Chapter 10-Stop, Drop and Roll with Big Pockets and Taperecorders while Edward is Clonned?!

Everyone stared at them.

"I'm uncomfortable." Marcus said.

"Oh no. I forgot about these people." Voldemort said. Dumbledore got up. "Oh hell no! Take this!" Voldemort said ad raised his wand. Dumbledroe and the teachers were wall knocked out and glued to the wall by giant green goo.

"They look like boogers!" Caius laughed.

"Omg, they do!" Jane agreed and the two started to laugh. The students all got up (except the Slytherins).

"Uh, what do you want?" Voldeort said, twitching.

"What's going on?" Aro asked a death eater.

"Voldemort is scared of kids." He said.

"Why?" Aro asked.

"Because they are short." The death eater said.

"Save me! Oh dear god! I can't stand all these short people!" Voldemort said and ran away. The death eaters did the same thing to the kids as they did to the teachers.

"We must be inside Hagrid's nose." Voldemort observed.

"Ha-ha, I get it." A death eater said.

"Oh this is great." Harry said, trying to get out.

"Harry stop it, we'll get rescued." Hermione said.

"How do you know?" Harry asked.

"Because. I'm smart." Hermione said.

"DUN-DUN-DUNT-DUNT-DUNT-DAD-DUH!" A loud voice said. Everyone turned to look around. Ron's floating car (from the second book) came crashing through the window and swirled around, then landed on the ground. Renesmee and Emmet fell out.

"Look at what we found in the forest!" Renesmee pointed.

"My dad's car!" Ron gasped.

"It's your? Well then that means we cant keep it." Emmet grumbled.

"Are these the other vampires?" Voldemort asked.

"Yeah. There is more of them." Aro said.

"Who picked their nose and didn't use a Kleenex?" Renesmee asked, looking around.

"Uh, that guy." Voldemort pointed to Hagrid (I just thought of something, Voldemort got Hagrid expelled, so the two would know each other, an that happened 50 years ago, so hagrid would be in like his sixtes or eighties or seventies! :D)

"What?" Hagrid asked.

"Ew." Emmet said.

"Let go of me bub? Do you know who I am? Google me!" Rosalie awas being dragged in along with the rest of teh Cullen's.

"We found them chasing ghosts." A Death Eater said.

"Wait, there is one missing. Were is Bella?" Aro counted. There was a sound as if pots and pans were being banged together.

"CHARGE!" Bella's voice yelled. The house elves in the kitchen all charged through, knocking Voldemort, Aro, and the Vuldeturi off their feet and on to the ground.

"Big people suck!" One said and they started to kick them.

"Ow! Hey! Ow! This kinda tickles!" Voldemort started to squirm and laugh.

"What the?" Hermione asked.

"I managed to change there minds and ordered a revolt! My friends, free the Cullen's!" Bella said. The Elves slowly turned to her, they were glaring. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Bella asked.

"We don't take any more bull from big people!" One said. The midget army turned on her and started to kick her and punch her.

"How dare you! You are just rip off's of Santa's Elves!" Bella cried. The students were laughing as Bella was getting beaten up by the elves. Then, in a swift movement, she grabbed Voldemort's wand which was sticking out of his pocket. "Were is the on switch?" She asked, turning it over and smacking it.

"Say something!" Aro yelled.

"Uh, midget be biggest?" She said and waved it. The Elves all suddenly grew to normal sized people. They all exchanged looks, then turned on each other.

"Wow Bella, you turned them against you!" Edward said.

"Yeah, these things just come to me." Bella blushed as flipped the wand, it fell on the ground and Voldemort grabbed his wand.

"Avada Kadavara!" He said. Bella suddenly burst into flames and started running around the place, waving her arms screaming.

"I'm on FYAH!" Bella screamed.

"Fyah?" Emmet asked, crinkling his nose.

"Do not correct me in my grammar skills at this moment Emmet!" Bella hissed.

"Mom! It's stop, drop, and roll!" Renesmee said.

"Huh?" Bella asked.

"Stop running." Renesmee said. Bella did and just stood there, light as a torch.

"Drop." Renesmee said, motioning for Bella to lye down. Bella did so. "And roll." Renesmee said and spun around, mimicking rolling. Bella did and the flames were put out after a few rolls. She stood up and brushed her self off.

"False alarm people!" She said, holding her hands up. Then, she burst into flames again, Voldemort on the floor laughing so hard.

"I'm on FYAH AGAIN!" Bella screamed.

"Mom, just repeat what you just did." Renesmee said. Bella stopped, dropped, and rolled again, and stood up, but again, she burst into flames. Even Emmet and Jasper were laughing so hard. Bella then jumped out of one of the windows and ran down to the lake, and dove in. The Cullen's, the ones that were not on the floor laughing, went to the window. There was a sizzling noise, and Bella got up.

"I'm good!" She said, waving, drenched form head to toe. She ran back up to the castle and jumped in.

"Just stay wet, I'm sure then you wont burst into flames." Edward observed.

"Or wear fire proof close." Renesmee said.

"What kind of close are fire proof?" Bella asked her.

"A firefighters." Renesmee said, and pulled out a firefighters hat and placed it on Bella's head.

"Is this thing real?" Bella said, tugging on it.

"Yeah." Renesmee chirped.

"Nessie, why do you have a firefighters hat?" Edward asked.

"Because the jacket didn't fit in my pocket." Renesmee said as if that was obvious.

