i sound so desperate because i am

it's in the middle of the night when you're texting me. you admit that you drink a glass of vodka with your friends. feel a little bit tipsy. i don't mind. that's just what you used to do. you tell me; love is universal. love doesn't know boundaries. love is for all.

you think you're funny. but your pullout leads to my never-ending pilgrimage. i ain't the best at confrontation you should've known. yet, you're living for it. the rhetorical question; why you don't even have the guts to talk to me in person? 

we haven't talked since you were away. i keep guessing how's your life going. because i live in misery; scrolling back to our conversation. reminiscing our good ol' time together. cry a river after that. and repeat.