So I self harmed 5 days ago and my birthday was on oct 27th so like I'm 14 now and I'm closer to being able to pay taxes ;(

Here is the fucking story of what I did

So I woke up that day (When I did the slice slice e.e) like a little late to school and my mom and sister were about to head out the door but my sister kept being a little shit and then I start screaming at her because I'm being pissed off at her because I need to head to my bus but then I also need to get ready and take my meds and feed my catsAnd then my mom starts yelling at me because I'm yelling at my sister and then we both get really pissy so she slams the door but my sister walks out as well and then she slams the doorAnd then after that I'm rlly pissed and overwhelmed with anger because situations like that make me super pissed off so I quickly feed my cats take my meds and get dressed and ready and soon as I head out the door my bus goes pass my house so I'm even more pissed off so I call my mom and she's like I can just take you to school and I'm like no because I'm gonna be forced to sit in the cafeteria and that will make me have really bad anxiety and I'll have an anxiety attack because I'll be forced to sit by complete strangers I don't know and I cannot do that so then my mom is like fine just stay home and that makes me even more mad because she has just given up on me but she's on her way to work and is already late but she's late everyday due to my assy sisterSo then I just head inside and slam the door and lock it but I cannot unleash my anger on anything else and I cannot stop thinking about cutting so then I just get some hair scissors and just cut my arm awayThen after that I call my mom and tell her and she's like whAT thE hEllAnd then even more problems occur and then after that my brother finds out and so does my dad and then I just stay home playing my laptop and my brother watching me in the livingroomyepthat's the story

What you can tell from that is I never think before I do shit and I've basically have given up on myself, I haven't cut in 5 days so that's good 

It's a bit addicting which fucks me up as well and my parents are looking for more help to get me a really good therapist and It's just complicated but we all are trying.