Lisa tutted dramatically, sighing. Her life, despite popular belief, was quite boring.

Get up, go to lessons, get scolded by her magic teacher for being 'too much' (What does that mean anyway? In Lisa's opinion, she was doing better than all the other students, and yet she was scolded? Well, sorry she's better than everyone, but teacher, sir, you've got a stick up your ass), hang out with her friends, tutor on Wednesdays, and then finally head back to the hell that is her house.

It's not that it's the worst life. Friends, a prestigious school, rich family, nice house, etc. etc. But it was exactly that which was worse: her family.

She had two loving parents (even if they were ridiculously strict, at least she didn't have to deal with Kaeya's family situation), a cat, her own tiny library in her room, and a brother to keep her company. Even if he was annoyingly thick as hell (Dude's brain needs some work, like c'mon, the boy and girl he rants about for three hours a day? Yeah, you've got some feelings, my little man, and it's not platonic).

Which may all seem nice, but it wasn't.

Lisa was a studious person, sure, but not the type who should be stuck in a study, held at ruler-point by her father, forced to be the best in class for no apparent reason. "Beat Jean! She's the best student at the school, and her father is our enemy. You have to be better than her!" he'd insist. Like, no thanks. Jean was her friend, not her nemesis. She didn't mind studying, but to that degree...?

The truth was, she liked books. And, god forbid, maybe some of the books she liked weren't non-fiction.

They weren't strict on her brother. Razor got away with having horribly low grades just because he was younger and was "still in his teenage years, he deserves some emotional freedom". Maybe also because he was, admittedly, extremely adorable and innocent, and was great at manipulating his parents. Thus, all the expectations fell to poor Lisa.

It was this family dynamic that bred her slightly-rebellious, definitely-spiteful personality. Whenever she could get away with it, she'd embarrass her parents in public.

"Hey mom, dad!" She called out to them loudly once on a family outing to the Mondstadtian markets. "Did you see that boy at the tomato stall? He was hot as hell. Razor, you've gotta check him out. He looked your age!"

Parents can't scold their child in public without looking despicable, so they just looked terribly surprised and perfectly horrified instead.

Even when she could do things such as that to make her parent's lives worse, she couldn't get away from it completely. One B and she'd have to study until it was a perfect A, no breaks. Sometimes, in classes where tests were far apart, that meant she'd be reviewing three hours of material every night for a month or two.

It never broke her spirit. Never. She'd always live to make her parents hate themselves. It was one of her life goals, besides breeding Razor into a flirty sexy romantic. Though, Razor seemed to be too far gone down the rugged oblivious heathen path, and she couldn't seem to spare him.

Man, she'd always wanted a super hot sibling to be hot with and attract crowds together, but if Razor preferred bugs in his hair and dirt on his face, then so be it. She'd have to do with Kaeya.

Back to the present, Lisa managed to pull herself out of her misery and focus on the task at hand: paying attention to one of her friend's stories.

"Then she straight up transferred to the Snezhnayan branch, stayed for a week, then left for the Sumerian one without reason! Nobody knows why, but I'll figure it out," Amber ranted.

"Damn, all within the last month? Did you ask her for info on how the Sumerians live it up? Because I was thinking of transferring too," Kaeya asked.

"Uh, no," Lisa interrupted. "If you leave Mondstadt, I'd only be able to meet with you if we happened to share a multi-branch class, and you hate every class I take because you don't like what I like."

"Except for women," Kaeya winked.

"Except for women, but that's unfortunately not a class," Lisa sighed wistfully. "When will I see that hot Liyuean again? Maybe I should join soccer just to see her."

"Beidou's taken." Kaeya laughed at her. "Good luck."

Lisa grazed her fingers over her cheek, tapping them on her chin with a glint of amusement in her eyes. "Yeah, and that ginger you keep hanging out with is taken too, so we're in the same boat."

"Hey, Childe's a bro, and I'd never break the bro code like that. I'm his wingman! I'll find the right person someday," Kaeya grinned; "all I need is to keep up with my super hot amazing flirts, charm everyone with my natural beauty, and boom, I'll find someone in no time. Someone super hot with a sexy foreign accent who can appreciate a fellow hottie."

"Maybe the person you're looking for is closer than they may seem." Lisa glanced at the nerdy kid section of the Mondstadt table, making a point of staring at Albedo for longer than needed so Kaeya's stupid brain could get the hint.

"Hah, Kokomi? She's too fishy for me," Kaeya shook his head, referring to the end of another table, just next to Mondstadt's nerd section, where the smart Inazumans sat.

"No, look at the entire nerd table. Watch precisely where I'm looking." Lisa helped guide him with her expertise in parenting.

"...Ayato? Too rich. Though, he's got some great flirts in there–"

"Kaeya!"

"Okay, okay, I know," Kaeya groaned. "He's too... I don't know. Albedo sounds like a pasta."

"That's such great reasoning, actually. I think you should totally deny your feelings and find a new crush. Pasta names, ew, such a red flag, you've got an amazing point." Lisa deadpanned.

While Kaeya and Lisa entered a glaring contest (Not staring, glaring), Mona took her spot at the table, Rosaria not too far behind. Diluc shifted all the way down towards where the table met the wall, scrolling on his phone. Jean took her spot next to Lisa not too long after.

"Hey Jean, how're the parents?" Lisa asked, still glaring at Kaeya.

"You always ask this. It's the same. They still hate yours, but they hate me more." Jean looked as dead inside as ever, as far as Lisa could tell from her slick side-eye.

"Man, you two have got to find a way to end this rivalry. We can't study together at either of your houses because your parents won't allow you to enter 'enemy territory'!" Mona complained.

"Yeah, I can't keep hosting, my mom's growing exhausted," Amber noted. "I don't mind though! You're all great friends. Even if you're always arguing or talking about hot people..."

"You say that as if you aren't a hot person, cutie," Lisa responded, eyes twitching from lack of water.

"O-oh, thanks!" Amber blushed. "Nobody's called me hot before."

"Well, we'll start doing it more often then," Kaeya said. "I, for one, think all our friends are hot. Except Diluc. He's not our friend, or hot."

"I think he's hot," Lisa pointed out.

"You're a raging, flaming, horny bisexual, you can think what you want, but it won't count," Kaeya rolled his eyes.

