[ graphic: @sufferingIy ]

a jar of secrets
01 | the beginning

"You're my little queen," he told me, placing the crown gently on my head. I giggled as I gestured for him to kneel down before me.

"And you're my king," I squealed, also placing the flower crown awkwardly on top of his head. He chuckled, pulling me into a tight hug.

"Sweetheart, come away from that man!" A third voice cried out suddenly. I turned to face the owner of the voice, tears coming to my eyes as they never yelled at me.

"But he's my new friend."

I screamed as the person took my hand and pulled me away from the mysterious man. I tried to kick and pull away, to try and go back to my new friend but it had been no use.

I turned my head back towards the man, the skies turned an angry dark purple above our heads as lightening began to crackle as it brightened the meadow around us.

The crown that had been placed on my head catches a branch and slips off into the now muddy ground beneath our feet. I tried to reach for it but the person held tight onto my hand and took me further away from the shadows.

Further away from the man who smiled one last time at me before he disappeared into the shadows too.

I suddenly wake to a cold sweat, my skin feeling itchy and the sheets stick to my lanky body as I groan. Some of my dark brunette curls glue to the tape of my neck and along my forehead, annoying me.

I've had the same dream before ever since I turned seventeen last summer, it never went beyond that nor did it ever give me any names of the people or meadow.

I've been to three doctors the past year about it, they always say the same thing.

"You kids never get enough sleep these days, try taking these sleeping tablets and they should help you feel rested. The dreams are probably just some story you remember being told as a little girl, they should go away."

Except the tablets never help and the dreams don't go away.

"Seph are you awake yet honey?" Ash calls out from the other side of my bedroom door.

I notice with a sigh that the light that is coming into my room wasn't from my lamp but rather from the slightly opened curtains, letting the sunlight in.

"Uh yes I'm awake now," I call back rolling my eyes and pulling the sheets off of me. "No thanks to you.." I mumble under my breath referring to the stupid dream.

"I've got pancakes with your name on them downstairs," Ash adds in a cheerful mood as I manage to stand up and look around for a clean pair of jeans. "Strawberry jam just how you like em."

"I'll be down in a minute," I shout as I finally locate my black ripped jeans and my new red sweeter. I needed to wash all this sweat off me first though.

"You better hurry before Patrick eats them all," he reminds me before I hear him turning away and walking back down the stairs outside my room.

"He better not or he'll be dealing with this temper of mine first thing in the morning."

As you can probably tell, I am not a morning person in the slightest. Mostly because I'm up all hours of the night and early morning because I can't sleep, thanks to insomnia for that.

❦

I had just hopped out of the shower five minutes ago and was on my way to the kitchen when I hear Ash and Patrick talking in hushed whispers.

"Do you think we should tell her?"

"No you know it's not our place to do that," Ash lets out a shaky breath after he says this.

"Not your place to tell me what?" I ask the two coming around the corner innocently. Both guys jump at being caught red handed, although it's Patrick who calms down first and goes back to his usual self.

"I was just about to dig into those if you didn't come down in the next two minutes," he jokes pointing out the lonely plate sitting on the counter beside him.

"Sure you were," I say nodding my head as I take the plate over to the bench, bringing a fork with me. "You know I would've killed you if you even smelled this plate, right?"

"Oh and happy birthday!" Ash shouts from the stove as he's still cooking his own.

"Babe you burnt my pancake!" Patrick cries suddenly ignoring my comment. He turns his pancake over to show me his slightly burnt dough.

"Thanks Ash."

I choose to hide my laugh behind my hand as Patrick resembles a little boy who's ice cream fell off the cone and onto the pavement.

"It's called cooked Pat not burnt," Ash shoo's him away as he brings over a plate for himself, loaded high with chocolate syrup covered pancakes.

"But it's black!" he points it out to his partner who just laughs.

"Fine it's coloured lightly, just like you babe," Ash winks at him, a twinkle in his blue eyes.

You see, Ash and Patrick are happily in love if you can't tell already. I've been living with them as long as I could remember, apparently my parents had put me up for adoption when I was seven not that I can actually remember that though.

The doctors think it's just a coping mechanism and that's why I can't seem to remember anything before then including my parents and my life before living with these two cute but slightly over protective idiots.

Do I find this sad? Honestly, no I don't. I mean I've had the best time here with these two knuckle heads and I wouldn't change a thing if I could. Sure I find it kinda annoying that I can't remember anything from before but I've learned to accept that and just move on.

"- And she's off in dream world again."

I blink as my eyes focus back on the piece of pancake I currently had on my fork that is raised up in front of my open mouth.

"I just remembered something you idiot," I mumble whacking Ash over the head playfully.

"What is it?" Pat asks curiously, turning to share a look with his boyfriend before looking over towards me.

Whenever I said I remembered something both boys would look at each other worriedly before asking what I remembered, I picked up on it a couple years ago but every time I bring it up they knock it back saying they were just curious.

"Oh I just remembered that Liv should be coming through the door in about fi-"

"Hello my little chicken-dee!"

"Right now?" Pat asks laughing as my best friend of five years comes through the front door and into the kitchen.

