TW: Guns and kidnapping

"How is Joan?" Talyn asked as they pulled the campervan into the Walmart parking lot.

Virgil looked up. "They're working on it. They won't have my blood out of their system, though, until they bleed it out or, uh... it comes out in another way..."

"You mean they'll have to poop it out?" Thomas asked, unsure whether to look amused or disgusted.

"Y-Yeah, they would."

Patton put a hand on Virgil's' shoulder and smiled comfortingly at him. Virgil smiled back, looking grateful. Next to Virgil, Joan grinned at the immortal cousins, wrapping them both up in a big bear hug. Roman bit his cheek and turned back to stare out of the window.

Joan was rarely seen without Virgil now, due to the fact they'd randomly spew out flowers and Virgil was the only one who could do something about it. Whenever they went out in public, Virgil would have to hold their hand or be in skin contact just to stop the mortal from sprouting a bush in their hair. There had been a small incident where Joan had accidentally fallen into a bush and the whole sidewalk was covered in ivy because they freaked out.

Logan had found it quite interesting and he had soon started asking Virgil about all he could do. Obviously, Virgil hated it but it was hard to stop Logan when there was something he wanted to know. Hades's' son had often found himself stuck next to Logan in the camper-van and then the tall god would start a conversation that quickly blossomed into an interview. Eventually, Virgil stopped caring and he just answered in short answers that left more questions than answers. Such as that time Logan had asked Virgil if he could revive a dead plant and Virgil just turned to Joan, plucked a large allium that had been growing from the mortal's' elbow and lay it on the table. It withered and crinkled like a dead life then suddenly burst back to life. Virgil had stuck the flower behind Patton's' ear and ignored any questions Logan asked for the rest of the night.

Yeah, Virgil could be infuriating a lot of times.

And, today, they were going to Walmart. Thomas had announced that they had run out of dishwasher tablets and, despite Virgil's' promises that he could steal some, the mortals were desperate for social interaction because they hadn't interacted with anyone apart from that one police lady who stopped their van to run a check before they crossed the border into Georgia. It was almost like they were all on lockdown and couldn't talk to anyone other than those they lived with.

Thomas hopped out of his seat the moment the vehicle was parked and swung open the door. Joan took Virgil's' arm and the two left first, Virgil flinching in the light. Roman came out behind them. Curiously, Logan helped Patton down but didn't assist either Thomas or Talyn as they jumped down themselves. Yeah, Logan was being pretty obvious.

Walmart was surprisingly crowded. In fact, the gaggle of gods and their friends struggled to enter with the charge of traffic coming in and out.

Joan, holding Virgil's' wrist, turned to the others when they finally pushed their way inside. "I think we should all split up. Cover more ground, and we'll be in and out quicker."

"You don't know where the dishwasher tablets are in one of your own earthling stores?" Frowned Logan.

"Look, none of us have been to Georgia, okay?" Huffed Talyn, crossing their arms. "Why don't you ask the Book?"

"Because this area is too crowded, obviously. If someone were to see..." Logan trailed off, allowing the thoughts to wander in the other's' heads.

Virgil paled briefly and then shook his head. "Let's just find this stuff. Thomas and Talyn, Logan and Patton, you guys will have to be pairs, then I'll go with Joan for obvious reasons-"

"What about me?" Frowned Roman. "Who do I go with?"

Patton straightened up with a beam. "Well, Thomas and Talyn, of course! We don't know if those weird men from the beach could be here. Anyway, they'll be the only group without godly protection, so it makes sense, right?"

Roman looked hesitant, shooting a glance to Virgil and Joan, but nodded. "Yeah, that makes sense. Who goes way?"

"Joan and Vee take aisles 1-4, Pat and Lo take 5-8, then we'll take 9-12," Thomas replied, pointing to the aisles in turn. "Everyone good with that?"

"What do we do if one of those men show up?" Virgil asked nervously. "I don't have any peaceful methods of stopping them if they try anything..."

They stood in silence for a bit. Then Thomas said, "Run. Just run screaming."

