Hey, folks! Begging your pardon
'Scuse me, sorry to barge in
Now let's skip the tears and start on the whole

Y'know
Being dead thing

You're doomed, enjoy the singing
The sword of Damocles is swinging

And if I hear your cell-phone ringing
I'll kill you myself
The whole being dead thing

So don't be freaked
Stay in your seats
I do this bullshit, like, eight times a week
So just relax, you'll be fine
Drink your fifty-dollar wine

And take a breath

The whole-
The whole being dead thing!

I…I’ll be your guide

To the other side…

Nobody is bullet-proof!

“I work out, I eat clean!”

Jesus, pass the Dramamine

There’s no destiny or fate
Just a terrifying wait

Filled with people that you hate

That’s the thing with life:
No-one makes it out alive!
Toss that body in the pit

“Gosh, it’s awful, ain’t it tragic?”
“Blah, blah, Bible. Jesus magic.”
When you’re dead, who gives a shit?
No pilates, no more yoga!

“Namaste”, you frickin’ posers
From the cradle to cremation

Death just needs a little conversation!
I have mastered the art
Of tearing convention apart

So, how about we all make a start

On the whole being dead thing!