8. Friendship, flirting & finding the balance
After her outburst on the phone with her mother, Surabhi tried to maintain a regular schedule calling her. Neeta too reduced her calls to Surabhi. She thought Surabhi needed some time to deal with things and to settle down in a new place.
Although Surabhi called her parents, it was more like a chore for her to report her day to day life to her parents. But talking to Shilpa was out of love. She was her closest friend and they were aware of everything happening in each others lives even though they did not talk to each other everyday.
Surabhi was excited that Dhruv would be visiting soon. She shared her excitement with Shilpa. But before his visit she had some crucial project implementations during the month end. Surabhi was working late as was her usual routine during month ends.
Megha began packing up and asked her, "How are you going home? Did you book a cab?"
"No, Neel will drop me home," she replied casually as it had become a norm for her.
"Poor Neel. Vijay makes him drop any girl who stays within 5 miles radius of his home during month ends," Megha said sweeping away all the enthusiasm Surabhi had shown mentioning Neel.
"Oh! Is that so?" Surabhi hoped Megha would understand that this felt different. "Every time after he drops me, he waits in his car until I am safely inside my apartment complex. He does not know that I have seen him waiting."
"Neel is a very responsible and a caring person. I am sure he must have waited outside for each one of them to be safe inside their home as well," Megha replied without noticing she had crushed her friends hopes.
She waved a tired goodbye and left.
Surabhi continued working but a few seconds later she stopped. She was staring at her screen blankly. She felt uneasy. What was that feeling? Jealousy? Why would she be jealous? Neel was a colleague and had grown to be a friend. She did not expect anything more from him. She did not even know if he was in relationship with anyone. It was unfair of her to expect that she was the only girl with whom he laughed and talked. This was a monstrous side of her nature lifting its ugly head which she never knew existed. On one hand she was excited about Dhruv's impending visit too. But was uncomfortable with his flirtatious approach. The thought that she had encouraged him also made her uneasy.
While Dhruv had expressed his interest in her, was she looking for love? Neel on the other hand was a friend she could depend on. She was comfortable with Neel as a warm friendly hand was all she wanted at that stage. She realised that was the reason she felt a tinge of jealousy about sharing Neel's presence with someone else. Since Neel was only a friend she decided to cast aside jealousy. He has helped her going out of his way during dance and he would continue to do so as a friend she consoled herself and continued her work.
But her mind wandered back to Dhruv. While she was encouraging Dhruv, why was she thinking about Neel. She absentmindedly shook her head. She had no clue what she was doing. Stretching her neck to a side and cracking her knuckles she arrived at a decision. Maintaining professional relation or at the most friendship with Dhruv would be a good idea at this point she deduced. She didn't want to end up with a wrong person and didn't want to get hurt again.
She then continued to work in peace. After an hour she sent her final submissions and packed up. Walking over to Neel's desk and said, "Are you ready to leave?"
Neel looked up at her stunned.
She thought he was not ready to leave so she said, "I can wait for you to finish up."
"Surabhi, I'm so sorry! I did not get my car today as I had to go someplace else after work with a friend," he said apologetically.
"Oh...Okay then. I'll leave," Surabhi said as she left hastily.
She got out of the office building and crossed the street to hail an auto going in the direction of her house. She walked hastily trying to get away from office as fast as she could. Standing on the footpath, she waved at a few passing autos but none stopped. She tried to check for cabs but her mind was wandering off. She was sad. She began walking away, hoping to get an auto or hail a cab a little further at the intersection.
Why did I assume that Neel would always be there to drop me? He has a life beyond me. I should not have taken him for granted, she thought.
Her thoughts saddened her. She heard another auto approaching from behind so she waved at it to stop, but the auto driver just shook his head and drove away. Disappointed, she began walking again when a car stopped near her.
"Surabhi!" she heard Neel's voice drowning in the passing traffic.
