~Marr to ek din jaana hi hai,
Tum mil jao to thoda jee lenge.~
                                      -Juan Elia

She never felt this kind of anxiety bubbling inside her gut. Not even when she saw her mother's dead body. Not even at the time when Zahir went back to his house. It was always a surprise for Hamida, how her mother's death and Zahir's absence gave her the same kind of pain. The darkness of loneliness.

Today was her Haldi. She would be married in two days and now Hamida knew she was making an utter mistake.

A terrible, irreversible mistake.

But she had no other options. Because the man who resided in her heart now, had already moved on from her.

Few weeks ago she got the news of Zahir's engagement and everything went into a flurry of sadness around her. The heart that unknowingly mended itself in Zahir's vicinity, broke into fine pieces just imagining him with some other woman.

She was all along right when she used to say men do always lie. Because this man, who boasted his love for her in every second, easily moved on from her just because she didn't reciprocate his love.

Nani and Raaya brought some marriage proposals and Hamida did the very first thing that came to her mind. Quickly accepted the very first proposal that came and put a condition in front of Nani that she wanted marriage as soon as possible.

She had the opinion that the wedding and its preparations would put her mind off Zahir but that whole thing put that man permanently in her mind. She would be stuck in his thoughts, in a faint eddie of what ifs.

A faint knock at her room brought her to present and she turned to look at Raaya who gave a warm smile seeing her.

“You're looking beautiful, MashaAllah!”

Raaya placed a kiss on her forehead. Her own skin glowed and Hamida knew it was all Idris' and his love and care. Seeing them all this time, Hamida used to crave their kind of love. A love that suddenly found them. But she had no idea what awaited her.

Her groom and his family were proper orthodox. So the groom, whose name was Ather, denied meeting her before their marriage. As if she was dying to meet him. The ladies from his house came and fixed their marriage.

“I'm making a great mistake, Raaya.”

Her voice wobbled as Raaya sat on her knees, in front of her, “Why? What happened?”

“I can't put that anxiety away from me. Everything is going downhill… I won't be happy…”

Raaya shook her head and shushed her, “Everything is fine, Hamida. This is all your decision but you still have time. Tell me and we will take a way out.”

“Did you feel the same when you were getting married to Idris?”

“I wasn't marrying Idris. My groom was Kashif and I was double panicked at that time. I knew how he was and I was just accepting my fate.” Raaya squeezed her hands, Hamida’s eyes turned blurry, “But marriage with Idris made me free from so many fears and inhibitions.”

Hamida took a long sigh, “I don't know what's in my destiny.”

“Leave that on destiny. It gives you what's best for you.”

Her phone beeped and Hamida knew who it would be. The man surely moved on but never forgot to check on her. Didn’t know was it safe to call it moving on? Many times Hamida left his messages on seen, sometimes even yelled at him reminding him of his fiancee but Zahir was one adamant guy.

“I'm going to check on Idris. Mr. Husband went to buy some flower jewelry for me.”

Hamida nodded and picked up her phone.

Zahir: How's the Haldi bride?

That message was enough to burn her mind in anger.

***

Zahir bit his lower lip as he knew his woman would be fuming in anger. Raaya had just sent him Hamida’s picture where she looked beautiful to say the least. Yellow gharara with golden gota work, that was all his choice and was designed by Raaya. Her head was covered with her dupatta but it was not enough to hide the beauty of her.

Her eyes looked furrowed as she glared at her phone, just when Raaya had clicked the picture. Zahir cleared his throat to wipe out his mind of every thought of Hamida, which was not easy, and focused on the task at hand as his phone beeped with a new message.

Hamida: Happy as every bride should be.

A laugh escaped him over her quick reply. He glanced once more in the mirror, he went for a simple look of yellow kurta paired with white jacket. According to Hamida’s preference, he had kept everything simple, minimal and intimate. The guest list was not too long, few people from his family and Hamida’s family. Just what Hamida liked.