"My anxiety says no to that."

"Well, let your anxiety do a Hamilton and do it anyway."

The four gods tilted their heads and Talyn pulled back. "Oh my god, you don't know about Hamilton."

Virgil blinked at them. "Uh, I do. He's a really smart man and can be pretty fun, but it's awkward when Maria shows up sometimes, especially since Elizabeth tags along with Alexander most of the time-"

"Woah, woah, wait!" Gasped Joan. "You've met Alexander Hamilton?!"

"Well, duh?" Virgil scoffed. "He's dead, y'know. I've also met George Washington, Henry the Eighth, his six wives, a couple of witches, Julius Ceaser is a pretty cool guy, but he often starts randomly bleeding, Queen Victoria, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela and some... less brilliant people."

Thomas started to burst out in laughter at Joan's' stunned and surprised face, soon joined by Talyn who was definitely amused by their friends' perplexion.

Logan frowned. "I am not familiar with any of these mortals, are they important at all?"

"I can introduce you guys when we get home," Virgil shrugged in response. Then he turned to Joan. "You can ask questions on the way around the store, if you want. Let's go!" And the scrawny god pulled the non-binary mortal along behind him, heading to the aisles Thomas had pointed out.

Logan turned to look at Patton. "Would you also like to start this search?"

Patton beamed at him and then gasped with an awe-struck expression. "It could be like a treasure hunt!" He whispered.

The intellectual couldn't contain a snort as Patton tugged at his arm, dragging him gleefully to their designated area. The pair vanished quickly into aisle 5, and Roman grinned. "Those two are both so obviously pining."

"I agree," Sniffed Talyn. "And their gayness fuels me."

"Could be gayer," Mumbled Thomas.

.:*:.

Agent Ghost groaned, refraining himself from slamming his head repetitively into the dashboard as his chatty assistant rambled on. Jesus Christ, he was more of a nuisance than help. A persistent, petulant, pathetic irritant who he didn't need to try to help him with this job. He pinched the bridge of his nose and bit the inside of his cheek while he controlled his frustration.

"Look, kid, I don't even know your name-"

"Oh, it's Jack Pierce."

"Okay, look, Pierce, we're not friends. We're not colleagues, we're not peers, we're not partners, we're not allies, we're not a squad, we're not a clique, we're not a gang, we're not a duo, we're not buddies, we're not pals, we're not anything. I'm the boss, you're the annoying little guy who never remembers how to make my tea."

Jack bowed his head slightly, but muttered, "Nice metaphor..."

Agent Ghost's' scowl darkened further. "We don't joke around, we don't hang out, we don't enjoy each other's' company. I work and you tag along. Got it?"

"Yes, sir."

The man leaned back smugly. "Good. Now, let's try again with you being utterly silent-" He cut off and his eyes narrowed. "Why are we at Walmart?"

Jack sat up peppily and Agent Ghost was reminded of how much he hated the other's' optimism. "Oh, I wanted to buy a bottle of water."

There was suffocating silence, pray for Jack's' jolly whistling, as the assistant went to park the van.

Agent Ghost stared at him, jaw opening and closing dumbly like a fish. This- This kid was putting off their job to buy some water. This inexperienced boy was ignoring the lecture and was happily parking and ready to run around in an overrated store. This imbecile was about to go charging into a busy Walmart in Georgia, where they could be recognised by people who had seen the YouTube video of them, where there will be security footage of them, which their bosses had told them to avoid, where the freaks could be- wait. Those freaks had been running around in a red campervan. A large, custom one. One with big storage space beneath it, one with a sliding door and one with a curious interior that you could just make out from the slightly shaded windscreen.

More precisely, that one.

"Jack," Agent Ghost said slowly, a victorious smirk twisting its' way onto his face. "Let's make that two water bottles."

.:*:.

Everything is just about perspective. It always depends on what you see, who you see, what you know and what you've heard. And the biggest factor if who you are. A twelve-year-old may look at someone who's fifteen and think they're so old when there's only a three year age gap. A girl could look at a boy and think that he's stupid and dumb and the boy could look at the girl and think she's dumb and stupid. Then again, they could think something completely different based on how they look at the world. No one thinks about everything.

