Darkness surrounded me, engulfed my mind fully and I craved the numbing solitude. I basked in the unconscious; in the unknowing for as long as I could. That was until the voices going back and forth outside of my bedroom door became louder and louder, a mixture of anger and pleas stirred me from my thoughtless, dreamless slumber.

"Let me see her!"

"No!"

I forced my legs to move across the soft warmth of the sheets of my bed until my feel came in contact with the familiar coarseness of my carpet.

A shot of pain struck in the center of my forehead causing me to wince and bring my hands to my head, holding it in place and putting as much pressure on it as my weak muscles could muster.

As tradition seemed to hold true, I should have anticipated the headache. I always got one after I cried for long periods of time and this headache in particular was going to be a bitch.

"You don't know us. You don't know Alex and I's relationship and you have no right to keep me from seeing her! I need to explain!"

"Explain what? How about you explain it to me first? How about you try and put into simple terms why my best friend came home a sobbing mess, crying harder than I have ever seen her cry. So hard in fact that she passed out from the volume of the panic attack and still said your goddamn name before she blacked out? Huh?"

The haze around my brain was starting to lift as I recognized Rachel's voice to as the angrier of the two.

I wobbled off of my bed and trudged over a pile of clothes as I made my way over to my door.

"She passed out?" I heard the other voice ask and my feet stilled at the sound.

He was here.

The man who I fell in love with. The man who just days ago I gave my body over to fully. The man who just hours ago had his lips interlocked with another.

I stumbled my way back over to my phone to check the time, snatching it off of my bedside table.

12:36 am.

Why was he here so late? Was Silvia not available for round two?

"Yes, she passed out because of you. I don't know what you did because when she woke up she went directly to bed but I know that it had to have been bad enough for her to never want to see you again. I know my best friend better than some guy that just swooped in a few months ago and fucked her over, thank you very much. Her professor not to mention," Rachel spat at Nathan with malice dripping from her every word.

"I didn't fuck her over, I just fucked up! Let me see her!"

"Didn't you hear me the first time? No!"

Okay, this is getting out of hand. I walked the path across my floor once more until I reached my door, my eyes adjusting to the darkness quickly.

"Rachel, please, just-"

All conversation was ceased the second they heard the creak of the door opening and I walked out into the hallway. Rachel was in front of my door, blocking the way for Nathan to get in and for that I was both grateful and equally disheartened that she even needed to block the path in the first place; that Nathan and I ever steered so far from the sickeningly happy road we were on.

"Oh, great. Now you woke her," Rachel mumbled as I approached her Pajama clad frame. Her long blonde hair was tossed up into a messy bun and her eyes were tired, her face flaming red with rage and her eyes gleaming with protection.

She spun around to meet me with a sad smile which I didn't even attempt to mirror.

"Hey, you can go back to bed. He was just leaving."

"Not from the sounds of it," I said in a quiet, mangled voice that was exhausted from the intense sob session earlier.

Her blue eyes flashed in annoyance as she stole a quick glance at Nathan, whom I still hadn't churned up the courage to look at yet.

"He's just being a bit difficult. He'll-"

"I'll talk to him." I cut Rachel's sentence off, watching as her eyes doubled in size at my statement.

"The sooner I talk to him, the sooner he leaves."

At that, I heard a deep sigh come from Nathans direction but nothing more.

It took Rachel a good while to finally buckle and walk towards her bedroom door with the promise that she was only a hallways length away if I needed her for anything.

With her presence gone, the tension in the room multiplied and the air surrounding us almost became difficult to inhale it was so thick.

I stood in the corner of the hallway with my arms curled around myself, holding the last bits of myself together. My gaze was cast down at the floor but that didn't stop me from catching the movement out of the corner of my eye as his figure tried to move closer to mine.

"Alex-"

"Don't."

At my request, his feet stopped all motion. We stayed in complete silence for an obscene amount of time. All that passed through my mind was the thought of how badly I wanted to get this over with and crawl back into bed to nurse my broken heart.

"Alex, please," his voice begged softly. "You have to believe me, I don't know remember exactly what you saw but I know it was bad whatever it was..."

"Yeah, be sure to tell Silvia hello for me when you go home," I sneered at him, my lips curling up in disgust.

Nathan ran his hands up into his disheveled hair and drew them down his face and he groaned in protest. "No. God, no she's not waiting for me at my house. The second I came to, I threw her out of the classroom and told her to fuck off."

"Oh, please," I scoffed and moved to walk past him and into the living room.

"It's the truth!" Nathan swiveled around to face me with desperation clear in those sapphire eyes that I had come to love so endlessly.

