61- First step towards healing
Important note:
All the methods mentioned in this chapter to cure Sia's problems are fictional. Half of them are my imagination and other half is googled. So please Do Not try any of this. In case you have similar type of problem, please consult an elder and a doctor.
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The whole day was really tiresome for Raghav- settling everything at business, driving three hours to reach here and the long and stressful discussion. Hence, he went off to sleep as soon as we finished dinner but not before taking a promise to wake him up if anything remotely goes wrong with me.
Tanya and I too laid down on the bed but instead of sleeping, we continued gossiping about one thing or the other.
I don't know when we slept as the last thing I remember was talking about Trisha's mood swings. Even though I don't have the memory of us going to sleep, I very well remember how I woke up: Screaming my lungs out and being drenched in sweat, startling the other two present in the house as well.
Raghav came bustling into the room while Tanya kept saying comforting words like how this was all a dream and not at all true and many more things like that.
After calming down a bit, I apologized before going to the bathroom to wash away the sweat.
"I am really sorry", I apologized again, after coming back.
"Don't be. It's not your fault", Tanya said with a sad smile.
Both of them were really shaken from all this, even more than me. These nightmares were a regular occurrence for me but it was there first time witnessing it.
Raghav took a chair and sat near the bed. Tanya pulled me in a way that my head was lying on her lap and patted my head slowly trying to comfort me even though it was clear that she needed it much more than me.
The outcome of this nightmare was obvious. The next morning, we all were feeling sluggish.
Despite feeling sleepy, they both made continuous efforts to crack a joke or bicker over little things to make me smile.
Breakfast was done and we all sat doing nothing while Ganga Tai cleaned the house.
They kept looking at me every now and then, clearly waiting for me to start writing down my nightmare. Luckily they didn't force me and waited for me to gather courage at my own time.
Diary, pen, highlighter, pencil, eraser, marker and what not was placed on the dining table, waiting to be used by me. A pen and paper was enough but Tanya thought of bring everything as if the variety of supplies would make it easier to write.
I kept staring at them for a long time, trying my best to gather a little bit of courage to atleast pick them up.
Raghav and Tanya both were at the living room, pretending to watch T.V but their constant glances were enough to give away their act.
"Stop looking at me, it's making me nervous", I shouted.
"Looking at you? Pfft, what are you talking about? We are watching my favourite show", Tanya blatantly lied.
I shook my head at her, not bothering to grace her with a response and looked down at the scattered supplies again.
Taking a huge breath, I picked out the diary.
The loud and audible sighs of relief from the living room was the clear indication that their whole attention was on me and T.V was just an excuse.
Rolling my eyes at their stupidity, I opened up the page to write down my nightmares.
~~~•~~~
One and half hour later, all I managed to do was to create a puddle of crushed papers that I had teared of from the diary, near my feet.
"I can't do this", I said in a helpless tone while looking up from the book.
My head jerked back in shock when I noticed my friends sitting along with Raghav and Tanya. Was I so immersed in writing that I didn't even hear them coming inside?
"When did you all come?", I asked astonished, while standing up to go near them.
"About half an hour earlier", Jiya answered.
I waited for them to elaborate their reason for coming here today.
"We came here to support you. You are doing such a tough job, so we decided to be your cheerleaders today", Shanaya answered my unasked question.
I felt overwhelmed by their supportive and helpful nature.
"Thank you so much for coming here. But I think it was a waste as I wasn't able to write anything", I notified them, feeling ashamed.
"It's okay, Sia. Atleast you tried", Raghav said trying to assure me.
"Umm...I have an idea which might help Sia", Tanya said unsurely, worried that no one would like it.
"Please, do tell the idea. Every idea, every suggestion is welcomed as long as it helps Sia", Rudra encouraged.
"Ok so, how about we all write down our fears or problems instead of Sia doing it alone. This way she won't feel pressurized", Tanya explained her ideas.
"Our fears?", Shanaya asked pointing her finger towards herself, looking confused.
"Yes. Everyone has some fears, some secrets that they are holding inside. Some are huge, some are small but we all have some problems in our life. Maybe it would be easy for Sia to pen down everything if everyone is doing the same thing.
You don't have to necessarily show to others, what you have written. You may if you want to; or you could keep it to yourself, to try and get better; or you could even lit that paper into fire to let go of the sad feeling", Tanya spoke looking expectantly at everyone.
We all pondered over her suggestion and one by one everyone nodded making her smile.
"My smart wife", Raghav complimented in a low voice but as we all were standing near each other, everyone heard that.
We all hooted for them while they both turned red in embarrassment.
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