A/N: To be honest to you, before I worked on Shimayu fanfics, I never wrote anything fluffy or humorous. I am actually more of a tragic and drama writer. So this is a piece less fluffy and more pulling on the heart strings.

Prompt: Shimayu Song-fic

Disclaimer: I still don't own the characters. They belong to the great mangaka Sukeno Yoshiaki! The song I used, belongs to Nickelback.

The Silver Lining

The room was a sheet of gray colors, only illuminated by the low light of the moon, breaking through the slits of the drapes. The sound of the wind, brushing against branches and leaves in rushed strokes, reached his ears. He wondered, what time it was. Probably it was very early in the morning.

His back started to hurt from sitting on the floor. But he couldn't return back to bed.

When he had woken up, he had escaped the warm bed, as shame replaced the realization pounding done on him. Choosing the biting coldness of the hard floor over the soft heaven of the bed, he pondered on what he had done.

With a silent moan of pain leaving him, Shimon shifted to get more comfort, crossing one leg on the ground and bending the knee of the other, to lean his head on.

How did he end up in this mess anyway?

She had called him.

Had searched him out.

But they hadn't been a couple.

Not anymore.

She had left him.

You call to me, and I fall at your feet
How could anyone ask for more?
And our time apart, like knives in my heart
How could anyone ask for more?

She had left him months ago.

She had left him in need and desperate love.

It had taken him by surprise. The day Mayura walked away had taken the air from under his wings. It happened all of a sudden and totally unexpected. At least to him.

The day she had left him, would still rewind in his head from time to time, even after weeks – months – had passed.

How often had he stared at a wall and wondered, what he had done that day, the days before to drive her away.

He hadn't known, when or where their relationship had reached its final destination.

Suddenly it had been there, an ultimate truth to swallow. No one had given him the damn notice beforehand. And that had left him filled with so much anger at himself, at her, at bloody everything.

He didn't know, at which point they reached had reached the end line, where they couldn't go on. At which spot on their path had he let her down?

She hadn't told him. She simply walked away. Just like this.

Had packed her things from the drawers on his cupboard, things she had stored there since they practically had spend every night together, and abandoned the life they built together with not much of an explanation.

She had hurt him bad. Burned him down to the small ends that were barely holding him together.

Since that day, he had done nothing else than trying to forget her. Telling himself, she was cruel and heartless. Which he knew, she wasn't. Mayura was a pure and kind soul without a malicious thought. She had been an angel that had stumbled into his life years ago. Before he had known what was happening, he had given his heart to her and she had tended it with her gentle and amiable self.

Regardless, he had tried fiercely to concentrate on these thoughts, to prevent himself from breaking apart. Most of the times he failed miserably though.

But if there's a pill to help me forget,
God knows I haven't found it yet
But I'm dying to, God I'm trying to

Now as Shimon sat there on the ground thinking about all the stuff that happened between them, he was filed up with rage yet again.

Why hadn't she told him the reason back then? Why had she had to leave him in doubt and self-loathing?

With a huff of breath, he stared on the shadows crossing the room.

One time he had confronted her. A month had passed since she'd left him. A month that had felt like a year.

Back then she had fed him with a stupid excuse. Had told him, she couldn't live like this anymore. Had explained to him, she couldn't bear the strain of saying goodbye every time one of them went on a mission.

It was true, the life as exorcist was hard on them. There were so many occasion you could die. Every goodbye could be the last. Ever whisper of love might be on the last breath.

But that hadn't kept them from falling in love.

That hadn't kept them from getting together.

And it hadn't stopped them to plan on their future together, despite of what might happen.

In the very moment Mayura had thrown this silly explanation at him, he had known it was a bluff. But she had refused to tell him the truth, even refused to talk to him at all afterwards.

He had known, it hadn't been the reason she left him. And it had been consuming his every thought.

Would he had reacted differently, if he had known the truth, as he did now?

Probably. Probably he would have tried fighting for her, fighting for them.

Instead he had wanted to hate her. He had wished not to love her anymore.

Trying had only left him with more love. More need.

'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far
Trying not to need you, is tearing me apart
Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor
And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for
'Cause trying not to love you
Only makes me love you more
Only makes me love you more

He had been twisted with pain, with jealousy and with yearning all these months after their break-up.

They had been engaged for a few months, when she chose to walk away. He hadn't seen it coming.

