Content Warning: The last part can be a little intense for some. Read at your own risk. Mention of Domestic Abuse, Violence.

~Hum bane the tabah hone ko,
Tera milna to ek bahana tha.~

Raaya huffed and picked up the tea tray, making way to their room. She felt weird, somewhat shy going in front of Idris. Not his fault, but because of what she wore today.

A pastel pink saree. One that Nani prepared as one of the gifts of her wedding. She remembered Hamida grumbling, as Nani and Raaya embroidered the whole fabric with Chikankari. They did all of it thinking of Kashif and his choices, not knowing it would be Idris at the other end altogether.

Two days after she returned home, she noted how Idris tried to maintain a respectable distance from her. No bed sharing. Talked only when needed. But he smiled. Smiled a lot. Whenever their eyes met, she would see the corners of his mouth lifting. It gave comfort to her.

Raaya silently walked to the bed, trying to guess if Idris was awake or not. His arm hid his eyes. Maybe the noise of her bangles gave the news of her arrival as Idris moved his arm. His eyes went on a journey of surprise, shock and then adoration.

"It's my first time seeing you in a saree?"

She didn't know he would acknowledge it so soon. Her face heated with his words and those eyes that grazed her features. She nodded, handing him the cup, their fingers brushing lightly.

"I thought of fixing a head massage for you."

Raaya cleared out seeing Idris' questioning gaze on the bowl of oil.

At her home, she wore a saree every other day. She resembled her mother a lot, in a saree, that's what Nani used to say. But right now only confusion clouded her mind. Her heart jumped at its place feeling Idris' gaze on her but she didn't want to feel that emotion after everything that happened between them.

"Not a need, Raaya." Idris kept the cup beside him, "I'm feeling fresh after seeing you."

Leaving Raaya to count her running heartbeats, Idris walked away towards the cupboard.

"You can sleep on the bed, Idris. You're not comfortable there."

She could see each morning, how most of his time went to straighten out his neck muscles.

"And you think I'll be comfortable sharing a bed with you?"

A question! Simple and straight but it brought so many insecurities back. The judgmental eyes of every proposal that came for her, the boredom in Kashif's eyes whenever he saw her and Idris' words of the first night. Everything that made her feel dirty. As if, her past gave her that filth. Her father sent it out for her.

"No. I'll sleep on the sofa."

Picking up the last fragments of her self respect, she said.

Idris shook his head with a smile, standing just a feet away from her. His slight stubble made him look tired as those drowsy eyes gossiped about his not so good sleep.

"No. The bed is yours. I can't think of sharing a bed with you now, Raaya…" He moved a hand in his hair, messing it up, "I can't trust myself around you. I'm doing a good job by sleeping in the same room."

Some sentences proved to be a bucket of water. That's what Raaya felt. As some of her insecurities washed away with his confession, tainting her cheeks pink in their wake.

***

"What are you doing here?"

Hamida put out the bundles of lace on the counter, meanwhile trying to glare at Zahir.

Wearing a off-white pathani suit and a thin kohl in his eyes, the sign of his Friday preparation, he looked lethal yet irritating in her eyes. His dark hair was messed up and a little wet.

"Thought of picking you up from work." His lips turned up in a smile, that damn thing proved to be an oil to the fire of her anger.

"I'm not done–"

"Your shift is done for today, bachcha!"

She would never regret Safdar uncle's endearing nature like tonight. From evening, it again started to drizzle and slowly it changed to heavy rainfall. The reason Zahir stood in front of her.

"It's dangerous to go out in this rainfall."

A chuckle left him, "Says the girl who travels alone in the dark, rainy night." She threw a warning glare at the helper girl, Sara, on her snicker, "That's why I brought an auto-rickshaw for you. No need to worry."

He came with full preparation. Hamida had no excuse but to obey him without making any scene in her shop.

She got into the auto rickshaw with a shade of umbrella over her head. She hated to admit it, but Zahir always made her feel like a queen of some kingdom.