She thought she was hallucinating and hence ignored it when she heard her name being called out again. She turned around and saw Neel bring a car to a stop near her. She bent over from the passenger window and saw Neel leaning towards her.
"Please get in and let me drop you," he said.
"No. You have to get to your prior engagement so please carry on. I will take an auto," she said firmly.
"Please..... I cant stop here in this traffic for long. Please get in," he pleaded.
Surabhi looked around and saw a traffic policeman walking towards them waving his hands asking them to move on. She quickly opened the door and got in.
They drove for a few minutes with not one of them saying a word. Finally Neel spoke, "I'm sorry. I know that you are angry. I should have informed you that I would not be able to drive you home tonight."
"I'm not angry," she replied without looking at him.
"I'm really sorry," he said with all sincerity.
"Please... I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at myself. I shouldn't have assumed that you would always drop me."
"No, you had the right to assume. I had offered to always drop you during month end. I would love to drop you off everyday but I have to pick up Nikita from her class other than on month ends...." he tried giving an explanation but Surabhi interrupted,"I took you for granted. Vijay had asked you to drop me only during 1st month end and you have already done more than he asked for. I just assumed.....which I should not have done. Vijay puts you up for this task with all the girls.... had I known this fact sooner I would not pile on. You are taking enough trouble already." She tried to hide her anger and unexplained jealousy.
By this time it began to rain heavily, they had reached a signal and the streets were so crowded that it seemed they would be stuck in the traffic for a long time. Neel applied the hand break, put the car in neutral gear and turned to face Surabhi. She was still looking away from him.
"What? Who told you that?"
"What? Who told me what?" She finally turned to look at him, unsure of what he was asking.
"About me dropping every girl in the office?"
There was silence for a few seconds.
"I think we are going to be stuck here for a long time. So, we better talk or its going to be a very boring drive," he said trying to humor her.
Surabhi hesitated. In her rage she had revealed something that she did not want to. She had already resolved her thoughts regarding what she wanted from Neel. All she wanted was his friendly support. Now if he misunderstood her, would this drive him away she thought. Finally she explained, "Megha mentioned today. But, all I meant to say was that if I knew you were forced into this task whenever someone stays close to your place, it is difficult for you. I should'nt have assumed that as long as we are in the same office you would always drive me home on month ends." She expressed her thoughts as clearly as she could.
Neel took in a deep breath. "What Megha told you is partially correct. Vijay made me drive 2 other girls, they are ex colleagues now, earlier. Since my parents passed away, he has been like a guardian angel to me. He guides me whenever required but he takes his role too seriously I guess," Neel said with a smile and continued,"He wants me to get married soon. So, he tried to fix me with anyone he deemed suitable. In both the previous cases his intention was to set me up with them. But while I dropped them home only once and did not show any interest in doing so later, Vijay gave up."
"I did notice a slight irritation or disappointment when Vijay asked you to drop me. So was that the reason?"
"Yes, I thought he was trying to set us up and I was tired with work and that was the reason you may have seen disappointment cross my face. But in your case, I don't think he intended to set us up. He did it out of concern,"
"How do you know that?" Surabhi asked out of interest.
"He has given up on me. And also every time he had asked me how the the drive went. But with you he did not do that and has forgotten all about asking me to drive you home. I have never revealed to him that I take you home ever since, every month end or he will start imagining us getting married," Neel said with a big smile. "I enjoy your company. You are a simple person not a pretentious makeup laden girls that I have met. Hence, I offered to drive you home every-time. So... you have every right to take your ride for granted. And I am extremely sorry to have not informed about my plans today."
"Alright," she said with a smile. "But where did you get this car? And what about your plans for tonight?"
"This is Vijay's car. I told him I needed it. He has a spare office car with chauffeur at his disposal so he wont mind. And my plans got canceled."
Surabhi could sense it was a lie and that he must have put his plans on hold for her but did not want to divulge any further since she knew this was his way of apologizing.
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