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Jeno walked through the halls with his head hung low, cheeks pink with what he intended to do today and heart racing rapidly. The unsightly scuff marks along the floor and gross remnants from possible food items made him grimace, but he had always promised himself and his family to get better.

Sometimes, when he was feeling particularly brave, he would leave his desk in a small state of clutter (basically leaving a notebook open and about two pens resting around it) and stare at it. It chewed his soul painfully, but he would never be able to get over this without practicing and putting in effort.

Last night...
The clatter of dishes in the sink as Jeno rinsed them and cleaned them filled the kitchen. The marigold rubber gloves hugging his hands protected his skin from the damaging dish soap and water, which brought a bit of comfort. After all, skipping out on chores due to OCD and leaving them to his family wasn't fair either.

Mark, beside him, dried them off as they were passed to him, sliding them into their correct locations neatly. "So," the ravenette tried, "How's it going?"

"Hm? How's what going?"

"Psh, you're so oblivious. I mean with the guy you like. Jimin? Jaemin?"

"Jaemin."

"Ha, I'll get better with names, I promise."

Jeno smiled fondly, rubbing his sponge over the china plate and scrubbing it well since his problem allowed for no less. "It's still the same, to be honest. He still likes someone else, and I'm still here pining over him...."

"Okay, so by him 'liking someone else', that means he doesn't have a boyfriend yet, right?"

".....No."

"Then pounce, Child! Find him, tell him how you feel, and get it over with. Worst case scenario, he doesn't like you back and friendship is as good as it gets. Or, he could at least decide to try for you, and then you have yourself a dream come true."

"Seriously? Those are the only two scenarios?"

"Seriously."

Jeno hoped they were. His body was burning up from a stressful night of running confessions in his mind over and over. He had gotten three hours of sleep maximum, and the poor boy had chugged two pints of black coffee to stay alive today.

A familiar figure caught his eye, and they entered the male bathrooms in a bit of a hurry.

This is my chance, the ravenette thought, though he wasn't even half as confident as he had hoped to be. The only reason he was even doing this was Mark and his generous support. Only two scenarios. He gives me a chance. He ditches me. Yeah! I've been alone most of my life, so why would it change now?

As he pushed through the heavy door with the metal rusted sign hosting the symbol of a boy on it, it slammed shut behind him, and silence fell over the unhygienic room.

Oh fuck, Jeno whimpered internally, noticing that there was only one other guy in there with him, and that boy being Na Jaemin.

But the younger didn't have that usual bubbly and playful attitude that he typically radiated. In fact, he seemed rather deflated and upset with his red under-eyes that suggested a night of crying, his paler skin from lack of care, and the gut-wrenching messy hair that sliced right through Jeno's nerves.

He swiftly walked over and immediately started fixing him up on impulse. Jaemin barely even reacted to the sudden intrusion of space though, gazing listlessly at the mirrors.

"Oh...." he croaked, tilting his head ever so slightly to view Jeno. "Hey...."

"Hey," the older mumbled, moving from the boy's hair to his uniform and completing the 'perfecting' ritual. "You don't look so good. What's wrong?"

Jaemin couldn't even release the scoff he wanted to. His throat was so raw, but he refused to grant himself a glass of water for fear of the pain subsiding. He didn't want it to go away. "Nothing....."

"Bad night?"

"Mmm, something like that."

Jeno wasn't sure that now was even a good time to admit how he felt. Hell, Jaemin needed a shoulder to rest his head on, not another headache. Yet he wondered if half of this was him telling himself that he didn't want to do it.

It was now or never.

"Listen, Jaemin...." he murmured, lightly holding onto the male's arm and trying to prevent his own voice from stuttering. "I have something I want to tell you. Need to tell you."

"Hmmm, I wonder about that," the bluette narrowed his eyes. Suddenly, Jaemin turned from the mirror to face Jeno and leaned one hand against the sink counter. "Tell me, what is it that's likeable about you?"

The older widened his eyes exponentially, retracting his hand and clutching the ends of his sleeves. "Um.....Pardon?"

"Go on. What are your loveable attributes? It's not a trick question."

What the hell does he even mean? My charming points? Do I even have any? "I.....I don't know."

"Yeah, neither do I."

What? What is going on right now? Is he rejecting me before I ask so that he doesn't have to deal with my confession?.....Isn't that cold? Jeno refused to believe the other would be so heartless though, and decided that he was being paranoid. "Uh, Jaemin. I haven't a romantic bone in my body, so I'm going to be frank and honest with you."

The younger furrowed his brows, not at all ready for what he was about to hear.

"I like you. A lot, actually. As in, love you. I'm really sorry that I somehow fell for you when you've been telling me about Renjun all this time....but I just needed to-"

"You're in love with me?"

Crap! Is he mad? He doesn't look mad....more like confused. Should I continue? "I am."

"You don't like Renjun?"

"......I don't. He's not someone I would typically hold any interest in, no offence."

"Yet he's in fucking love with you of all people! Lee Jeno!"

"You found out?"

"Of course I found out! I'm so irritated! All these years, and he falls for some guy who won't even open his mouth-" he paused, "Wait...."

"Sorry?"

"You said you're in love with me right? You'd do something for me....wouldn't you?"

Where is this going....? "I mean, it depends. I'm not entirely sure-"

"Have sex with me."

Jeno's heart stopped beating for a little moment. His breath hitched and his blood ran cold. It was a horrible deja vu moment from when a certain someone else had asked him for the same thing. No. He didn't just say that.....did he? He's just upset....

"No?" Jaemin's voice returned through the blurriness of temporary white noise. "Is that a 'no'?"

"I mean...." the older gulped, feeling extremely uncomfortable. He didn't find intercourse all that amazing like everyone hyped it up to be. Donghyuck used him for personal gain, and now the guy he really really liked was about to do the same. "O-Okay."

"That's a 'yes' then?"

"Yes. I'll do it." Oh my god, I'm an idiot! He's just upset and in pain, and I've agreed to comfort him the wrong way! This is bad, this is bad, this is bad-

"Come with me after school," Jaemin then whispered against his ear, cupping Jeno's cheeks with his cold hands before pressing a long and suggestive kiss against his lips.

It was Jaemin's first, and it should've been Renjun's. Yet it wasn't. Instead, the ravenette had once again made a terrible choice and screwed up on advice that should've been straightforward.

I'm a slut, Jeno thought as real panic started to set in and the door opened and closed behind him again, leaving him well and truly alone in there. I'm a fucking whore, aren't I? I love him, I really do.....but he shouldn't waste himself like this. I'm not worth his time. Mark was wrong! There weren't only two scenarios!

As he slid down to drop to the floor in a heap, sudden yet understandable sobs suddenly wracked through his body as he imagined the worst.

He would've said 'yes' to sex with Jaemin in any other situation. But not when he was raw from finding out about Renjun. Not when he needed anyone else.

So why did he agree?

Maybe it was the deepest and smallest part of Jeno that nobody had ever seen before that got jealous and sneaky.

He was finally getting something he wanted.

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