"Oh, so." Edward turned slowly to Voldemort who was picking his nose with his wand.

"Should I run?" Voldemort asked, inching toward the door.

"I would." Edward growled.

"AHHH!" Voldemort screamed and pushed death eaters in his way. Edward easily pushed past them and accidentally pulled ones mask off and he ran after Voldemort.

"Father?" Malfoy said.

"No, Malfoy," Malfoy's dad said and stood up,"I'm not your dad."

"GASP!" Emmet said.

"Well, then who is?" Malfoy asked, about to cry.

"Professor Flitwick." He said and pointed.

"GASP!" Jasper repeated. Everyone's head turned to Professor Flitwick, who had woken up.

"What? But he-" Malfoy said.

"Nah, I'm just f-ing with ya." Lucius laughing.

"Get in my way meat shields!" Voldemort said and pushed all of his death eaters in the way. Edward, teeth bared and claws out, stopped in front of one.

"AHHH!" Ir cringed and screamed like a girl. Edward jumped at the scream and gave him a what-the-hell look, but soon pushed past him after Voldemort. Bella was struggling to try to tug the firefighters hat off her head, which was stuck.

"C'mon Emmet, let's free the students." Renesmee said.

"How? They're all glues to the wall with boogers." Emmet said.

"With a giant Kleenex." Renesmee said and out of her pocket, pulled out a Kleenex the size of the floor.

"How big is your pocket?" Emmet asked, observing the tiny pocket.

"Very." She said.

"but that is impossible." Emmet said, pointing.

"Not if you believe Emmet, do you believe?" Renesmee asked him.

"In what?" Emmet asked.

"In Magical Toasters!" Renesmee cried, then jumped up on the wall and started to wipe at the goo.

"Did some one give her soda?" Bella asked, stumbling over chairs to trty and pull off the firefighters hat.

"Uh, maybe." Ron's voice said.

"You!" Bella turned to a Hufflepuff second year, the hat blocking her vision. "If you give her soda she sees things like magic bunnies and evil leprechauns!" Bella said.

"Uh, I didn't do it!" The Hufflepuff said, about to pee his pants.

"Oh. Were is that guy?" Bella turned around.

"OMG!" Renesmee cried.

"What?" Jasper asked.

"Look! There is a daddy look-a-like!" Renesmee said. She freed the person and dragged them over.

"Hey, he does look like Edward! What's your name?" Jasper asked.

"Cedric Diggory." He said (i know, he's supposed to be dead but Robert Pattinson played him in goblet of fire so I had to do a spoof about it :D).

"An Edward look-a-like?" Bella asked, turning around. "I can't see a thing!" She complained. Emmet walked over and tugged. The hat came unstuck. "Much better, whoa! You do look like Edward!" Bella said.

"Let go of Cedric!" A vocie called. The Cullen's turned to the voice. It was Cho Chang.

"An Asian English person!" Renesmee said and pointed.

"What did she say?" Bella asked.

"She told us to let go of Edward number two." Jasper said.

"My name is Cedric." Cedric said.

"Shut it Edward number two!" Jasper hissed.

"Death Eaters!" Voldemort yelled as he ran bye, Edward on his tail. The death eaters turned to him. "We are leaving!" He said. The death eaters ran out of the room and Edward gave up to chase and walked back in. There was whipping noise. "Yah bitch, yah! Giddy up!" Voldemort said somewhere, then he and the death eaters were gone.

"That was weird." Jane said form were she was.

"Truce?" The house elves asked after beating each other up.

"Yeah, let's get back to the kitchen, I feel like cooking." One said.

"And I want to clean." The house elves left, shuffling out the door in a neat alphabetical line. The politely said excuse me to Edward who was standing in the door.

"So what did I miss?" He said and walked over.

"YOU'VE BEEN CLONED!" Emmet said and pointed to Cedric. The two looked at each other.

"You look like me!" Edward said.

"And you look like me!" Cedric said.

"You know what that means?" Edward asked.

"Threesome with your hot wife?" Cedric asked.

"What the!" Emmet laughed.

"No...maybe. I meant, shopping!" Edward said.

"Shopping?" Cedric said.

"Yeah, you need to get Edward-a-fied." Edward said and dragged Cedric out of the room. "We'll be back later!" He called.

"Cedric!" Cho cried.

"Shut up you cry baby." Emmet said. They freed the rest of the students with the help of Renesmee's magical Kleenex.

"Can you free us?" Aro asked. They were on the ground, tied up from the House elves.

"If you say one thing." Carlisle said.

"Sure, what?" Aro asked, wiggling.

"I am a wimp and Carlisle is a pimp, he is so much cooler than me, I am so jealous and I am a child molester kidnapper." Carlsile said.

"What? I'm not saying that!" Aro said.

"Fine, then you'll stay on the ground." Carlisle huffed.

"OK! OK! I'll say it!" Aro said.

"Awesome, hold on." Carlisle pulled out a tape recorder and pressed record.

"Now say it clearly." Carlisle said.

"I am a wimp and Carlisle is a pimp, he is so much cooler than me, I am so jealous and I am a child molester kidnapper." Aro said.

"Thank you for complying." Carlisle said smugly and put the tape recorder back in his pocket and freed the Volturi.

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Lol.... Hope you enjoyed reading! Honestly thic ctory is so funny i'm laughing while writing... I know my chapters are short, so for this i combined 3 chapters together... Do vote and comment!

<3 Y