anupam a chance – until the time he dozed off, he was making his point how he was against them, how love was unreal, then suddenly why the change of heart in the morning, she wondered – but for Anupam's sake she was happy.
Anurag was driving home, she had texted Nivi about the lunch plan and she had readily confirmed; true Anurag was still against her deadly foolish plan but he was going to have to give Anupam a fair chance, unless he extended a hand to understand them, why would Anupam help him – and he needed the help – Anupam was the only person who could throw light on Prerna's past – who was this guy, what had he done so severe – how did Prerna of all people break?
***
Anurag was sitting by the pool at home, it was night time, his day hadn't gone as he expected. His lunch with Nivi and Anupam didn't go as he had expected at all; there wasn't much he could reprimand Anupam about, he was like Prerna had mentioned – open, honest, goofy and vulnerable – he was simple and although Anurag hated it, there was something lovable about him – he seemed to genuinely care for Nivi and most importantly, Nivi was radiant around him; maybe it was a leap of fate Nivi was taking, and most likely it will end badly, but there was nothing categorically wrong with Anupam that he could point towards and stop Nivi, hence by the end of lunch he realised, he'd have to accept and respect Nivi's decision – as Prerna had said, ultimately it was her life.
He had also tried pulling out some information about Prerna's past after he had approved him and they had hugged and made up – but when it came to Prerna, Anurag could see that Anupam was very protective, he had clearly told him just one thing.
"Anurag I know what is going on between the two of you, Pri never hides anything from me. But why do you want to dig in deep into her life when all this is a fling? Since you are going to be family, I will tell you this, whatever you do, Anurag, please don't ever bring up Prerna's past before her – you have no idea how big a damage that can inflict on her – under no circumstances, okay? Please, it is a request" Anurag could only nod to that, how was he going to explain to Anupam the nature of his and Prerna's dynamics, yes he was right, in a fling this didn't matter, but hadn't they decided to not label their 'thing' so it wasn't a 'fling' either, whatever their 'thing' was there he was allowed to overstep this boundary – but who'd get it? Also, despite he didn't give out any further information on Prerna, his defensive behaviour towards her won Anurag over a little more – Anupam wasn't a bad guy, he thought as a small smile of approval played in his lips.
Anurag was reeling through how to garner further information about Prerna's past – he wanted her to smile, from the heart – how he smiled today in the morning, without a worry in the world – if he could come out of his dark place, he wouldn't let Prerna stay their longer, but how – Anupam was his only hope. He didn't know any other common point of contacts with Prerna anyway, but his trail of thoughts was broken with the ringing of his phone – he glanced at the phone screen and it flashed, "Mishka". Anurag shut his eyes in exasperation, as it is his day couldn't deliver on all the positivity it promised in the morning, now her. Mishka had completely escaped his mind since the night he left from hers' it had been more than three weeks now – strange, that also meant it had been only about three weeks that he had known Prerna properly if he didn't count the first meeting at Nivi's birthday which would then add another two weeks on it – but point was, with Prerna, his bond was so organic that in such a short span, he felt like he had known her for years – he jerked back to reality at the continuous ringing of his phone, he reluctantly received it.
- Hey Mish
- Hi baby, chalo at least you remember my name
- Come on, I was very busy; you must have heard right? the news?
- Yes, I did. I am so sorry baby; I thought of reaching out, but I figured you'd need some space, so I thought I'd let you call me.
Anurag smiled at this, this was why Mishka and he worked; she never overstepped her boundaries. She knew where she stood in his life, and she was okay being there, she didn't push it.
- Thanks Mish, truly appreciate that
- But then you didn't call baby, not even today, so I thought maybe I should call
Mishka sounded low, what was today wondered Anurag; he quickly checked the date on his calendar – shit it was Mishka's birthday, but not anymore, it was past midnight now. Anurag shut his eyes in dismay and went back on the call.
- Gosh Mishka, I am so sorry, I missed it; I was so pre occupied with..with things..
- I understand, Anurag
Mishka sounded disappointed; Anurag didn't blame her, she had as usual no clue of his escapades, and she never expected much from him anyway, he had to at least wish her if not be with her on her birthday – whatever said and done, technically she was still his girlfriend.
- No you shouldn't understand Mish. I am really sorry and wish you a very happy and slightly belated birthday.
- Thanks baby, I'm just happy to hear your voice after so long
- No, that shouldn't be all, Mish please let me make it up to you. Will you go out for drinks with me tomorrow evening?
- Really Anurag? Yes of course! Thank you!!
- Please don't thank me Mish, see you tomorrow!
- I love you baby, see you tomorrow.
Anurag hung up the call; in their relationship, Mishka had said that she loved him numerous times, knowing fully well that he didn't reciprocate to it; she said it anyway and he didn't care – but today it bothered him, he wondered why – it felt like a responsibility – to be loved, to be cared for – especially when you didn't reciprocate to it. He didn't feel obligated and responsible when Prerna showed him care, because he reciprocated, the scales where balanced – but Mishka? Anurag sat contemplating, should he let her go? Well even if he had to, tomorrow wasn't going to be that day – so he could park this thought for later.
