Rule #12: Create and maintain a secret lair to keep all your cool gadgets and stuff in. Batman may not have had powers but he had a fucking awesome lair. So follow Batman's lead and get yourself your very own Batcave.

The next day was Saturday, which should have meant that I had the day to relax and stuff. But did that happen? Of course not. Why would I be able to relax one day of the week after training constantly and saving the love of my life from certain death? Silly me. Instead, while I tried to take a nap and ignore my mother, my day was interrupted by my best friend storming into my room like his ass was on fire.

"Uh, hey dude," I said. "What's up?"

"What's up? That's all you have to say to me? WHAT'S UP?"

"Was I supposed to start with hi?"

"Maybe you could start with what fucking happened yesterday."

"What happened yesterday? You didn't even speak to me yesterday, Ike. You just made fun of the superheroes the whole time with Lena."

I couldn't help but bristle at her name. Could we please take a second to reflect on the fact that Lena fucking Lester was my nemesis? The weird was a real place.

"Let me narrow this down for you," he said, crossing his arms over in his chest in a way that actually was sort of terrifying.

Wait, was Ike about to reveal that he was a supervillain like Lena? Was that even possible? I sure hoped it wasn't because I wasn't up to a) fighting my best friend, b) fighting my best friend in my underwear, or c) dying in my underwear.

"Okay..."

"So I was walking home yesterday, about the same time you were walking with Faye."

"All right."

"And I saw you two on my way."

"That makes sense," I said. "You do live next door to her."

"And I was all ready to ignore the shit out of you guys because I was pissed at you and you guys are gross together anyway."

I shrugged. "That's fair." I still wasn't seeing the point of all this.

"But as I rounded the corner something caught my attention. Faye was walking to her house and she was kidnapped by these guys in a black van."

Suddenly I saw the point of this story but didn't want to give anything away. "What! Is she okay?"

"Don't play dumb with me. You know what happened next."

"I really don't. Is she all right?"

"Naturally, seeing your little crush get kidnapped was very shocking for both of us," Ike said. "However, that wasn't the most shocking thing I saw that day. After Faye was thrown into the van you started running after it, which was to be expected. But what I didn't expect was for you to suddenly start FLYING and going after the van."

"Dude, you're saying you saw me FLY? You've flipped, that never happened."

"Oh really? Fine, I'll play. Let's say that I had a stroke or something and thought I saw you fly that time. But I watched out my window all that afternoon hoping to see some sign of Faye. Finally, after hours of waiting, I saw her come back with you. You flew her right back to her front door."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"Nuh huh."

"Uh huh."

"What do you want me to say, Ike?" I asked. "That didn't happen, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Seriously, Matt? You're seriously not going to admit it?"

"I have nothing to admit!"

"Fine, then let me continue my story. So I'm so surprised at this little event, even the fact that you finally got her to kiss you, that it takes me a minute to react. By the time I'm recovered you've already left and Faye is going inside. So I run out of my house to go confront her."

"You did?"

"I did?"

SHIT.

"And do you know what she said?"

"Nothing because you were really just dreaming the whole time and then you woke up?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

DAMN IT.

"So what did she say?" I asked.

"She refused to tell me anything. She played dumb, like you are now, and pretended that you had forgotten your notebook and had come back to grab it. I interrogated her for a while but finally I just gave up."

"So what's the point of all of this?"

"The point is," he said. "I know that there's something going on, something that you're not telling me. I don't know why but you're lying to me Matt and I'm tired of it."

FUCK.

"Ike, I promise-"

"Don't make promises you can't keep. Just tell me, please. I'm your best friend, I have a right to know if there's something going on with you."

"There's noth-"

Before I could continue lying my ass off (is there even a point in lying when the other person knows you're full of shit? Why did I keep lying to Ike when he knew almost everything? I was such an idiot), my mom came in.

"Ike! I didn't know you were here," she said, smiling. "It's been forever since you've been by."

"I know, it has been too long," Ike replied, smiling right back like he hadn't just accused me of being a liar. How did he just turn everything around like that? I needed him to teach me that trick when this was all over. If we were still friends after this was over, I mean.

"Well I'm glad you're here now. Why don't you guys go out back? I'm trying to clean the whole house today and I can get Matt's room and the hallway over with if you guys are out of here."

"That sounds great. Come on, Matt," Ike said, walking out of the room without looking at me.

"I'm coming! Just give me a second," I muttered as I grabbed some jeans and a t-shirt. My mom was already busy going through my dirty laundry, looking annoyed already.