"I won." Lisa leaned back, crossing her arms. "No eye rolling. That was breaking the glare."

"No, it was accentuating the glare," Kaeya insisted.

As they started bickering, the rest of the table moved on to talk about various subjects. Lunch wore on for twenty more minutes, and then the bell rang, and Lisa set off with Jean to attend biology.

Crowds of students stormed past them, but the girls walked as casually as ever, engaging in useless conversation as they went. Lisa knew Jean had the passing times memorized; she'd pace everything out perfectly, so Lisa never worried about being late.

Lisa eyed Jean as she released yet another long sigh. Not the 'hey, I'm in distress, ask me how I'm doing or I'll sigh louder for attention!' kinda sigh, but a genuine sound of exhaustion and stress. That's what prompted Lisa to ask what was wrong.

In response, she just got Jean's sad glance, and a tight smile.

"I'm fine," Jean insisted.

"Cut the bullshit," Lisa snorted, waving it off. "What's wrong?"

Jean knew from years of hanging out with Lisa that she'd never be left alone unless a reasonable answer was given. "Alright. Don't tell anybody. With the upcoming math tournament and my president duties... I can't have people know, okay?" Jean looked into Lisa's eyes sincerely. At her friend's nod, Jean continued;

"My parents are being horrible again," she began. "They keep pressuring me to keep top grades, insisting I'll inherit the business when I'm older. I've got to prove myself better than your family, live up to the generational standards. Unlike your parents, though, what's really bothering me is that they're diverting their excess amount of high expectations to the younger sibling. Barbara doesn't deserve this amount of pressure. I've tried alleviating some of it, but she's insistent that she'll be as 'good' as me some day. She thinks I'm amazing and happy and I'm her role model but I shouldn't be. I'm a mess and she doesn't realize it.

"She doesn't realize my parent's pressure is toxic. She just thinks it's a 'necessary experience' to reach my 'level of epicness'. What does that mean? I'm not epic. I run on caffeine and do what I do because of abusive parents. Now that she's suffering from it, she doesn't see it, and she's allowing herself to devolve into me, but she thinks it's a good thing. I just—"

Jean looked close to banging her head on the wall. Lisa hadn't seen her so worked up in ages.

"Barbara doesn't deserve this. I need her to see how pressuring straight A's and forcing twelve clubs on a freshman isn't okay. Not only that, but my parents won't listen when I insist that Barbara deserves a stress-free life. They look down at me and change the subject, asking about my grades and if I have a boyfriend yet," Jean finally finished her rant, exasperated.

"So you need your parents to listen to you, so they can change their minds, so they stop torturing Barbara, so Barbara can live a better life, yes?" Lisa confirmed. "Where does your stress-free life fit in?"

Jean nearly laughed.

"Me? I'm not stressed," she smiled a bit. "You're funny. But Barbara—"

"Jean, shut the hell up, you're always stressed. You've got a horrible workload, worse than what Barbara's facing. If you want to spare Barbara, spare yourself too! Two birds, one stone, yeah?" Lisa leaned closer to Jean, sincerely looking into her eyes. "You need to care about yourself more."

"Okay, only because you're my closest friend, I'll admit I can be... sometimes, stressed, a bit." Jean looked away from Lisa's close, focused stare, warm. "But my main priority is Barbara."

"Alright. If you promise that after we help Barbara, you help yourself, then we have a deal." Lisa nodded, leaning back and sticking out her hand.

"A deal?"

"I'll help you."

Jean blinked a few times, obviously asking "how?" without saying words.

"I'll come up with something," Lisa suggested vaguely.

"Alright," Jean smiled a bit, shaking Lisa's hand. "Deal. Come up with something fast, please."

"No promises."

—

The final class of the day, magic class (officially called History of the Mystical Arcane Arts of Teyvat. What student would actually call it that?), was Lisa's favorite. While she hated the teacher, she loved the course material.

As a kid, instead of playing princess or pirate like Beidou and Kaeya (respectively), she'd always played the evil witch. Nobody wanted to be evil; they'd run around with knightly swords and flippy daggers, fighting to protect the princess or slay the evil dragon (usually Venti's pet lizard took that role), thus the evil role was nearly always open. Lisa took the opportunity to fill it.

Somehow, the idea of magic spoke to her. She didn't care about being evil or good, she just wanted to be able to yell "freeze!" at her friends and make them pause mid-sprint. She wanted to light up dark passages, or heal her fellow evil-doers (Venti's lizard was her partner in crime).

So when she learned that magic was actually a high school class, she took it freshman year. Advancing through each one, she reached History of the Mystical Arcane Arts of Teyvat VI, excelling every test.

That's, actually, how she met Jean.

Jean didn't take magic class, no, but she was proficient instead in swordplay, a fun elective class with many tears for those with an extra slot. It was rare that her parents let her take a "useless" elective such as that, seeing as in this age swords were useless... but it worked out in ways Lisa didn't know.

Both excelled in their respective branches, and ended up the heads of their classes. The next step was TAing, which they both applied for. Thus, they tutored students in the same library together. Eventually, they started chatting before the students arrived, and became close friends. They trauma dumped and became even closer, right until they were inseparable.

So, in a way, magic was everything beautiful in Lisa's life. Her childhood dreams, her fantasies, and her closest friend all came to her through magic.

The only thing not beautiful about magic was her teacher.

That son of a hairy, cross-eyed, ancient, probably flea-ridden bitch. Ugh, Lisa could not STAND her. She sat in the front of the class (of course her teacher put her there. Ew) and thus was forced to maintain eye contact with the horrible lady until her neck kinked (she was tall. Giraffe-like. Probably because her mother suckled her until she was 25).

Besides her parents, her magic teacher was the worst person alive...

Even if she was the one who gave Lisa the idea that would save Jean's little sister.

"SHIKANAAN HEIZOU!" Ms.Asscrack screeched.

"Actually, it's Shika-noin. As in loin, or coin," he responded.

"How many times have I told you, young man," Ms.Bitchface stomped to Heizou's seat. "That is not the proper way to use magic!"

"But it's better," Heizou insisted. Ooo, he boutta get whooped. "Why throw rocks and water droplets when you can punch the hell outta a guy with anemo-backed assaults?"