"Ooh pancakes yes please, how thoughtful of you to make me one," Liv says as she walks over to Pat's plate and takes the slightly burnt pancake off the plate and begins biting into it.

"Hey I was going to eat that!" He complains watching the pancake being eaten until it was no more then just a few crumbs on my friends denim jacket which she ended up brushing off anyways.

"Were you though, like really?" Ash asks him between a mouthful of his syrup covered ones that he shoves into his mouth greedily.

"Well.. uh yeah you did make it for me after all."

"Even though it was 'burnt'?" I add in watching Pat nod his head.

"Lies!" Liv accuses him making us all laugh. I quickly finish off my own plate before getting up and dropping it into the sink for later. "Happy birthday beautiful," she then adds smiling over at me, I thank her before noticing the time.

"Come on Liv, we have to get going if we don't want to be expelled," I remind her going into the corridor and grabbing my black leather school bag.

"Where are you two sneaking off to?" Pat calls out from the kitchen, he mustn't have noticed the two of us leaving the room.

"To the place known to some as hell," I shout back making Liv chuckle beside me as I close the door behind us.

"Bring her back to us in one piece Liv."

"She's not talking about you know where is she?"

"Shh no, she's talking about her school Ash!"

We roll our eyes at Ash's comment before we begin making our way down the path.

"So birthday girl, you excited for tonight?" Liv asks bumping my shoulder with hers with a smile.

"I guess so," I tell her shrugging.

"It's a shame the boys aren't letting you have an epic party this year though," she goes on as we turn up the path towards our high school.

In the summer months it is actually pretty nice to walk instead of drive to school especially since it's only a fifteen minute walk, winter in Misty Hollows however is another story though. 

"Good morning ladies," Ethan greets us around the corner, his bag slung over one shoulder. Ethan is the other member of our little trio and likes to think of himself as the guy who's here to protect us ladies but mostly it's us protecting him from the cheerleaders.

"Hey good-lookin," Liv says, going over to kiss him quickly before he wraps an arm around her smiling brightly at the both of us.

And Liv's boyfriend of two years.

I smile as I lean over to give him a quick hug before the three of us continue onwards.

"So is our birthday girl having a party tonight?" Ethan asks curious.

"I'm afraid not," I let him down easy as we come closer to the school gates with a sigh.

"What? Why not?" he cries looking over at me, I shrug. "But you're eighteen only once."

"Apparently Ash and Patrick have a surprise for me later tonight and then want to talk to me about something really important," I fill them in.

"You don't think it's going to be about the birds and the bees, do you?" Ethan and I laugh at Liv's idea.

"Nah I got that talk from Miss Tarma remember?" I remind her laughing at how embarrassed Ash had been that day.

I was thirteen years old when I experienced my first period. I had gone to the toilet when I noticed the blood, young me thought I was actually dying.

"Ashy Ashy!" I shouted running down the stairs in a rush. Patrick had been called to work for a week leaving Ash and I at home.

"What's wrong sweetie?" he asks worried rushing out of his office and towards me. I had been crying and he came over and kneeled taking my hands in his. "Tell me what's wrong?"

"I'm.. I'm dying Ashy!" I tell him between my sobs.

"You're what?" Ash had cried trying to wipe my tears from my little face as he looks down at me.

"I'm.. I'm bleeding and that means I'm going to die," I tell him looking up at him.

"Oh honey.." he told me bringing me into his arms for a tight hug. "That's normal for a girl to go through," he says this with a blushing face.

I had stopped crying then and pushed him away, glaring up at him.

"It's normal for a girl to die?!"

Let's just say after an hour of me hiding in my room and another hour of Ash trying to get me to come out, he had rushed me over to our neighbour who happened to be a young woman named Tarma.

I got shown what tampons are and what pads were for, I even got the whole birds and the bees talk just in case and to save the boys from further embarrassment I reckon.

"Oh yeah I remember that now," Liv says nodding her head.

I was just about to make a comment when something happens, a sudden chill which makes the hair on the back of neck stand up and I get the feeling of being watched or something.

I stop suddenly and slowly turn around expecting someone to be there or for someone to jump out and say boo but neither happened. There was no one poking their heads out of the bushes, the road is bare with an occasional car driving past and we were the only ones walking this way.

"What's up Sephie?" Liv asks breaking my concentration on finding whatever it was that had given me the creeps.

"I don't know... I just felt like someone was watching me," I admit but even that sounded stupid to my ears.

Liv laughs as I turn back around spotting Ethan already waiting for us at the entrance further ahead.

"It's just creepy Mary watching us through her windows again," Liv explains pointing the older lady out who is looking out her window in the house beside us. When Mary sees that we've caught her peeking, she closes the blinds with a snap.

"I should've known," I joke with Liv as we continue up the path to meet back up with Ethan before the bell rings.

Ever since her husband died, creepy Mary is always seen by that window. Ash told me that she's never gone outside since and instead watches people all day long, that's how she got the name creepy Mary.

I still couldn't shake the feeling off though even when we were all safely tucked inside the school walls but it was my birthday so instead of letting it ruin my day, I ignored it.

Big mistake that turns out to be.