We couldn't pull either my car or Mary's big van with the Winnebago without a trailer. What we needed was something four wheel drive. After a little shopping we bought an old International Scout. It wasn't the most practical vehicle available, but I loved the thing. We loaded up and headed west.

On the second day of our vacation something happened worth mentioning. It was Friday night and everyone wanted Pizza. Well, Mary wanted Pizza and everyone agreed. There was a Pizza Hut off the interstate so we went there. The Pizza Hut was packed, so we decided to order out and eat in the motor home. Mary went in to order. After ten minutes I stuck my head in the door to check on her. There was one person in front of her so the line didn't look too bad. She said it was a little slow because of telephone orders. I went back outside and sat with the kids. Another ten minutes and I went back in and Mary was still second in line waiting to order. The kids and dad were getting hungry so I spoke to Mary. She explained that the girl was swamped with phones, so Mary still hadn't ordered. I said I would speak to them about taking our orders, but Mary said the guy in front of her already did. The girl apologized but company policy required they take phone orders first. Mary said we should get something else, but I told her to give it a few more minutes and went back outside.

I went to the motor home and got my pocket knife then went to the back of the building. The phone lines were easy to find and simple to cut. I returned the pocket knife then went back into the Pizza Hut. Mary had just placed her order then walked over to me. She said, "Thankfully the phone line went dead so we could..." She stopped in mid-sentence, looking at me accusingly. "What," I said, but couldn't prevent my crooked smile. "They shouldn't have made you wait," I said. My poor wife just shook her head. She knew me too well. She knew I had done something to disable the phones. We never discussed exactly what I had done so she'll learn the details reading this. Mary hated when I did stuff like this. Though I know she'll deny it, I think she secretly approved this one time.

In Texas we stopped for the night at a state campground in the middle of nowhere. Before dark we watched a Cessna land in the grass. The guy opened the door and his dog jumped out. The dog ran to the back of the plane, took a quick leak then jumped back in the plane and they took off into the western sky. I know this is silly to mention, but I thought it was cool. I wanted to be that guy. Flying; free of the ground. Chasing the setting Sun across Texas landing in a random stretch of grass to walk his dog. But I wanted to be me too. I wanted to be in this big slow Winnebago, traveling slowly west with my family. I wanted to be both, but I wanted the family me more.

That night we built a campfire and roasted marshmallows. After a while we put the kids and dog in the motorhome so Mary and I could hold hands and talk while enjoying the fire. It was romantic until our dog barked as if under attack. When I stood up to check the dog the smell hit me followed by something no one wants to see near their camp fire. A skunk. The little guy slowly walked along the side of the motor home as if he didn't have a care in the world. Mary saw me freeze then noticed the skunk. The skunk kept walking and the dog kept barking from inside the Winnebago. I heard Emily trying to quiet the dog. The skunk was now under the Winnebagos door so the dog was going nuts. I could hear him jumping against the door trying to get out. Concerned Emily might open the door I made the mistake of calling to her, told her not to open the door. She couldn't make out what I said so she opened the door to hear better. The dog jumped out and landed on top of the skunk.

It's not easy to describe what happened next. It was funny to everyone but the dog and I. The dog landed on top of the skunk. The skunk did what skunks do and let loose. The dog was soaked with the skunk's spray, and I, standing too close, suffered collateral damage. The dog yapped and cried then tried to return to the safety of the motor home. Emily acted quickly to close the door and prevent that disaster. The terrified dog then ran to me. Too late to do anything else I held the dog and shared his misery. Together we watched the skunk slowly waddle off into the dark. My loving wife abandoned us both. She backed off and pointed at a spot away from the motor home, exiling dog and master. Rough night. Both of us whimpered all night. After a thorough cleaning the next day I was allowed to return to the the motorhome so we could continue on, but the dog had to ride in the Scout. The Scout suffered from the experience.

It was a normal trip until Phoenix. We found a nice campground and stayed a few days. There we worked hard to get the skunk smell out of the Scout. We spent a few days enjoying Phoenix, mostly watching the hot air balloons. There I ran into a guy trying to sell a rifle. Never one to pass up a toy offered at a good price I bought the lever action Marlin 30-30. We were moving on to California so Mary went into a grocery store to stock up on food for the westbound trip. I spent the time with the kids teaching gun safety. I cleaned the gun thoroughly, teaching as I did how to clean a gun and why it was important to do so. Then to teach gun safety I loaded the rifle, explaining that the rifle was safely pointed up and away from everyone. I loaded and unloaded the gun twice, explaining as I went. After unloading the gun the second time I wanted to ensure they understood the concept of never pointing a gun at anyone, so I said, "This gun is empty." To make this point I cycled the lever again to show that no more rounds came out. "Everyone agree that this gun is empty?" "Yes" they sang. "Even though it's empty, we never point it at anyone. Right?" Again they sang "Yes." The hammer was still cocked from ejecting the last round so I pointed this out and said, "Even though the gun is empty I keep it pointed at the roof when I clear it." After saying this I pulled the trigger.