For example, the most that Joan is thinking about at the moment is if Virgil can introduce them to David Bowie or Freddy Mercury. Joan isn't scared about what people are thinking about them or scared about the two agents who have just walked into the store, simply because they don't know.

But, at the same time, Virgil can hear the dead whispering in panicked tones, fretting about him. He can hear the freshly arrived asking where they are and he can hear the older ones telling them not to bother him right now because he'll have bigger problems soon. Virgil doesn't know, however, what it is he'll be struggling against later.

And then, in just a few aisles along, Logan only has eyes and ears for Patton because the freckled god is holding his hand as he points to an odd collection of jellies that actually look quite nice. They're labelled under the brand name of Crofters, and Logan makes a mental note to try it later. Patton has two very different thoughts on his mind. Logan's' hand in his and Olympus. He's homesick, he wants to hug his father, and he wants to apologise to all the friends he had left behind. Neither of them knows about the agents, Logan doesn't think to check the Book.

Talyn is internally rejoicing that they found the dishwasher tablets and their thinking of how to shove it into Thomas's' and Roman's' face that they found it before the other two. And now they're cursing because they've found the wrong brand and they'll have to start looking all over again. Thomas is wondering if the ghost of Alexander Hamilton knows about the musical and, honestly, he's completely forgotten what he's in Walmart for. Roman is annoyed that Joan gets to spend so much time with Virgil, while Roman's been pushed away from the darker god ever since they reached Georgia.

Meanwhile, Agent Ghost is only focusing on the gods, but he doesn't know they're gods, he thinks they are aliens because he's encountered aliens, not gods. Jack is thinking about Hershey's' because he saw a two-for-one bargain for some Malteasers and Hershey's' is his favourite chocolate brand. Jack is a simple man. Also, there's a picture of an ugly looking octopus on a magazine and he's getting flashbacks about his ex-wife.

Everything is just about perspective. It always depends on what you see, who you see, what you know and what you've heard. For example, no one saw what was coming next.

So let's get into it, shall we?

.:*:.

Virgil stopped dead still and he turned slowly around, his black eyes scouring over aisle 3 and the people who all stood behind him.

"Uh, Vee you good?" Asked Joan.

"I feel like someone's watching me..." Mumbled Virgil, narrowing his eyes as he glared about. "I swear, someone's watching me.

Joan felt the hair on their neck prickle and they struggled to contain the threats of blossoming big daisies along their arms. Usually, Virgil was rather calm, even if constantly anxious. But now, the god was staring around a Walmart aisle with children, mothers, fathers, couples, friends and just people doing their daily shop, breathing heavily as he began to shake. Who on earth could Virgil be looking for?

Then Joan felt it too. Eyes, staring firmly at them from somewhere. They were boring into them, making their skin ripple with goosebumps and they tightened their grip on Virgil's' wrist.

"I feel it too..." He murmured, suddenly watching everyone suspiciously. Now, whenever a child turned to face their parents, Joan was prepared to punch it in the face, any young couple that walked past them was a threat, a danger, someone to fear. It was unnerving and Joan's' anxiety was gripping at their heart, pumping out adrenaline. "Can we go back to the campervan and wait for the others?"

Virgil swallowed as he began to lead Joan out of the aisle. "Sounds great..."

That was when it happened. Out of nowhere, the large man from the beach appeared, still dressed in a tight suit and Virgil panicked with a soundless screech. He let go of Joan to hug his arms in fear and Joan instantly bloomed into a walking thorn bush, peppered with daisies. The man froze for a moment wide-eyed as he looked at Joan and then he shook himself back to reality. People were either running out of the aisle screaming or watching in awe, pulling out cameras and phones.

All the noise finally burst Logan and Patton's' bubble and the two stopped walking.

"Logan?" Asked Patton. "The Book?"

