I laid out all of my outfits I was going to use for the trip, making sure to leave a space or two open for some new cloths I would buy today with Tao on our shopping trip.

As if on que the diva called Tao ran into the room "oh my gosh Suho, are you ready?" he climbed onto my bed and stared bouncing slightly grinning happily like a child on Christmas.

I couldn't help but mirror his smile "give me a few minutes then we will go" i said placing my final shirt into my suitcase "have you started packing yet?"

"Hmm? oh no, i was going to do so tonight after we got back" Tao said seeming lost in thought. He was doing that a lot latley, he would space out and i never knew what... or who he was thinking about.

I turned to him "Tao, you're not going to buy a whole new wardrobe for this trip are you?" i asked almost scared to hear the answer.

"Of course not" Tao says in mock offense, placing this fingers to his chest and droping his jaw dramatically "i just have to see what i buy, and then coordinate my other outfits with the rest of my cloths so i know what type of feel im going for while were on vacation"

"You think way to hard about this, they are just cloths" i said immediately regretting the words as they left my mouth.

Tao gasps "Suho, they are not just cloths, how could you even say that" he starts fanning himself and making very feminine noises.

"I'm sorry Tao, you know fashion isn't really my thing" i say trying to calm him down, then get a perfect idea on how to do that "hey Tao?" i smile like i just got the greatest idea ever.

Tao locks his jaw and his piercing eyes find mine "what?" he hisses.

"Would you like to help me pick out an something to wear on the trip since you know so much more about fashion than i do?" i ask adding an extra sweet tone to my voice.

Tao's eyes light up "really? you would be my Barbie for a day?" he asks jumping up and staring at me excitedly.

"If you wouldn't mind" i say beginning to get nervous about what Tao would do to me.

Tao suddenly lets out a squeal and throws his arm around my neck "Omo Suho, this is going to be so much fun. Let me go and get my purse then we can go" he says laughing then running out the door towards his room.

I chuckle and turn back to my suitcase "you really do love that kid, don't you?" a voice asks from the doorway, making me jump.

I place a hand over my heart "oh, Sehun... how are you feeling?" i ask trying to slow my rapidly beating heart. "and Tao is older than you" i say laughing at his odd word choice.

Sehun smirks "a lot better after getting some much needed sleep, thanks. And Tao is older, but only in age, mentally he's like five"

I snort "you have a point there, and i'm just looking after you, as always"

Sehun gazes at me for a moment before surprising me with what he says next "you do know that we are allowed to look after you too, right?" he places a hand inside his pocket and leans against the door frame "i know you're the leader and you take on more responsibility than us, but you're also our friend Su, our brother... there's nothing shameful in letting us take care of you every once in a while"

I blinked at him and felt the corners of my lips tug "i know that if i ever need you guys, you will be there"

Sehuns eyebrows knitted together and he lifted an eyebrow "Do you?"

Confusion struck me, of course i knew the guys are always there for me, i mean 'Exo we are one' right? but somehow i felt Sehun was trying to tell me something. Something that was fluttering on the edge of my coherence, but i couldn't seem to grasp it.

I opened my mouth to ask Sehun where he was getting at but Tao burst into the room, purse in hand. He bounced over to me "are you ready? are you ready?" he asked resorting back to child form, making Sehuns point from earlier.

I chuckled and grabbed my wallet off my dresser "tell the guys, we'll be back later and get some more rest, ok?"

Sehun nods and sighs watching Tao drag me out of the room. "don't let him go to overboard" i heard over my shoulder but Tao pulled me out the front door before i could reply.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

~Lay~

I watched from the window as Suho and Tao rushed out of the building heading down the street. Jealously pricked at my brain even though i knew Suho saw Tao as a son more than anything else, but i couldn't help the jealousy over how Tao seemed to be Suho's weak spot. He always takes care of him, comforts him, and does things for him that i wish he would do for me.

I let out a breath and laid back down on my bed "I've tried so hard to let him go for his sake, but every time i get one step away i come running back faster than before... Whats wrong with me?"

D.O. lifts his gaze from the book he's reading and finds my eyes, sympathy encasing his features "you're in love Lay, walking away from the one person you never want to be apart from isn't suppose to be easy"

"It hurts D.O." i say rolling on my side and grabbing my chest.

Worry seizes D.O.'s eyes "i know sweetie, just don't give up quiet yet"

"But how do i keep holding on to him when all he does is pull away?" i ask my head beginning to hurt from holding back tears.

D.O. puts his book down and slides off his bed padding over to mine "don't hold on, in fact let go"

"What?" i ask confused "i just told you that i cant let g..."

"You don't have to actually let go, you just have to make it appear like you've given up... It might just drive him crazy enough to work" he sits on the edge of my bed "give it a try, it'll be hard but it might push Suho to see that he doesn't want to let go of you either" D.O. says smirking slightly at his genius.

