The breakup didn't happen easily..

How am I supposed to leave him while I have Pavi and my parents with me..

When the semester holidays were over and the reopening date came closer, appa started again..

Enna ma..Andha paiyan ta pesniya..

Amma was like, Adhan annaike avan sanda pottutu , ipa kalyanam laam panna mudiyaadhu nu theliva sollitaane..

Innum enna pesa poreenga..

Iva padichu engineer aava nu paatha, love, mannaangatti nu izhuthutu vandhu  nikkiraa..

Enna panradhu nu onnum purila nga enakku..

Ipa ivala anga anupi vechuttu idhukku mela enna aagumo nu vayathula neruppa kattitu iruka mudiyaadhu nga ennala..

Appa stopped her.. Adhukkaga veetla vechikka mudiyumaa.. Ellarum yen paadhila padippa niruthi kalyanamum pannaama veetla vechirkeenga nu kepaanga..

Thavira andha paiyan venave venaam nu sollalaye..

Ipo mudiyaadhu nu dhana sonnaan?

Iva padikira padi padikkattum..

Aana andha paiyana marupadiyum kooptu pesanum..

Rendu perum anga paakradho, pesradho koodaadhu..

Andha kaaviya kaadhal unmaiya irundha kaathutu irukattum..

Avan sonna 2 varusham..

Apram paapom..

I interrupted him..

Avan enakku venaam pa..

There was a silence..

Amma asked.. Enna sonna ipa..

Enakku..

Avan venaam ma..

She slapped me..

I knew..

I knew it..

She lost her patience which she was holding for a long time..

Enna velayaadriya nee..

Un ishtathukku oora suthitu irundha..

Enna nu kettaa love panren na..

Endha veetla sari paravalla nu andha paiyana kooptu vechu pesraanga nu therila..

Pesi sari pannuvom nu paatha venaam ndra..

Deep inside myself, the kit with two lines was flashing..

I really didn't know how am I going to tell them..

I was constantly warmongering inside my head between telling them and not to tell them..

That slap from amma made me to rethink the arbitration of telling them..

Of course, I was not in the state of getting more slaps..

I was unwell..

Mentally..

Physically..

So, I kept mum..

Appa was yelling on the other side..

Fluff was mine..

I wanted to talk to Rajesh about the issue..

Again..

I really didn't know how things will go if I give thumbs down to the idea of aborting the child..

My head was spinning..

When I felt like I might burst out of what's happening inside me, Pavi entered the house..

She wasn't aware of all the unholy mess..

She knew that I was abnormal and silent..

She thought it was because of Athai..

When she came home, amma told her about my decision and asked her to advice me..

She had no clue of what happened..

She took me to Athai's room and asked me what happened..

I was calm initially..

She asked me again..

Enna dhaan di aachu.. Adhan veetla okay sollitanga la.. Innum enna issue unakku..

Ellam nallapadiya mudiyum nu paatha nee loosu maadhiri venaam na enna artham..

Adhirchi la moola pesagi pochaa unakku.., she was fuming..

We initially thought that convincing my parents would be the toughest job..

We had our hope on Athai only..

So when they agreed, Pavi expected me to be happy irrespective of the absence of Athai..

Pavi...I was stumbling..

Solli thola enna nu, she barked literally..

Naan pregnant ah iruken nu nenaikren..I mustered up my courage and told her..

Enna.. Enna sonna.. 🙄🙄 She wanted to double check her hearing ability I guess..

I didn't look into her eyes..

I didn't have that courage...

I said, Naan pregnant ah iruken Pavi in a dry voice..

And, I couldn't hear anything post that..

She slapped me hard..

I knew..

She would be angry..

But..

I couldn't refrain myself from telling her..

Mental ah poitiya Mulla nee, the fuming words came out..

Illa Pavi.. Anniversary celebration ku pona annaiku..

Unkitta solla varadhukkulla athai ku odambu sari illa nu appa sonnaru..

Plus..

Exams..

Naane marandhuten..

Ipo 1 week munnadi test pannapo dhan therinjudhu..

Shit, she hit her forehead and sat next to me..

Mulla, veetla sollitiya..

No, I just nodded my head..

Ipa enna panna pora..

Therila, I again nodded my head..

Rajesh ta sollitiya..

Hmm...

Enna sonnaan?

Abortion panna solraan..

What the..

Enna di idhu..

