After the Goodman offer I paid attention to Mary's order to work less and spend more time at home.   After the sacrifice she'd made for me I couldn't refuse her.  We were making lots of money so it was easy to relax a little.  We found a nice house in a quiet neighborhood in the Great Bridge area, found a local church, bought new furniture and set up our home.  For the first time in our marriage we had the money and time to relax and enjoy each other.  I'd always been happy and content with Mary, but this was the first time I remembered being able to relax.

During this time I received an invitation to the grand opening of a customer, a Shell Oil subsidiary.  The Governor of Virginia and a senior Shell Oil VP were going to speak and many important business figures would attend.  I convinced Mary to go with me as "eye candy" so we got a sitter and planed to make a day of it.  That morning when we were getting ready I went into the master bathroom to tie my necktie.  Mary was standing at the sink counter, she wore a slip and bra.  Her hair was already fixed up and she was putting on makeup.  Mary's not into dress up.  I assume she'd wore make up during our marriage, but I don't recall noticing any on her, and I was sure I'd never watched her put any on.  Seeing her like that stopped me.  I stood in the door and just watched her.  She noticed me in the mirror and her reflection smiled at me as she did something with her eyes.  To me, it was the most intimate moment we'd experienced.  I was overwhelmed by her beauty and by her presences.  She was every inch a woman and she was mine.

I went behind my wife and put my arms around her.  She stopped what she was doing and leaned back into me.  We stood like that for several minutes, looking at each other in the mirror, saying nothing.  I think everyone has a favorite frozen moment in life.  This was mine.  When I need to find peace in a storm, I think about that moment.  I see that beautiful woman, a woman full of life and love, a woman who trusts me and loves me without conditions.  My response is the same today as it was then: I can't believe this woman is my wife.  I marvel at how fortunate I am.  And given all I would put her through I have to fight off self-hate over not giving her what she wanted more than anything else:  Me home every night.  That's all she has asked of me.

Despite the pain and loathing that comes with the memory, it's my favorite memory.

A few days after that I surprised my wife with a pair of airline tickets to New York City.  We'd not been able to afford an engagement ring until now, so I wanted to make it an event.  From a woman I'd sat next to on a plane I learned of New York's Diamond District and that it was the best place in the country to buy a diamond ring.  I wanted the best for Mary so we flew from Virginia Beach to New York City.  Neither of us had been to the Big Apple before, so that alone was an experience.  We left the warm summer of Virginia Beach to arrived to the cold winter of New York City.  Since we hadn't thought to bring coats we took a cab to Macy's and shopped for coats, scarves and gloves.  After that we went to the diamond district to buy a rock.

We walked through the center of the diamond district and picked a small shop at random.  Its show room was the size of our kitchen, but bustled with activity.  The owner greeted us and asked how he could serve us.  I explained what we were after, then Mary added her input.  The old man thought for a moment then retrieved a single diamond which he presented in a folded piece of paper.  It was a beautiful stone, but neither of us knew anything about diamonds.  The owner perceived this, so he explained that if we walk down the block in either direction and turn down any of the side streets we would see dozens of signs for appraisers.  He told us to take the diamond, have it appraised, then return and make our decision.  I reached in my pocket but he stopped me.  "I trust you," he said.  So with no collateral and not even knowing our names, we left the small shop with a beautiful one carat diamond.

As we walked I looked for a tail.  I couldn't believe the old guy would simply allow two strangers to walk out of his shop with a diamond, but if someone were following us I couldn't spot them.  Granted this was New York City and not the woods.  At the end of the block we crossed the street and went half way to the next block before selecting an appraiser.  As he'd said, there were numerous ones.  Still not trusting the old diamond merchant who had trusted me, I carefully checked the small paper for a mark that would tell the appraiser either who he was or what he was suppose to tell us, but there was nothing other than blank paper with a diamond in the center. 

The appraiser spent a few minutes studying the stone commented that it was an exceptional diamond with great color, then gave us a written appraisal of its value.  I asked what its wholesale value was.  The appraiser hesitated, then gave me the number.  The wholesale value he estimated was $100 over the guys asking price.  If he was happy making $100 then I was ecstatic.  We returned to the store, made our deal.  Mary was fitted with a ring she chose and walked out of the store with the ring on her finger.  Mary loved the ring.  She'd been so convincing that she didn't care about such "trinkets" that I was surprised by just how excited she was over her ring.  Another lesson learned.  We had dinner in a superb restaurant then flew home and were in our own bed that night.  A long day but a rewarding one.

Somehow I was talked into accepting a contract job with the Department of Defense.  It was an odd job that required knowledge of UNIX and abstract reasoning.  I was never suppose to give details of this job so I wont, but I can say it was interesting.  For two days every week I was flown to Washington, D.C., put in a room at the Hyatt near the Pentagon and worked in a windowless room.  The pay was a fraction of what I made with my other customers, but it was challenging and personally rewarding.  I did this for a year.  Once I convinced Mary to go to DC with me.  We had dinner in a five star restaurant and were served London Broil by the chef.  I embarrassed Mary by asking for ketchup.  The chef looked like he was going to cut my head off with his carving knife so I had to explain that I was kidding.  "Very good, sir" was all he said.  The guy was really mad.  We had fun, but Mary didn't like being away from our children.   Nor did she like my being away from her.  It was the beginning of what would become regular business travel for me.  Something my wife tolerated, but hated.

