Jiya's words struck something inside me. With my secret, there's a great possibility that our friendship would break but that doesn't mean, I can't enjoy. Surely I would have to take care to not be fully dependent on them so that it won't hurt much when they leave but until then, I need to make full use of the time, we spend together.

Making an internal resolution to start trying to get comfortable with them as soon as we meet again, I move towards my lecture.

                             ~~~•~~~

As the time passed, my bravery started diminishing. The resolution went into back of my mind and the fear took its root.

Fortunately none of the trio were in my class, so I had time to start my resolution. I was hoping that we don't meet today at all, so I could go home and try to gather any little bit of courage I had left for facing them tomorrow.

All my hopes went down the drain when I entered the last lecture and spotted Maitri.

Not only my hopes of meeting them tomorrow got crushed but also the person I met was Maitri. The first person with whom I had to start my resolution was the one who was constantly angry at me.

Cursing my fate, I went inside and gave her a small smile. She wordlessly picked her bag and made space for me to sit but never bothered to look up again after glancing at me once.

I went and sat beside her silently, not wanting to anger her like I did in the first lecture.

"Do you have last time's notes? I forgot mine", she asked after few minutes.

"Ah...umm....yeah", I gave her my book while stuttering in nervousness.

She frowned hearing my stutter and spoke flatly, "Relax. I am not gonna eat you".

I would have laughed if someone else had said that but the serious face of Maitri made me apologize to her in a low voice, "Sorry".

So much for making a resolution, I wasn't able to even speak a sentence without stuttering in nervousness.

She sighed audibly, probably annoyed with me.

"Listen calm down. If you want, you can sit somewhere else. I won't feel hurt but seriously stop being so scared", she said attempting to speak in a soft voice.

Key word being 'attempting', which wasn't at all successful but its the thought that counts.

Closing my eyes, I took few deep breathes. I finally opened my eyes when I had calmed down and turned towards her.

"I willingly sat here", I told hoping that she would believe me.

"Right. Just like you willingly sat with us during first lecture", she said sarcastically.

I looked down at my book, not being able to face her.

"Hey hey! Look up. You didn't do anything wrong. I am not angry with you, no one is", she said trying to pacify me.

I looked up not understanding, it was clear as day that she got furious. "Um..you had your fists closed tightly", I said wanting to clear what she meant.

She sighed and explained, "I was angry...let me finish first before making that 'I told you so' face. I was angry but on Shanaya. She clearly put you on spot, unintentionally pressurizing you".

Seeing my dumbfounded expression, she explained further, "We know the feeling when you don't know how to act. The fear that one wrong move would set others off and they would leave you behind. The helplessness when you try so hard to fit in but you just can't because you are different.

So I was angry at Shanaya for doing this, even after having experienced the same problems".

"But...but why would you face such troubles? You all are bestfriends", I asked confused as I couldn't even imagine that they went through something similar.

Giving me a sad smile, she answered, "Have you ever seen us hanging out with someone other than us? Never right? That's because we three are the outcasts here. We don't fit in with anybody.

You would have surely wondered that how come we are bestfriends when we have nothing in common. But there's something which we have in common,our inability to fit in with other people".

"How's that possible?", I asked still unable to believe what she was speaking.

"That's the truth Sia. Infact that's the first reason we became friends. We didn't want to feel lonely, so we sat together. We all know the awkwardness you are feeling now, we had our fair share of it", she said with a smile.

"Sorry", I apologized.

Upon seeing her confused expression, I elaborated, "For hurting you all when I called you for lunch. I can now understand how much hurt you would have felt when you thought that I just used you and didn't want to be your real friend. Although it wasn't my intention, I opened up your old wounds".

She snorted, "Yeah we were hurt, heck we even cried but it was all a misunderstanding so don't apologize and now shut up, I have to work on these notes before the professor turns up".

Saying this she went back to what she was doing and I drowned myself in thoughts about what we just discussed.