He picked up his phone again and was debating whether to call Prerna or not, he knew she'd expect him to tell her how the lunch date with Nivi and Anupam went – probably Anupam must have filled her in, but he knew she'd be keen to hear his take. He tried calling her, but phone was busy, he tried a couple of times more, but it was still busy – must be Anupam, he muttered to himself and left her a text message instead.
[Hey, just so you know, I approved Anupam ;) ]
Immediately he received a response;
[Haha, cocky much? hang on, I will call back in fifteen; talking to Anupam, I need all the deets :D ]
A smiled played up his lips, as he realised just how he could end this day in a positive note; he quickly texted back.
[Fifteen minutes huh? I will reach you by then, See you. Oh, and save me some food, I haven't had dinner yet]
***
Prerna was pre-heating the oven; she had quickly prepared a dish of vegetables after reading his text, while talking to Anupam. She just had to add cheese and bake it now – it would be baked while they chatted, and she decided to serve that with some bread and wine when he came. Prerna had had salad for dinner, she was sure if she had offered that to Anurag, he'd make a face; she laughed imagining that face.
- Pri, Anurag hangs out with you often like this?
- Meaning?
- As in suddenly turning up at your doorstep in the middle of the night?
- Why do you ask Anupam?
- Because, this doesn't look very 'flingy' to me Pri
- Oh shut up, now that you're about to be engaged you see the world through your love struck lens, and he doesn't do this often – to answer your question – woh toh, I was bickering about how'd your lunch go and he decided to come by and chill and tell me in deets that's all.
That wasn't exactly true, Prerna wasn't fond of lying to Anupam, but somehow the times Anurag had come to her apartment, all of them were under such emotionally intense circumstances that, it fell too personal to share – in a way she was right, indeed this was the first time he was coming to visit her in a fling like way. Prerna smiled when she heard the doorbell ring in another ten minutes; she quickly hung up her call with Anupam and went to get the door.
There he was at the door, for once not worried or bothered, he wasn't his uber-cool self either, like how she met him at Nivi's birthday – she realised he had loosened up before her now, he was looking happier in fact he had a very Anupam-like goofy smile on him as he entered her apartment today – Prerna smiled.
"Aah I smell good food!" he exclaimed rubbing his palms together.
"Yes, it will be ready in ten mins" replied Prerna as she led him to the couch and settled in the settee opposite.
"So, how did Anupam manage to impress you Mr. Basu?"
"What impress, he is too dumb to ever hurt Nivi, hence I approved" he responded rolling his eyes, but Prerna didn't miss his hidden smile.
"Seriously? You approved my best friend for your sister because he is dumb?" she laughed.
"Why else would I?" he asked now fidgeting with the coasters lying on the coffee table before him.
"Umm..I don't know, may be because you realised he's a nice guy?"
"Hmm.. yes that too"
"How did you figure that?" Prerna asked him casually
"Well, he seemed to care for Nivi, he remembered that she doesn't like olives on her pizza"
"Hein? You approved a guy for your sister because he remembered she doesn't like olives in her pizza? #LAME Anurag!!" laughed Prerna
"It's a guy thing, you won't get it, you're too dumb" at this Prerna rolled her eyes. Then she ushered him to her dining space and served him food. Anurag's face lit up, he was famished and the food smelt inviting; he took a bite of it while Prerna poured wine for both of them. Anurag took a bite of the food and stuck his tongue out.
"What, something wrong?" Prerna asked surprised, this was an easy recipe she had tried a bunch of times, she couldn't have gone wrong with it.
"It's veg Prerna!!" he exclaimed.
"Of course!" Prerna replied reasonably.
"Uh, I am Bengali!" Anurag said with a 'are you serious?' face
"And I am 'suddh desi shakahari' Mr. Bengali Babu" came her reply with a naughty smile. Anurag made a face and pretended to be annoyed as he dug into his food.
"By the way, Anupam seems very protective of you, shows how caring he is of his loved ones'" he chipped in while eating.
"Is that why you approved of him?" Prerna asked softly.
"Maybe" to this Prerna smiled secretly, so this was how Anupam had won Anurag over – smart move, bestie, she thought to herself.
After his dinner, Anurag lazily hung around with her, they chatted, laughed, discussed the impending engagement and had a good time; with him time seemed to fly thought Prerna when she finally looked at the time.
"Anurag! It's 3am in the morning!! Go home and let me also sleep" she exclaimed loudly in surprise.
"What go home, I had wine, you want me to drink and drive? Very irresponsible Prerna!" he mocked her.
"Accha? You just want a reason to crash at my place every other night, why don't you move in only?" she gave back with equal sass.
"Oh you want me to! That's why you fed me wine! What's on your mind Prerna?" he replied with a smirk.
"Shut up!! Sleep here on the couch, I am off to bed" she called out behind her and made her way across the room, but Anurag caught her by the waist. He looked at her with mischief in his eyes, Prerna knew that look only too well.
"Couch huh?" he asked in a low husky voice
"What's your alternative?" she asked with a seductive smile.
"I don't know, maybe the bed room" he spoke and pecked her lip causally. Prerna smiled, "Bedroom it is then!"
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Word Count : 3322
Well, how does this one look like? The stage is set for a lot to happen in the next couple of chapters! Stay tuned and keep telling me what you think of my fiction!
<3
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