~Sehun~

I was unpacking my things and putting them in my dresser when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I retrieved it and checked the I.D nearly dropping my phone when I saw who it was from. My heart pounded rapidly against my chest and I unlocked my phone and stared at the message waiting for me.

From: Doe eyes 💔
To: Sehunnie 💕

How are you? I heard you were in the hospital, you're not pushing yourself to hard are you?

My breath caught in my throat and before I understood what was happening, my fingers moved across the screen typing a reply.

To: Doe Eyes 💔
From: Sehunnie 💕

I'm doing fine, just over exhausted myself

From: Doe Eyes 💔
To: Sehunnie 💕

You need to take better care of yourself, I wouldn't be able to take it of something happened to you.

I sighed looking at the message but then felt hurt and anger seep into my bones.

To: Does Eyes 💔
From: Sehunnie💕

Why would you care? It's clear you didn't take my well being into consideration when you left.

I threw my phone down, done with the whole conversation, I had laid awake at night for weeks after he left trying to figure out what I did wrong, what had happened to make him leave me... but in the end I always came up with the same answer... I'm alone now.

My phone rang again and I looked at it... 'wait, it's ringing?' My phones only rings when someone is... 'oh shit, he's calling me'

All the blood leaves my body and I feel like I've just been punched in the stomach, but once again my body acts on its own. I pick up my phone and tap the screen answering the call. I'm frozen, I can't say anything, I just listen... waiting to hear his voice.

"Sehun?" He asks.

My lip trembles "yeah?" I ask my voice breaking.

He sighs heavily "Sehun, I'm sorry for calling, I know it can't be easy to hear my voice... I just couldn't stand the thought of you mad at me"

Again I don't say anything, to afraid I would lose the little composure I was grasping onto.

"You don't have to say anything, just listen..." he pauses for a second and I give a small "mhm" indicating for him to continue. "Sehun, I know I've hurt everyone by leaving, and I know you guys think I'm selfish and a traitor, but I did what I had to Se, I did what I needed to do. I wasn't happy with the way everything was, so I took a stand, and I'm sorry if that hurt you guys, but I don't regret my actions"

A hot tear scorched my skin as it slid down my cheek "I understand..." I cleared my throat so I wouldn't give away that I was crying "I understand why you did it Luhan, I just don't understand one aspect of it"

He took a deep breath "what?"

"Why did you leave me? Was I so unimportant to you that you left me behind... Not even telling me goodbye?" I asked not caring anymore that he heard the tears in my voice.

He sniffled a few times and took a stabling breath "no, Sehun, it's the exact opposite... you're the reason I stayed for as long as I did, you were the hardest part of leaving. leaving you behind is the only thing I regret, I regret it every day... I would give anything just to be in your arms one more time... and I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye, but I just couldn't, it was hard enough leaving, but having to see your face as I walked away from you would have destroyed me"

A sob broke my lips "I'm so alone now LuLu, I miss you everyday"

"Oh baby don't cry, please listen... this isn't forever, one day we will be together again" he said trying to hold back a sob of his own.

I sniffled "how do you know that?"

"Because, there is no way in hell anyone or anything can keep you from me... I love you Sehun and I always will, even if we can't be together now, doesn't mean we will always be apart" Luhan said and I could almost hear the smile in his voice.

"Oh Luhan I want you here with me so bad" I said closing my eyes at the pain.

"I know baby, someday soon, we'll meet... even if I have to come to you." he said determination deep in his voice.

"You promise?" I asked feeling like a child.

"I really promise Sehun, we won't be apart for much longer" he said making my heart do jumping jacks.

I hear a beep "oh, um just a minute Sehun, I have another call coming through... Don't go anywhere" he says almost like he was scared I would disappear. The line goes silent and I feel my stomach churn.

'what if he doesn't come back? What if he doesn't mean all the things he said? What if he's just playing a cruel joke?'

"Sehun?" I hear his voice break through and I sigh in relief, hearing his light chuckle in my ear "didn't think I was coming back, did you?"

"It crossed my mind" I whispered. "Who was on the other line"

He paused for a second before slowly stating "actually it was kris"

My eyes bulged "you talk to kris?" I asked surprised.

"He knew I was going to try to talk to you today... he keeps bugging me about Tao, wanting to know how he is" Luhan states hesitant to mention it.

I sigh " he doesn't really talk about it to the others, but I catch him crying to himself at night a lot when he thinks I'm asleep"

Luhan sighs deeply "so I guess he found it then?"

"Found what?"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

~Tao~

Lounging in the living room with my head placed on Suho's shoulder, I was attempting to listen into the conversation of the guys but couldn't quite keep my attention on it. My mind drifted as it always did... it always drifted to the same place... 'i wonder what he's doing?' i wonder how he is? is he thinking about me?'

