We arrived approximately half an hour later to an unknown place surrounded by dark forest. Nick pulled over by the roadside and texted his team. G-Wagon guy arrived 10 minutes later with Chubby Jason Statham whom I know now as Cane (I love Chubby Jason Statham better, mentioning that his name is mouthful and exciting, like a tongue twister). They came in with three more vehicles behind them. The same G-Wagon I saw back at Heald Glove pulled over in front of us while the rest took over and left. Cane came out from the passenger seat walking towards us.

"What is she doing here?" Cane looked at me perplexed as Nick got out of the car.

"Relax, she's not coming," Nick assured. "She's gonna stay here."

"Either way, she's a risk," Cane grunted.

Nick turned to me, reminded me to stay put. "It might take an hour," he said. "We won't be long or else we might get caught or being watched."

                   🌟✨🍀⭐🌟✨🍀⭐

I fell asleep halfway waiting for Nick and his team to finish his job and was woken up to a few knockings on the window screen on my side. I groggily unlocked the car and let Nick in.

"They left?" I yawned. "What did I miss?"

"Nothing much except for a few fractured Kalashnikovs. So, we'll send them back," he answered flatly.

I perked up to the name 'Kalashnikov'. I craned my neck, looking behind to check if some were stored in this car but Nick affirmed that the rifles were not inside the car. Then, we headed out of the forest and into the M55 motorway when Nick had an idea of taking a detour to Blackpool. Nick had another Lauv's song 'I like Me Better' played on the audio while he was humming to the chorus. He must have had Lauv's album on replay.

"Aren't you feeling tired, as in lack of sleep?" I asked.

"I'm well-rested every day," Nick said softly. "I don't come out at night every day. There are times I just lay low and check up on the warehouse occasionally. How about you? How are you getting along with your job?"

"The job so far went well and I'm able to cope with it," I answered briefly.

We arrived Blackpool approximately 10 minutes later, approaching Cleethorpes where the sight of the promising beach was vaguely seen. The surrounding North Promenade looked mysteriously sombre with streetlights illuminating the quiet road in bright orange colour.

Nick parked his car at a car park space facing the beach before turning the engine off. He took the emptied Redbull cans and got out of the car, closing the door shut. He went around to the boot of the car to take out a purple thermal blanket before giving it to me.

I wrapped the thermal blanket around me before getting out of the car to follow him. The cold onshore draft blew mildly on my face, brushing off my fringe to the sides, tickling my ear. We sat by a bench, enjoying the quiet night while he began to light his cigarette to smoke.

I stared at the rippling ocean rolling into the dark abyss where the sound of waves lapping gently to a tempo. The absence of the moon dulls the dark sky leaving traces of speckled starlight to shine on their own. I fastened the blanket around me while Nick flickered the ash into the empty can and resume smoking. We quietly stared at the horizon for 20 minutes straight enjoying the susurrus of ocean murmuring.

"Do you come here often?" I turned to him.

"Most of the time, right after we're done doing it," Nick confessed casually which I understood immediately he meant killing his target. "It helps to clear my mind and reflect on the things that I've done."

"Do some of them deserve to die?" I braved another question.

"Some of them don't but those were not our call," he replied and gestured at the dark horizon in front of us. "When I see those rippling oceans out there, images of my kill would wash away with it."

"I'm just intrigued by how you guys operate. How much immunity, power and protection bestowed upon you and to what extent?" I finally asked while concealing the core to my intention.

"You're not stupid enough to think greener grass on the other side, are you?" Nick exhaling the smoke out. "You think you can become one of us just because you have a record of overstaying in this country and initiated a brawl inside a campus?"

"Should I prove myself then?" I raised my voice, feeling ridiculed.

"What else to prove when you flinched to the sound of a gunshot?" he argued.

"I'll get used to it."

"This is no Kingsman film or GTA or PubG," he advised. "You can't exit this shit whenever you think you're done playing. When you're in it, you're in it forever. Hate it or love it, you and your loved ones will wake up to death threats every day. Some of us never asked to be in, we're born with it. I don't want you to be in this shithole just because you need security. You're so much better than this, Zahida. If the protection you seek, then protection I will give you."

"But I was just –"

"Promise me you should never speak of this anymore," he said firmly.

I didn't answer. The anxiety in the tone of his voice implied that he cared for me as a person. Nick's sudden benign but firm manner made me realise that I was in a safe place, something that Abs had failed to provide. Nick valued me as a person, something that Abs had failed to see. Yet it was entirely conceivable that he opted to join the brute gang he didn't want me to be a part of, knowing the consequences would be lethal.

I was unable to see thug life the way Nick pictured it. All I saw was the ability to own his invincibility and to instil fear in Abs' eyes. Is it worth it? Once the party's over, once Abs becomes intimidated by me, once I pull a trigger to his head, what's next? Terrorising people? No. After I'm done with Abs, I want out. And by that time, everything will be too late. I quickly re-evaluated my choices, weighing the cost of my time and the cost of my life.

"We can come here again some other day, when the sun is up," I nudged him playfully to which he gave a little nod. "We could walk around the beach, have a couple of soda-slash-beer like good friends."

"Nope, I am still your boss," he chuckled.