The teacher was fuming. Actually, Lisa noted with a smirk, there was visible smoke emanating from her ears. Pyro mages are so funny.

"Yeah," Scaramouche pitched in. "It makes sense, actually. Why be detached from your magic when you could pound it into the skull of an enemy with your raw feet?"

"Actually, that sounds kinda fun," Yanfei noted.

"Yeah, no," Mona rolled her eyes. "Punching ruins the whole aesthetic."

"Go consult your stars or whatever, we're having a real conversation here," Heizou shot back. "Ningguang. Your opinion?"

Everyone turned to the smart kid in the class, who sat near the back with her dignified, reasonable friend, Kokomi, and the random tag-a-long freshman Nahida.

"Ah, well, I believe that incorporating kicking and punching into magic is a modern approach... but it's also, as Beidou would say, bullshit. You're quite ungraceful. You ruin the whole point of long range. You look barbaric, and honestly, don't your fists hurt in the end? Impractical," Ningguang huffed.

"This is why Ningguang actually has hopes for passing this class," Ms.Stankybreath nodded.

"Um, if I may," Lisa interjected. "Obviously Heizou's stupid way of using magic is fine, because all forms of magic are still inherently 'magical', as you told us three days ago yourself. To quote: 'there is no wrong way of using magic.'"

The class turned to Ms.Crinklybones, who looked astonished that Lisa, one of her best students and heir to a very rich, prestigious family, would ever talk back. Then again, Lisa was known in the class for talking behind the teacher's back, making laughable remarks and amusing impressions. The teacher just hadn't known yet.

"I knew your extreme behavior would resort in a talk-back some day," she turned up her nose. "You always have been too much."

Ah, same as always. Saying Lisa's natural personality was 'too much' and 'extra'. She'd been using that to describe Lisa's show-off-y approach to magic and whenever she passed not-so-hidden flirty notes during class.

"Detention, Ms.Minci. And Heizou can join you. Scaramouche and Yanfei, you've both got warnings," she hissed.

Hah. Yet another way to embarrass her parents. Lisa smirked, content. She'd never had detention before, so this would be quite fun. Why hadn't she thought of it before? Nothing would make her parents more pissed off than her publicly shaming them when they came to pick her up after classes.

Heizou, meanwhile, wasn't as smart as Lisa. Instead of leaning back without a retort, Heizou groaned loudly and made gestures to Scaramouche, who snickered as they mocked the teacher together.

"You boys aren't SUBTLE!" she whipped around aggressively, stomping to the back and staring Heizou in the face. "A week more of detention to you both."

"Oh no." Scaramouche deadpanned.

Lisa nearly laughed out loud. Holy shit the teacher was mad. She'd never seen her this riled up!

"You boys and your... your homosexual behavior have been interrupting this class for far too long!" Ms.Snootynoodlearms said the word like it was a curse.

"What behavior?" Heizou leaned closer to Scara, gently wrapping an arm around the boy's middle and bringing him close. Scaramouche flushed red, looking surprised as Heizou pecked him on the cheek.

"You... YOU BRING DISHONOR TO THE SCHOOL!" She bellowed.

And that, my friends, was the aforementioned idea-giving sentence.

Of course. Lisa could feel the lightbulb over her head. While Scaramouche sat flustered in the middle of the class with Heizou receiving more detention, Lisa plotted. It was a perfect plan. What more could possibly embarrass her parents, and surprise Jean's so hard that they'd have to pay attention to her?

Lisa nearly let out her inner childhood witch win, an evil cackle rising in her throat. Oh, she couldn't wait to tell Kaeya.

—

"Lemme get this straight," he was smiling widely. "Two anemo weirdos were fruity in your magic class, and that made the teacher pissed, so you decided that you and Jean should be fruity to make your parents pissed?"

"Yup," Lisa smiled. "Kaeya, my beautiful, chaotic, sexy, flirty menace of a friend–"

"Out with it."

"–Help me convince her," Lisa insisted.

It was the next day at lunch. Nobody had arrived yet besides Amber, who was wallowing in pity, staring across the cafeteria at the Sumeru table where Collei sat within a group of hot men. She wasn't listening to their conversation, so they were safe to discuss whatever.

"Okay," Kaeya laughed. "Like I'd say no!"

"In return, I'll help hook you up with Albedo." Lisa sipped her water to stifle a grin.

"W-what?" Kaeya held his hands up in surrender. "What's with these sudden accusations and ideas? Albedo? Didn't we agree to drop it, because he sounds like a type of noodle?"

"Deal?" Lisa asked.

Kaeya blinked once, then three times, as if waiting for Lisa to follow up on the whole Albedo thing. She didn't, her hand still stuck out across the table. Kaeya gave in eventually, and took her hand, shaking it twice.

Then, Jean sat down quietly next to Lisa, just like always. Kaeya let go of Lisa's hand, and they both faced Jean.

"Alright, so I found the solution," Lisa began.

"Already?" Jean looked suddenly alive, unlike her previous coffee zombie state.

"Yes. So, to get your parents' attention so they listen to you and you can convince them of Barbara's innocence, we've gotta surprise them. Act out of the ordinary. Get them to realize you exist and suddenly recognize your opinion," Lisa spoke like a well-informed politician. "I've come up with something that would make them notice you, for sure, and also, as a bonus, piss off my parents even more, so that maybe they'll finally realize they suck."

Jean looked expectant, knowing a great idea was coming. Lisa was always great with ideas.

"Fake date me," Lisa said.

The table went quiet. Amber's attention turned back to them, confused. Diluc, still alone at the end of the table, leaned forward to get a good look at the tea. Mona and Diona, who were just coming over and about to sit down, nearly tripped over each other. Rosaria looked normal, reading a book while eating carrots.

"Okay," Jean said. "Give me the pros and cons."

Kaeya looked at Lisa and tossed her a thumbs up. Lisa grinned. This was going better than expected. Her enthusiasm caused her to miss the pink expanding across Jean's ears.

"Okay, first, cons," Lisa started. "None. Pros. I'm hot, you're hot, we'd be an inspirational couple that helps little freshmen realize their sexualities. We'd piss off both our parents, and complete our respective goals that way."