"Tao" someone suddenly said my name bringing my mind back to this world.

I looked up to find Sehun staring at me with sympathetic eyes "Tao, there's something you need to see"

My eyebrows knitted together "what is it Sehun?"

He held out his hand to me "just come with me"

I grabbed his hand hesitantly but allowed him to lead me out of the room and down the hall till we stood I front of 'the door'.

"You need to go in there Tao" Sehun said barley above a whisper.

My eyes widened in horror "Sehun, I can't go in there"

"You have to Tao, I can't explain... you just... have to" he said with sad eyes.

His lip trembled slightly and I knew I had to do this. I nodded and placed my hand on the door nob, looking down the hallway at the eight boys who had gathered to see what was going on, all staring at me wide eyed.

My eyes found Suho who gave me a supportive nod which gave me the strength I needed to twist the nob and walked inside.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

~Suho~

I wondered briefly if Tao would be ok going in on his own, not really understanding why Sehun wanted him to go in there, but somehow felt that this was something he needed to do alone.

"What's in there Sehun?" Baekhyun asked.

"Apparently something he needs to find" Sehun said glancing at his phone "I didn't ask what it was, just who left it"

"Who told you about it" D.O. asked seeming confused.

Sehun got nervous and scratched the back of his neck "I can't really tell you"

Kai rolled his eyes "then who left something for Tao in there?"

Sehun looked down at his feet then back up at us with wide but sad eyes "...

>>>>>>>>

~Tao~

The room was dark and full of dust, no one really hadn't touched this room since Luhan left. No one really knew why we couldn't set foot into this room, but being in here now, i understood why. There was a depressed feeling that hug in the air, like all of the happiness that once filled the room dispersed once the door was closed for the final time.

I moved forward, looking around with just enough light to see by, coming from the window on the wall across from me. squinting in the darkness, i tried to look for anything that i was meant to find.

At first I saw nothing, just an empty room with two empty dressers, two desks, and two bare beds, but then on one bed I noticed a shape of something.

I walked forward to further investigate the foreign object, when I realized what it was.

I gasped feeling tears well up in my eyes 'it can't be' I said to myslef almost unable to move my feet, but I keep taking small steps forward till I reached the bed.

Sitting on Kris's old bed was his stuffed dog, the one that he got the day we visited the Hanok Village.

I picked it up carfully, as if it would crumble if i handled it to roughly. I petted it's head before crushing it to my body when the ach in my chest deepened, and tears streamed down my cheeks falling onto the stuffed dogs fur.

I hugged it tighter hearing a weird crinkling noise, I pulled the dog away from me realizing that there was a small envelope attached to the collar.

Lightly grasping the edge between my pointer finger and thumb, I lightly pulled, my hand shaking from the overload of emotions that was passing through my body in that moment.

The envelope freed itself from the dog and rested in my grasp 'is this from Kris? What is it? Is it a letter? What would he have to say to me?'

Turning over the envelope I pulled on the flap and reviled a folded up piece of paper tucked neatly inside.

Swallowing harshly, my throat thick with emotion I slowly unfolded the paper and started to read, my eyes already brimming with hot heartbroken tears.

My vision blurred slightly making me blink the tears out of my eyes and slowly began to read the words on the page.

Dear Tao

I guess you know now about my decision to leave Exo, and I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye... I just thought it would be harder on the both of us if I had.
My decision to leave Exo, but most importantly you, was not one I made lightly, but one I had to make nevertheless.
In the end, I think we were too broken to fix anything. I loved you but it hurt too much to be with you. You were everything to me, but we were just to damaged for me to be able to stay by your side and I know this hurts...I'm sorry for breaking your heart Tao, it was the last thing I wanted to do.
I wanted to write this letter to say goodbye, because I owe you at least that, to tell you goodbye and wish you the best with your life.
A part of me will always love you, just as I know a part of you will always love me, but don't let that stop you from living the rest of your life Tao... live your life with joy, happiness, and above all else love.
Please don't be afraid to love again Tao, and when you've grown old and have an abundance of grandchildren... I hope you can look back on the memory of me and smile because i know i will always smile at the memory of you.
Take care of yourself and be safe.

Forever with you, GeGe

>>>>>>>>>>>

~Suho~

"He's been in there for a while, maybe someone should go check on him" Xiumin suggest looking worried.

I nodded and stepped forward "I'll go, he tends to latch on to me more"

The others nodded and watched me slowly walk down the hallway, pausing briefly before entering the room and closing the door behind me.

"Tao? Are you ok? What did he leave you?" I asked shuffling deeper into the room, Tao's light sobs audible.

