September 4th

Drew returned from his morning of rounds, scrubbed his hands in the water basin, and walked to the field behind the house, in search of Nora.

She was lying in the grass, gazing up at the sky. He stood for a moment, watching her take it all in and tried to see what she was seeing in the world there.

Only since Nora had arrived had Drew let himself notice his surroundings more. The river was polluted but much of the land was paradoxically green and lush. The hill behind the house sloped softly toward the riverbank, vivid with bursts of yellow and purple wildflowers. The long row of houses was punctuated every ten yards or so by a stone shower, a well, or a small bench.

A stand of trees shaded Nora's lower body, speckling her legs with shadows and the undulating movement of the leaves in the wind. Drew imagined drawing his hand up her shin, over her thigh to her hips. He imagined crawling over her, sucking at the sweetest skin at the hollow of her throat.

She smiled when she saw him lean into the beam of sun in her face.

“It's so amazing here,” she breathed, lowering her hand from where it had shielded her eyes. “I can't get over how different everything is.”

He moved to lie down next to her and she took his hand. Drew brought her fingers to his lips, inhaling and kissing her fingers.

“I missed you,” he whispered.

She hummed in response, and he could hear her smile in the sound. She looked so comfortable here, even thousands of miles from her home, her garden, her familiar life.

“What did you do this morning?” she asked.

“The usual,” he said, stretching beside her. “Visited each home. Gave meds—mostly pain meds at this point. I'll go back after lunch and make sure everyone is still eating and drinking from their safe boxes.”

She turned towards him, brow furrowed. “Are they still eating food from the field?”

Drew shrugged. “This village is many generations old. It's hard to tell them that it's not enough to wash or boil the food. It's very hard for them to understand that their land is poisoned, that what they are growing is toxic all the way through. That's a very painful reality for people who’ve lived off this land and chosen to stay here. If I don't make sure they're eating from the safe food, they just go back to what they know: growing what they eat.”

She looked back up at the sky and Drew could see her mind working. Her brown eyes grew darker in her thoughts; her fingers clenched and unclenched his.

“Ask,” he murmured. “Anything.”

She smiled and rolled to kiss him.

“I mean it,” he said with a smile against her lips.

“I know,” she whispered, kissing his nose. “So, why are you only giving pain medication? I guess I figured these types of things—your trips, I mean—dealt more with outbreaks and, like . . .” She closed her eyes, trying to remember something. “Like the movie, Outbreak.” She winced, looking at him and laughing a little at what she perceived to be her naiveté.

Drew kissed her flushed cheek before propping his head up on a hand to lean over her. “I do sometimes focus on infectious disease,” he admitted. “But our goal is rarely to contain outbreaks. That kind of thing is usually left to the larger government agencies. Health Relief International does non-profit work. What we do is more out-reach. Getting to the places that don't have resources. Providing care for places just like this.”

“I love hearing you talk about it,” she murmured. “We never really talked about our jobs before.”

He nodded and leaned to kiss her. “Okay, well, let's see . . . Sometimes we help a local population learn how to treat their water and food to prevent infection. Sometimes we go to a disaster area and do acute triage. Sometimes we deal with parasitic infections.”

“Do you come here a lot?”

“I've never been here for work. China doesn't usually bring in many foreign aid workers. The HRI people here are nationals.” Drew realized there was really more to her question and added, “I usually go to Africa or Haiti.”

“Is this job how you met Tommy?”

He shook his head. “We met in medical school. He worked at Mass General for a while but ended up coming back to China and through my connections he started coordinating HRI efforts here. Even though I don't often work in China, I came here this time because Tommy needed help. This village is close to where he grew up and it has been largely left for dead. He was burned out. He's always known that I could come at a moment's notice and he's taken too much on by himself.”

She considered this. “How do we do this?”

Drew knew exactly what she meant, how his reference to being available at a moment's notice triggered this conversation. His answer was swift because he had spent so much time thinking about this in the past weeks. “I’ve changed my paperwork to require more notice. I won't go away for as long. From here on out, we’ll make our life together, we’ll travel together sometimes, and I fit this in around all of that, not the other way around.” He looked over at her. “I could never do six months away from you. Even one was hard. I think we’ll figure it out as we go.”

“I like that,” she whispered. He leaned to kiss her and it lingered, heating. Drew closed his eyes, losing himself in her parting lips, her soft tongue, escaping everything else for just a few seconds.

She ran her hand down his face and cupped his cheek. When he opened his eyes, she was looking intently at him. “You seem sad here sometimes. Are you always sad in the field?”

He shook his head. “No. Never. I feel alive when I'm working.”

“What's different about this assignment?”