In our new state of wealth we paid to have Linda and Larry McDivitte fly out for a visit.  Larry was our pastor in Ohio, a good friend and a great man.  They lived on a small farm and didn't get much time away so the week was a treat for them.  Larry and I had spent many days fishing the lakes and rivers of Ohio and Pennsylvania so I treated him to some real fishing.  I chartered a forty-seven foot fishing boat and we spent a wonderful day 200 miles off the coast of North Carolina catching marlin.  Of all the things I have hunted and fished, that was my best experience at either.  Another good day.

Mary liked to take long drives on the weekend.  I think she just liked getting me away from computers and phones (still no cell phones in the world).  Whatever her reasoning, she loved those times so we drove around every weekend.  On one such day we spotted a small airport and stopped to watch the little planes takeoff and land.  While we sat there I remembered the night of my fourth escape, when I'd found the little airplane in a barn.  That night I swore that I'd learn to fly when I could.  I wondered if that were possible.  I told Mary I'd be right back and went into the facility without telling her why.  She told me to hurry because the kids were hungry.  So I walked into the little building and talked to the flight instructor.  Mary saw me again five minutes later as I walked across the tarmac towards a Cessna 152.  When I reached the plane I remembered her and the kids, so I looked back at the car.  Mary was leaning forward in her seat, a look of complete disbelief on her face.  I held up a finger and mouthed, "I'll just be a minute."  She kept watching as I got into the plane and flew away.  It was my first flight instruction and with it I was hooked.  The instructor told me what to do and allowed me to handle the small airplane alone through take-off and flight.  He held the yoke during landing, but other than that I flew the plane.  I loved it.  I had to have one.  When I returned to the car thirty minutes later I had a smile that went all the way around my head.  "The kids are still hungry," Mary said.  Somehow she managed to be excited for me, but I knew I'd messed up.  Fortunately, Mary never stayed mad long.

Life was good.  It was the closest thing to a normal life we had known as a family.

Though I had reduced everyone's hours there were still isolated emergencies that required over-time.  None equaled the time the big construction company's software crashed.  The problem was caused by a complex conflict within the UNIX operating system and new software we had installed.  The results was a catastrophic melt down.  This system was critical to the large company's operations so I had little choice but to call everyone in.  Having lost a guy to a poaching technical recruiter we were down to six programmers, seven with myself.  We all reached the customer's facility by noon.  The owner made it clear: fix it fast, whatever the cost.  Our combined rate was $330 per hour, which meant little to this customer.  What mattered most was his flow of data.  We worked through the day and all the way through the night.  Then we worked part of the next day.  Twenty-nine hours later the problem was repaired and their computer up and running.  Given the severity of the problem fixing it that fast was a major accomplishment, something we were all proud of.  It was with the warm feeling of accomplishment and a job well done that I sent everyone home.

The next day my programmers called and asked me to meet them at one of their homes.  They'd got together for a meeting and now they wanted to talk to me.  From the tone I knew they were upset by the all nighters, so I went to the meeting prepared to hear complaints about too many hours again.  When I got there they all stood together, facing me.  The guy who was the oldest, and by far the best tech of all of us was the designated speaker.  He was the wrong one for this job as his people skills were poor.  He began by outlining their list of demands.  I listened patiently.  When he was done he said that they wouldn't work again until I had agreed in writing to their demands.  None of the issues were negotiable.  I either agreed with all or they walked.

Through this I hadn't said a word, when I did it was a single word.  I said, "No."  The speaker said, "What do you mean no.  You don't have that option."  I said I do have the option.  I told the speaker he was fired.  I asked the rest as a group if they stood by these demands.  They all nodded that they did.  Several did so reluctantly, but they all did.  I said, "You're all fired," then left without another word.

I thought Mary would be furious with me but she was elated.  She agreed with my decision, but most of all she was happy I'd be shed of the demands our growing company had put on me.  As always, Mary didn't care about the money.  She cared only about our family's well being.

I knew I couldn't service all of our customers so I picked two that I was most familiar with and kept them for my self.  The others I called and explained the situation and suggested they hire a specific programmer, the one best matched to their needs.  I gave the company that person's phone number, then called the programmer and made the same suggestion.  In a matter of hours everyone had settled into the new routine.  Ironically this was a better arrangement for everyone.  The customers preferred to have a staff computer guy because it better fit their needs.  The techs had more stability, less hours, and in most cases just as much money.  Mary was happy because she didn't have to share me with our employees.  Surprisingly, this too was a good day.  There were many times I looked back and thought I'd handled this wrong, but in the end it didn't matter.  I couldn't go back and change it so I moved forward.