Zahir: Missing me?

Hamida: Why would I? And don’t you have a fiancee to entertain? Like seriously, Zahir, we shouldn’t be talking like this. It’s wrong, I’m getting married in a few days.

Woah! That went too far.

Idris came inside with a knock and chuckled seeing his confused expressions, “Problem with missus?”

They had rented out a house for all the wedding preparations, Nikah was bound to happen in a marriage hall. His heart beat at a different rhythm whenever he thought of his dreams that were soon to turn into reality. Hamida would be his bride. His better half!

“She’s one stubborn soul. Never going to confess.” Zahir gave a silent groan, “She doesn’t want to talk to me now because she’s getting married.”

“Well that’s a lady with a dignified character for you.”

“Can’t agree more and I’m proud of her, but,” A helpless laugh left him, “I’m her husband to be! What am I supposed to do?”

Idris clapped his shoulder, “Respect her decision and be patient.”

Zahir: Fine Hamida. We’ll meet if life permits.

Several moments passed but there was no reply from Hamida and he put his phone away to run from the anticipation of checking it every second. Meanwhile, he left his room to meet his family and got blessings from his parents who were ecstatic to see him. They had hosted a small dinner for Hamida’s family as they would come for the Haldi ceremony.

As he sat on the living room sofa, the beep tone from his phone pushed his heartbeats to a new horizon and her reply was enough to push a smile on his face.

Hamida: Drama king!

***

“I'm so happy to see you, Raaya.”

It was her first time after her mother's death that she was meeting Zahir's mother, Sadiqua phupho. She never hated them but her father's deeds had tainted every relation from his side.

“Same here, phupho!”

She said, in a earnest way, gently wiping tears from phupho’s eyes. She hadn't changed much. Even the way she talked, a thick accent of UP.

They had come to Zahir's house for the Haldi ceremony. It was a different kind of happiness, the person with whom you grew up, was about to get married. Though their marriage was too different and adventurous on another level, she never felt this kind of happy.

She was, though, also a kind of skeptical thinking about the time when Hamida would get to know the whole truth. The very thing her sister hated were liars and they all did the same thing with her. Lied about everything. Raaya was just praying in her heart that all would settle easily so that Hamida could enjoy a happy married life, just what she deserved after everything.

Phupho caressed her head and then looked beside her where Idris was watching both of them with genuine interest.

The man who was another reason for her happiness, who fulfilled all his promises of spoiling her. He brought her some five dresses for the whole wedding with all the accessories for each dress. Right now she was wearing a dark pink umbrella frock that had gold embellishments all over it.

Raaya never liked prepping herself up that much but now, she got ready only for Idris. Because she loved seeing how his eyes brighten every time he looked at her when she wore something he bought for her. Just like right now, she was wearing the rose flower jewelry he bought.

“You must be Idris.” Phupho kissed his forehead, blessing him in urdu, “Come, let's have dinner. We were waiting for you.”

Raaya was about to move towards the kitchen to help Sadiqua phupho when Idris held her hand and slowly began to drag her away from everyone. He stopped near a stranded area, closed the door quickly, coming inside one dark room.

“Idris what are you-” He shushed her placing a finger on her lips making her shudder in his proximity. She couldn't make out where they were as it was dark, only the light coming from a small window beside her, was helping her to decipher his face.

“I wanted to steal you away for a few seconds because I didn't get the time to properly say something to you.”

“What?”

People would have seen them. She mentally facepalmed. They were not teenagers but Idris surely behaved like one, most of the time.

“That you're looking beautiful and I'm unable to take my eyes off you and when we will reach our home, I'll just…”

Her cheeks burnt with his innuendo whispers as all the thoughts about people vanished replaced by mental images of Idris' words.

“You're one horrible person, Idris.”

Raaya giggled, taking his face in her hands and placing a long kiss on his lips and then quickly running out of the room. If she would've stayed there some more, maybe people would've came searching for them because Idris was in no mood to let her go. And that thought was enough to move dozens of butterflies inside her.

