"Tartaglia Childe Ajax and Morax Rex Lapis Zhongli, having proclaimed your love and commitment to one another in the eyes of these loved ones, and with the power vested in me by Teyvat law and the city of Liyue Harbor, I am happy to pronounce you husband and husband! You may kiss!" Yanfei exclaimed.

Hu Tao stood, grinning and nearly crying, in a beautiful brown bridesmaid's dress with red flowers. Next to her the flower girl, Qiqi, stood emotionlessly. Zhongli didn't have many friends, and they varied in gender, so Childe just shrugged and said he could have both bridesmaids and groomsmen.

As a result, Zhongli's best man was Xiao, groomsman was Venti, and bridesmaid was Hu Tao. Childe, meanwhile, invited Kaeya as his best man while Thoma, Scaramouche, and Aether were his groomsmen.

It took a long time for those two idiots to fall in love, and Hu Tao witnessed it all. From their first meeting when Tartaglia needed a coffin for an agent he accidentally killed, to their first kiss, when they were at a restaurant downtown. She was even there a few minutes after the two proposed. Having not witnessed it, she made them recount the tale to her until she could picture it like she was there.

Finally, the two were together. Hu Tao couldn't contain it. She started balling.

"It's okay," Qiqi said.

"I'm not sad, Qiqi, I'm overwhelmingly happy!" Hu Tao cried. "Do you have any tissues?"

"Here," a new voice interrupted in a whisper.

Hu Tao looked over at the officiator, the local law expert Yanfei. She held out a custom handkerchief to the Funeral Director, smiling lightly. Her smile was perfection in itself. Her hair was styled perfectly. The way she stood and talked- oh shit, the butterflies. Her kind eyes that contrasted her aesthetic shone so bright Hu Tao thought she'd stolen the sun. Not to mention, Pyro vision buddies!

"Thanks," Hu Tao smiled back after a moment of keeping herself together, wiping her eyes with the cloth.

Meanwhile, Childe and Zhongli finally stopped kissing, and the crowd started cheering like crazy. Kaeya wrapped an arm around Childe's shoulders in a side hug, Aether and Thoma cheered louder than ever, and Scaramouche just grumbled about free food.

Xiao noticed how Childe's friends seemed to be interacting and being all happy, so he looked up at Zhongli and awkwardly patted his shoulder. Venti pushed past Xiao and hugged Zhongli while crying an ocean. Hu Tao joined Venti, the handkerchief soaking.

After, the whole ceremony ended and the party started. Quickly ridding the area of chairs, the transition team set up the dance room. The whole event was hosted in the Golden House, so there was a lot of ground for fun.

Zhongli offered Childe a dance, and the two slow danced to a song Yun Jin performed live at a makeshift stage. Cello player Xingqiu, violin player Chongyun, harp player Venti, floral zither player Kazuha, and piano player Ningguang created a beautiful melody.

Hu Tao finally stopped crying and went to look for someone she knew so she could have a conversation. Wandering through the crowds of people watching the married couple dance, she came across a cool looking stranger, and settled on talking to them instead.

"Hi," Hu Tao waved. "Where are you from?"

"Inazuma," the short man grumbled.

"Ohhhhh I recognize you. You're Scaramouche, right? I can't believe I didn't recognize you!" Hu Tao laughed. "Childe's told me aaaaaaalll about you!"

"Great," he muttered.

"Why'd you come?" Hu Tao tilted her head.

"I was blackmailed," Scaramouche stayed rather emotionless, like it was a normal thing.

"By who? Why? Tell me everything, my little friend!" Hu Tao exclaimed, moving to stand next to him.

"That one, right there, did it," Scaramouche pointed at the floral zither player. "And his motive is because I should support my 'friends' and 'socialize': whatever that means."

"What was the blackmail?" Hu Tao interrogated.

"W-why would I tell you?" Scaramouche blushed and looked away.

"Mmmm okay then," Hu Tao narrowed her eyes. "Well, I'm gonna go find someone interesting to talk to, bye!"