The irony was almost ridiculous funny. Back then he had wanted nothing more to call her his wife soon. He had been excited to marry her, looking forward to it like a silly child looking forward to its birthday. Like a fool he had been in love with the idea of starting a family with her in no time.

Tears rushed to his eyes, as he now thought again about it. Someday they might have had beautiful children, looking like tiny versions of her with a tint of fuchsia in their hair. She should have given them a chance.

Swallowing down the new rush of pain, he chuckled bitterly at his situation. Even months after breaking up, she would sink into his core and twist on his heart just like this. Just by him thinking about it. Thinking about the child that was never born.

When everyone around him had tried to cheer him up, he believed maybe time would heal him. That's what they all said, as Rokuro was getting on his nerves all the time and his family tried to divert his attention to somewhere else.

At times Shimon had wondered, if he was this obvious. He had tried to deny the wound in his chest was still bleeding. He had refused to show it. But that didn't stop everyone from being too damn nicely. Sayo had still been cheering for him and Mayura. Had told him, he just needed to give her time. Keiji, on the other hand, had been trying to distract him with stories becoming more and more like their father. Even the Heavenly Commanders had been sensible about it, helping out on missions Shimon and Mayura would have usually carried out together.

Ridiculously, he had been thankful for the one person treating him like before. Never would he have believed, he would once be grateful for Tenma's teasing. Although it had seemed to Shimon that it was Tenma's own odd form of sympathy.

But all these attempts on distracting him had been futile, as almost every thought rolling through his head was centered on her.

Never before had he noticed, how much he needed her.

He had known he loved her dearly. But this. This was insane. His heart and body ached for her.

Composure. He had once felt proud of him being level-headed and self-controlled. It had been thrown out of the window the moment, she had left him.

And it had been so damn hard to forget her, when he had been forced to see her so often.

Seeing her at every family member meeting.

Seeing her on meetings of the Heavenly Commanders.

Seeing her yesterday, as she stood on the threshold of the Ikaruga estate.

Drenched in rain.

Looking devastated.

And this kind of pain, only time takes away
That's why it's harder to let you go
And nothing I can do, without thinking of you
That's why it's harder to let you go

Oh, how he had tried to forget her.

He had tried so hard. Throwing himself at every mission, he got. Training all day, until his muscles clenched with pain and constricted in exhaustion. Taking a toll on his body until his legs gave out and sleep would finally welcome him.

Unfortunately, it didn't help to forget. It only raised the worry of his family. Giving them more reasons to get onto his nerves.

Sometimes he had wondered, if he should have been thankful of the time she had spend with him?

Had wondered, if the time they had spend together, was enough.

Weren't years of happiness enough to fill a whole lifetime?

Why wasn't it enough?

Why was it, that he couldn't cherish the memories anymore?

Why was it, that their colors were too bright now?

Why was the remembrance of the sound of her laughter piercing his heart like a knife?

How could it be, that the image of her beautiful, blue eyes haunted and hurt him, when it had been his salvation so often before?

But if there's a pill to help me forget,
God knows I haven't found it yet
But I'm dying to, God I'm trying to

And to be honest, he had felt like getting insane day by day without her. Once he had imagined her scent lingering on the linen. Cozy and sleepy, he had leaned in, letting the scent soothe him.

His heart had clenched in despair, the moment he'd remembered the truth. The truth that she hadn't lain beside him for months. That it was impossible for her scent to be still there after the cloth had been washed a few times.

Another time he had been even mad enough to imagine her welcoming him home. When he opened the door to his room, he had pictured Mayura waiting for him, sitting on his bed and dressed in only one of his shirts. Wearing that small, bewitching smirk of her's and a gaze filled with love.

He had blamed this illusion on the sake he had been drinking before. But in the back of his mind he had known the reason for this damn fantasy. He just missed her.

The more he had tried not to think about her, the more she was coming back to his mind.

It's trying not to love you, only goes so far
Trying not to need you, is tearing me apart
Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor
And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for
'Cause trying not to love you
Only makes me love you more

With a sigh leaving him, Shimon leaned his head back onto the edge of the bed.

How could he ever let go of it? How would he deal with what had happened between them just a few hours ago?

Until yesterday the question of why had tormented his mind. He had wondered and wondered for months, why she had left him. Recalling each and every of moments with her, he searched for the reason. Analyzed every conversation, tried to review each of her smiles from a different angle. Yet. he never reached a sufficing conclusion.

Never would he have guessed the right reason.

