My heart was definitely on my mouth..

What should I do now?

Should I say yes?

Should I say no?

I kept the mobile on my hands and was baffling within..

The screen got locked by itself and I wasn't even aware of it..

I was jumbled inside..

Confused..

I really really didn't know how to react when my dreams were becoming so real in front of me..

By then, Pavi came down..

Enna di thoongalaya nee innum?, She was surprised..

Gladly, my screen was black and she didn't notice the mobile..

Illa Pavi.. Adhu vandhu..

I was thinking of all the lame reasons to tell her..

Sari thoongu, she said and went as she thought that Iam sleepy because I was constantly blinking and rubbing my eyes..

I switched off the data without replying anything and slept off..

I might have felt contented inside..

So, I nodded off very easily..

The train reached Chennai the next morning..

We got down and went to the hostel..

She again slept off complaining that the train was dancing for the whole night and it caused her body ache..

I informed my parents and switched on the data..

Ting..

Ting..

2 new messages from Rajesh..

I opened it..

I know that you won't reply for this text.. I didn't expect too.. But I want to convey my feelings for you.. I don't want to miss you again.. Take your own time and reply me back for this.. Until then, we can be in the same relationship what we are in now.. I won't disturb you until you come up with this topic..

I think you slept off.. Good night.. Take care and come soon.. Miss you..

After those texts, he didn't come online it seems..

I ignored the previous texts and sent him, Hi, Good Morning, Just now reached hostel.. Feeling sleepy.. Shall text you later..

And slept off really..

**

2 days passed by and I couldn't refrain myself from letting him know that my heart craves for him actually..

My heart started pumping faster every time when I get a text from him even if it's random..

The college was about to open on the next day..

The night was drizzling with the water drops straight from the heaven..

Pavi was in the room and I was sitting in the corridor with my mobile..

Rajesh texted me, Madam, enna panreenga?

Nothing..Chumma apdiye.., I replied back..

He was asking random stuffs which were so typical like saptiya, enna panra, oorla time epdi pochu because the main content was left untouched..

And then there was a silence in our texts..

He texted, Mulla, Naan sonnadha yosichu paathiya?

I didn't know what made me to send, I love you too.. I just don't have the courage to open up as you did.. But, I love you..

And yeah, we fell in love with each other..

This time..

I couldn't hide this from Pavi for a long time..

I told her after a week..

She fought with me..

Definitely she did..

Expected thing..

I sat, explained her the changes in him..

I explained our love to her..

She stared at me..

Inga paaru Mulla.. Ipavum solren.. Nee edutha mudivu sariya, thappa, idhellam enakku theriyala.. But, I love you.. Yerkanave kashta patta..

Again unna neeye kashtapaduthikaadha.. Avlo dhan enakku.. I want you to be happy..

Mathapadi if you say that you are happy with Rajesh, Iam fine with it even if I don't have any good opinion on him..

But, it doesn't matter..
And, epo, endha issue naalum, please enkitta sollu, share pannu.. And, believe me, I won't suggest breakup.. she said with a wink..

I had tears and hugged her..

The next 12 months were the best ever time in my life..

Each and every nano second of life was filled with amour..

We didn't talk, text all through the day but, we definitely made sure that we had spent quality time while being together..

And definitely, I should say something here..

He was not a very possessive kind of boyfriend..

He was never one..

I can give you people literally one thousand examples right now..

Girls, my friends who were in a toxic relationship..

Those typical boyfriends who didn't even allow them to go to canteen alone, not letting them talk to their parents, not letting them wear whatever they want to,fighting with them for talking with other men be it even classmates, using mobile after chatting/talking to them in the night, the list goes on..

I always felt that these girls were literally being isolated and made as dependents over their so called boyfriends as they lose everyone else at one fine point of time in life because of their sick and perverted mentalities..

I was sooo lucky..

He never interfered in my personal space.. I was myself and that was the most important thing which made me to fall for him all over again everytime and made me proud about my relationship..As long as we tried to spend time together, we never let anyone to disturb us.. That was enough for us..

And, the surprising factor was even Pavi was okay with our relationship.. She was the one who first wished for our 1st year love anniversary by midnight 12.. I was like flying in the sky..I knew that she accepted everything including Rajesh for my sake.. She loved me.. She loves me.. She will love me..

Since, Me, Pavi and Nisha has a group in whatsapp, we shared her too way back and she was nothing lesser than Pavi at first..

But yeah, definitely, she wished me good luck because she loves me and nothing else could be the reason..

For the first year celebration, Rajesh had asked me to come out..

He had asked me to come out for a whole day and all.. He had kept the plan as suspense as well.. I was initially bit hesitant but, I went for him..

When he took his car the next day, I went with the thrill.. We went to 'Continental Hotel'.. I didn't know why he brought me there.. Once we entered the party hall, the flowers were being showered, the balloons were flying and the cake was kept in the hall with the backdrop saying, 'I love you babe.. Be with me forever'..

My eyes were brimming with tears.. We did cut the cake.. After some time, we were sitting in the private room he had booked for us near the sea.. The french window was very beautiful.. I was watching the whole beach through the window and he hugged me from the back..

Probably our first hug.. I turned back and hugged him.. His hands started caressing my hair..

Happy ah irukiya? Unakku idhellam pidichidha? He asked..

I nodded yes..

I love you di, he whispered..

I kissed his chest..

Then..

Then..

I didn't know how it happened..

May be my cravings for him..

May be his love for me..

May be the celebrations..

May be whatever..

I still don't know how it happened..

We both were together as one physically and mentally..

He was way too gentle as I was bit afraid even though I was the one who initiated by placing kisses all over him..

He was waiting for my consent even after removing his tshirt..

It wasn't that painful as I heard.. I was definitely charged mentally and sexually..

I was so happy that I went to heaven for a whole day and we were back to the hostel by 7PM just to get heartbreaks..

-Will brew..