me: *looks around to see who keeps calling me as 'hey you!'* 

Some random stranger:  *waves* 

me: *is concerned* uhh hi?

Some random stranger: *runs forward to embrace me* 

me: *is throughly shook* 

Some random stranger: *pushes me aside and hugs the guy behind me* 

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Never ever take your chances with a tread mill of lego blocks

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Never piss a cow off

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If you can say these words, fast, and without stopping, then you are a genius.

eye

yam 

stew 

pid 

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Always be the one who ends the conversation with a 'lol' and not the other way around. 

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When you accidentally call the teacher 'mom' 

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mom: what was that noise?

me: my blanket fell off *eats another crisp*

mom: but the sound-

me: I was in it

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when you say good bye to someone and you both start walking in the same direction...

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A method for dispelling awkward silences

1) always keep confetti in your pockets.

2) when the awkward silence fills in...

3) punch the other person in the face and run away

most likely, they'll leave you alone for the next two days

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