Rule #6: Keep your parents from knowing ANYTHING. Parents freak out and ruin everything, enough said.

I should have known that something was up as soon as I woke up that morning.

By this point, I was about two weeks into my superhero training and things were going the same as ever. I'd go to school everyday, maybe go over to Dan's after school (depending if our parents were home to notice our absence or how big our homework load was), and then go home for dinner to keep our parents from getting too distracted. Then, if I hadn't gotten enough training in that afternoon, I would sneak out that night. Sometimes Rachel would come with me but usually I went alone.

This system had worked perfectly so far, neither my mom or Ron had suspected anything. But that morning, one of the few mornings I actually got to sleep in, something was off. Usually the house was filled with noises of everyone bustling around on the weekends, mostly because Rachel had no idea how to be quiet, but that morning everything was silent. And it wasn't like no one was home, everyone was home.

Of course, I didn't notice any of this. I just silently rejoiced that everyone was quiet for once and went down the hall to go to the bathroom. It was when I was leaving the bathroom that tragedy struck: my mom was waiting for me in the hall. I had just barely pulled up my pants and washed my hands when I saw her (good thing I actually washed my hands). She was waiting for me with no expression on her face, arms crossed over her chest. Everything about it screamed trouble. But I was still half asleep so I just said good morning like the idiot I was. And what did she say?

"Come downstairs," she said. Then she just walked away! That was when I finally understood that something was wrong. I considered running to my sister's room to see what was going on but my mom yelled that I should hurry up so I didn't have the time. All I could do was go downstairs.

When I got into the living room, my mom and Ron were sitting on the couch side by side. There was a single chair in front of them. My chair. The chair they would kill me in. (Not really, but let me be dramatic for a second.) They both looked up when I walked in and I sat down without saying anything. I figured that I might as well get this thing over with, whatever it turned out to be.

"Matt, we need to talk to you about something very serious," my mom said.

"Honey, we agreed that we wouldn't consider it serious until after we talked to him," Ron interjected.

"Well I think it's serious so I'm considering it serious now."

"Whatever you say. Matt, listen to your mother." You could tell that Ron was only on his first cup of coffee, he still had sleep lines around his eyes. He wasn't going to be very enthusiastic about anything until after he finished his cup.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"You know damn well what's going on," my mom snapped.

"Actually, I don't."

"Don't use that tone with me."

"Honey..." Ron said.

"Fine, I suppose he might not know what's going on."

"I'm confused," I said.

"Matt, your mother is concerned that you are not always where you say you are."

"Meanining?"

"Meaning she thinks that you're sneaking out at night to go who knows where."

"She does?"

"Yes."

"I don't think that he's sneaking out, I know, that he's sneaking out," my mom said.

I decided to try to play dumb for the time being. At least until I had some sort of excuse to give her. It wasn't like I could tell them that I had become a superhero and was being trained in a basement by a grown man they didn't know now.

"Mom, I can explain."

"It better be a damn good explanation."

"Well-"

"You are only seventeen, Matt! When you turn eighteen I can't technically stop you from being who knows where at who knows what time but right now I can. This is totally irresponsible of you!"

"Mom-"

"Where are you even going all the time?"

"Honey..." Ron said.

"What."

"I think this conversation will be a lot more rewarding if you let Matt actually speak."

My mom turned to me. "Well?"

"Mom, I will admit that I haven't always been in the house when you thought I was."

"Ah ha!" she said. "I told you, Ron."

"Please, let me finish." Oh god I have nothing to finish with. "I promise that I was sneaking out for a good reason."

"And what was that good reason."

"It was..." Shit, shit, shit. "Ike! My reason was Ike." Nice job, dude, self high-five.

"Ike?" my mom said, sounding even more confused than before but thankfully not as mad.

"Yeah... He's been having a really hard time lately."

"What's been going on?" Ron asked, leaning forward with concern: a sure sign that they were believing me.

"It's his parents, they're having problems." Sure, this wasn't technically true (or really true at all). But Ike's parents had had problems in the past and they could have been having problems, as far as I knew. I just didn't not know that they were having problems. It was a lie I was willing to live with.

"That's awful," Ron said. "So you've been going over to help him deal with it?"

"Yeah... He doesn't want anyone to know so I decided it was easier to sneak out. It was stupid and I'm sorry."