She continued to wander around, looking for someone specifically. At this point, the dance had ended, and members of the crowd were flooding into the dance area to show off their own moves. Hu Tao scanned the crowd.

She can't believe she'd forgotten about that hot officiator! She was distracted by blackmail, which was her second profession, and had forgotten what her main goal was. She needed to return the handkerchief. And get another look at that girl, cause hoooooooooly rotten corpses, she was cute.

After scanning for a while longer, she was interrupted by someone.

"Hu Tao, right?" the new person asked.

"Oh, hi!" Hu Tao greeted Venti.

"I literally have heard so much about you, and apparently both Xiao AND Zhongli said we probably shouldn't meet because chaos would ensue, so I HAD to find you!" Venti exclaimed.

"OH MY GOD WAIT SAME!" Hu Tao smiled. "Zhongli was all like: 'I have this old friend and I have to have him be my groomsman but please don't interact with him because Liyue will explode'!"

"LITERALLY So I HAD to come over here," Venti grinned. "Also, there was someone else I wasn't supposed to meet. Something like Yamaya? Yomaya? Also someone called Art Attack Ye Eat-yo? Wanna find them?"

"Totall-" Hu Tao paused. "Sorry, I can't."

"Why?" Venti pouted.

"I have to go find someone," Hu Tao blushed a bit.

"Ooo, okay then," Venti winked. "Good luck! Just so you know, if you're ever looking for someone, always check the bar."

"Thanks for the advice!" Hu Tao grinned, walking towards the bar.

Back on track, Hu Tao. A pretty girl awaits you!

She scanned the crowd, but instantly got distracted by a strange looking couple hanging out in the corner. They were obviously from Sumeru by the way they dressed, and were both tall men. She grew curious and started to wander over.

"No, Hu Tao, stop it!" Hu Tao slapped her cheeks lightly. "Focus!"

Glancing at the strangers, who seemed to be arguing about sages and shared taxes or something, Hu Tao turned to face the bar. She caught a glimpse of bright pink hair near the bar area, and felt her heart leap. It must be her!

Pushing past a few Snezhnayans, a random detective, an incredibly drunk pirate, an exhausted green-haired goofy-ah ninja-lookin' babysitter, she was nearly there. But yet again, her ADHD mind pulled her away at the sight of two people dancing.

"Omg shippp," she whispered to herself, watching her best childhood friends Yun Jin and Xinyan twirl around each other.

She watched for a bit longer and then audibly gasped at the sight of her other friends, Chongyun and Xingqiu, waltzing together. She slapped herself again. Ships are sailing, but her own romance depended on her alone, she needed to focus!

Finally, she made it to the bar. But she was wrong. The pink hair belonged to some super hot Inazuman fox lady who was being taken to dance by an equally sexy purple-haired lady. Sighing, Hu Tao walked over to the bar stools, searching for a good seat to observe the crowd.

Jumping onto a bar stool, she observed the crowd. Ships, old and new, calm and flustered, tall and short, gay and lesbian, danced together throughout the room, almost making Hu Tao envious.

I mean, who wouldn't want someone to look at them like how that light blue haired Mondstadter did with that upbeat pyro bunny girl? Or how that other light blue haired girl from Inazuma danced with that blond fireworks chick? OR LOOK AT THOSE TWO, so cute how the blond one was blushing and the blue haired laughed at them and they're- NOPE. STOP IT.

"Excuse me," a masculine voice called to Hu Tao. "I'm being paid to bartend, not nanny, but seriously, get off my damn chair."

Hu Tao turned and stared at a grumpy red-haired bartender with a high ponytail.

"Aiya, sorry!" Hu Tao leapt off the chair, then froze.

In the seat next to her sat a girl about her age, reading a book with intensity. Her pink hair was very recognizable, and Hu Tao didn't see any kitsune ears! Immediately sitting beside the other, Hu Tao greeted the officiator.

"Hi," Hu Tao said.

The girl turned and looked at Hu Tao, seemingly quite surprised.

"Hello," she greeted, slowly closing her book, looking Hu Tao up and down.

