Hello all! It's one day before a full month so let's say I totally did not forget about this! I've been running around like a headless chicken for the last month, I swear. School also just started and hopefully that won't cause any delays. I'm also in the school musical and other clubs and 3 jobs so like... if I suddenly disappear, it means I'm over working myself, not that I have died. Unless I am currently a ghost. But who knows. Anywayyyy... Enjoy the chapter!

Warning: Remus. Lack of sensitivity. You know. Remus. Plotting a robbery. Stealing a door. Remus. Just... just Remus. Oh and gay. And Remus.

Remus
Bonnie put down the diary. “Oooooo murdered boy murdered boy murdered boy murdered boy” I sang, smiling. “I love learning about murdered boys. I also think he totally should have screwed Fred.” She rolled her eyes, smiling.

“Of course you do.”

“Oh come on, you could totally tell this Janus kid was digging him. He taught him how to read and they should have made out in that tree. Aw man! I wish they made out and then he described it in the diary!” I complained. 

“You are odd.”

“No wayyyyy. I never would have guessed.”

“I know, it’s shocking. But somehow you will accept this.” She pat my head that was still lodged in the door. I paused, a shadow catching my eyes.

“Who’s that?” I motioned with my head. Bonnie turned, looking at the small figure curled up in the corner. She shrugged and walked over. The person had a bowler hat on and a dramatic black shawl thing. I began to attempting to yank my head out of the door but quickly gave up. 

“Are you okay…?” Bonnie hesitantly asked, voice growing higher at the end of the question. The figure didn’t respond. She looked back at me and shrugged before turning back to the figure, “Uh… I’m Bronwen. And you are?” She tried again. They still didn’t reply. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

“I’M THE STRIPPER REMUS AND I LIKE WEARING DOORS, YOUR TURN.” The tiny child jumped and looked up. I met eyes with a half snake face yellow eyed gremlin. Oh. I like this one. I’m adopting them. “WHAT ARE YOUR PRONOUNS SAD SNAKE CHILD?”

They looked down at their hands, an expression of shock crossed their face. They quickly schooled their features. “They/them.” 

I cackled, “A NON BINARY GREMLIN, I LOVE ALL OF YOU. YOU ARE MY CHILD NOW.”

Bonnie looked at me, “No faiiiiiiir,” She wined, “I wanted to be the mother.”

“Fine we’re married. A poly relationship between you, orange, and me with snake child as our child.”

“I supposseeeeee” she dragged out.

“There is no pleasing you, is there?”

“Of course there is! But not from you, no.” She winked.

The child rolled their eyes and stood up. “You’re so smol. How old are you.” They looked me with a flat expression.

“173,” I laughed. 

“And I’m 326. Wanna hang out with us? We could be a trio of chaos!” They squinted.

“Why would I want to do that?”

“What else do you have planned?” They were silent. “Just what I thought. Let’s go!” I tried to pull myself out of the door again. Bonnie sighed and walked back over. “Wait! I have a plan!” I took the steak knife out of my pocket and handed it to Bonnie. “Cut off the hinges!” 

“Ah, genius!” She sliced off one hinge at a time. The gremlin was still staring at me.

“Why do you have that on you?” They carefully asked.

“Who doesn’t carry around a pocket steak knife?”

“Normal people,” I laughed at the child's suggestion. Imagine being this 'normal'. I'd rather be burnt alive by millions of tiny torches by fire ants to sacrifice me to their fire god, Zuko.

“Done,” Bonnie handed me back the knife and I sheathed it before plopping it into my pocket. I tore away from the wall, much to the child’s horror. 

“Oh I love this look,” I admired myself in the mirror, the door looking much like the ruffles on an ancient gown. It matched matched speedo perfectly. Gorgeous. The gremlin looked at me horrified.

“That… Was my door.”

“Oh, it was? Whoops. It’s okay, we can fix it later. Come on!” I grabbed onto the sides of the door and stood up. I squeezed through the halls and made it downstairs. Bonnie followed after me with the gremlin.

