
Chapter 17 - Where Are You?
By the time Brittney reaches the outskirts of Denver, she's beyond ready to handle the fallout that's coming because of her decision. She arrives and meets the morning shift ticket attendant, where she rushes to get her credit card out.
"May I help you?" The male attendant asks.
"One way to Atlanta, please."
"Sure, just let me see what we have available."
While Brittney's on the lamb, back in Tender Springs, Jordan's in a flashback dream from his service in the Middle East.
"We got..." Sergeant Cofield stops dead in his tracks when he sees Sabrina strung out in the corner of the room. She's dead and naked with stab wounds all over her body. Blood covers the corner floor as he recalls and sends Sergeant Cofield into a rage of pure fury.
"BASTARDS!" Jordan replays him crying out, taking his sidearm from his holster as Lawrence charges into the next room emptying the magazine.
"Lawrence, wait!" Jordan remembers yelling as he follows behind, firing his sidearm to help kill the rest of the men fighting the Marines.
As he continues to toss and turn in a cold sweat, Jordan's mind takes things further than he remembers. He sees everything covered in blood. He tries to wipe himself clean, but the blood gets thicker and stickier. Jordan's breathing becomes heavier and erratic, but he turns to see Lawrence standing there, no longer holding his sidearm. He's now evolved into this half-man, half-submachine gun creature that's spraying bullets everywhere in every direction. Jordan's frozen in place, and soon he turns his head to see that they're somehow transported from the battle to being home, and all around, everyone he knows and loves is dead at his feet.
Their bodies continue to pile further into the air. Jordan tries to reach out for them, but all he can do is barely lift his arms from the weight of the blood as it begins to pulse with his heartbeat that now rings in his ears.
"STOP! MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE STOP DYING EVERYONE! I CAN'T SAVE YOU!" Jordan screams with his eyes shut after he notices that Brittney's face is staring back at him.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He shrieks as everything goes dark, and he hears them all scream in agony one final time.
Out of the nightmare, Jordan sits up in the bed, breathing heavily. He's shaking and has drenched the bed in a cold sweat. Jordan reaches over for Brittney and doesn't feel her body there and freaks out. He leaps out of bed and runs through the house, checking the kitchen, living room and bursting into the bathroom to try to find the love of his life. Jordan's mind hasn't caught up to reality yet, as there's a slight red tint to everything.
It isn't until Jordan yells before running out in the snow that it startles Lucinda and Logan. Afraid of what's going on, Logan gets to his feet and darts through the house to discover the front door wide open. Logan slips on a pair of slippers and a jacket to find Jordan standing outside with no coat or any kind of footwear.
"Jordan! Jordan!" He calls out, "what's wrong?"
A bit of relief comes to Jordan's mind when he hears his cousin's voice.
"Logan, Logan, where are you? I'll find you!" Jordan cups his hands over his mouth as he calls out to him.
"Jordan, I'm behind you. Are you okay?" Logan says as he doesn't move any closer to him.
Faster than the blink of an eye, Jordan turns around to see his cousin and Lucinda standing in the doorway. That's the moment Jordan's mind reconnects to reality and falls to his knees.
"Whoa! Hey, it's okay bub, I got you!" Logan states and crouches down to catch his cousin before he falls face-first into the snow.
"Sorry, I had a dream, and I guess it got the better of me after I couldn't find Britt anywhere in the house." He says with each deep breath.
Lucinda overhears the comment and returns inside the house. That's where she notices that none of Brittney's belongings are still there. It dawns that during the night, she must have left. Lucinda's not the only one who's noticed things aren't right. While still with Jordan, Logan sees some more footprints in the snow that lead out to the driveway and a faint set of tire tracks.
"That two-timing hussy! She bolted in the middle of the night!" Logan thinks to himself.
Logan helps Jordan get back to his feet and guides him back into the house, where Jordan takes a seat on the couch. Lucinda returns with a glass of ice water. She offers it to Jordan, and he doesn't waste time gulping it down, continuing to get his mind straightened out.
"Thank you, did you find Brittney?"
"Honey, she left sometime last night. I hope she's okay, but she's not here. Are you okay?" Lucinda tells Jordan with concern in her eyes.
"Yeah, I'm good, thank you, please don't lose any sleep over me. Y'all can go back to bed. I'm fine, just a dream that caught me off guard pretty good this time."
Lucinda gives Jordan a quick and light hug before taking Logan by his hand back into their bedroom. Once the door is shut, she turns to him with something she's kept to herself.