I know Zhongli says it doesn't work, but it does! He fell for it! Whenever you meet a hot girl, Hu Tao, just flirt! Childe's voice echoed in her head. Here's a book I wrote on great flirts for all genders, try it out sometime, always works! Xingqiu added.

"Wow, there isn't a word in the dictionary that can describe your beauty," Hu Tao said.

Too bad she was not a very romantic or serious person, and it came incredibly unnaturally to her. Worse, the girl didn't even react.

"Of all your beautiful curves, your smile is my favorite one," this time, Hu Tao added a wink.

Still no response. Time to step the game up from scripted lines to specific improv.

"If I had to die, I'd take drowning in your eyes any day," Hu Tao said. Not bad for on the spot!

The pink-haired girl remained with a professional look, but this time she smiled a little.

"Your hair fits your face perfectly," Hu Tao thought of another. "But I bet your hand fits in mine even better."

She chuckled. She chuckled! The pink-haired girl actually laughed. Hu Tao doesn't know if it was because the flirt was bad or good, but she didn't know how flirting worked anyway (like she was NOT going to read Xingqiu's 800 page book) so she assumed it was a good sign.

"Oh- I'm so sorry, I didn't even ask your name," Hu Tao blinked, backing up a bit.

"Yanfei," she introduced, still giggling.

"God that fits you perfectly," Hu Tao muttered. "Ah- I'm Hu Tao. Here because I'm basically Zhongli's daughter-sister-bestie and also the bridesmaid!"

"I'm an officiator, and lawyer," Yanfei smiled genuinely.

So THAT'S why Hu Tao hasn't seen her around! Hu Tao always avoided the law! I mean cough pretend she didn't say that-

"I'd love for you to lock me up," Hu Tao grinned.

"Lawyers don't lock people up," Yanfei laughed louder than before, blushing slightly.

"But you'd do it just for me, right?" Hu Tao winked, blushing at how cute the other's laugh was.

"Sure," Yanfei chuckled.

"Are you going to order anything?" a bored voice interrupted.

Hu Tao turned to watch as the bartender glared the hell out of Yanfei and her.

"Yes, another sparkling sunsettia please," Yanfei smiled sweetly.

"Oh, me too!" Hu Tao glanced between Yanfei and Diluc. "But can you make it spicy? A Mondstadt nun told me to try it."

Diluc sauntered off, and Hu Tao turned back to Yanfei.

"So anyway, back to you," Hu Tao smiled.

She was running out of flirts, she realized. Her imagination was running dry, and her helpful tips were also dissipating from her memory. She started to revert back to using cheesy lines Childe taught her.

"I couldn't sleep last night," Hu Tao pouted. "Not because of this wedding, though. Because I was thinking about you."

Yanfei chuckled in her cute high-pitched laugh.

"You're really bad at this, you know?" Yanfei mentioned.

"Oh, how your words wound me!" Hu Tao said dramatically. "If only I had a hand to hold in these trying times!"

Yanfei rolled her eyes, glancing at the bar table.

"Would you like to go stargazing together? No, sorry, I wouldn't be able to see the stars with your eyes outshining them, never mind," Hu Tao tried to re-engage Yanfei.

"This isn't working," Yanfei mentioned again. "Do you need an example of an actually decent flirt?"

Hu Tao paused. Does this mean Yanfei is actually interested in her?

"Uh- sure," Hu Tao shrugged.

Yanfei turned her full body to face Hu Tao, who moved to do the same. Yanfei fluttered her eyes sexily and traced her fingers over the back of Hu Tao's hand, which was resting on her knee. Yanfei picked up the other's hand and brought it to her mouth, kissing it gently, not for once looking away from Hu Tao's eyes.

Hu Tao immediately turned red and was speechless. Yanfei dropped the serious act and burst out laughing.

"B-but you didn't even say anything!" Hu Tao sputtered.

"That's the thing about it," Yanfei chuckled, smiling brightly at the other. "Mystery, silence, slow and suggestive motions: that's how you win. I'd know, as a lawyer, I've seen MANY things."

Hu Tao recovered after a while, just as their drinks arrived.