“It's more than just being away from you, though that's part of it. I don't feel like I'm making a difference here because no one will get better. I’m going to lose patients. The pollution reaches everything, and no one who is sick here is going to make it. Many of them refuse symptomatic treatment, and it makes me feel useless.”

“So, everyone has… cancer?” she asked tentatively.

Drew nodded. “Mostly leukemia.”

“Do you give them chemo?”

He shook his head.

Her face registered what this meant, that this was care giving and not lifesaving.

“That's so depressing.”

With a tight exhale, Drew agreed, “I know.”

Her eyes were bottomless and tears pricked in the corners. “Why do you do it?”

He saw the pain and concern on her face. Drew tried to calm her, squeezing her hand. “Someone has to. I don't mind death. I just mind suffering.”

She sucked in a breath and looked at him with an expression he couldn't decipher.

“What?” he asked.

“You're so strong.”

Drew laughed; Nora’s observation was entirely incongruous with his current self-image. “I don't feel very strong. I feel very selfish all of a sudden.”

“How so?”

He considered how to answer, finally deciding on simple: “I just want to be with you, but I don't want you to stay here. So, in a sense, I don't want to be here either.”

Her eyes narrowed. She meant to look insulted, but it came off a little like a kitten brandishing a bat. “What do you mean, you don't want me here?”

“I don't like the idea of you being exposed to any of this.”

Nodding, Nora said, “It's sad, but there is something so liberating about just facing the stark reality. Seeing you doing something to help is . . . a relief. I can handle it. I want to be with you, to support you however I can.”

Drew shook his head. “That isn't just what I mean. Being exposed to what is happening may be good for you on a global awareness level, yes, but not being exposed to this land, this water, this . . . toxic area.” He ran his thumb back and forth over the soft skin near the crook of her elbow.

“Oh,” she whispered and her face fell slightly. Everything about her felt delicate, so tender. Unconsciously, he lifted his arm, sliding his flattened hand down across her breasts, coming to rest on her abdomen.

“Nora, it's more than just cancer. Nearly all the women from this village became infertile. You're too young, too…” He shook his head, unable to continue. You're too important. “I want you. So much. I just don't want you here.”

找到

September 10th

Drew made love to Nora for the last time the morning of her flight. The sun came up as he moved over her, her thighs pressed tightly to his hips, her nails digging into his back, urging him closer, somehow. Deeper. Harder.

He held her face in his hands as he kissed away her tears. She was so brave to have crossed the world to find him, but in the dim light filtering in through the dusty window, Drew could plainly see her fear that he wouldn’t return to her.

“Shhh,” he said against her warm cheeks. He pushed up onto his knees to lean over her more, his body pressing  fully into hers. Her eyes were squeezed closed and Drew whispered her name, wanting her to look at him. He wanted her to know that it would be okay, that he would come home.

“Nora,” he said again. “Baby, look at me.”

Her eyes opened slowly and the love he felt for her nearly crushed him. She drew in a shaky breath and nodded in relieved understanding. He buried his face in his neck, groaning her name.

找到

Drew held her hand as they made the long trip into the city. The roads were rough and slowed their progress, but he found himself wishing the roads were even worse, that their time together wasn't ending. As the sound of pavement under the tires replaced the sound of dirt, he tightened his grip on her hand. He wasn't nearly as strong on the inside as he seemed, and with each mile that passed, Drew felt himself wanting to turn the Jeep around and take her back to the village.

As if sensing the war going on inside him, she spoke: “I planted three kinds of pumpkins this year.” Her head was turned slightly, her eyes on the passing green hills.

He smiled at how easily she took him home.

Home. That word pulled at something inside him as he watched the way the wind moved her dark hair around her face. He'd never felt like he had an actual home before, only a place he kept his drums, the boxed pieces of his past. Home had always been such a broad term used to describe his location at any given moment.

“What are they called?” Drew asked. He wanted to remember, in her voice, the silly names of the things that grew in her garden.

“Green-Striped Cushaw, Buckskin, and Big Moon.” She turned to him with red eyes. “The Big Moon make great Jack-O-Lanterns,” she said, swiping at her eyes before smiling. “They can get really heavy though. I'll need help carrying them into the house to carve.”

He knew what she was saying, what she was asking. Halloween was two months away. She was asking if he would be there.

“I'm coming home in a month,” he said. He held her eyes, needing her to see the truth behind his words.

She looked down at their joined hands and squeezed, her thumb brushing his as she nodded. “Okay.”

Drew kissed the back of her hand and turned back to the road, his thoughts on the decision he had made in the night. He wanted to follow Nora as she boarded her plane today, but he had a responsibility to the people of the village, those still clinging to the hope that their home could be saved. He would stay and see ChangMing taken to the treatment center, and together, Tommy and Drew would do what they could to help the ones who chose to remain.