"Well I can't say that I approve of your methods, but I do admire that you are so loyal to your friend."

"It was completely irresponsible," my mom said.

"And I'm so very sorry."

"I'm sure. But your actions must have consequences."

"Come on, let's cut the boy some slack," Ron said. "Now that we know about Ike's parents he doesn't have to sneak out anymore."

This didn't exactly work with my plan of keeping them from suspecting me, well, ever, but I was happy with whatever happened. If my mom grounded me that would ruin everything. I'd just have to get better at sneaking out now.

"Fine. As long as he agrees not to sneak out anymore."

"Of course I won't." (I totally would.)

"That settles it then," Ron said. "Matt is forgiven and he won't sneak out anymore. Can I go make breakfast now?"

"Yes," my mom said begrudgingly.

My stomach growled at the thought of breakfast but I couldn't let myself stick around much longer. After that conversation, I wasn't going to be able to sneak out anymore (or at least for a while) so I had to leave immediately for Dan's to get some work done. It wasn't that hard to get out of the house, my parents were feeling pretty proud of themselves because they thought that they had solved all my problems. All it took was me saying "I'm heading out" and then a few minutes later I was in the car.

The drive over to Dan's was peaceful, which was awesome. Usually I had Rachel with me and she was always filled with news about her day. You'd think that since she did the exact same thing everyday (I'm not even kidding, she's the epitome of a creature of habit) there wouldn't be anything to tell, but she always had plenty to say. But today she was still at home and it was just me. If only I could figure out another way for Rachel to get to Dan's every day...

I was kind of (definitely) hoping that this peacefulness would continue when I got to Dan's place. Sometimes he was off doing whatever else and I was able to just hang out and do whatever I want. But as soon as I entered the building (which was still as creepy as the first time I had been there, by the way), I could hear music blasting (yet another reason Dan was an idiot, anyone that heard the music would know someone was here). I expected to see Dan dancing around the lair again and instead I found him and Rachel (you know, who was supposed to be AT HOME), playing air guitar while they listened to the Rolling Stones.

"What the hell is going on?" I yelled, barely audible over the music. Dan turned around, surprised, and shut off the speakers.

"We're dancing," he said.

"Why?"

"Who are you, the fucking people from Footloose?" Rachel said.

Dan brightened. "I love that movie."

"Me too!"

"Would both of you just shut up?" I said. "Some of us are here to actually work."

"God, there's no need to be such an asshole."

"No, Rachel, your brother is right." Dan's face turned more serious. "The villains are out there and we need to continue our training."

"Finally you say something that makes sense."

Dan forced a smile, his whole presence had dimmed considerably, and he started to make his way to the training room. I went to follow him but then my sister seemed to be struck with some idea, an evil grin taking over her face.

"Wait!" she said. "I know what you can do!"

"What do you mean?" Dan asked.

"You guys have to get prepared, right?"

"Yeah."

"I know how you can do that while also getting a day off from training."

"Rachel-" I started to say but Dan cut me off. He was already starting to get excited about whatever she had come up with.

"Go on," he said.

"Well, Matt can't go out and actually save people if he doesn't have a costume-"

"Uniform," I corrected.

"If he doesn't have a uniform, right?"

"Right," Dan said.

"Why don't we figure out what that will be today!"

Simultaneously Dan said "Yes!" and I said "NO!"

"That's a great idea!" Dan said. "We can take a day off from all the training but still be productive. You're a genius, Rachel."

Rachel glowed. "I know."

"I don't want to do this, I want to train."

"You can train by yourself today," Rachel said, shrugging. "Dan and I can design it ourselves."

"Oh hell no. What do either of you know about making something like this anyway?"

"I made my uniform," Dan said.

"Gee, that makes me feel better."

"Here's something that will make you feel better." Rachel walked over to her bag and pulled out a stackful of papers, which she handed to me. "I already sketched a few ideas."

"Is this what you're doing when you're supposed to be doing your homework?"

"Oh shut up and tell me what you think."

I'm sure someone, someone like Rachel, would have loved the designs. But that someone was not me. For one, the sketches all had capes and were way too tight for my liking (I don't think I could have worn underwear in them, which would have brought up a whole other issue). Not to mention that they were all pink and black. I wonder whose favorite colors those are? Oh yeah, Rachel's. And half the sketches weren't even of me! They were of her! I was the hero, my uniform actually mattered. Self-appointed sidekicks could wear whatever they wanted as long as they stayed out of the way.

