~Suho~

A light knock at my door pulled me out of whatever thought was currently tormenting my thoughts. I pulled the blanket over my head and groaned. I just wasn't ready to deal with people, what happened yesterday with Tao had shaken me in ways i never expected.

All i could hear was Tao's words echoing through my head telling me that he not only lost the love of his life, but his best friend to... would that happen to Lay and me? Will there come a time where it will become to painful to be next to him that i would have to walk away? Could i deal with the loss of Lay? Could i hurt him the way that Kris hurt Tao?

My head began to pound just as every new question surfaced in my thoughts bringing with it more questions which quickly turned into a whole series. Another knock at the door had me pulling the blanket tighter against me in attempt to hide myself from the outside world.

"Suho? Are you going to come out and eat?" D.O.'s careful voice asked as he entered the room.

"No, just leave" i said, my words sounding lifeless.

D.O. sighed heavily "Suho, i don't know what happened yesterday in that room with Tao, and you don't have to tell me, but whatever it is clearly cut into you... please just talk to me, whatever it is, I'm here for you"

My heart clenched at his words, my friend, my brother... he really did care about me, but i just couldn't find the words to say.

I heard his footsteps slowly approach the bed "you don't have to say anything now, i'll make up something to cover for you today, and whenever you're ready to talk... I'm here"

He placed a hand on my leg reassuringly and patted it, before his footsteps retreated and the door to my room closed once again leaving me alone with my thoughts.

>>>>>>>

~Lay~

"Is he coming out?" Chanyeol asked when D.O. came back into the dinning room.

D.O. sat next to Kai and placed his head on his shoulder, seeking comfort from his boyfriend. He shook his head "no, he doesn't seem to be feeling well" D.O. looked down at the table and avoided everyone's gaze.

"Ok, now i have to know... what happened yesterday?" Baekhyun asked looking at Tao, who immediately avoided his gaze and stared at the table, just as D.O. had.

"Oh no you don't, Suho is holding himself up in his room, Sehun's bitchy resting face has reached a new level of bitchy, and D.O. looks like he just accidentally ran over a puppy... so spill, what happened?" Baekhyun said staring Tao down till he broke.

"I just... i was upset and when Suho came in, and the thought of Lay and him crossed my mind... i couldn't hold my tongue anymore, I'm sorry... i know you said you would handle it Lay, but i had to say something" Tao cried throwing his face into his hands.

I sat back in my chair shocked, Tao was the last person i would have expected to intervene in this situation, let alone say something that clearly broke through to Suho "what did you say to him?" i asked blinking at him still surprised.

Tao pulled his head out of his palms and started chewing on his lip nervously "that's between Suho and me" then he got up and put his dish in the sink "we should probably go to practice now" and then he left without another word.

"I can get it out of him if you want me to" Baekhyun said raising his eyebrow at me.

I shook my head "he's right, whatever was said in that room... should be left in that room" and with that we silently left heading to our first practice without Suho for as long as i can remember.

>>>>>>

~Suho~

When i finally climbed out of bed, it was late afternoon and i knew all of the guys would be at practice still.

"The messed up part is that the person i want to receive comfort from the most, is the one who shattered my heart in the first place..."

Running a hand through my hair, i let out a frustrated growl... 'how could things get this messed up?' I just wanted to protect my family, and keep my best friend, but by staying away from one i could potentially ruin the other... this is truly a struggle only a leader could understand.

A sudden thought struck me, and I slowly pulled my phone out of my pocket and stared at it hesitating, but then found the contact and pressed the call button.

It rang three times before he picked up "you've got Kris" he said into the phone.

"Hey Kris" i said sadly.

The phone made a couple of weird sounds like he had dropped his phone, before his voice came through the speaker sounding baffled "Suho?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's me" i said waiting for him to hang up at any moment.

Kris sighed heavily "how are you man? you sound upset"

I took in a stabilizing breath "i wanted to ask you about something actually"

"Oh ok, go ahead" he said staying silent till i finally got the courage to ask him the next question.

"Why did you choose your career over Tao?" i asked "i mean how could you choose one over the other?"

Kris sucked in a breath and was quiet for a second before answering slowly "it came down to what i thought i could live without, and i chose Exo over Tao because i had worked my whole life to get to that place, and i didn't want to lose it just because i had let myself get too close to someone" a sigh left my lips at his answer but what he said next sliced through me "i regret that choice everyday though, being in that position you ask yourself 'if i lost everything, would i be happy just having that person by my side' or 'could i really give up everything just to keep this person'... and now that i have lost everything that was important to me at that time, the one thing i regret was not loving Tao when i had the chance... i let it drag out to long, and the love we once had for one another turned to pain and even resentment... i lost my best friend and the man i loved all at once... there isn't a day that i wake up wishing i could go back and just let myself love Tao the way he deserved, but that's the thing that sucks about life... if you don't take a chance, you never get it back"

I swallow roughly before speaking "All my life I've heard that love isn't anywhere near as important as making something of yourself, of becoming successful, and making a lot of money... how do i let go of that principle and choose love?" i ask feeling lost.

