The cab pulled up outside of a tall brick building. The night had drowned the building in darkness. A small porch light was the only source of light for a block. Iron railing leads up the cracked cement steps to the front door that was painted an ugly burgundy color. Lights shown through a few windows in the building that did not have their curtains drawn, but other than them, I knew that most people would be sleeping at this time. It was not until the cab driver asked for payment that I tore my eyes from the building that was to be my new home for the summer. 

Opening the cab's door, I stepped out onto the pavement into the pouring rain pulling my bags out with me. I waited for the taxi to drive off before taking a deep breath and walking up the stairs of the building. My feet against the wet pavement echoed out into the empty night, causing me to shiver. I pushed the call bottom to apartment 13 just as the light flickered and thunder rolled in the distance. My heart leapt in my chest as each second seemed to drag on. Finally, the crackle of the mic came through the speaker.

"Yes," squeaked the voice on the other end, causing me to smile to myself. I had not heard that voice in over a year. It was just as I had remembered it. My heart seemed to settle in my chest even as the thunder continued to roll around me. I leaned closer to the mic so that she could hear me over the rain coming down.

"Hey, Amya! Can you let me up?" She did not answer me over the mic; instead, the door buzzed, and I heard the soft click of the lock releasing. I grabbed the door handle and let myself into the building. It was nothing fancy; a dim light flickered in the center of the room just before the stairs, the dingy red carpet was stained and fading, and the wallpaper was peeling from the wall. Classy, I thought with a chuckle to myself.

As I made my way up the stairs, my thoughts of this apartment building did not improve. The stairs creaked under my weight, and the banister was so loose I dare not put my hand on it, only allowing myself to ghost over the surface. Beer bottles and cigarette buds were left abandoned on the stair. I picked my way around them, careful not to step on one and fall down the stairs. Reaching the second-floor landing, I made my way down a dark hallway to apartment 13. Raising my hand, I knocked on the door before I had finished knocking the door flew open to revile a girl.

The woman that stood before me had bronze skin and black curly hair. She wore a shy smile that was reflected in her soft brown eye. With her arms flung wide, she pulled me into a warm embrace. I let her hold me like that for a long minute before pulling back from her and giving her a smile of my own.

"How have you been," I asked as Amya pulled me into her apartment. Inside I could see that it was much cleaner than the halls had led me to believe. The walls were painted a soft cream color, and the floors were made of dark oak. A small blue couch sat in the middle of the floor with a grey rug in front of it. Large bookcases lined the wall by the door. The living room opened into a small kitchenette where a kettle of boiling water sat on a hotplate. There was a door off to the side of the kitchenette that I knew led into a small bedroom. As I turned to look at Amya, I saw that she was getting two cups out of the cabinets.

"I have been fine, Trac. A bit lonely but good," she said, pouring the water into the cups and placing a tea bag into each, "how have you been?" I made my way to the couch, taking a seat. "I've been good. Me and Brandon broke up, but other than that I have been good. Just glad to be back." Amya handed me a cup of tea before taking a seat next to me. She smiled at me, her eyes lighting up in the way they always did when she was happy.

"I am glad you are back. I don't know if I could stand you being gone another minute; it is so boring without you." She laughed a little at her own statement, causing me to smile. I realized then how easy it was to fall back into being together. Even though I had left a year ago, she acted as if I had not been gone at all. Sometimes I wondered how bad I had hurt her when I left. It wasn't like I had left because of what she told me. I had planned to tell her that I had decided to go to college in California, but I had got so busy, so when she asked to get lunch and hang out, I thought it would be the perfect time to tell her. My mind slowly began to drift to that day.

~

"Hey Amya," I said, walking up to the small iron table she had secured us outside our favorite pizza place. She waved her greeting to me as I took a seat, dropping my backpack to the ground next to my chair. I grabbed the drinks she had ordered for us already and took a sip before smiling at her.

"So, I got some big news to tell you." Amya smiled at my words before leaning in closer to me. "I have some news too." She looked down as she spoke as if she was nervous had something happened. My mind started to race as I watched as she moved uncomfortably under my stare. "Well, you first," I said, trying to break the tension that had been building between us. I watched as she took in a big breath and let it out in a sigh.

"Well, I," she started her eyes coming up to meet mine, "I really like this girl, and I have been trying to think of a way to tell her, but I am afraid." I reached out and took her hands, trying to stop them from shaking so much. I knew this was hard for her. Amya had always been guarded when it came to her feelings, especially when it came to who she likes. She had only come out to her parents a year ago, and I knew that sometimes she thought that they did not love her anymore. I ran my thumb over her knuckles, trying to calm her down.

"Hey. It's okay." My voice was soft, causing her to look up at me. I could see the tears that were welling in her eyes. "Hey. All ya got to do is tell them, and if they don't feel the same way well then, it's just not meant to be. It's really nothing to worry about." She shook her head, slowly pulling her hands from mine and wiping her eyes.

