Author: I'm a bit of a mess right now. I started the day in such high spirits then hit such a low. I have been sad for a while but thought I was doing better today. It was an illusion of change, I guess.

Here I am crying while singing along to "Scattered Black and Whites" by Elbow because I'm homesick for the family I've lost.

I think the holidays are getting to me. Who would think that such a happy time of year would become such a sad time of year. It feels like a time of mourning what was. But I am also glad that I have something to mourn. It means I had something worth missing.

Let us sing and remember. Let us never forget we have loved and been loved beautifully.

https://youtu.be/3xbUdIlcMGg

"The Stops"- Elbow Lyrics:

I can't undo the day

It won't go, won't go under the rug

I pull out the stops

And you, you pull the plug

These are sober days and I know it can't be

But I'll miss you the way you miss the sea

Just (Don't look down) Keep staring like you've never seen the stars

(Don't look down) If you need me to remind you who you are

(Don't look down) Little blossom there's the shiniest soul

(Oh) Just behind those eyes

No longer my affair

Well I can't go there just yet

So I've come to love and trust those friends

That are holding your net

Falling off used to mean

Maybe grazing a knee

And I'll miss you the way you miss the sea

Just (don't look down) Keep staring like you've never seen the stars

(Don't look down) If you need me to remind you who you are

(Don't look down) Little blossom there's the shiniest soul

(Oh) Just behind those eyes

While I won't second guess

What you're thinking of me

I will miss you the way you miss the sea

Just (don't look down) Keep staring like you've never seen the stars

(Don't look down) If you need me to remind you who you are

(Don't look down) Little blossom there's the shiniest soul

(Oh) Just behind those eyes

https://genius.com/Elbow-the-stops-lyrics