"Already on it," Logan replied, whipping the Book from the bag and letting it flick open to a random page, the answer appearing. "It's from aisle 3, which is currently where Virgil and Joan are. Joan's erupted into thorns, Virgil is something, I can't read it, and they're in a standoff with the two men from the beach."

Patton swallowed and bit his lip. "We need to get Roman, he'll be strong enough to help."

Logan looked hurt at not being considered help enough but he understood. He and his mother weren't exactly the best in a fight. Patton quickly began to sprint his way to the aisle occupated by Talyn, Thomas and Roman, dragging Logan behind him. When they ran straight into Thomas, the two were breathless and Logan was panting slightly, as he hadn't managed to keep up his physical health since he'd been stuck in a campervan for days, whereas Patton's' adrenaline fed his energy.

"We... Need... Roman..." Breathed Logan as Patton buzzed with electricity.

Thomas blinked slowly. "Okay, are you okay?"

Zeus's' son fizzed slightly and he grabbed Thomas by the shoulders, ignoring the mortal's' yelp as his hair stood on end. " Virgil and Joan are gonna get hurt! All that screaming, it's because the men from the beach are here and we need Roman to help them!"

"Wh-What-? I- Okay, okay, sure, Roman is with Talyn right now, I'll call them." Thomas had come a long way from where he used to be. If he was thrown in this scenario several days ago, he wouldn't have been able to move, he'd be petrified, he'd be panicking. But, now, he had a plan, he was carrying through the plan and he was completely improvising as he quickly told the issue to Talyn.

So, in aisle 11, Talyn rounded onto Roman the moment Thomas hung up. "We need to get to aisle three, now!" They barked and Roman nodded. The beautiful god hadn't heard the conversation but he had seen Talyn's' face and knew it wouldn't be good. "It's Joan and Virgil, the men from the beach have found them."

That was when Roman's' heart pace quickened. They all knew Virgil wasn't the calmest and he could easily be panicking right now and Roman hated the idea of the poor, dark god feeling unsafe and scared in this unfamiliar, new mortal Earth. Besides, if Virgil panicked, what could happen? Also, Joan was definitely not experienced enough for a problem like this. Not at all.

Talyn and Roman were running desperately to the aisle when they heard a bang and a dozen more screams. Metal things were dropped onto the ground and people surged from the Walmart. It took everything in Talyn not to follow their instinct to run and hide, to be swept up in the roaring crowds and get to safety. The faint smell of gunpowder was in the air and Virgil was shrieking with terror.

They heard someone yell out angrily and then the two managed to merge in beside Thomas, Logan and Patton. Thomas looked ready to cry, Logan was holding back a flood of fear and Patton was crackling loudly, his hair on end and every light bulb near him that illuminated the shelves burned brightly and then burst, fizzling out.

"Tell me that wasn't a gun," Begged Talyn breathlessly. Thomas shook his head in an exhausted reply.

They scrambled into aisle 3 to see Joan, coated in brambles and white flowers, coming up from the ground slowly. There was a pool of crimson blood on the floor and it was dripping from the non-binary's' neck. They turned to stare, stunned at the smaller, skinny man from the beach, the one who seemed more like he tagged along than anything else. "You just shot me..." They said, stunned.

"You're getting back up..." He whispered, voice cracking.

"Virgil!" Roman yelled, running up the aisle, ignorant of the two men from the beach as he threw his arms around the shaking god. "Joan! We go, now!" Virgil leaned deeper into him, staring at the two men with ragged breathing.

Joan continued to stare. "You shot me..."

"You were about to hurt my boss!" Cried the skinny one. "You're getting back up!"

The large one took a step forwards to examine Joan. "Incredible. You all must come with us-"

"No!" Patton yelled from Logan's' hold. The intellectual seemed to ignore the fact his hair was standing on end as he clung tightly to Patton, holding Zeus's' son back. "No! We won't! We don't know who you are, we don't want to go with you, we just wanna go home!"

"So you are aliens?" The big one grinned. "Is Earth not your home? We can get you back, you just have to come with us-"

"You just shot me!" Screeched Joan, finding their voice. "You just shot me in the neck!"