"You know what I think is the truth?!" I snapped at him, the fire burning inside of my stomach exploding angrily as I spewed my hurt filled words at him. "You know what I think happened? I think that this was your plan all along. How fucking convenient for you that just days after you get your student to give it up in bed, you're back with your whore of an ex-girlfriend? Huh?"

"I'm not back with her!"

"Ben was right," I said as I shook my head at him. "All you ever wanted to do was fuck me. You just wanted to weasel your way into my head just to fuck with my emotions so I would give it up to you. Well congratulations! You won! You fucked a student; you can now cross that off your bucket list!"

My emotions were running wild as I tried my damnedest to rein in every serious, depressing emotion and keep on with the tunnel of hatred I was throwing at him.

"Dammit, Alex, you were never a bucket list item! Or else why would I have fought us for so long? Why wouldn't I have just taken you when I could have?" He looked at me with wide eyes, begging me to understand.

"Well what's the fun in that?" I asked with a gross amount of bitter sarcasm.

"Alex, stop!" Nathan demanded, his voice exhausted and vulnerable. He took a step towards me, his stare glued to my angry one. With each step that he took, I took another one back until I ran into the damned couch and almost fell backwards from the impact.

Nathan used my entrapment to block any exits I could possibly use and forced his hands around my waist, bringing in our bodies tightly up against each other's.

My body, mind, and heart were all at war with each other over the current physical predicament. My body, as always, yearned for his to be closer or pressed firmer or wrapped completely around mine in a sweet, passionate embrace. My mind was screaming, screeching for my hands to react and push him as far away from me as possible.

And my heart.

My heart was the worst of all. It cried out for him, pleading and longing for Nathan and yet it crumbled simultaneously with his very touch.

I was breaking, imploding within myself but willed my eyes to stay hard as ice, neglecting Nathan the pleasure of watching me fall.

"Don't push me away, Alex and please don't look at me like that. I know what's going through your head. I know you, Alex..." His fingers squeezed at my waist as they traveled up the length of my torso gently.

"I know this body. I've loved and worshiped this body." His fingers trailed up my neck until his thumb brushed across my bottom lip.

"I know these lips. I've kissed these lips hundreds of times and I know their every touch, their every movement and I haven't even begun to tire of them," he mumbled as he drew his face in closer to mine.

My breathing was becoming erratic as his hand came down to cover over my pounding heart.

"And I know this heart. I know how kind and how loving it is. I know that with every beat of it," he reached his other hand down to grip mine and drew it up to place it over his chest, where his own heart was drumming harder and harder. "Mine beats just the same for yours."

"I know you feel it, Alex. I know that you know me better than anyone ever had bothered to know me before and I would go as far to say that the same goes for you. I know you, Alex and I know you're putting up a wall right now. You're closing me out. I need to know what's going on behind those beautiful eyes of yours."

His eyes bored into mine and I could feel myself waning until one thought stuck out in particular.

"You wanna know what's going on in my head?" I asked in a light tone.

"Yes, please. Let me in," he crooned as his grip on my hand tightened.

"What's going on in my head is the instant replay of you groping Silvia and her trying to eat your face off. That's what's going on in my head."

Nathan audibly sighed with my remark.

"Alex, I don't even remember that happening and you'll never know how sorry I am that you walked in on that. I can't even imagine what you must have felt in that moment," he trailed off with what I assumed he was trying to pull off as sympathy laced through his words.

"Thank you for that friendly reminder that needed to be brought up," I said referring to his lapse of memory.

"Why would you ever go back to drugs, Nathan?" I asked with the greatest amount of true emotion other than rage tinted into my tone.

"I haven't! I told you I was done with that and I meant it."

"Then why the fuck can't you remember anything? Am I just supposed to assume that a concussion came out of nowhere and hit you on the head and that's why you can't remember?" I inquired with a burning fire pushing my questions.

"No!"

"Then what?!"

"I think," he cut himself off with a quick release of air through nostrils and calmed himself down slightly before continuing. "I think Silvia drugged me."

I couldn't help the slight drop of my jaw at his statement. My eyes searched his face for any signs of joking and disbelief began to swarm in my mind as I came up empty handed.

"You're serious?"

"Yes. And I know it's difficult to believe but-"

"Difficult doesn't even begin to describe it," I said with a slow shake of my head as I tried to pry myself away from the lying, deceiving bastard.

"Alex, it's the only explanation!" His hands tightened on my waist as I began to struggle harder, my fingers clawing at his trying to force him to release me from his vice like grip.

"Please stop trying to push me away, Alex. It fucking hurts me when you do that!" His voice rose with emotion, his eyes shining with presumed pain.