Jean looked distressed, and very conficted. But she didn't look mad. She looked contemplative.

"Plus..." Lisa's heart suddenly skipped a beat, and she felt her face grow warm. "Ah– nevermind. So, you in?"

"Yeah," Jean said, eyes flitting up to Lisa's.

"HUH?" Mona exclaimed. "You can't be serious. Fake dating is like... the epitome of stupidity. It never works out! And it ruins opportunities. Jean, if you're pretending to date Lisa, then every person who could potentially like you would be scared off. All real romantic partners wouldn't be able to show themselves available!"

"I don't care about romance, you know that Mona," Jean rolled her eyes. "If some idiot has a crush on me, it's safe to say I don't like them back."

"I think this sounds great," Rosaria noted. "Hella funny, too. I say we could help you plan dates and push the new 'info' on your parents."

"Mhm, we can help out," Amber nodded. She was surprised at first, but as the plot rolled itself out, she realized it would be pretty fun to witness. "At study sessions at my house, I could make sure to push that you two are dating to my mom! She knows both your parents. She'd tell them for sure."

"Yeah, I could plan you guys some dates around your parents," Kaeya grinned. "Oh! What if you don't date right away, but like, slowly and purposefully 'fall in love'. Then, your parents would see it happening and find it more convincing. And they'd work together to stop it."

"Brilliant," Lisa nodded. "Hell yes. Let's do it, Jean."

"You're all idiots," Diluc grumbled quietly from his corner, focusing on his phone.

"We know," Kaeya stuck out his tongue.

Everyone looked over at Jean. The blonde was sitting quietly, clearly thinking over all the words. She was probably deep in the middle of a planning process. She wasn't in this for Lisa's reason, that being her trying to piss off her parents, she was instead trying to get their attention. She needed this to be as dramatic as possible, but she didn't want to ruin her reputation. She needed to be careful.

"Jean?" Lisa asked.

"Yeah?" Jean jerked her head up from her concentrating.

"You good?" Kaeya asked.

"Yes, just thinking," Jean waved it off.

"If you ever want to back out, that's fine," Lisa smiled kindly at her. "I understand you've got boundaries."

Jean let herself smile sweetly, her chest fluttering deep down.

"Thanks, Lisa," Jean said quietly. "Let's do this."

—

"Hey, Albedo!" Lisa called.

"Hm?" he asked, holding multiple textbooks to his chest as he walked down the hall, one earbud in.

"Pause your nerdy ass science podcast. I need to talk to you," Lisa said.

"Fine," Albedo took his earbud out and paused his podcast, frowning. "What do you want? I've got a minute to get to class."

"So your mom, y'know how she's head of the school district?" Lisa began. "I need you to get into her computer when she's not looking and send an email out to the entire school. All it needs to say is this: 'Everyone, please remind your students and their parents to show respect towards the LGBT community' or something."

"...is this for the Jean thing?" Albedo sighed. "Fine. Why, though?"

"Just do it," Lisa said. "Or I'll tell Kaeya you like Sucrose."

"You bitch," Albedo hissed.

Lisa winked with a laugh and walked away as the bell rang, signaling class started.

—

"Amber, can you organize a distraction for us?" Jean asked.

"Sure...?" Amber shrugged. "When? How? Why?"

"Soon as possible," Jean insisted. "It's for the fake dating thing."

"Oh, of course!" Amber's eyes brightened.

"Make sure your plan it to be big. You're on the party planning committee for a reason. I need it to happen in the English hallway, while the English teachers are having a meeting in one of the classrooms. Make sure it's big enough they can see it," Jean said. "But don't attract students."

"Sure, sure," Amber nodded. "Can I bring Xiangling?"

"Who...? Nevermind, yeah, sure, so long as it gets done," Jean brushed it off.

Amber grinned.

—

"Rosaria, tell your mom the following," Lisa started. "'I'm sorry I disgraced the church. I do want to follow in your footsteps and become the priest. But, first I must repent. Mother, I must tell you a horrible sin!'"

"I don't like where this is going," Rosaria muttered.

"'I have witnessed acts of gay,' say that part super solemly, 'and I did nothing to stop it!' Leave it at that and then leave without any more details," Lisa concluded.

"Uh, sure," Rosaria shrugged. "Only because I don't give a shit about what my mom thinks about me. I'm moving out soon anyway."

"That's the enthusiasm we're looking for," Lisa patted her back.

—

Via Albedo's mom's announcement, the teachers emailed their student's parents, and thus both Lisa and Jean's guardians had heard of the awareness of LGBTQ.

Just as planned, they both get a bit protective.

"Lisa, there must be something going on at school for such an announcement to be needed," Lisa's father said with fake concern. "If you ever witness something gay, please report it, and don't let it affect you."

"Of course, father," Lisa grinned and saluted. "No gay here!"

Her father turned away wearily, suspicious, but he didn't care too much so he just went on with his way, probably to call his close friend, let's just call him Mr.Alfred, who worked as an English teacher as Lisa's high school. Lisa knew her father spied on her through his friend, gaining intel by asking if the teacher had heard any rumors or witnessed Lisa acting out of line.

You see where this is going?

Jean's parents also heard the announcement, and they kept a sharp gaze on Barbara. They didn't care about Jean that much, knowing she was a studious heterosexual with not a smidge of gay on her. Or maybe they wouldn't care regardless.

With both parents on edge, the plan continued.

Rosaria's mother, a beautiful, sweet, caring, and respected leader of the church everyone went to, decided Rosaria's message was a perfect piece of tea to spill at a Sunday mass.

Just like they plotted, Jean and Lisa's parents, upon hearing this, were even more paranoid. With their defenses way high up, their anxiety spiked, and they eyes searching, they were frail. They were protecting their children from the potential gay seeping into their lives, as witnessed by two reliable sources they trusted.

They weren't thinking about the possibility that maybe the gay is within those they're 'protecting'.

—

"You sure you're okay with this?" Lisa asked Jean carefully.

"Yes, Lisa, it's fine." Jean's breath was hot on her neck, heating her whole body.

Lisa looked deep into Jean's eyes, a gentle and easy smile on her face, trying to comfort Jean. The witch gently grazed her fingers over Jean's cheekbone, leaning until their foreheads were touching.

