September 15th

No.

God damn it.

Why did he have to----

Why did she have to----

You fucking asshole. I hate you. I would kill you if I could.

Why am I writing in this stupid book? Doesn't matter. Nothing else matters.

No more.

Just...no.

~*~

September 22nd

It's been about a week, and I think I'm ready to write again. My last entry was probably confusing, and it's no small wonder. I was in a bad place, an angry place.

Erin's dead. She...

Okay, I may not be as put together as I thought. 

Crying now. 

~*~

September 27th

Alright, things feel a bit clearer today. Pain is still large in my guts, but it's not as blinding. I can write out what happened, and how.

On the last afternoon of her life, Erin left the kill room in tears. Most times, she walked out with her head down, or wouldn't look anyone in the eye, but she hadn't left the kill room crying since our first few weeks in captivity. I asked her what was wrong, but she didn't say. I noticed blood running down from her inner thigh.

She saw that I saw, and tried to cover it up with her skirt.

"Are you on your...period-thingy?"

My question brought on the angriest look from her I'd seen.

"No! Leave me alone."

As she had for weeks, she ignored me the rest of the afternoon. She was starting to remind me of Louise, or Mom. For hours at a time, she would rock on her knees, and stare. It was as if she were listening for somethin', and considering what happened, I'm certain now that she was.

The Man took Gabriella in the kill room with him next. When He finished, He went upstairs like always. Except that day, He neglected a vital part in the routine, and Erin heard it when no one else did.

"He forgot. He forgot," she said.

Her words tore out in a mad shriek, hurting my ears.

After her outburst, everyone was silent. They assumed she could be referring to things He had made her do only hours before, and they didn't want to know.

"Forgot what?"

Michael and Erin hadn't spoken since their last encounter. His tone was uncertain, but curious.

My sister, drunk with her delusions, didn't mind at all that Michael was speaking to her.

"He forgot to lock the door."

Everyone understood what she meant then. All eyes shifted to the door at the top of the stairs.

"He couldn't have left it open," Marc said.

"How do you know it's open?" I asked.

Erin hadn't gotten up to check the door. She hadn't left her spot on the floor for hours.

"There was no click. I listened. A few weeks ago, he forgot, but I was too scared to say anything. But today, I'm leaving. No more of that." She pointed at the kill room door. "No more."

"We all would love to leave, but how could you consider it, knowing what's Outside?" Gabriella asked.

"I don't care what's out there. I'm going."

Erin crept toward the stairs, expecting me to join her. When I didn't come, she whispered, "C'mon."

"I can't." An image of the demon came to my mind. "I'm scared."

"Damnit, get over here now!"

I didn't budge. Louise put her hand on my shoulder to let me know she was there. Louise's actions angered Erin, and she said so.

"He's not staying here. His place is with his family."

Louise lifted her chin. She was still recovering from starving herself, but right then she looked strong. "He can stay here with me. You can't force him to go out there."

"This is low. So what, I fucked your husband, but you can't stop me and my brother from leaving."

The kid part of me wanted to cover my ears, but if Louise was being strong, I would be too. I couldn't believe Erin said such ugly words to our friend.

Louise didn't touch the opening Erin had left for a petty argument.

"I won't deny that we all have to leave here." She paused. "But, we should plan, prepare, and not leave on a whim. Let's do this right, Erin."

Indecision flashed on my sister's face, but her words were final. "No, I can't."

"If he left it open once, he will again."

Louise tried to reason, but Erin was past being sensible. She was already at the top of the stairs. One ear pressed against the door, listening for Him. After a few moments, she tried the doorknob, and it turned.

I wanted to scream, "Don't go!", but I was worried it would draw attention to her escape. Maybe I should have. It could have saved her life.

The door opened without a creak, and Erin was free. She didn't even turn around for a final look at me to say goodbye.

I started to cry without a sound. I knew she wasn't going to make it. I also knew that if she did, it meant I would never see her again. She was abandoning me.

Mommy. Daddy. Erin.

I cried, quietly.

After she stepped into the hallway, I lost sight of her. The silence was thick, until I heard feet running, sliding; there were grunts and screams.

I buried my face in Louise's chest.

Finally, the Man came down the stairs, with Erin behind Him. He had her by her hair. My sister was crying like I was. She had a bloody knot on the side of her head.

In his free hand, The Man held a large knife. Once I saw that, I lost my pride and fear.

"Leave her alone! Please! Don't hurt her!"

In an odd instant, He appeared moved by my request. He stood at the bottom of the stairs with Erin straining against his hand. To me, He looked almost...human.

That passed, and He made a quick decision. He slit Erin's throat. The blade slashed through her neck, as fast as a pen stroke and just as final. Blood sprayed in a warm arc, hitting me, Louise, and Michael.

The Man screamed, "This is the price. Leave, and this is the fucking price! Trust me, this death was better than the one waiting for her Outside. Did the cunt a fucking favor." He dropped her, spitting on her corpse.

I just...can't write anymore today.

~*~