Kris chuckled lightly into the phone "clearly the person who told you those things has never been in love, not real love... the type of love that makes you weak in the knees just at the thought of the other, the type of love that makes you feel safe and warm, and the type of love that would have one sacrifice themselves just for the others happiness... that's real love Suho, it doesn't care if you are some fancy CEO or a poor man living on the streets, if you ever have a chance at that love, grab ahold of it tightly and never let go because once it's gone it's gone and all your left with is a shattered heart and more regret than you know how to deal with"

I don't say anything so Kris continues speaking "Suho, Lay loves you, and i've seen the way you look at him. The love between you two is good, honest, and pure... i know it's scary letting someone in, but that's the thing about love, you don't have do go down that path alone"

I laugh lightly "when do you become so smart?"

"I guess it's the people who's made all of the wrong choices who can clearly see the right one's" he said his voice heavy.

A tear found it's way down my cheek "god i miss you Kris" i said my voice breaking.

He chuckles again "i know, i miss you to Suho, and i'm always a call away if you need me for anything"

"Thanks" i say closing my eyes tightly.

"And remember your promise, take care of Tao for me... he needs someone like you by his side" i could hear the sadness in his voice and my chest tightened. "but, i have to go Suho, until the next time?"

"Yeah buddy, i'll talk to you later" i swallowed the lump in my throat "goodbye Kris"

"Goodbye Suho" and then the line went dead.

>>>>>

~Lay~

"Ok, great practice everyone. it's late, so go on home" our dance instructor said.

"Thank god" Chen said rubbing his shoulder and then Xuimin stepped in and started massaging his shoulders. Chen turned to him and smiled but didn't pull away... 'i wonder how long it'll take him to figure it out?' i wondered smirking at their exchange.

"I think i'll stay here and practice, i can take my car home" Kai said continuing to practice.

I stepped forward not to eager to get home yet "do you mind if i join you?" i ask and he smiles shaking his head.

"Are you sure you want to stay? it's starting to snow" D.O. asks keeping his distance because the dance instructor was still in the room.

Kai smiles brightly at him and winks "of course, we wont be long"

D.O. nods and blows a kiss at him when the Dance instructors back is turned, then leaves the room with the others, leaving Kai and me alone to throw ourselves into dancing.

>>>>>

I huff out a breath and bend over grasping my knees "what's wrong Lay, are you losing your edge?" Kai ask teasing me.

I roll my eyes "you wish, I've just been more tired that usual"

He nods "it's not just a body thing, dancing is also a mind thing... and you my friend need to work through your shit"

I bark a laugh "D.O. would hit you for saying that"

Kai grins and puts on his coat "well he's not here is he?"

I laugh again following Kai's actions and throwing on my coat "i'll have to tell D.O. to reel that leash back in, you're getting a little out of hand"

Kai stuck his tongue out at me and led the way down to the garage to Kai's car that he leaves here sometimes when he dances late.

"So what are you going to do?" Kai asks when we slide in the car and he starts the engine.

"What do you mean?" i ask not really paying attention.

"I mean about Suho, are you really just going to let things continue like this?" he ask pulling onto the street.

A sigh leaves my lips "i'm not really sure, i was kind of hoping things would work itself out by now"

He laughs lightly "well clearly that's not happening, if anything it's gotten worse by just leaving it alone"

"I know, i just don't know what to do, no matter how much I want it...you just can't force a person to be with you if they've made up their mind to stay away from you" i say placing my hands in front of the heating vent.

"Are you cold?" Kai asks glancing over at me.

I smile "a little"

"Here" he says reaching over to turn up the heat, but quickly grabs the wheel when the car suddenly jerked to the side, nearly spinning us in a cirle.

The sounds of tires screeching could be heard and metal connecting with metal echoed through the air. The last thing i remember before darkness took over my vision is hearing Kai's voice screaming my name.

>>>>>

~Suho~

I jumped off the couch when the door opened and everyone flowed inside, red nosed and bright smiles shared between them.

Xuimin stopped when he saw me and his lips formed a perfect 'o' "Suho, you're up... are you feeling better?"

I smile "never better, where's Lay... is he with you?" i asked looking around through the group for any sign of the boy.

D.O. smiles giddily "he stayed at the studio with Kai, but should be back soon... why?"

I blush and look down at the ground grinning like a fool "no reason, just wanted to talk to him"

Baekhyun giggles but doesn't say anything and heads into the kitchen for something to eat followed by the the rest of the herd of hungry boys.

Except D.O. who is still giving me that happy kid smile "what made you finally come to your senses?"