"It'll all work out," Jean comforted herself.

"Of course it will," Lisa grinned, though barely visible from their angles. "I planned it."

Jean smiled despite herself, chuckling a bit, only interrupted by a deafening bang erupting from nearby.

Amber's distraction proved powerful. Literally. The whole English wing shook thanks to the boom. She and Xiangling scampered out of there gleefully, leaving the hallway deserted, confetti falling slowly from the ceiling, where there was a large whole now that the confetti canon had released it's fury onto the panels.

The English teachers, who were gathered in a classroom to discuss the curriculum, rushed out quickly, faces filled with annoyance, ready to see a group of teenagers playing around with party poppers or something.

What they found, instead, sent shivers up their spine and their eyes went wide.

"Now," Jean demanded, and Lisa complied, connecting their lips forcefully.

"GIRLS!" one of the teachers shouted.

Jean and Lisa pretended to back away from each other, although they still held hands. Their faces were flushed pink, but Lisa was smiling.

The teachers were aghast. Not only did a confetti canon just go off right outside their door, but two of their top students, both with rival parents, were making out shamelessly in front of them. And so passionately, too. The teachers coudln't help but guess they'd been together for a while now.

"Jean..." Mr.Alfred whispered. "What are you doing?"

"None of your business, sir," Lisa stepped in front of Jean, still holding her hand.

"This is definitely my business." His voice stabalized, and he said his next fords forcefully. "I'm telling your father."

"Mr.Alfred, please—"

"No, Mr.Albert," Mr.Alfred shushed his other English teacher. "This specific student doesn't have the same rules applied. There is no rule of silence around Jean. Her parents have requested full and complete reports on her behavior and I will hide nothing, laws or not."

The teachers were silent as they watched Mr.Alfred pull out his phone. He dialed his friend's number and called Jean's father without hesitation, eyes trained judgingly on Jean the entire time.

"My friend, your daughter has been caught committing a heinous act."

—

Need I say her parents were shocked?

Their little older daughter, their straight blonde girl, had been caught kissing a woman. Nevertheless the enemy's daughter. Nevertheless after they'd been on high alert. Nevertheless they'd been warned of these activities and assured by their daughter that she wouldn't be gay.

Of course, they wouldn't have been assured if there wasn't paranoia already, which only existed thanks to Lisa's plan. But the parents didn't know this. They were just completely ready for something else to happen, and never expected this...

So, they, naturally, organized a sit-down talk with Jean.

Jean couldn't help but smile as she walked behind her parents through their manor. The private office where her mom worked on off-days was all the way down the entire building, in an obscure corner. It gave Jean plenty of time to script up something to say, and a while for her parents to brood over the fact she'd been gayin'.

As the office door closed gently behind them, Jean turned and faced both her parents, who stood close and arm-crossed, judging and disappointed expressions adorning their embarrassed faces. It made Jean smile on the inside.

"Jean, wh–"

"No," Jean said immediately. She took a deep, long breath, calming her nerves. Usually she was brave and calculating, but talking back to the people who had raised her edged her breath to waver and arms to twitch. "Listen to me."

"You can't avoid this, we know what happened," her mother put her foot down.

"Do you know why?" Jean asked. "Do you ever question, or care, why I do anything?"

Her parents looked between each other. They were horrible, neglectful people– but they were too prideful to lie.

"It's all for Barbara." Their older daughter looked defiantly up at her parents. "I'll have you know that while you give all your undivided attention to her, I'm suffering. I drink three cups of coffee in the morning and need more by noon. My sleep schedule is literally 'every other night sleep for five hours'. And you expect me to be put-together? No, you don't expect anything from me, except for me to follow up on your legacy.

"I'm overworked like crazy. It took me a while to realize it, and only thanks to a friend telling me to my face. My other friend actually went out of his way to calculate it. By now, I've lost five years of my life due to these habits you insisted I develop. Now you probably think I'm just complaining because I feel neglected, which I am." Jean pointed this out strongly to both her parents. "But it's not. It's about Barbara, as I said before. Do you want her to become this? To become me?"

Her parents remained silent, contemplating her words.

"Barbara is fine," her father insisted.

"No," Jean fought back. "She isn't. You're going to force her into becoming an absolute mess like me, and there's no going back. I kissed that girl so that you would listen to me. You never do. You ignore me. I ask to talk and you refuse. I interrupt your conversations and you find a way to leave. This is the only way you stay still and quiet and listen to your own daughter. Do you understand how neglectful that is? Do you understand how horrible that is? And all my opinions will go to Barbara. Do you want her to hate you like I do?"

Obviously, this argument was strong. Her parents cared about Barbara more than anything. She'd saved it for last; the idea that maybe Barbara won't like them some day. She could see by the way her mother flinched and her father glared that it hit them both in a sore spot.

"Jean, you're grounded, for a month," her mother said.

"Answer my question," Jean demanded.

"School, schoolwork, and sleep. That is all you're allowed to do," her father added. "Now leave."

Jean knew her words were stuck in their heads, and she knew they'd be too stubborn to respond now. They'd have to answer her through their actions. Being the most mature in the room, she realized this and decided she would leave without any further words.

She shot her parents a meaningful look and then headed to her room. It wasn't as planned. They didn't respond... but time would tell. For now, she'd have to wallow in work.

—

"Hey, Jean!" Lisa greeted as she hopped off the bus and saw Jean by the school's doors.

"It went fine," Jean responded, knowing the question was coming.

"Good," Lisa wrapped her in a hug and pressed a kiss on her cheek.

"H-hey, I thought we'd stop after the plan was finished?" Jean blushed, but let Lisa hug her.

"Change of plans," Lisa murmured seriously. "My parents don't believe it's true. I've gotta prove it to them."

"Oh, right," Jean nodded, still red. She'd forgotten about Lisa's side of the deal.

She deserved something out of it, after all. What she wanted was her parents to be so mad they slap her in public and get her and Razor moved to a foster home together. Many children might be traumatized and try to avoid going to a foster home, but Lisa had always dreamed of it. She'd told Jean once, when they'd hung out while making their plan, that a foster home or orphanage was her dream house.