"So i just act like i don't want to be around him anymore, like ive given up on him?" i ask feeling my chest tighten at the idea of even acting that way.

D.O. nods "exactly, put on a cold guys act... It'll drive him crazy"

A sigh leaves my lips and i pull my pillow against me chest "ok i'll try... but D.O.?"

"Yeah?" he asks moving a piece of hair from my eyes.

A tear escapes from the corner of my eye and rolls down onto my pillow "can i pretend to let go of him tomorrow?"

D.O. meets my eyes and looks on the verge of tears himself "of course sweetie, hold on tightly for one more day" he says laying down next to me on the bed and pulling my head to his chest cradling me like a child as sobs rack my body once more before i fall asleep in D.O.'s protective and comforting arms.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

~Suho~

When we arrive back at the house, my arms felt like they were about to break "Tao, are you sure we didn't go overboard, i mean this is a lot of stuff"

Tao turns to me with wide eyes "its all necessary Suho, trust me you'll look great the whole vacation"

"When i asked you to help me pick out something to wear, i didn't mean for the whole vacation, i just meant like and outfit or two" i said letting the bags slide off my arm and onto the floor.

Tao giggles clearly in a good mood from our shopping trip and all of my doubts fly out the window "well, you should have been more specific" he teases grabbing the couple of bags off the floor that are his and nearly skips back to his room... This is the happiest I've seen him in forever, and i couldn't stop myself from grinning like an idiot at the sight of it.

I replace the torture devices back on my arms and haul them to my room throwing open the door with a loud bang and shuffling inside.

A loud squeak comes from the other side of the room causing me to turn to face the noise "Wow Suho, knock much" Baekhyun jumps up off Chanyeols bed and grabs quickly at his shirt on the floor throwing it on and whipping frantically at his lips.

I raise my eyebrows "well this is my room" i say throwing the bags on my bed and turning away from a panicking Chanyeol who was desperately trying to find his pants.

"Ugh why can't we just switch rooms already?" Baekhyun whines

"Then i would have to put up with the sexual deviant named Kai and his little secret freak" i say shaking my head.

"Or D.O. could move into my room" Baekhyun says his voice raising slightly in pitch.

I laugh lightly "that's would put me in a room with La..." i stop, my heart pounding, an unnatural fear slicing through me. I couldn't share a room with Lay, that would just hurt both of us. I can't keep doing that to us...what more can i do to explain that? I can't be in the same room as him, with Lay so close every time i sleep, work, and even change...no, no... I cant do that. I put my hand on my chest and try to control my breathing realizing that i was breathing like i just ran a marathon.

Baekhyun rushes over to me making me sit down on the edge of my bed "calm down Su, it was just a joke.. i wont make you move, i promise"

Tears well up in my eyes and my breath starts coming out in short gasps making Baekhyuns eyes widen "Suho" he exclaims and drops to his knees in front of me "it's ok, you wont have to share a room with him, breath, please" he pleads his eyes darting back and forth across my face.

"D.O." Chanyeol yells standing up abruptly thankfully in pants.

A moment later D.O. rushes into my room slightly annoyed but then his eyes widen when he sees me gasping for air on the bed "shit" he curses and grabs my face staring into my eyes "Suho, breath... you need to calm your heart rate down, come on focus on something, anything but the fact that you cant breath"

I tried but it wasn't working, my lungs were on fire and i was staring to get dizzy. I felt like i was going to die, my heart pounded painfully against my chest threatening to rip me open at any second. "please" i forced out in between gasps "make.... it...... stop" tears ran freely down my cheeks and i clawed at my chest.

Suddeny Lay bursts into the room his eys wide in horror, without even hesitating he jumped on the bed behind me and pulled my back against his chest tightly, wrapping his legs around my waist "Suho, concentrate on my voice, listen to my words and what I'm saying to you" he slid his hand inside my shirt placing his palm flat on my chest pushing our body's together "listen to my breathing, feel my chest rising and falling, match the rhythm Suho, come on sync your breathing with mine"

I listened to the air coming in and out of his lungs, and concentrated on the feeling of his chest pushing into my back.. in... out... in... out. It was helping but it was hard to concentrate, i was trying to force my breath just like his, but my thoughts wouldn't focus.

Then he began to sing lightly, into my ear.

"Wo hai zai yong bao zhe zai ku qi de ni. Na e meng tai qing xi xia yi miao wo ye jiu qing xing.

xin you xie tan xi da kai chuang xie xin, bayue guang huan xiang cheng fang fu ta ye zheng zai shang xin.

remember ni hai zai wo bu xiang rang ni cry, yeah wo.

rang ni xiao zui can lan de wei xiao, li kai wo de xin hai da ying wo bu yao cry. ca bu wan yan lei rang wo nan guo.

ai li kai it's my turn to cry xing xing dou zai kan. yan lei kuai lei ji cheng hai.

it's my turn to cry hei ye duo cui can.

kuai guan diao yan lei this time.