"You don't understand Trac. What if she doesn't want to be my friend anymore?" I laughed at her words before retaking her hands. "Well, then I guess I will just have to beat them up." I let out a laugh, but Amya just let out a sigh and looked away, removing her hands from mine. I watched her for a moment longer before asking her the question that I had been trying to figure out. "Who is the girl?" Amya's face went red, and she started looking anywhere but me. She mumbled something that I didn't catch.

"What was that," I asked leaning closer to her with a smile on my face. She looked up, then her eyes filled with tears that were escaping and rolling down her cheeks. The smile imminently fell from my face. Before I even knew what I was doing, I was around the table, pulling her into a hug. I stroked her hair as she sobbed into my shoulder. Then I heard her mumble again, but this time I heard the words loud and clear.

"I like you, Trac." My heart sank. No! No! No! I thought to myself. She can't like me. She just can't. Especially now, I am leaving for California tomorrow. When she pulled away from me roughly, I realized that I had said that last thought out loud.

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything," she whispered as she stood up from the table. I watched as she turned away from me and took off without looking back. My heart ached as I watched her leave. I knew I should have gone after her, but I also knew that I could not love her as she wanted me too. I had only ever been with boys; being with a girl would be weird, and I didn't think that I could take that. So, I stayed at the restaurant as she ran off and then the next morning I got on my plane and left for California.

~

"Hey," came Amya's voice through the fog of the memory that had been playing in my head. She was waving her hand in front of my face as a laugh escaped her lips. "Are you tired, Trac. We can go to bed if you want." I laughed at her words then took a sip of the warm tea. "I would like that I am a little tired from my trip." She nodded then stood up from the couch. As she stretched, I watched as her shirt pulled up a little bit, exposing the soft skin of her bronze stomach. 

"Well, first off, you need to take a shower because if we are going to be sharing a bed, you cannot smell like a cab seat." I shook my head at her words but stood up and grabbed my P.J.s from my suitcase. When I had finished, I zipped the case up and saw Amya standing by the door to the bathroom. "Shampoo and soap are in the bath. There are towels in the cabinet above the toilet. I am going to bed, so come in quietly." She bid me a good night before heading into her bedroom and closing the door.

Once in the shower, I let the water run over me. I knew that this must be hard for her, me being back and staying with her, but she was acting as though nothing had happened, so maybe I should too. I mean, we did clear things up once I had made it to California. It had consisted of many texts and at least 10 phone calls that had lasted hours. Even after all of that, I still didn't feel that we were back to where we were before all of this mess happened, and I knew we probably never would be again.

Turning the water off, I stepped out of the tub onto the soft purple bathmat. I dried off with a white towel I had found in the cabinet before slipping into my P.J.s. I padded my way down the hall to the bedroom I would be sharing with the girl whose heart I had broken. It just didn't feel right to lay next to her as we had done when we were younger. Reaching out, I placed my hand on the white door. My heart ached for the simpler times when I could just be with my best friend and not have to worry if I was hurting her or not. So with a heavy heart, I turned around and padded back into the small living room. 

I looked at the couch and let out a groan. I knew I was too big for it, but at this point, it was my only other option. Grabbing a blanket from the back of the couch, I laid down and covered up. It was just as I was shutting my eyes when I heard the sound of the bedroom door opening. Rather than face the girl who I knew was just coming to make sure I was okay. I closed my eyes and pretended to be sleeping. My heart raced as I heard her footsteps drawl closer, but she did not try to wake me or even call out my name.

It was only after the footsteps had stopped that I dared to sneak a peek at through squinted eyes. I saw her then sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of me. She reached her hand out towards me, but just before she could touch my face, a large crack of thunder shook the build. She withdrew her hand so quickly you would have thought that something had burned her, but she did not move from her spot. It was only after she was sure that the thunder had not awoken me that she reached out for me again. This time she was successful in reaching me.

I closed my eyes as she reached out, took a lock of hair that had fallen in front of my face, and moved it behind my ear. Her hand lingered there for a moment before moving down to rest on my cheek. Her hand was warm against my cheek, but she only let it stay for a moment longer before she withdrew it. Opening my eyes slightly, I saw that she had tears running down her cheeks. I wanted to reach out and grab ahold of her, but I was too afraid to. She would be so embarrassed if she had known I was awake the whole time.

A few minutes passed before she stopped crying and wiped her face. It was with a sad smile that she stood up. I could hear her footsteps as she walked back to her bedroom. It wasn't until I listened to her door quietly click shut that I let out a sigh of relief. I knew that staying here was a bad idea, but I had nowhere else to go. So, as my eyes were becoming heavy with sleep, I told myself that I would need to find a place of my own tomorrow.