Roman manoeuvred his way in front of Virgil, protecting the scrawny god with his body as he glared down the two men. "I swear, you will run now or I'll beat your ass to Hades!"

The large man grinned. "What a curious phrase, maybe you've been here in the past! It makes sense that you'd have different lifespans. Look, we mean you no harm-"

Roman continued to stand defensively in front of Virgil but he took a step forwards and slugged the skinny one in the face. He cried out and fell to the ground with a sickening crunch and the big one tensed. Then he reached into his jacket and dipped his hand into a large, awkward pocket. He pulled out a large, large gun.

"AK-47, AK-47!" Thomas began to scream, panicky as he hopped from foot to foot, desperate to run.

"You have just attacked an agent of the US government, an illegal act." Snarled the big man. "I will take you in peacefully, or resort to force."

Roman just cracked his knuckles. This infuriated the man and he snapped off the lock and fired a warning bullet at Roman's' feet. That's when Virgil materialised behind the man, holding a cereal box: he slammed it on the man's' head and the guy spun around to him but the god was already darting away. Virgil grabbed Joan's' wrist, dragging them away and sucking in the brambles and daisies. Roman spun on his heel, following, and he screamed. "Back to the vehicle!" He cried.

The man had regained his senses quickly and he chased after them. They surged from the Walmart doors, pushing past police officers, who'd obviously been called to stop whatever had been going on in there. The gods and their friends bobbed and weaved away from the police, who reached out to grab them. Roman managed to flash a few smiles, making some officers fall back and anyone who touched Patton would start to jerk violently with the electric charge. The man only had to flash a badge to be allowed to pass.

Then, Thomas was clumsy. 

He tripped.

He fucking tripped.

That one stumble made him fall behind his friends and, despite Roman's' efforts, no one managed to grab him. Well, someone did. A police officer quickly snatched his wrist and yanked him back, straight into the waiting clutches of the large man.

"Thomas!" Bellowed Talyn and Joan, ready to turn on their heel.

"We can't!" Logan insisted, grabbing the mortals. He gave Thomas an apologetic glance and Thomas swallowed.

"Run!" He yelled to his friends, struggling in the arms of the police. "Get outta here!"

Joan hesitated but Talyn reluctantly nodded and snatched Joan's' arm, yanking them along. The six of them ran through the parking lot, past people who'd been waiting to see everything go down and to the red campervan. Talyn unlocked it, throwing open the door as they swung themselves inside and Joan jumped into the passenger seat, starting up the campervan already.

Logan helped Patton up and Roman scrambled in. Something, most likely a ghost, picked up Virgil and hurled him in, the dark god, landing on Roman's' arms. Talyn rushed to the driver's' seat as Logan flung the door shut.

"We're going, we're going, sit down, buckle in, do something!" They snapped loudly, kicking the vehicle into reverse. They swung the car from their parking slot and quickly began to hurtle out of Walmart's' parking lot. Police officers were still trying to get a hold on Thomas and it was obvious that Virgil had sent some form of ghosts after them because they'd be constantly fighting against coloured, plumes of steam. A few managed to see the car speed away and they began to abandon their current problems to get to their cars but spirits stopped them or Thomas would lash out.

Meanwhile, while merging slowly into suburban traffic, Talyn, Joan, Virgil, Logan, Patton and Roman were silent. 

Then Patton croaked, "We've lost him..."

Logan wrapped his arms around him. "We'll get him back, Pat, I swear..."

Virgil stood from where he'd been curled on the floor. His eyes were white and a ghost lifted him up to his trapdoor, letting Virgil crawl into his bed, slamming the door shut behind him. Roman looked like he wanted to call after him but he changed his mind. He sighed softly and turned back to the room behind the row of seats, climbing over them and they all heard him flop onto one of the beds. Joan's' arms were a burst of forget-me-nots and they hid their face in their knees.

Talyn swallowed. "We didn't sign up for this," They said, stealing a glance at Logan and Patton in the rearview mirror.

"None of us did..." Mumbled Logan.