"This time, I'm out of brain power to create a plan." Lisa leaned away and took Jean's hand. "Let's just play it cool, yeah? My parents are pissed, still, at the fact that I'm hanging out with you, so they'll try and attack your parents. Let's let that settle first."

"Sounds fine," Jean responded.

"Until then..." Lisa leaned her face close to Jean's, breathing on her cheek, eyes focused on the other's. "We'll have to stay together, you okay with that?"

Jean's heart dropped to her toes and bounced to her eyes before she realized she was supposed to respond.

"Yeah, that's fine," Jean nodded quickly. "Let's get to class."

Lisa smiled and started walking away, Jean close at her side. Students watched and whispered around them, not at all easing Jean's hyperactive heart.

Lisa dropped Jean off at her class and backed off cooly with a cute smirk. Once Jean waved and smiled then left for her seat, Lisa took off in a dead sprint to her next class. It was all the way across the school, her calculus class, and she only had a minute of passing time left.

She skidded into the classroom right after the bell rang, seconds late. Her teacher stared her down, noting the disheveled look and heavy breaths.

—

Lisa and Jean were close for the next week. They often hung out, spent private time together at their study sessions with the entire friend group, and even (mostly Lisa) took time out of their normal lives to arrange little outings. Of course, Jean was grounded, but it never stopped Lisa from throwing rocks at her window like a cringy 2000s show and sneaking Jean out with her. Their friends referred to them as dates.

Lisa always laughed and agreed that yes, they were dates. But when her friends asked if they were actually together, she'd blush and laugh loudly, insisting they were still pretending.

Jean would watch their interactions with a quiet smile on her face. Lisa was beautiful when she laughed. Then she'd frown, and sigh. Because of course Lisa always insisted it was fake. And it was, don't get Jean wrong, but Jean couldn't help but wish it wasn't, when Lisa sat so close.

Jean kept monitoring her parents. It seemed that they were being a bit lighter on Barbara's workload. Jean made sure to send them pointed glares whenever they assigned Barbara another private choir lesson. She'd remind them, not verbally, that Barbara may like choir but still not want it to be her whole life.

In this period of watching and observing, while they were also fake dating, Lisa had an idea for her case.

"Okay, get this. My main side of the deal was to make my parents shit themselves and get me moved to a foster house with Razor, right?" Lisa began while Jean sat across from her at a café, sipping coffee. "We need it to happen in public. We need someone in CPS to be present, so..."

"So we need to get Yanfei's mom in on it," Jean finished.

"Yeah. She's high up in CPS, if we can get her to witness it all..." Lisa ran her finger along the rim of her coffee mug.

"Agreed. But I don't know anyone from the Liyue class," Jean shook her head. "And you need to get this CPS person in the same place as your parents and both of us..."

"We planned that whole event for your earlier," Lisa reasoned with a smirk. "This is even easier. It's not too hard to manipulate my stupid ass parents into thinking I'm taking Razor to a friend's and realized I was too busy to use the two Crave coupons I mysteriously had, and then ended up handing to them last minute, pretending to be rushed so they don't think much of it, and then subtly mension they expire tonight, so they have to use them, and that also they're 50% off so why waste the opportunity?"

"Okay..." Jean stifled a laugh. "Why are you talking this through with me if you've clearly already planned it all out?"

"Because." Lisa smiled gently, eyes locked on Jean's. "I like talking to you."

Jean blushed and tried to respond, but couldn't think of anything adequate, so settled for a nod.

"Likewise," Jean forced out.

Lisa chuckled and brought her hand to her face, resting her chin on the back of her palm, still running her finger around her mug's rim. "Such a Jean response. You're cute when you blush."

"Stop," Jean smiled a bit. "Because you don't want me actually falling for you, now."

Lisa blinked and let her grin morph into a smile.

"Ah, but why wouldn't I?" Lisa responded with a flirtatious wink.

Jean's heart momentarily stopped, so she coughed, hoping that getting her lungs to move would trigger her heart to remember it's job. Lisa laughed and leaned back in her seat casually.

"Anyway, I'll need you to meet me tomorrow night, at Crave. And I need those coupons," Lisa changed the subject. Jean thanked Barbatos she was so perceptive and understanding of boundaries.

"I can get Keqing on Yanfei's mom's case," Jean offered. "She's my secretary for the Council, and she's from Liyue. I'm sure they know each other."

"Perfect. I bet Rosaria could forge some coupons," Lisa contemplated. Then her smile faded, and she looked sincerely at Jean. "Thank you. For everything."

"It's really no problem. You helped me." Jean tilted her head to the side and smiled in the slightest. "Now I can help you."

They sat like that, for a bit, minds running over plans for the future, whether about each other, or about tomorrow night. Jean found herself lost in Lisa's eyes, her vision fading and her thoughts unfocused, but was interrupted by Lisa standing.

"We should get in contact with Keqing and Rosaria, then," Lisa picked her mug up as she spoke, and chugged what was left of the coffee.

She then walked, casually and nearly practiced, over to Jean. Bending down, she pecked Jean's cheek, and then walked off with her phone in hand, depositing the mug on the table once again. She left without another look.

Jean sat there for a while. She leaned back far in her chair, arms cross over her chest, her right hand reaching forward to carefully run her finger along the top of the mug, contemplating the heat rushing to her face.

—

Of course Keqing knew Yanfei, and Yanfei was very excited to help. She and her mother both were incredibly active with the law, but while her mother specialized in Child Protection Services, Yanfei wanted to be a prosecution lawyer and start her own firm.

Regardless, both were, after an eventful Facetime, totally up for the challenge. Yanfei's mother shared her daughter's excited and active personality, and was perfectly ready to jump at an opportunity to help out a struggling student.

Lisa, meanwhile, easily got Rosaria to help out with making a fake coupon.

"It's easy," Rosaria explained, "All you do is use photoshop and the school printer."

"For what?" Kaeya asked.

"Lisa wants me to make a fake Crave coupon or two," Rosaria shrugged.

"Ooo, going on a date with your girlfriend, eh?" Kaeya grinned.

"Don't talk to me until you get a boyfriend," Lisa crossed her arms and stuck out her tongue.

"Impossible." Kaeya flicked his hair. Lisa did not fail to catch Albedo's staring as Kaeya animatedly performed his dramatics. Hopeless, the lot of 'em. "I'm too perfect. Nobody could ever match my level of hotness. Besides you, bae."