There was so much to do and Drew knew a month would never be enough time. Five years would probably never be enough. But as he looked down at their joined hands, turning their wrists up to see the words inked into their skin, he knew he had also found what he had to keep with him. He would have to learn to balance his need to be near her with the unending work to be found in the world.

The airport was crowded and Drew held on to her tightly as they walked silently to her gate. She'd only brought one piece of luggage, a canvas duffel that was slung over his shoulder. They stopped in front of a grouping of chairs encircling the boarding area.

Pulling her close, Drew inhaled her scent and tried to memorize the way her body folded itself into his. His lips moved along her throat as her pulse beat wildly beneath his lips. He could feel her retreating a little, could feel her putting space between them—if not physically, at least emotionally. She was so quiet. She hadn’t told him she loved him since she’d melted beneath him at sunrise, coming apart with a sharp cry.

“I love you.” He spoke into her skin.

After a long pause, she whispered, “Me too.” Her voice was tight, a little distant.

Drew closed his eyes, wanting her to give him more than this, but he couldn’t blame her, either. She’d come so far, and he was sending her away. How could she really trust that he would come back until he did?

He held her until they announced her flight, but they both seemed to be out of words.

“I have to go.” Her voice was muffled against his shirt. She sniffed and placed a single kiss on his chest. Even through the thin cotton Drew felt the heat of her lips. He nodded and placed Nora’s bag over her shoulder, taking her face in his hands and pulling her mouth closer.

“I love you,” he said, not wanting to let her go.

“Think of me?” she said, and it was a sweet, broken question. Her brown eyes were enormous, wide and anxious.

As if he hadn’t thought of her every second before she came to him.

“I will. I won’t be able to stop,” he swore.

With one last, tiny kiss she pulled away and walked quickly down the jet way.

He watched her leave. Drew’s stomach turned and his chest ached as she moved farther and farther away. His fingers burned to touch her again, to stop her, to reach out and keep her there.

One month.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. Reluctantly, Drew pulled his eyes from her, surprised by the sound he hadn't heard in weeks.

36 Messages Sent

He stared down in shock, skimming through a month’s worth of his unsent texts.

[7/17/13 02:25:04 PM] I've arrived safely. There are no green zebras here. What's for dinner?

[7/20/13 11:16:36 AM] Thinking of you as I tuck into lunch. What are you doing, I wonder?

[7/24/13 08:10:43 PM] It is strange to see the sun set and not be sitting with you.

[7/27/13 03:27:32 PM] I love you Nora. I want you to know I've never said that before.

[7/31/13 11:58:00 PM] I miss your hands and what they did to me.

[8/01/13 10:14:32 AM] How is the garden? All around me are wasted crops. It is a stark contrast to your vivid fruit.

[8/03/13 01:20:38 PM] Struggling every day to understand why I left you to come here.

[8/03/13 04:52:09 AM] I dream of tasting you, of hearing you gasp my name again.

[8/04/13 07:12:33 PM] Are you still cooking for two?

[8/07/13 03:45:21 PM] I'm not sure what I'm doing here. This is so fucking depressing.

[8/09/13 10:23:11 AM] I love you, Nora.

[8/10/13 03:52:09 PM] I think about you all the time.

[8/11/13 05:16:22 PM] I see you everywhere. The river, the grass, the ceiling at night. Do you see me, too?

[8/12/13 02:24:18 AM] I'm so lonely.

[8/15/13 08:24:21 PM] Please tell me you're missing me, too. This is torture.

[8/16/13 10:16:42 AM] You're so beautiful

[8/19/13 03:21:01 AM] I'm desperate without you.

[8/21/13 01:56:23 AM] I know you'll never get these but it's all I have.

Drew looked up to see her stopped on the jet way, her eyes on the phone in her hand. He realized she must have just received them, too.

Lifting her head, she turned to him, their eyes meeting across the crowded expanse.

Nora’s look of understanding took his breath away.

She turned back and sprinted toward him; her body crashed into his with a force he hadn't expected, causing him to stumble back slightly. Her arms gripped him fiercely, her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. She was suddenly everywhere.

“Drew,” she sobbed.

“I told you,” he said, kissing her face, her hair, her lips. “I think of you every second.”

“You'll come back to me in one month.”

“One month,” he promised.

She smiled and it was like the sun breaking through the clouds.

 ****************

挂念= Longing


找到 = Found

THANK YOU everyone for reading!!  We have had so much fun visiting these two. Sweet ending to a sweet, quiet story. But . . . stay tuned, Wild Beautifuls! There's an epilogue coming up, and it is HOT.

xo, Lo & Christina