"Fuck no," I said.

"Why not?"

"They're awful!"

"You just want to hate them. Why do you have to be such an asshole!"

"Children, children," Dan said. "Let's calm down before you start fist fighting."

"I would totally win that fight," I muttered.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "What?" I said. "I have super strength, of course I can beat you up!"

"Just let me see the designs."

I practically threw the papers at him and Dan studied examined the designs. Rachel was standing there like he was already agreeing with her but I could see the look on his face; he thought the same thing about those colors and the capes.

"These are... interesting."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rachel snapped.

"Nothing!" he said. "They're a very good starting point."

"A very loose starting point," I added.

"Exactly." He moved to his table and grabbed his own piece of paper. "You've given us a good starting point and now we're going to expand on it."

"And change the colors," I said, prompting my sister to glare at me. I just shrugged and sat down at the table opposite Dan.

"So what exactly are these expanded uniforms going to look like?" Rachel asked, not moving any closer to the table.

"Give me a second and I'll show you." Dan was working furiously, his hand flying all over the paper.

I turned to my sister. "And for the record, the only uniform that matters is mine. Your uniform only exists if we have enough fabric."

"Do you really think you can act superior while talking about fabric?"

"Maybe."

"Ah ha!" Dan said, sitting up triumphantly. "I think I've got a design worked out."

"That was fast," I said.

"Let me see," Rachel said.

"Nope." He got up from the table, bringing the paper with him, and, to my horror, pulled a sewing machine out of a cabinet. "Both of you will just find fault in it, when there is none, so you'll see it when I'm finished."

"How long will that take?" I asked.

"Not long. Just hang out and I'll tell you when I'm done."

Let me just say, Dan lied. It took super long. Rachel and I amused ourselves by watching TV for a while (AKA fighting over the remote) and then I trained by myself for a while (it's boring working out by yourself) and then we just sat around on Dan's couch while we waited. He didn't say anything to us the entire time he worked. Every once in a while he would mutter to himself but we couldn't hear what he was saying. I think he was repeating stuff he heard on Project Runway. Eventually the two of us just fell asleep on the couch. Being bored was tiring.

He woke us up some time later, maybe around three, when he was done. Looking back on it now, it was kind of impressive how fast he had finished both (yes, that loser Rachel did get a matching uniform) uniforms so quickly. But at the time I was annoyed because a) he had woken me up and b) those hours seemed like forever in the moment. Dan ignored (or just didn't notice) my annoyance and instead excitedly told us to come try on our new outfits (yes, he actually said outfits). He directed each of us to our own dressing rooms, who knew why he had more than one (or even had one), and told us not to complain until we saw ourselves in a mirror.

I have to hand it to the guy, he knew his way around a sewing machine. The uniforms were red and blue (bringing to mind my mom's idea in the hospital that I was becoming Captain America) and had no capes, thank god. They were kind of tight, which I guess is a requirement if you're going to be swinging around buildings and whatever, but not restricting. The tights were almost comfortable, actually. And they weren't so tight that you could see, well, everything.

Overall, I looked kind of awesome. Rachel looked okay too, I guess (she was preening so much you'd have thought that she had made them herself). We stood next to each other in front of Dan's full-length mirror and the effect was pretty cool. We almost looked like a real kickass team (almost).

"So what do you think?" Dan asked, trying (and failing) to not to look like a nervous little girl.

"I love it!" Rachel screeched, already reaching for her phone to take a picture of herself.

I slapped it out of her hand. "You can't take a picture of yourself like this! It's called a SECRET identity, remember?"

Her face fell. "Oh, yeah."

"What do you think, Matt?"

I studied myself in the mirror, trying to decide if this was actually worth me being nice (what? It was a hard decision). But then I saw Dan's nervous face again and decided to cut the guy some slack.

"They're awesome," I said.

He grinned. "Yay! Who knew I could actually please both of you."

"I know, it seems impossible that you'd actually do a good job."

For once I had meant this comment good naturedly and Dan knew that. He smiled again and said:

"I'm going to take that as a compliment."

"You should," I said and we high-fived.

Even if I fail horribly at this whole hero thing, I thought. At least I'll look hot.