"Aw, thanks," Lisa cooed. "But you better get that ego in check or Albedo'll forever be too intimidated to approach you."

"Albedo doesn't get intimidated," Kaeya insisted with confidence. "He's perfectly brave and introverted at the same time. He's no afraid to speak his mind or insist he wants quiet time to study. He's like the most perfectly balanced human. And he's brilliant. He doesn't have outward confidence but when he gets talking about shit he knows it's like he has no fear, and–"

"Yeah, I'm gonna stop you there," Mona sighed. "Please, Lisa, spare me."

"Oh, have you seen Jean's ambition?" Lisa leaned on her palm and stared wistfully off into the distance. "She wants to be a politician. I can't get my mind off of her dedication. So intent on achieving what she wants, such a perfectly balanced human."

"Stop," Kaeya laughed.

Mona moaned and slammed her head into the table.

"And she's brilliant. Like a genius, maybe even smarter than Albedo–"

"OH, SAY THAT AGAIN!" Kaeya gasped.

As the two started arguing about how much better their respective crushes were, Jean sat down, late to lunch after helping her teacher clean up again. She blinked and blushed hard at the topic.

"They're joking," Diluc noticed her expression. He sat closer to the main group than usual, probably because the end was occupied by Venti's cross-class anemo group today. "Lisa just likes messing with Kaeya's crush, and reasonably so. She doesn't actually like you. She respects your boundaries."

"Oh," Jean nodded. "Good."

"Doesn't sound to good." Mona looked at Jean intently. "You definitely like her, don't you?"

"No!" Jean shook her head. "Lisa and I are just pretending, we'll be over once tonight's plan works out."

"Alright," Mona snorted.

"I know you all love to think I actually like Lisa, and she likes me, but we're just faking," Jean insisted. "Get it in your heads, please."

"Girl, you literally spend all our study sessions at Amber's together in the corner. There's nobody to pretend for, then. And you're always chatting, constantly," Rosaria laughed.

"Well, she's my friend," Jean noted.

Everyone not engaging in a heated argument decided to simultaneously stare at Jean.

—

That night, Rosaria had the printed coupons and handed them to Lisa under her desk.

"Miss Rosaria, please tell me you aren't drug dealing again," the teacher sighed dramatically. "This is Teyvat history, you should have learned how bad drugs are by now. Remember what happened to the Keanri'ahns?"

"We got them addicted to opium and they all died a horrible death," Rosaria recited.

"Yes, and their population became separated from the rest in an attempt to stop the spread of other drugs, and in the end they all disappeared," the teacher instructed. "So you understand how–"

"It's not drugs," Lisa sighed. "She's handing me a note."

"Oh?" the teacher looked surprised. "Well, you know the drill."

Lisa sent Rosaria a wink and then stood up, holding the coupon in front of her. She sent a sweeping gaze over the entire class, eyes landing on Kaeya. Kaeya's eyes widened and he shook his head aggressively.

"Keaya is totally checking out Albedo's ass," Lisa said without a hint of emotion. "Look at this gayass shit."

The whole class turned to face Kaeya, who successfully opened his laptop and hid his face in time to avoid Albedo's questioning look.

Lisa wasn't finished. She also had to get the word out to the world:

"Eula's been staring out the window across the courtyard at Amber, who's in band right now," Lisa continued. "And at lunch Venti totally kissed Xiao." Then, for good measure and to make it seem more believable, she added: "Also, you—meaning me—are totally way too gay for Jean, cool it."

She then sat down and stuffed the coupons in her pocket, pretending to be unfazed. Oh, how she was laughing inside.

"Man, I write great gossip for someone who couldn't care less," Rosaria muttered to herself.

Thus, the drugs were transfered successfully, and Kaeya, and a few other innocent students, were successfully gay'd.

—

Lisa was driving Razor to Fischl's when Razor realized something.

"Those coupons," Razor said. "They said they were from a magazine."

"You read them?" Lisa hadn't even put the time into checking out the information, having trusted Rosaria.

"Yes, I was curious," Razor smiled cutely. "They said they were from a magazine called Playboy. What is that?"

Lisa broke out into a grin.

"Oh, how I love you, Rosaria," Lisa laughed.

After Razor was dropped off, Lisa drove herself over to Jean's. She parked right outside the house and started making her way around the house, towards the back, where Jean's room window was.

"Miss Minci," Jean's father sneered. "Leave."

He was gardening, right beside the porch, and she hadn't even noticed him, wearing all green and covered in dirt.

"I know your family hates mine and shit, but like, I just need to talk to Jean for a school project," Lisa reasoned.

"The audacity," he scoffed.

So Lisa put her hands in the air and walked away. When he wasn't looking, she simply snuck into a bush and walked behind the leaves to the back.

Jean was already at the window, which was open. From what Lisa could see, she was wearing some kind of suit.

"Overkill?" she asked.

"No," Lisa breathed. "Perfect. Get down here so I can see your beautiful self."

Jean blushed hard but complied, shimmying out the window and onto the roof. She walked across, to the edge, and then jumped and rolled onto the ground with perfect form. Her suit was navy blue, with gold and red accents. Her hair was up in its usual ponytail, but decorated with a shining hairtye. Her heels were on point.

"You look amazing," Jean smiled at Lisa, who was wearing one of her mother's dresses.

"I am but a moon to your sun," Lisa replied dramatically.

"You hang out with Kaeya too much, though I admit, the dramatics do suit you," Jean smiled gently, self-conciously.

Lisa gave her a comforting hand, and she accepted it. They squeezed through the bushes, hand-in-hand.

—

To get to the restaurant, they had to walk through a whole mall. Crave had a large restaurant on the top floor of the structure, which was where Lisa's parents were.

Obviously, this meant there were tons of distractions.

"Ice cream, Jean," Lisa said again. "Come on. We're not actually eating at Crave, you know I'll be hungry."

"Ice cream isn't filling, though," Jean smiled. "At least get a churro or something."

"Oh, so you admit we could get a snack?" Lisa smirked. "Come along then, darling."

"Lisa, we have to be on time, and you know what I said—"

"Come on," Lisa pulled her by the hand.

