Chapter 9-Take That Hermione!

"Gimmie your cupcakes!" Caius yelled.

"Where the hell is my mom?" Vuldemort said, looking around. "Oh crap, that's right, She died!" He cursed.

"Cupcakes!" Caius tackled Voldemort to the ground and the rest of the Vulturi caught up to him.

"Hey! Those cupcakes are store bought OK?" Voldemort said.

"Oh, well then, I'll just get off of you then." Caius said.

"No," Voldemort grabbed Caius and held him there, "this just feels right." Voldemort said.

"Omfg! Fag!" Caius jumped off of him and started to smack off his robes as if Voldemort had a bunch of germs on him.

"You, snake person, I have one question." Aro said.

"Yes?" Voldemort raised and lowered his eyebrows really fast, smiling.

"Yeah that's not disturbing." Alec muttered under his breath.

"Are you good or evil?" Aro asked.

"Depends of your definition." Voldemort said and inhaled a flower near him.

"Are you good or not?" Jane growled. Voldemort almost jumped back.

"Uh, good, duh." Voldemort rolled his eyes.

"Oh, OK then, let's go to that castle, Jane had something to show us." Aro said.

"Hold on, my posse is here." Voldemort stood up. His band of death eaters came out of the shadows. "What up my home skillet biscuit?" Voldemort said to one.

"Uh, nothing?" It said.

"How many are there?" Jane asked.

"I don't know, a lot?" Voldemort shrugged.

"So can we go now?" Cauis asked, tapping his foot.

"Yes yes, onward!" Voldemort said and the group left.

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Harry and pals were in the Griffendor common room, studying for a test in whichever subject.

"I wish I knew magic, it sound fun." Renesmee said, reading one of Hermione's thick books.

"It would be beyond your intellect." Hermione snorted. Alice, who had been sitting at the fireplace playing checkers with a kid looked up.

"Hermione!" Ron gasped.

"How? Don't you think I could grow?" Renesmee glared.

"No. Your just not that advanced." Hermione said.

"Oh yeah little miss logical?" Alice had reached over her and snatched away her book and tossed it into the fireplace.

"Hey! I need that!" Hermione said and jumped up.

"Then go get it." Alice glared. Hermione gulped loudly.

"I'm not intimidated by hacks like you!" Hermione said, trying to sound brave, but her voice was shaky.

"Why don't you use those books and look up something called manners? Or an open mind?" Alice growled. Hermione shrunk back, her eyes the size of dinner plates.

"I-I, at least I can prove something logically! Unlike you, you follow pictures in your mind!" She said.

"That's because my visions are dead on, the truth. They have never failed me." Alice said.

"Oh yeah? Prove it!" Hermione snapped.

"Jasper is about to run in here carrying a cauldron with a potion inside it then will dump it on that chair." Alice said. In a few seconds, Jasper came running in, a glint in his eyes and dumped the contents on a chair.

"Ha-ha!" Jasper laughed.

"Lucky guess." Hermione scoffed.

"Your cat will jump on your head in two minutes." Alice said and turned around to walk away.

"Hey don't leave!" Hermione snapped and ran forward. Right on cue, Crookshanks jumped on Hermione's head, hissed and jumped off.

"I'd also use those books of yours to look up a hairbrush. Ever herd of one? How about shampoo? Because your growing a bush on your head." Alice said and left. Hermione fell down on her chair, glowering.

"You just got owned." said Ron.

Filch mopped the ground. He stood back to view his work admiringly. The entrance looked spiffy. He walked over to pick up the bucket of dirty mop water, when the door flew open, the bucket fell down, spilling its contents all over the floor. Filch stared at it, open mouthed. Aro and Caius lumbered in, as well as the rest of the Volturi and Voldemort's gang.

"You missed a spot." Caius looked down and pointed.

"I can see that." Filtch growled and started to clean up.

"Whew! What smells in here?" Marcus said and started to wave the space around him.

"Ew! I know!" Aro started to gag.

"Hey! I just cleaned up!" Filch snapped.

"You didn't do a good job janitor." Marcus said.

"I'm not a janitor!" Filch said.

"Here my good fellow, take a tip." Voldemort flipped a coin at him. Filch then saw Voldemort and fainted.

"Whoa, didn't know I was so smexy." Voldemort said.

"Holy tomato!" Renesmee said. He had walked bye and stooped to stare at the gang in the hall.

"Hello Nessie!" Aro beamed.

"CHILD MOLESTER!" Renesmee screamed and ran.

"Hey! I'm not the dog humping your leg!" Aro called after her.

"I don't hump her leg!" Jacob's voice shouted some were.

Renesmee ran into the Great Hall and ran all the way up to Dumbledore's table, it was lunch time.

"Yes?" Dumbedore asked.

"The Vulturi are here! With a snake looking guy!" She said.

"Oh shizzel." Snape said from his end. Everyone looked at him like, wtf? "What? I know terms." He grumbled.

"You are not sexy! I'm not gay!" Caius said.

"Your just jealous." A familiar voice said. The doors opened and the "Voldeturi" walked in.

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Lol..... I'm finding this story funny and i'm the one who's writin it!! Lol i'm weird.....