Chapter 23

Water runs over my body as I scrub away the last traces of him from my skin, especially between my legs. No matter how much I clean myself, his touch still lingers. He's a nightmare I can never wake up from. Never. When this heat is going to go another one will come and it will consume me again.

I'm vulnerable in front of him, in front of my own desires, especially now that I've gotten a taste of what pleasure is.

Even as I scrub, my skin betrays me, yearning for his touch, his taste. My heart aches, and my body burns, but not from the hot water. The need for him has seeped deep. It's a curse I cannot shake away, a chain that shackles me to him.

The fucking mate bond.

It could've been anyone but him, anyone but this monster. Anyone.

I hate him, and yet, part of me still wants him. Wants his touch, his gaze, his possession. No matter what I do, the truth can never change.

I step out of the shower a moment later, the cold air of the room sending shivers down my spine. As I change into a fresh pair of clothes, my hand reaches the nape of my neck. Why wouldn't he not drink from me? Or give me his blood?

I don't understand.

I lie down on the bed, my body still buzzing from the night I've spent with him and the morning. The sun hits right over the window in my room and it falls over the dark walls. Everything is dark in this house, haunted as I assumed first and so are the people living in here.

A knock lands on the door and I quickly sit up straight.

"You're feeling okay?" Estella asks me as she walks in.

I nod, "Yes." I don't know if she knows what has happened or that I wasn't here last night, rather with Zade, in a room.

She was right when she told me not to go to him. She knew him far better than I did. And maybe if I had listened to her, I wouldn't be feeling so jealous...so hurt by him. If I had left him alone, he wouldn't bring another woman in front of me and drunk from her to fulfill his hunger.

"I got you some tea, and a sandwich." She says while walking inside.

"Thank you."

I take the tray from her hands and keep it on the side. Estella stands near to me, eyeing me for a moment before she questions, "You went to him, didn't you?"

"Yeah," I nod. "And it was the worst decision I had ever made."

"Oh, my dear, why?" Her comforting hand comes over my shoulder as worry appears in her tone. She doesn't know anything.

"Because I'm a fool and I thought he'd be forgiving and kind, not that he'd bring another woman in front of me and drink from her." I manage to say, each word tasting bitter on my tongue.

The room falls silent as I let out a shaky breath. When it sinks in, it hurts more. I expect Estella to scold me, to tell me how foolish I've been, but instead, she steps back in surprise.

"He drank from someone?"

I look up at her and nod, "Yes."

Her eyes widen in clear shock. For a moment, she just stares at me in silence. It's something odd and not a reaction I expected from her.

"What is it?" I ask her.

She blinks a few times as if snapping back to reality. Then, with a swift shake of her head, she forces a smile. "Nothing. It's just—surprising that he'd drink from someone else."

"Apparently he does."

It was all just a lie that he didn't drink straight from the source, because he did, right in front of me. He did it and he did it so I could feel jealous, so I could feel the sting of betrayal.

Without saying anything else, Estella nears me and pats my shoulder once more. "I'm sorry."

I swallow hard, pushing back the tears that threaten to spill over. My arms wrap around her and I close my eyes. "I just want to go home," Home. The word stings in my head. This place, this room, it cannot ever be my home. This is nothing more than a cage, a prison for me. "I just want to see my mother one more time. Please, Estella."

I don't know if I have the strength to be here for another day, to play my mate's games, to ruin my own self just to win from him.

"I'll see what I can do."

By the time she leaves the room and when I reach for the tea, it's already cold. I drink it anyways. It's hard to imagine a future with my mate. I don't know how I'm going to live with him, or even survive. I can still feel the jealousy in my bones from earlier and it's not going away.

My wolf doesn't urge me to reach for him anymore. She's silent now. As silent as she can get.

I finish my tea and place the cup back on the tray. The door creaks open and in walks Zade as if he owns the world. His eyes scan the room before settling on me while a smirk dances on his lips. It truly never goes away.

"Pity you're all alone, even in your heat." He says, closing the door behind and walking further in.

"Better than being your presence." I respond, my voice colder than the tea I'd sipped earlier.

"Ouch," He finishes off with a chuckle and nears me. In front of me, he's tall, imposing, and predatory, but I no longer fear him. I hate him. His fingers slip under my chin and he makes me look up at him. "You seem to be furious. Perhaps you'd like some company to help quench all that jealousy."

I stiffen at his words and push his hand away. "I don't need company, Zade. Especially not yours."

"Really? And here I thought you needed your mate during your heat."

"Your mistake," I reply sharply, and meet his gaze. "Why don't you go fuck that woman you drank from?"

"Why not you?"

I purse my lips shut and ease back, holding myself together before I completely snap at him. When I don't give him a response, he chuckles and leaves the room. This is what he wants to do. Torture me. That's all his intentions are.

My fists curl on my side and I remain seated on the bed for a few more minutes. When I finally get up to slam the door shut, I hear something else, something that intrigues me. Voices, of Estella talking to Zade. I quickly step out of the room and listen to them.

Maybe if I can't get through to him, she can, at least about letting me go back home for a while.

At least a few days.

"I did not use any mind control, Estella. I don't see a problem here. No one was harmed, no one died." Zade's voice echoes through the house and it's not brimmed with sarcasm or amusement. It's serious, deadly serious.

"You still drank from a girl, Zade. We both know what this is leading up—"

"It's leading to nothing, nothing at all. It was just one time, and I won't be doing it again. I know that. I can control myself. This is not like before, I know what's right and what's wrong. Nothing is going to happen." He reassures her in a way I've never heard him do.

My brows furrow at their conversation. What's happening? What's wrong?

"I better not hear about your teeth in someone's throat again. If I do, I will raise your mother from her sleep and ensure she manages you. Once she's awake, you know well what's going to happen. All of this—it will not be like this and there'll be a chance where she might even go against—"

"I know, I know," There's no fear in his tone, I can sense it so well. He's scared of something. What is it? "I'm in control. There's no need for anything. It was just once and I won't do it again."

"Good," Estella responds to him. "And there's something else."

"What?" I hear his footsteps moving in circles, he's pacing which means he's worried.

The mighty monster is scared of something.

I'm curious to know more.

"She wants to go to her mother, to check on her," It doesn't take me long to understand that Estella's talking about me. She's really telling him. My heart jumps with joy and hope, and I pray he does agrees. "It's difficult for her to be here when you snatched her away from her family and friends. It will just be a few days and if you want, I can go with her."

"No." His response is stern.

My back presses against the wall behind and I release a suffocated breath. Why not?

"She wants to see if her mother's alive and doing well. You saved her yourself."

"It would be better if she was dead."

"Zade," Estella snaps at him. "Is she alive or not?"

"Who the fuck cares? I don't care if that woman is alive or not and there's no one leaving from here. Especially Aurora. It's over my dead body she'll ever be going back to her mother."

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