I roll my eyes but the smile doesn't leave my face "i'll talk to you about it later, i need to go talk to Lay first"

He nods and pats my back as i pass him heading for the door "go get him"

I wink at him and shut the door behind me my heart pounding against my chest in excitement, 'i'm coming Lay, we'll be together soon baby'

>>>>>

I got to the dance studio to find it empty and dark, 'i guess they already left, they must be heading back to the dorms then' I say to myself.

My phones starts going off in my coat pocket and i pick it up smiling at the caller ID "D.O. i'll be home soon, they're alre..."

"Suho" Baekhyuns frantic voice said on the other end of the line "D.O.'s a litle preoccupied at the moment, but Suho... there's been an accident"

>>>>>

~Lay~

"Are you sure you're ok?" Kai asked me from the hospital bed.

"Kai, for the hundreth time, i'm fine. Quit beating yourself up over this, anyone could have hit that black ice, were just lucky all we got was a few cuts and bruises" i said sitting in the chair next to him.

He smiled that Kai smile and winced when it tightened the skin on his forhead "ow, shit" he cursed and moved his hand to touch his head.

"Don't touch it, we have to wait for the nurse to bandage it up" i said staring at the large cut on Kai's head leading into his hairline. "that's going to mess up your pretty face"

He raised an eyebrow and immediately regreted it "are you kidding?" he said through the pain "nothing can mess this up" then he made a circle around his face with his pointer finger.

I barked a laugh and the nurse came in, not looking to happy "i need to take care of the wound, you can wait outside" she said motioning towards the door.

I looked at Kai and he gave me a nod of approval, so i stepped into the hallway. i paced back and forth a couple times before feeling restless. 'Maybe i should go get Kai some juice' looking down the hallway, i saw it empty and when i looked back inside the nurse was still fixing up Kai, so i decided to head down to the cafeteria, on the hunt for some juice.

>>>>>

~Baekhyun~

D.O. was ten steps ahead of us as we hauled down the hallway, he halted at the desk and asked for which room Kim Jongin was in and was directed down another hallway. Without hesitation D.O. nearly sprinted to the room.

I got there a second later to see a crying D.O. wrapped up in Kai's arms who was whispering to his boyfriend that he was fine, and that everything was going to be alright.

D.O. pulls back and looks Kai up and down before smacking his arm "you scared me to death, don't ever do that again" he said throwing himself into Kai's arms once more.

I couldn't help but laugh at the little little guy, but i also understood where he came from... if i had been in that situation with Yollie, i would have been just as much a mess, if not more. I stepped over to Chanyeol and leaned into him, feeling his arm discreetly wrap around my waist, we were still in the view of the public after all.

"Wait" i said suddenly sitting up "Where's Lay? he was in the car with you right?"

Kai nods "yeah he was, but i have no idea where he is"

My eyes widened and was about to ask him what he meant by that when the nurse came in "you all need to leave, i'm not done with Mr. Kim"

"But wait" i said.

The nurse stepped in front of us and started pushing us out "come on. Out" when she finally got all of us, even D.O. out in the hallway she slammed the door.

"Jesus, what a bitch" i said earning a glance from D.O. "what? like you weren't thinking it"

"So where's Lay?" Tao asked stepping forward.

"Kai said he didn't know" Chen said looking worried in a rare serious moment.

We all exchanged looks but soon a new feeling of fear overtook our body "you dont think?"

"We cant think like that, let's just go ask the nurses station before we start jumping to conclusions" D.O. says taking Xuimin with him.

I started pacing, my stomach in knots, and my mind racing 'where the hell could he be?'

>>>>>

~Suho~

I barreled down the hall and rounded the corner to find Chen, Tao, Sehun, Chanyeol, and Baekhyun standing out in the hall, looking worried and slightly terrified.

"What happened? Are they ok? Where's Lay?" i asked sliding to a halt in front of Baekhyun.

"Kai's ok" Baekhyun pauses.

"But Lay is missing" Chanyeol finishes for him.

My breath catches in my throat and i swear my heart stops "what do you mean missing?"

"There's no record of him on file, and no one's seen him, even Kai has no idea where he is" D.O. says behind me making me spin around to see his wide eyes, refusing to meet mine, and his face drained of all color.

All feeling flees from my body and i just blink at him. I place my hand on the wall to stabilize myself but slowly end up sliding down it onto my knees. I feel hands on me and voices trying to speak to me but all i can do is stare blankly ahead, even thoughts refuse to enter my head... i am completely numb because my Lay is missing and he took my heart with him.

MY Chickens!!

Omo!!! Lay's missing and right after Suho was ready to confess his love to him?? oh the humanity!!! haha Jk jk!

I know this was a chapter packed full of action, but i hope you all kept up just fine. It was fun for me to write, even though my heart did break a little for those Kaisoo feels!

Stick around for the next chapter, i know you guys will love it!! I have a great chapter planned!!

I love you guys!!

사랑해!!💕

~M~