"Try not to get too into those 'suggestive motions' near my bar, okay?" Diluc muttered as he set their drinks in front of them.

Hu Tao promptly started blushing again. She turned back towards the bartop and picked up her glass, drinking slowly.

After a while, the two stop flirting and instead get to know each other. They chat for what felt like hours, oversharing their personal lives and cracking jokes. Hu Tao had been mostly attracted to the other due to her looks, but now she realized she was a very fun person.

They'd gone through a great many drinks, both tipsy but not drunk, and they were certainly enjoying their time, as all wedding guests should. Eventually, though, the wedding was decreased in population. Most of the guests from Inazuma had left so they could arrive home in time, and most Sumeru people were packing up to go because they are reasonable and value sleep.

Nearly all of the Mondstadters stayed (they were all drunk and wanted more free drinks) and the Liyueans were just there for the heck of it: they could walk home whenever. All of Childe's Snezhnayan friends and family were staying as well: it was too long of a journey to get home, so they decided to enjoy Liyue while they could.

Thus, the party was still going, but a bit empty. The thing was, though, that with the lack of reasonable people, the drunkards and insane ones were the only ones left, which led to the wedding becoming a real party. Only the OGs and true drunks were left, meaning TONS of fun! The night was only beginning!

"Care for a dance?" Yanfei asked, reaching toward the Funeral Director.

"Huh?" Hu Tao turned to face the other, a bit sluggish.

"C'mon, now that all of the waltzing and tangoing is over, we can do whatever dance we want!" Yanfei smiled.

Hu Tao shrugged and accepted the other's hand.

They started off a bit awkwardly, but Hu Tao started breaking out completely awful bad dance moves, which got Yanfei to laugh in turn, and the tension then dissipated. Around them, random groups of friends were laughing and dancing, leaving Hu Tao and Yanfei in their own world, unnoticed by the others.

That's what they thought, at least.

Zhongli was watching Childe drunkenly challenge Diluc to a fist-fight when he got distracted by a lot of giggling. Turning to watch, he witnessed his boss and the officiator laugh at each other as they attempted awful dance moves.

Zhongli smiled slightly. Hu Tao and Yanfei were both very upbeat people, but seeing Yanfei so carefree in front of others, and her 'clients', was a surprise. Hu Tao laughing this much was also quite different. They both looked genuinely happy, it was so innocent.

Though, he paused his train of thoughts when he noticed Hu Tao flirtatiously touch Yanfei's forearm. Maybe not so innocent- wait, when could Hu Tao flirt? Damn it, Childe corrupted another innocent soul. Then again she was a funeral director so maybe that was the wrong word....

"WANNA FIGHT, BRO?" Childe's voice suddenly interrupted Zhongli's contemplation.

He'd gone from challenging an unfazed Diluc to approaching Itto. This wasn't going to be good; Childe's vision was glowing slightly, as if he was ready to use it.

"HAHAHA SOUNDS FUN!" Itto grinned back. He wasn't drunk, just like that all the time.

"Itto, c'mon, he's drunk and stupid," Gorou sighed.

Those two were the only Inazumans, besides Kazuha and Heizou who stayed with Scaramouche, who were still there. Probably because Itto wanted to hang out with his newfound friend, Xiangling.

"Alright, let us calm down," Zhongli approached them. "Childe, I did not marry you just so that you could beat up all of the guests. Do you want a divorce?"

"When did you become so teasing," Childe pouted, stumbling around.

"Maybe it was your influence," Zhongli said affectionately.

Zhongli glanced back at the dance floor when he heard a sudden burst of laughter. It was Hu Tao, blushing incredibly hard, with Yanfei nearly rolling on the floor crying with giggles.

"Maybe next time I won't have an open bar," Zhongli decided the two must be drunk off their minds.

"What do you mean, 'next time'? ARE YOU GONNA DIVORCE ME FOR REAL? Zhongli I love you babbyyyyyy," Childe draped himself over the other, completely filled with fire water.

Meanwhile, Hu Tao just got herself a first date. Hu Tao and Yanfei, huh? That was going to be chaotic later. But for now, he had to deal with this ginger child.