"Well you know what hurts me, Nathan?" I asked suddenly, every feeling of heartbreak and betrayal welling to the surface threatening to spill over.

"It hurts me to know that it was all a game to you. It hurts me to know that I fucking fell for it." A sob ripped through my throat, finally releasing itself from the confines of my chest.

"I fell for you, Nathan. I fell for you so hard and you promised me, you promised me that you would never hurt me. And you did," I whispered as the tears dropped from my eyes and Nathan watched in sadness as they rolled down my cheeks pathetically.

"I trusted you even when I told myself I shouldn't because you made me feel special. When you told me everything was going to be okay, I believed it. When you told me you would always be there for me I stupidly believed it. And you know what? I deserve every bit of shit that comes my way after this for being so naive' to actually think that you cared; for believing anything that has come out of your mouth from day one!"

"I do care! Don't say that I don't care, Alex. I fucking love you!"

"Don't lie to me, dammit!" I yelled out through my tears as I pushed my hands roughly up against his firm chest, pushing over and over again until I was beating at his chest, pounding away as hard as I could, putting every overwhelmingly agonizing emotion into every punch.

"You lied to me!" I cried as his hands gripped onto my wrist firmly, trying to stilt my punches. I still tried, thrashing around in his hold as he cradled my body into his as tenderly as he could, wrapping his arms around me, pressing my hands against his chest.

"It hurts so fucking badly....it hurts so much," I gasped in a desperate cry, pushing my head into his neck, drenching his skin with my tears.

"I'm so sorry." I heard him say into my ear, his voice catching and breaking towards the end.

"I hate you," I mumbled to him through my cries.

"I love you," he whispered into my ear. Cool drops of liquid fell onto my shoulders and rolled down my back.

He was crying.

"I love you so much. Alex, please, please don't do this. I love you so much it hurts."

His words only brought on another bought of tears from me as the memory of our first time together just days ago came flooding back. Those were the words I said to him as he made love to me for the first time.

"I can't do this." My voice was barely audible but as Nathans grip on me tightened, I knew he heard it.

"No."

"Nathan, please," I begged as the tears ran down my face relentlessly as I memorized his hold on me and how it felt to be in his arms this one last time.

"No, Alex, No! Please... don't do this to us. I love you, minx," he whispered softly, his lips brushing past my ear.

Minx.

The use of my nickname brought on an entirely different and unbearable bout of pain slashing through my heart and I had to bite my lip to keep another sob from tearing through my trembling lips.

"I don't believe you."

A soft, heart-wrenching cry came from Nathan that absolutely tore me in two.

I felt his hands run up the length of my back as he pulled his head back so that our faces were directly in front of each other's.

More tears escaped my eyes as I took in his wet face, his eyebrows creased in sadness as his normally deep blue eyes shone brighter than normal, mixed with so much grief and anguish.

"Alex..."

"Please go." My voice trailed off, wavering with each word.

Slowly, unwillingly I felt the comforting warmth of his hands leave my back. My heart formed a significant crack with each step that he took towards the door.

Nathan reached our front door but turned on his heel before taking those final steps out and faced me.

"I know you don't believe me now Alex but I love you more than any other single person has loved another human being. I swear it. I would die for you without a second thought. And I promise you right here and right now that I will prove it to you. I don't know how but I have to...I can't live without you in my life, minx." He finished off his speech, his eyes full of determination that I desperately wanted to believe in. But as time had proven, no one can be trusted but yourself.

"Don't make promises when we know you can't keep them."

If possible, I actually witnessed his crushing heartbreak deepen through his stare which was intently set on mine.

With one last, miserably painful look, Nathan turned and grabbed my front door handle, opening the door into the night.

And just before he left, an ironic thought occurred and I felt compelled to speak the words inside of my head.

"I guess Emily got her wish."

Nathan's head whipped back around to face mine in confusion.

"She said she hoped that you would break my heart. She wanted you to break me as badly as I broke her family. She got her wish and then some," I mused depressingly as his face contorted into a thousand different sorrowful emotions.

"You broke me, Nathan. She wins and we lose."

As I spoke the last word a singular tear slipped down my cheek and I knew that I was close to losing it again.

I walked up to the door and grabbed onto the wood, my broken stare set on Nathans welling eyes.

"Goodbye, Mr. McCoy."

And then the door closed shut with a resolute and devastating bang.

There you go everyone! I know its a little late but I had a bunch going on and I wasn't looking forward to writing this scene at all.

Who else cried?? Because I know I totally did while writing it :'( Let me know what you guys think and what you think is in store for Alex and Nathan next!

Please vote/comment if you loved/hated it and want more! Love you all! :)