His voice flowed into my brain reaching the unreachable, his voice echoed in my mind like the sound of angels calling me home. It was perfection, like my own personal lullaby, pulling me back to consciousness.

My breathing calmed and my heart slowed down, i took in a large breath wincing at the exquisite pain of it and reclined my head back on Lay's shoulder continuing to pant slightly from the oxygen withdrawal, closing my eyes, while Lay continues to hold me tight singing softly into my ear.

After a few minutes of resting in Lays arms i finally felt well enough to open my eyes. I found the worried gazes of all of Exo staring at me. I take in another deep breath, relieved that it's slightly less painful this time and attempt a smile "sorry everyone" my voice comes out slightly breathy and raspy.

"Are you ok?" D.O., Baekhyun, and Xiumin ask in unison.

I nod lightly "i honestly don't know what happened" i say feeling heat rise to my cheeks.

"Maybe just all of that stress catching up to you, like what happened to Sehun yesterday" Xuimin says patting my arm.

I nod again "maybe" my eyelids start to droop, as i suddenly felt exhausted.

"Suho you should lay down, get some sleep" D.O. suggests removing the bags off my bed.

"But i need to finish packing" i mumble already feeling sleep tugging at my brain.

"Don't worry, i'll finish for you" Tao says almost too happily.

D.O. pushes me to the side and i feel Lays legs release from around my waist but not his arms. My head hits the pillow and someone pulls my legs onto the bed making me realize that i had closed my eyes. I felt something soft encase my body and a light brushing of something soft against my temple before unconsciousness pulles me under, and i didn't even attempt to fight it.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

~Lay~

"I think he's asleep" i whispered feeling his steady breathing against my palm.

D.O. sighs in relief "what the hell was that?" he asks no one specific.

A sigh leaves my lips "usually he's better at hiding his panic attacks, and he hasn't had one in a long time... but i guess the stress built up and caught him off gaurd" i rubbed my hand across his chest lighty reciving a light moan from the sleeping boy in my arms. "did something happen, or did someone say anything to send him over the edge?"

Baekhyun closed his eyes and breathed out roughly throwing his head into his hands "it was a joke, i didn't think he would take it that badly"

I narrowed my eyes "what did you do?"

Beakhyun groned and threw himself into Chanyeols chest prompting Chanyeol to answer for him "he just made a joke, about moving rooms around so Bakhyun could be in here with me, and D.O. could be with Kai.. which would leave Suho in the room with you" when he finished he looked at the ground ashamed.

I blew air out of my chest feeling angry "i want you guys to leave Suho alone about this from now on, he has his reasons and you need to respect that"

"But... Lay if we could just make him see th..." Chen started

"No" i said putting my hand up "enough, all your doing is hurting him and me in relation... just let me handle this" i said looking down at Suho and brushing some hair out of his eyes.

Xuimin stepped forward "what do you mean?"

"Just like i said, i'll handle this" i said deadpanning, not giving away anymore information than that.

Baekhyun stepped forward with a slight smirk on his face "ok, we'll do what you say Lay... lets get some sleep everyone, we have to be up early for the flight tomorrow"

Groans and mumbles filled the room but everyone followed the order and started shuffling out. Baekhyun grabbing Chanyeols hand and lead him out obviously heading to his room to give Suho some space. Tao grabbed all of the bags on the floor and Suho's suitcase taking it with him with, a huge grin on his face. Kai smiled at D.O. and gave him a quick kiss before leaving the room.

"You coming Lay?" D.O. asked stopping at the door. "I promise Kai and i wont get inappropriate"

"No i'll stay here tonight" i said snuggling my head into the crook of Suho's neck.

"Lay" D.O. said in warning.

I lifted my eyes to find D.O.'s worried ones "you said one more night, and there is no way in hell I'm leaving him right now... I promise ill let go tomorrow, but for tonight... i'm going to keep him" i said pulling Suho tightly against me once again.

D.O. sighs but nods his head in understanding, then steps to the wall flicking the light off and heading to the door "goodnight Lay" D.O. says his voice laced with worry.

I smile lightly in the dark and snuggle my head once more against Suho's neck "Goodnight D.O."

>>>>>>

My Chickens!! 💖

What do you all think Lay means by "i'll handle this?" hmm i guess you'll just have to wait and see!!

Who else loves Tao's childlike behavior? i know i do... gotta love my baby Tao!!! but does anyone else feel like he's up to something? haha well you'll see soon ;)

Stay tuned for the next chappie, my chickens, things are about to get very interesting!! :)

*Oh and if you guys were wondering, the song that Lay sings to Suho is: "My turn to cry" -Exo M version.

사랑해 💕

~M~