"I think being here and all this family stuff and me being pregnant spooked that poor girl. Every time I felt like she looked at me, she saw her future, and she didn't want what we have, but Jordan does, you know."
"She's a cold-hearted bitch. I know that!" Logan begins, "she crept out of here in the middle of the night and can't even leave a note or anything else. Fucking good riddance is all I have to say!"
Lucinda gives her husband a stern glance, and Logan knows to cool his jets and ditch the attitude.
"I hear you. I'll sit with Jordan, you though little missy, you need to get some more sleep for that little one. I love you, Lucy." Logan leans in to kiss his wife and helps get her comfy back in bed before he heads out to check on Jordan.
Back out in the living room, Jordan and Logan talk for a little bit. Logan goes over things and gently tries to let Jordan know that Brittney just split.
"Man, I know this is hard as I can see how much you love this girl, but Jordan, I don't think she's the right one for you, cuz. I know you want that great love story, but I don't feel that it's with her."
"I've never loved a woman before in my life. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel right now. I feel lost, and I always wanted to avoid this feeling." Jordan expresses with a tear in his left eye.
"I can't even begin to describe it, bubby. What I have with Lucy doesn't compare to what you feel for Britt. Every love is different and unique, which makes love so special and rare these days. Everyone is caught up with sex, and games, and all this crazy shit that no one stops to truly think what happens when we aren't on the same page." Logan tries to explain in a calm tone.
All Jordan can do is sit there and attempt to recall all the warning signs. He can see one, maybe two, things, but Brittney has covered herself so well, or he's paid such little attention that he can't believe how blind he's been.
"I guess then I brought this upon myself. Britt tried to tell me about her past, and I didn't hear it. I mean, she kept reminding me that we shouldn't be serious, and I thought being here and proposing with the scenery was perfect. That it would persuade her, but I was only fooling myself."
"Hey, we all make mistakes, but it's how we respond to those mistakes is that helps us to build a better, stronger bridge," Logan advises with a huff afterward in frustration.
"Yeah, but hey, go get some rest. I'm good, I promise. I'll settle for some TV or something. Go, spend time with Lucinda before that baby gets here." Logan replies with a fake smile and a fist bump to his cousin.
Logan takes his leave as Jordan heads back to the guest bedroom to get some dry clothes and the blanket from the bed. Once he sees the light is out in the master bedroom, he pulls out his phone to call Brittney. When it goes straight to voicemail, he leaves her a message.
"Hey Brittney, it's me. I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for all of this. I guess I wasn't thinking of you when I came up with all of this, and now, you're gone. Baby, I don't want you to go. I promise we'll do things your way from now on. I love you, and I'm willing to do anything for you to keep you. I'll even stop the whole Brit-Brat bit! Please, when you get this, call me back. I need to hear your voice and know you're okay. I love you, bye doll, baby." Jordan confirms his voicemail message and leaves the phone in his lap.
His attention turns towards the TV and channel surfing until his eyes grow heavy and begin to droop to the point he passes out on the couch. He's left undisturbed when Lucinda and Logan wake up a few hours later and see him lying there.
"Poor guy, I feel so bad for him. Is there anything we can do?" Lucinda wonders with her eyes locked onto Jordan.
"I wish we could, but all we can do is support him and try to keep his mind right while he's here. I'll uh, I'll do what I can to keep him busy until he leaves, but he'll be fine. It's his first-time feeling heartache and this kind of misery."
"Love can be such a bitch and a cruel one at that!" Lucinda states as she takes Logan's hand and reels him in for a hug with a new appreciation for her growing family.
It takes a few more hours for Jordan to wake up. After Jordan's eyes adjust, and pick up the phone to see no messages from Brittney. Jordan does notice a text message from his mother asking how it all went, but at first, he's hesitant to reply. He takes the blanket back to the guest bedroom to use it as an excuse to call his mother.
"Hey, kid! How's it out there in the bitter cold?" She begins in a lighthearted tone.
After a slight sniffle, Jordan begins to break the news to his mother.
"Brittney's gone. She up and left in the middle of the night. I took her out at the perfect time and asked her to marry me. She said no and took off. I don't know what to do now; mom, I'm lost without her."
Lara's blown away by the news and sits there for a moment with a hand over her mouth.
"I, uh, I'm sorry, sweetie, if I knew what to say, I'd say it." There's a momentary pause, "maybe she had cold feet, and she'll come back. She might out shopping in town with the girls or something?"