You just can't appreciate how loud a rifle shot is inside a small area like the motor home. Crazy loud. It hurt my eardrums. The shot was so unexpected that it startled me enough to nearly drop the rifle. It was worse for the kids and dog. Mary had reached the Winnebago with two carts full of groceries when she heard the rifle shot. She ran into the motor home to kids crying, dog barking and me standing there holding the rifle looking stupid. She calmed the kids down. I hid the rifle in the closet and told the dog to shut up.

When Mary reached me I said, "It was an accident." I hoped to invoke the rule covering no punishment for accidents. Mary gave me a look that said I was in trouble anyway. She looked up at the ceiling and said, "Have you got something against air conditioners?" I looked up and saw a bullet hole through the center of the roof top air conditioning unit. "What were you doing," she asked. "Teaching the kids gun safety," I answered with a straight face. This got a laugh out of her. "Good job, dad," she said. And it was a good job. The kids got the point. Never believe a gun is empty. I can still say that with a straight face.

After spending $600 for a new air conditioner we were back on the road. I didn't get spanked, but it was a near thing.

Our next stop was a place we'd never heard of called Quartzsite, Arizona, on Interstate 10, about 15 miles from the California border. We were drawn here because the tiny desert town had thousands and thousands of motor homes. Quartzsite had begun as a small gathering of rock hunters and grown to a festival unlike anything I have seen. Back then the place had about a dozen permanent homes, two gas stations, a store, numerous garages and RV service facilities, a bank and a dozen RV parks. The RV parks were no where near big enough to handle the traffic, so like most others, we parked our Winnebago in the desert.

The rare rock dealers were from all over the United States, South America, and other parts of the world. There was also a carnival with all the stuff that comes with it. You could get rides on everything from a helicopter to a real buffalo. I wanted to ride both but never did as there was so much to do there. Mary loved the rocks and all the crafts. She walked the grounds for hours looking at all the stalls. She could have bought anything she wanted but only purchased a few inexpensive pieces of Indian jewelry. There are few times I've seen her as happy as she was there.

The four wheel drive Scout was ideal for exploring the desert. We drove deep into the desert to shoot guns and let the kids drive the Scout. I hunted for the famed sidewinder rattle snake, to catch, not kill. I wanted to impress my wife and children with my snake handling skills, but the sidewinder was an allusive reptile. Mary and Emily were praying I'd not find a rattlesnake to play with. I got the impression they didn't trust me.

We enjoyed Quartzsite so much we stayed for two weeks. One of the more interesting things we encountered on the desert was a caravan of Alaskan's, down for the winter. We spent so much time talking with them that we developed a longing to visit Alaska ourselves. Had it not been so close to winter we would have pointed the Winnebago north and forgot about Disney. Mary was a nomad too. We have always been kindred spirits. We didn't go north, but did save those plans for another day.

When we finally made it to California we setup camp at the Disneyland KOA campground. It cost more than a motel, but was worth the price. We stayed there for two weeks, had a great time at Disney and all the other area spots to enjoy. Mary and I managed to take many long walks at night and enjoyed some much needed time to get to know each other.

It was there that we experienced our first earthquake. We'd just settled down for the night when the motor home shook. Being from Georgia I didn't think "earthquake." I thought a couple of large guys had just climbed up the rear ladder to get to the luggage rack on the roof. In full bad-ass dad protection mode, I grabbed my pistol and ran outside in my boxer shorts. I was halfway up the ladder when I noticed everyone coming out of their campers. An old guy parked close saw me climbing up the Winnebagos ladder in my underwear with pistol in hand and thoughtfully said, "Earthquake." Embarrassing.

Not really wanting to face my neighbors the next day, we took the opportunity to relocate to a KOA near the beach on the south side of the L.A. area. I think it was called Laguna Beach. It was a little high-end for our taste, but the beach was great and we found a wonderful burrito shop located in the corner of a gas station. We got our food there almost every night. Still the best burrito I've ever experienced. We took a day to drive to Mexico. Neither Mary or the kids had never been to Mexico or even out of the country so it was worth the trip. I'd never been to Tijuana, but it was like any other Mexican border town, only much larger. We got lost right away, but we didn't stay long. Most of our Mexican experience was from mobile vendors servicing the mile long line of cars queued up to enter the United States of America.

After that we decided to head home. From fellow nomads in Quartzsite, we heard about the Circus Circus casino campground so decided to make a stop in Las Vegas. Vegas was a place none of us had visited so it was worthy of exploration. Las Vegas turned out to be another adventure.