Tao sniffled and clutched tightly to a piece of paper in his hands to his chest crinkling it lightly in the process.

He was curled tightly into a ball on the bare mattress and shaking slightly. I couldn't lie, I was almost horrified by the state he was in.

"Suho, you can't do this to him" Tao suddenly whispered.

"What?" I asked kneeling down in front of him and placing my hand on his arm, running my thumb back and forth.

"You can't break his heart like this, please don't do this to Lay" he said his lips trembling.

"...Tao" I said my voice breaking.

Tao sat up abruptly and stared into my eyes, his eyes held a sadness that broke my heart "No, listen Suho... I loved him, I really did, but he did the same thing your doing. He wanted better for me, and he didn't want to risk our careers... we though that just being by each other's sides as best friend was enough, but it wasn't, it was never enough." He stopped and let a small sob pass his lips before continuing "He always took care of me, protected me from the bad, made sure I was surrounded by the good. He always made sure that I was safe and out of harms way... but in the end he was the one who hurt me the most... but you want to the the most messed up part?"

He paused for me to answer but I couldn't open my mouth in fear that I to would start crying and i neeed to be strong for Tao right now. I moved up and sat on th bed next to Tao wrapping an arm around his shouder.

He continued without my reply "The messed up part is that the person I want to receive comfort from the most, is the one who shattered my heart in the first place... we broke it Suho, because I refused to let go and he refused to fight for me" Tao closed his eyes tightly forcing tears down his cheeks quickly.

I sighed heavily but didn't say anything, I just couldn't.

"Suho, you still have a chance... fight for him before you end up losing the one thing you didn't know you couldn't be without... please don't let him end up like me, please Suho" Tao said before his body was racked with violent sobs.

I wrapped my arms around the small shaking boy and pulled him onto my lap, holding the childlike boy close to me. Tears falling down my cheeks harshly, I have never seen Tao like this, and it was killing me.

"Don't ever be afraid to love someone, and don't ever be afraid to let them love you, because one day you'll realize that that love was all you ever wanted... and it will be to late" Tao said closing his eyes, tears still flowing freely down his cheeks.

I clutched Tao tighter to my chest rocking him back and forth. My heart broke for the boy but my heart nearly shattered over the thought that this could one day be my Lay.

>>>>>

After a while of letting Tao cry in my arms as i held him close to me, the boy fell asleep in my arms out of exhaustion. his words still swam through my head 'please dont let him end up like me, please Suho'

A sigh left my lips, the thought that Lay would one day be this broken, trying to push through each day covering up his pain, threatened to swallow me alive. I couldn't bear to hurt Lay, let alone break him like this.

My head and my heart were at battle right now, but could i let my heart win this one, just this once? Could i really allow myself to be with Lay and let everything else figure its own way?... would i be happy with just Lay if i lost everything else?

My head began to hurt and i just wanted to surrender to sleep, 'i can figure this out tomorrow'

"Come on little panda, let's get you to bed" i swung Tao up into my arms and carried him out of the room.

When i stepped into the hallway, i realised that everyone was still waiting for us, sitting on the ground, looking nervous and worried.

"How is he?" Sehun was the first to ask, standing up quickly.

I shook my head and wordlessly carried him into his room, placing him on his bed, and pulling his blanket up around him. Tao still had the letter clucthed to his chest, and his face held a sad expression.

"Tao, do you need anything?" i asked lightly feeling the need to ask.

Tao whimpered lightly and whispered "Kris"

I closed my eyes tightly and looked away "i know" then i remembered something, and rushed out of Tao's room into 'the room' grabbing the stuffed dog off the bed that Tao had discarded when he found the letter, and sprinted back into Tao's room.

"It's not him, but it's the best i can do panda" i said placing the dog next to him.

Tao peeked open his eyes and instandtly grabbed the dog crushing it against his chest and bruying his face into its soft fur. "Suho?" he ask, his words muffled into the stuffed animal.

"Yes?" i ask kneeling down next to him.

"Will you stay with me till i fall asleep?" he ask sounding like a small scared child.

I smile lightly "of course" and i did just that, i ran my fingers through tao's hair and hummed quietly to him until he fell asleep.

My darling chickens!!

I'm sorry that this chapter is kind of heavy, but it just felt right, i need Suho to be in a certain place... and i know breaking Tao's heart was awful, trust me i cried just writing it!! my poor baby Tao, but honestly Kris leaving probably hurt him worse than he lets on.

Anyhoo, lets take a large step away from those feels and focus on how much i love you guys!! seriously logging on to Wattpad everyday and seeing how many people are reading this makes me so happy, and i love you guys so much for your support and positive feed back!! keep up the good work and i'll do the same!

Well untill next time my chickens!!

love you all!!

사랑해!! 💕

~M~