When we got out there, Rachel was already sitting on one of the benches that we kept out there but never sat on. She had a book, something with a bland looking cover, and she glared at us when we opened the door, like she had been enjoying her peace and quiet among the sounds of the cars on the street.

"Hey, Ike," she said, still glaring. "What brings you here?"

"I'm waiting for Matt to tell me something." He turned me. "Did you tell her too?"

"Ike, I told you, there's nothing to tell anyone."

"Yeah, he told me."

"RACHEL."

"What? I think the lying should stop," she said, closing her book. "He's your best friend, just tell him and get it over with."

"Thank you," Ike said.

"No problem. Just tell him, Matt." Then she walked back into the house. My sister, everyone. Helpful to everyone but me.

"So?" he said, sitting down on the bench.

"So what?"

"Don't play dumb anymore, Matt, Rachel sold you out. Now tell me. I know there's something going on and I think I know what it is but I need you to tell me."

"I... I can't tell you."

"God damn it, Matt! I'm your best friend and you can't tell me? You tell Faye! You tell your sister!"

"I had to tell them! I didn't have a choice! If I had had my way no one would know and we could continue life as usual."

"What? They held a gun to your head?" he yelled. "Because you always have a choice and you chose not to tell me!"

"It's more complicated than that!"

"Then just tell me and get it over with!"

"Fine!"

Unable to sit down while I told this story, I couldn't even look at him, I started from the very beginning. From the day I went to the movie by myself because Ike didn't know. When Dan had blasted me with his powers, somehow giving me powers myself. That beginning. And I told him the whole thing, as much as I didn't want to. The whole thing was just so ridiculous, the story was ridiculous. How had I let myself get to this point? I had never wanted any of this. Did I even want it now?

Ike was silent the entire time I spoke. I half expected him to interrupt me at every turn but he was deathly quiet, like he was in class or something. And when I had finished, ending with my saving Faye (I left out how horrible of a kisser she was, that seemed unnecessary), he was still very quiet. I thought for a second that maybe everything would be okay, that now I had admitted everything he would be okay. We would be okay. But then he just blew up, like he had been holding in this anger for twenty years.

"I can't fucking believe this!"

"Ike, I'm so sorry-"

"For what? For not telling me? For not calling me as soon as you fucking knew and as soon as you almost killed poor little fucking noodle? For ignoring me for weeks and acting like I was the crazy one and acting like a complete dick? Or for working with Daring Dan and lying to your parents and STILL not telling me? Or for telling Faye first? I think you have too many things to be sorry for, Matt."

"Can you please just listen to me?"

"Oh I'm listening. I listened to that whole damn story and you have no right to say that I can't be angry."

"Of course you can be angry-"

"THEN LET ME BE ANGRY!"

I was silent.

"You're a horrible best friend, you know that? You've always been a shitty best friend but I forgave you for that. That was who we were. I was Ike, the nice one, and you were Matt, the self-absorbed one. I made my peace with that a long time ago."

"I know," I said in a small voice.

"But after all I've done for you, after all I would have done for you, you still don't tell me this very important thing. Because in the end, I don't matter to you. All that matters to you is you."

"Ike, you know that's not true."

"Do I? I thought I did but apparently I was wrong. I would have been there for you, Matt, as much as Rachel was. But you wouldn't let me."

"I couldn't."

"Why not?"

Again, I was silent. I had no good answer for that.

"That's what I thought. I know I was an asshole the other day, making fun of the heroes with Lena, who I don't even want to TALK about, but I had every reason to be an asshole. You had been ignoring me and a total dick for weeks now and I was hurt. I'm allowed that one mistake."

"You're completely right."

"You, however, you've had plenty of mistakes. You've used your mistakes up. That sucks for you."

"Ike, please, if you'd just stay and listen I can fill you in on everything. You can help me like you wanted, you can work with Rachel and I."

"It's too late for that," he said.

"Please-"

"No! It's too late, Matt. I'm done with all your shit. You're not a hero to me, you're just a stupid kid in spandex." Then he stormed past me and ran out of the yard.

Well that had gone horribly. All the stories tell you that it's going to go badly, that people will feel hurt no matter what the situation, but this seemed particularly bad. He was right, of course, he was right about fucking everything. I was a horrible friend and he had been an awesome friend and yet I had refused to tell him what was going on. I probably wouldn't have even told him today if Rachel hadn't told me too. I felt absolutely horrible and it was all my fault.