"Will you miss me when I'm not here, Hamida?"

"Why? Where are you going?"

Their voices muffled with the pitter patter of the water over the roof and the traffic around them.

"My home." Something heavy dropped in her gut and she tried to ignore that feeling by looking at the droplets of rain on the glass. "Once this course is over."

"Never", she furrowed her brows, "I'll offer a prayer of gratitude that you left me."

Amusement danced on Zahir's face while she looked out to hide her flamed cheeks on his gaze.

"So why are there tears in your eyes?."

Hamida took a long sigh, "Get an eye checkup, Zahir. You're seeing too much."

"No check up for seeing the truth."

There are some times in your life when you feel some emotions too extreme. Anger, happiness, sadness and this time, Hamida could only feel one thing, fear. Fear of Zahir. The way he read her like an open book. And mixed with the fear of that terrible feeling. Missing Zahir once he would be gone.

"Stop…I SAID STOP."

In five minutes she would reach her house but she couldn't be near Zahir for one moment after those confusing emotions started surfacing her mind.

"Where are you going?"

"Away from you."

Hamida moved more away from the vehicle because her vicinity seemed to be suffocating her.

***

Idris put the white shirt inside the bag and turned, only to be stopped by a surprised looking Raaya at the threshold.

“Are you going somewhere?”

“Yes.” Idris smiled, taking the cup from her hand as she followed him slowly, “There’s an important meeting at Delhi. If all will be good, we can open our third factory, now in Delhi.”

Raaya didn’t say anything, her face looked pale as if her energy got sucked in an instant.

“Are you okay, Raaya?”

“Yes…yes. I’m totally fine.”

“Is something bothering you?”

She shook her head, her smile too fake to cover up her lie.

“How long is the trip?”

“Two days. I’ll leave today and will come back the day after tomorrow morning.” Idris packed his bag and found Raaya rooted to her spot, her fingers fidgeting together.

He just wanted to have that slight hope, that his absence would bother her just like him, that’s why she looked sad but false hope always led to something grave, he had seen it. A nagging feeling rested over his heart on the thought of leaving Raaya, on not being able to feel her presence.

“I can drop you at Nani’s, if you want.”

Again she shook her head, “I’ll be here. Do you need any help in packing?”

"Papa was saying, I should take you with me but I…" Idris didn't know how to continue, "You won't be comfortable, I guess."

Raaya nodded, her eyes lost as if she wasn't even listening. "You could have asked me."

"I thought asking you will make you uncomfortable."

"Always making assumptions." 

Her mumble brought a faint smile over his lips as she moved towards the dresser. First time seeing her annoyance, Idris could admit she looked too cute. She arranged the things on the dresser in haste.

Raaya looked mature, elegant and beautiful in his eyes but he never thought he would add cute in her praise list.

"Are you going to miss me, Raaya?"

Keeping a firm fist around his heart, Idris asked. She could hurt him or make him the happiest man in the world. Their reflection in the mirror looked soothing.

"I don't think so."

"Good, you're staying here. Think about me when I'm gone, maybe you'll find something."

***

Her surroundings became silent all of a sudden and all she could hear were screams. Those painful, shrill screams that cut through every curtain. Those screams that could shake earth and sky and yet she had no idea what to do.

She threw the last bucket of water over her mother and yet the fire didn't leave. Her mind filled with shock and hurt and she just wanted to save her mother. Raaya still couldn't believe it was their own father.

It was him who burned her mother alive and locked Raaya with her in the house. There was only one thing she could do now. She ran to other room and covered her mother with a blanket.

By the time the neighbours came breaking the door and took them to the hospital, her mother was taking shallow breaths and Raaya had lost her ability to speak.

Now she would only pray for her mother and didn't think about anything else. But it wouldn't be easy because that scene would be etched in her mind till her death. Her mother in fire, crying and screaming for help.