They reached the popular snack-flooded section of the mall, laughing and walking very closely. Many people stared. They were dressed up for a fancy date, but instead were giggling and getting sugar all over their attire.

"One day, I wanna be that flamboyantly lesbian," a middle schooler pointed at Jean and Lisa in passing.

"Yo, that's like, icon-level," their friend responded in awe.

Before Jean could react, Lisa dipped Jean into a deep bow and kissed her lips, eyes sparkling in mirth. Jean had to stop herself from both laughing and exploding before Lisa pulled her back to her feet.

The middle schoolers started clapping and Lisa took a playful little stage bow. Jean blushed and coughed in embarrassment.

"What's happening? Did they just propose?" a passerby asked a stranger. "Whatever it is, I'll clap, I guess."

So that was how Jean and Lisa ended up causing a raucous of clapping and became lesbian icons outside of a churro booth.

Next, they actually continued their way up an escalator and towards the Crave. Jean got a call, and paused to take it. Lisa knew it must have been from Yanfei's mom, as according to the plan, she'd call when she was nearby.

Jean finally hung up and sent a thumbs up Lisa's way. Lisa grinned, excitement bubbling in her chest. She was ready to make her parents get what they deserved.

"M'lady," Lisa reached out her hand. "Would you accompany me to this fancy mall restaurant?"

"Oh, yes," Jean smiled, kissing the hand and then taking it in her own. "Would be an honor."

Lisa's heart swelled with glee. This gentle, carefree, stressfree look on Jean was probably worth all those years of suffering under her parent's reign. All those years of being Jean's friend and watching her across the class, admiring her but worrying for her health. She'd suffer it all again just to see how beautiful Jean looked when she was with Lisa.

That might be the drama talking, but whatever.

Soon they made it to Crave, and took their reserved seats. They sat comfortably close, on the same side of the booth, leaning into each other, peering at the same meal. By the third time Lisa loudly said 'Oh, DARLING, that looks simply AMAZING', her parents, a booth over, finally turned to make sure the ridiculous voice wasn't their daughter. They were disappointed.

"Lisa, what are you doing here?" her mother hissed.

Lisa turned around and faced her parents over the booth. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a pink-haired woman, Yanfei-like in appearance, a table over. She was not-so-subtly watching the interaction in the reflection of her dead phone screen.

Jean watched in respecting awe as Jean spoke strongly against her parents. She explained what they were doing, 'just a casual date', and didn't flinch once at their aggressive words and the onlookers.

The fierce high schooler battled on, and eventually her mother stood up and ordered Lisa to leave. Lisa stood up too. Jean followed suit, standing protectively in front of her girlfriend. Lisa visibly relaxed at Jean's gentle touch to her pinkie finger.

"You have no right to dictate my life, you homophobic bitch of a mother," Lisa retorted.

"Young LADY!" her mother screeched. "How dare you use such language?!"

"It helps get the point across," Lisa crossed her arms.

"What point?!" Her father seethed, red in anger and embarrassment.

"That you're both abusive, neglectful, horrible, manipulative, shitty, motherfu–"

Her mother slapped her across the cheek.

Yanfei's mom stood up, her chair scraping against the floor with the motion, and flashed her CPS identification card.

A policeman, who'd been observing the scene after a regular customer reported the interaction minutes ago, took out handcuffs.

Jean grabbed Lisa's hand and walked her briskly out of the restaurant.

They spent the rest of the day at the arcade, laughing through shitty zombie shooter games.

—

By the next week, Lisa was holding Razor's hand as they walked into their foster home. It was painted a rather boring yellow, like a faded and half-dead sunflower, but the garden was sparkling with green grass, and the tree in the front yard had a cute swing, lovingly decorated with a mess of stickers.

The owner of the place greeted them kindly, and welcomed Lisa and Razor with open arms. The home was no further than ten minutes away from the school, placed there in mind of foster kids who might end up in need of a highschool.

Razor found friends his age there: Mika, a boy who went to a different high school and had moved a million times between foster homes. Freminet and Lynette: Lisa had seen them in the Fontanian class once or twice. Lyney, their older sibling, hung out with Lisa and she helped him study. There weren't many other kids present at the foster care center; just some young girl named Yaoyao, who spent most of her time with one of the caretakers, Cloud Retainer.

It didn't sound like much, but they formed great relations very fast, and soon they were all like siblings.

School life went on like normal for Lisa. She met Jean by the gate, gave her a kiss, and held her hand on the way in.

Nobody questioned it; neither of them asked to stop. It was like it came so natural to them that there was no point stopping. Jean's life was still rough at home, but Lisa always managed to cheer her up and get her away from her overworking. Jean never failed to entertain Lisa with her cute smiles and brilliant ideas.

A week after their plan was executed, Lisa sat next to Jean at Mondstadt's table.

"Sooo, would I be the crazy uncle, or the crazy archonfather?" Kaeya contemplated.

"Kaeya, they're not even married," Rosaria groaned.

"Yet." Kaeya winked. "I call best man."

"Only if Albedo's your plus one," Lisa teased.

Kaeya shook his head sadly. "He spends so much time with Aether. There is no hope."

"Oh, so you admit you like him, though." Lisa crossed her arms smugly over her chest. "And Aether spends time with literally everybody. He'll go off in an hour and spend a whole day with Ayaka or something, I don't think Albedo's anything special to him. Go get your mans."

Conversations like that just continued, and Lisa never wavered while Jean sat back, slightly flustered as they discussed imaginary grandchildren or marriages. Jean enjoyed witnessing it, and she loved the warm feeling she felt every time Lisa made to hold her hand.

Whenever someone would ask about their relationship, their answer was a simple 'It's complicated'.

But it wasn't. To them, it was simple. They loved each other. Even if they never spoke it out loud or declared each other as girlfriends, they knew inside that they were. All it was a simple love and nothing more.

They went on dates (yes, they called them dates), and gratefully took couple's discounts on Valentine's day. Nobody but them understood their closeness and their strange arrangement.

It continued this way. Unofficial, in a way, until finally, the first time they declared themselves together: at their wedding, when Lisa and Jean said to hell with their parents and invited all their friends.

They were happy together, together until they died.

Their parents could go fuck themselves.

They wondered if Barbara or Razor would carry on their legacy.