“We do not question the ways of Remus,” She told them. I noticed that they were looking at the journal in Bonnie’s hand. She didn’t notice this and put the book in her backpack. The small child didn’t say anything. I squeezed through the front door. 

“WANNA GO TO WALMART?” I grinned back at them, almost wacking Bonnie’s head off. She barely ducked in time, the small child ducked too but they didn’t need to. They weren’t tall enough to be smitten by my fabulous outfit. I feel like the door really shows off my bright green crocks.

Bonnie laughed, “I’m up for it.” We turned towards the shorter one. 

“I’m just here to get my door back.” They glanced at Bonnie and I could have sworn they looked at her bag, but they looked back at the door, squinting at me. 

“WALMART IT IS!” I sang. We began walking down the street, heading to the store.

We got half way there before I got sick of the silence, “We need a group name.”

“Hmmm” Bonnie hummed, “How about Chaos Bringers?”

“Too straight forward. How about Kool Kids Klub! The KKK!” I recommended with a grin. “Since that’s on our minds!” The tiny one froze, their eyes hardening.

“Don’t joke about that.” They spat. I shrugged, unaffected by the murderous tone to their voice.

“Fine, fine,” I waved off, “Hmmm…”

A moment of silence passed before the short one spoke up, “How about the dark sides?” A grin grew on my face.

“Ooooo it’s mysterious and implies people have evil sides and we choose to embrace ours. I love it.” Bonnie nodded in agreement. It’s decided. We will be known as the dark sides and all others will fear us. I looked to Bonnie, “Oh! We should tell my husband! Can you send me the number?” I turned to the kid. “What’s your number? You came up with the idea, after all kiddy.”

“First off, I’m not a kid, I’m..” They seemed to pause, thinking. “I’m 16.” I blinked in surprise.

“But you’re so smol.” They shot a glare at me.

“That doesn’t matter.”

“Imma still call you my child.” They scoffed.

“Second of all, I don’t have a ‘number’.” 

“You’re 16 and you don’t have a phone? Huh. Your parents are weird.”

“My parents are dead.” My eyebrows shot up.

“That’s unfortunate.”

“Uh huh.”

“Welp. We can get you a phone here.” We walked up to the Walmart. I noticed Bonnie was waving her arm like a snake, feeling the wind blow against her arm. I snickered, realizing she hasn’t been paying attention. I pulled out my phone and found the contact, then added Orange to my contact. I created a group chat. “Why doesn’t it have a name-” I gasped loudly. Bonnie looked over and the gremlin was squinting. “HE HAS A SAMSUNG! GOSH GOLLY GOAT GUTTED GREMLIN GIDGET!” I cried. Bowler hat snickered and a sense of pride filled me. I shook my head and turned to Bonnie.

“We’re stealing a phone.” She nodded.

“Alright. What’s the plan?”

“Ummmm…” the small one squinted, thinking to themself.

“If you cause a distraction, I can get it.” They finally said. My eyes shone.

“Oh I love making distractions,” I looked to Bonnie, “Wanna help me?” 

She grinned, “Gladly.”

1300 Words

Hey yall! I hope you enjoyed the chapter! And I hope not too many of you are mad at the whole Janus coming up with the name and not Roman. Tisnt accurate, but tis glorious in my opinion. It's getting late and I gotta go to bed so this won't be very long. Just remember that I care about you and that you should stay awesome. Not that it'll be very hard, yall do it with ease. Also what did you guys think about the new Sandersides video with the plushies? I like the little Remus hand coming in to Roman's room. I wonder if the dark sides will be bitter about not getting anything. No jam, no tiny figures, no stuffed animals. I hope that's brought up in a video cause that could cause some funny lines from Deceit. Like "It's fine, I suppose I didn't want them anyway." Logan: "Uh huh-" "YOU GUYS DIDNT EVEN ASK IF I LIKED JAM. FOR THE SUPPOSED 'LIGHT SIDES', YOU'RE PRETTY INCONSIDERATE AND SELFISH". You know, glorious chaos.

Anyway, that's all for now! Take it easy sisters, brothers, and non binary others! Peace!

💖Maybay4