"No, Britt left, like she got her shit, and she's gone!"
"Oh..." she collects her next thought, "I know this isn't your thing, but give her some space. She's a character, you know, so just give her what she needs in some space and let her breathe. Maybe she's not ready to fully settle down just yet."
"Yeah, maybe, I guess when I get home, I'll uh, I'll return the ring and try to give her some space like you said. I have no clue what to do or say right now, but I didn't want you not to have any news." Jordan explains with the hole in his heart beginning to swell.
"Well, this is certainly newsworthy. Again, I am sorry to hear that Brittney bailed on you. It might be a blessing in disguise. Better now than in say ten years with kids and a mortgage and whatnot."
"Yeah...maybe...anyway, Ma, I'm going to jump off here and get some breakfast and figure out something to do for the day. I'll be home soon enough."
Lara doesn't say anything as she's gone from a state of shock to mother mode. She wants to get her hands around Brittney to wring her neck. Shortly after that sensation strikes, she calms herself down to focus that she can't do anything to jeopardize her career.
"Love ya, mom, I'll be there when I get home, bye."
"Bye, love you too, son, be safe coming home."
The call comes to an end, and Jordan returns to the kitchen, where he's asked what he likes for breakfast.
"It's time for food, and the kitchen's wide open to anything you'd like," Lucinda mentions, willing to cook.
"Tell you what, you're a momma-to-be, so why not let me cook for you two. Consider it a gift, and let me show you how we cook in the South." Jordan offers as he takes the pans hanging from the cabinets.
"You're our guest, and I don't mind; besides Logan is an okay cook, but I'm better at it." Lucinda jokes as Logan gives her a snarky look.
"I could use the distraction, please, let me cook. It takes my mind off things." Jordan says as he takes the pans and then heads over to the refrigerator.
Jordan whips up some southern-style cinnamon and vanilla French toast within twenty minutes with scrambled eggs, hickory smoked bacon, sausage links, and wedged sliced grapefruit.
"Breakfast is finished and ready!" He calls out from the kitchen table.
Lucinda and Logan inhale the scent of it all. The smell even brings Elizabeth and Kaitlin from their deep slumber from the second guestroom from the rear of the house.
"Oh, that smells divine!" Elizabeth mentions smacking her lips and running her hands through her hair.
"We completely forgot about you two!" Logan says as he looks over to Lucinda and Logan.
"I can make more, take time to wake up and catch them up on what's happened. Again, I need to be distracted, and well, good to know some of us are heavy sleepers." Jordan remarks the last bit to himself.
Elizabeth and Kaitlin listen as they're brought up to speed. They're not surprised that they slept through all the excitement as Kaitlin breaks down how they could avoid the drama.
"Well, goes to show, after all the years of you and daddy fighting, or daddy and M.J. battling it out that we slept through it. This is nothing compared to some of our shit storms." Kaitlin explains with a blank stare.
"Katie! Watch your mouth, and yeah, I hate to admit it, but we're so used to worse. I'm sorry, Jordan, at how she left; Brittney's a snowflake anyways. Breakfast is wonderful!" Elizabeth says as she doesn't change her tone to being shocked from her casual voice.
Elizabeth explains how she caught her ex-husband having a threesome in their bed when returning from her mother's funeral.
"Wow! That's horrible to hear. I guess I don't have it half as bad as you have. Thank God, no disrespect or anything," Jordan says.
Jordan is left with a new appreciation for how easy it was for Brittney to walk away compared to what he's just heard. After listening to the horror that's been Elizabeth's life, he tries to find hope for himself.
It isn't until after he's finished cleaning up and washing everything that he hears his phone ding with a new notification. He takes it from his pocket and reads it silently.
I am sorry for leaving. I can't do this any longer. I do love you, Jordan, but I am not 'in love' with you. I'm not sure if you get that or not... He pauses and scrolls down to the next message as it's long. I can't marry you. I'm not ready for any of that anymore. I don't want kids yet, if even at all. It kills me to say this, but I don't want you like that anymore. I want my freedom, and I promise we'll pick this back up one day but not today... He stops as the message breaks again.
Please, just leave me alone and give me some space. When I am ready, I will find you. Have a good trip home, and until then goodbye-Brittney aka ex Brit-Brat
Defeated by it all, Jordan shoves the phone back into his left rear pocket. He continues to suffer in silence as he wraps up the remaining time with his cousin and the rest of the family until he returns the Jeep to the rental service and boards the plane alone.
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