Enakku therila Pavi.. Indha issue kaaga pesrapo dhan naan periya thappu panniteno nu thonuthu.. Abortion panren, illa..

Adha vida periya issue indha baby form aanadhukku avanukku dhan mukkiya pangu ndradha avan purinjikkitta maariye therila enakku..

Commitments ku bayapadra maari kaatikraan.. Aana, adhu dhan unmaiya nu enakku therila..

Naan ipdiye engayachum oru Ashramathula kozhandhaiyoda poi join pannidalam nu iruken Pavi..

Anga edhachum vela senju apdiye pullaiya valathukren..

Podhum di ennala veetla irukavanga romba kashtapadraanga...

Anniku veetuku avan vandhapavum romba pesitaan..

Ipo idhu vishayama pesrapavum apdi dhan pesraan..

Idhoda seriousness avanuku purila..

Puriya vaikira nelamailayum naan illa..

I just want to go somewhere..

I started sobbing...

The tears were rolling and drenching my tops..

Pavi hugged me and tried to pacify me..

I knew well that the burden was shifted to her..

Me, Pavi and Rajesh were the only three persons who knew the baby thing..

I was stressed..

Pavi was double stressed..

I wonder how Rajesh kept calm..

Being a sole responsibility for every mishap that was happening, how could someone maintain their sanity?

He alone knows !!

*****

Post that incident of taking Anu's mobile and seeing those chats and an abhorrent week, I took a decision..

I decided to talk to her..

I really wanted to know what she wanted from me..

All these days, she stayed at home as if she was staying in some hostel..

She didn't even do a small work..

I didn't expect her to do all the works as my Annis did..

But when you stay in a place, when you enjoy eating (She had 10000 complaints about the food and the menu.. That's a different story though), when others do something for you, they will expect you to do atleast some basic things by helping them..

Eventhough Dhanam anni and Meena anni didn't expect anything, amma was worried..

She was pissed and that was right too..

She used to be on her phone all through the day..

I wasn't even respected as a person..

So, I thought of talking to her..

When I went back to home, she wasn't there..

The home was silent..

Dhanam anni told me that she went to mama's house..

I went and sat next to amma..

Amma was abnormal..

She was very much annoyed..

I asked her what happened..

Enna da ava paatuku irukaa.. Poraa.. Varaa..

Epo paathalum phone dhan..

Ipo kooda avanga amma ku odambu sari illa pola..

Car ah anupi ivala kootitu poirkaanga..

Amma ku odambu sari illana poganum, paakanum, seiyanum.. Thappe illa..

Aana sollanuma illaya..

Iva paatuku yeri poitaa..yaartayum oru vaartha kooda sollala..

Naanga laam manushanga dhan Kathiru..

Sari chinna ponnu chinna ponnu nu naanum amaidhiya iruken..

Onnu indha veetla engaloda otti vaazha mudinja ava inga irukattum..

Illana ava angaye irukattum.. Neeyum poi angaye iru..

Sani, nyaayiru unnala mudinja, ava unna vitta, nee inga vandhu engala paathutu po..

Adhu podhum..

Chumma adha vittutu, hostel la thangura maari oru porula kooda apdi ipdi nagathama irundha mathavanga ivalukku ellam senju tharanuma?

She spilled out everything..

I nodded my head and came out..

I was standing near the well..

Dhanam anni tapped me..

Anni..

Athai pesnadha laam manasula vechikaadha kathir..

Ava periya edathu ponnu..

Time aana ellam sariya poidum..

Engala pathi laam nee kavala padadha..

Unkitta nallapadiya irukaa la..

Adhoda vidu..

Ipo sapda vaa...

I went along with her..

Anu didn't call/text me..

She didn't even inform me..

After one more week, Mama called me and asked me to come over there..

I could sense some anxiety in his voice and went..

Just to hear one news..

I badly wanted to talk with my own life..

I wanted to convey that I want only the persecutions that I can swallow..

Those troubles chiselled me as a person today.. I am strong enough to handle any kind of agony..

Because everytime when I got over something, life threw another one, which was more tormenting than the last ache..

I wanted to shout that I need some time to heal first before sending new series of suffering..

I wanted to study - Didn't happen..

I wanted my appa- Didn't happen..

I wanted Mullai- Didn't happen..

I wanted to keep Anu happy - Didn't happen..

All I wanted was a peaceful life which never happened to me..

Will I come out of the new squeaker??

-Will brew ☕

****

The next update will be based on the response..Thanks for understanding..