***

They had just reached their home and he was waiting for his woman in their room while Raaya and Mum filled his father with all the activities in the Haldi ceremony. Well, Papa had a last minute meeting with one of the clients so he had to drop the plan of coming to the festivities so now his wife was telling him all that happened.

Not that he was complaining. He was kind of happy with their bond and all but he was desperate. Not in a wrong sense. Idris had planned a little surprise for her. And that's why he wanted her to come soon.

The Haldi ceremony went great and he was happy for Hamida and Zahir despite the fear that resided in him about hiding the truth from Hamida. Idris felt a protective kind of tug for Hamida as anyone would feel for their younger sister, the same feelings that maybe Raaya possessed. And he knew she was one stubborn soul who wouldn't let herself be happy just because of her own ego so that was needed, whatever they were doing!

The door clicked in place as he looked up from his phone at Raaya who slipped the dupatta from her head and gave him a small smile, putting her bag on the corner chair.

“An eventful day, isn't it?”

She chirped, taking a seat near him on the bed with a sigh and Idris got lost in her fragrance and the way she slowly began to open her hair.

“Raaya…” He cleared his throat, removing his gaze from the small mole near her lips, “I've a surprise for you!”

Her features washed with a shade of happiness and confusion as she searched his face for genuineness.

“Seriously?”

“Yes, come with me.”

Idris made her sit on one of the sofas and brought the bowl of turmeric, keeping it near the center table, getting a giggle out of her.

“Just when I was thinking that we didn't get our own Haldi ceremony.”

He chuckled, putting a little blob on her cheeks, “We were thinking the same thing then.”

“What else do couples do in their Haldi ceremony?” Raaya applied a little bit on his face, placing a barely there kiss on his forehead.

“I've no idea. Maybe dance, eat and enjoy themselves.”

He put a slow dance music for them and gave his hand to Raaya which she quickly held. Her warmth was enough for his blood to reach a new octave, his hands gently grabbed her waist. She placed her hands on his chest, and got to know how his heart beat in her vicinity.

They moved together on the rhythm, her blue eyes crinkling at the edges as she gave him a beautiful smile, Idris couldn't help but get drowned in them, “You know our wedding night, Raaya?”

Raaya nodded so he continued, “When you looked up for the first time, I forgot to breathe. I never saw someone with blue eyes and I think I never knew that it looked so beautiful.” His words filled with truth as he remembered their exchange and how he regretted it now because of his carelessness.

Her arms moved towards his neck as she stood on her tiptoes. The music and her faint fragrance of roses enveloping him in its mesmerism, their lips were just inches apart, “You’re a beautiful person, Idris. That's why you see beauty in everything.”

She ended her words on his lips and Idris tightly held her, reciprocating her kiss, “Thanks for bringing out that part of me. Never thought I was able to love someone until you happened.”

Raaya rested her head on his chest, slowly nuzzling it, “Never knew love looked this amazing until you happened.” as Idris kissed her head, overwhelmed with her confession.

She felt drowsy in his arms, tired with all the happening of the day so he carried her up in his arms as she fuddled closer to him and came to their bed.

“Whatever you had in your mind, I would compensate for it, soon…” her arms were still around his neck when he put her to bed, her sleepy voice tickling his insides. He was a goner!

“Yeah, baby.” He placed a kiss on her cheek, and then on her neck, reprimanding himself to hold back else he wouldn't stop, “I'll wait.”

He slowly peeled himself off Raaya, bringing a wet towel to brush down that turmeric paste from her skin and lay down beside her, looking at her peaceful sleeping face.

So many emotions held his heart and he didn't have enough words to portray them. Love was always a foreign word for him but now with Raaya Sultan it seemed like it was the most magical thing. The emotion that kept him grounded yet on cloud nine. A different kind of energy that made him crazy yet peaceful.