At one point he had believed, it had been something he had done. At another he'd thought she had suddenly felt her crush on Rokuro revived. Which was silly because she had told him once, she had never before experienced this kind of love, admitting that her feelings for Rokuro had been a crush, she had blown up on her own. Still he had thought about this possibility.

Following the lines of the beams on the ceiling with his eyes, he felt conflicted. Even knowing the reason made him wonder, why she hadn't told him. Why hadn't she found the courage in her to tell him. Had he possibly done something, that made her believe, she couldn't speak to him about it?

"Why?"

He was surprised by the voice, cutting to the grave silence, that hung in the room, for a second. He was surprised by the darkness distorting the sound of his own voice.

So I sit here divided, just talking to myself
Was it something that I did?
Was there somebody else?

Suddenly he heard the sound of shifting blankets behind him. Taking in a deep breath, Shimon prepared himself for the upcoming stroll on his heart.

However, the sound of her fighting back on tears came to him like a direct punch in the heart.

Clenching his fists, Shimon felt angry at himself. He had only himself to blame, even if he hadn't wanted for them to do this.

He hadn't planned for this.

She had called. They had talked. He didn't want this to happen.

He had invited her in. No ill thought had been on his mind, as he had led her to the privacy of his room.

He felt like scum now anyway.

But there had been so much between them. Anger, hurt, devastation, need. He had seen it all reflected in her clear blue eyes. It had killed him on the inside. And so he'd pulled her to him. Had crushed her in a tight embrace, as she had let her tears flow.

And then finally, totally whelmed up in tears, Mayura had told him, the reason she'd left all these months ago.

The shock about what had happened clutched his heart in a lethal grasp.

They had lost what was created between them.

He hadn't known. He hadn't known, she was carrying his child. But she hadn't either until a week before, she'd told him.

In a broken voice, filled with tears, she had confessed to him, that she had wanted to tell him. That she had looked forward to tell him. But then, after loosing, what would have been their child, she couldn't. And it had eaten her up from inside.

She had blurred it all out, choking on the tears streaming down her face, as she'd clung to him in desperation and hurt.

On instinct he had wiped the tears away and kissed the salty trails they left, leading down her cheeks. And on their own their lips met in a searing kiss, mixed with both their tears.

It had been to easy to fall back into the feeling of loving her.

The echo of their once shared intimacy called upon them, mixed with regret and desperation, as they'd made love in a rush of need.

It hadn't felt the same. It hadn't been the same as before, like when they had been blissfully in love with nothing to worry about.

When a voice from behind me, that was fighting back tears
Sat right down beside me, and whispered right in my ear
Tonight I'm dying to tell you

What had he done?

He felt sorry.

He was sorry for, what they had done. But he couldn't rewind time. Couldn't stop them now from doing that mistake. Couldn't stop them from making their relationship or not-relationship so much more complicated.

He heard her shift, as he still stared at the ceiling, swallowing down a clump of tears constricting his throat.

Suddenly her voice came to him from his side, weighted with tears and emotions. "I need to tell you..." The sound of a whimper interrupted her. She was obviously struggling with the words, she needed to say, as he patiently waited, not moving a muscle. "It was tearing me apart. Staying away from you. Trying not to need you."

A gasp left his lungs. Was she telling him, she needed him?

With blurred eyes, Shimon turned around, scared and hopeful about, what he would see. Did she want him back?

There she sat. Kneeling on the bed, caught in the low light of the moon and smiling all so beautifully at him. Tears were running down her cheeks, which were tainted with a blush. Her hair was a mess, her eyes were blood rimed because of all the times, she'd cried so far. Her lips were puffed and red from the endless kisses they had shared yesterday night, as neither one of them wanted to let go.

She never had looked more beautiful to him than right now.

He wondered, if this was a trick of his imagination again. If the picture in front of him was nothing more than the projection of his deepest desire. If this could possible be a cruel joke of his fantasy.

In wonder he moved his legs and sat down on his knees in front of the bed. He mustered her from his position on the floor. His mouth felt dry, as he drew in deep breaths with an open mouth, concentrating on her heavenly appearance.

She was looking at him in a mix of hope and fear.

Sucking in another deep breath, he tried to search for words.

Slowly her face twisted. The hope in her eyes vanished.

That wasn't right. It shouldn't be like this.

He should say something.

Instead he stared at her. Stupefied and speechless in face of the miracle, that lay in front of him.

Mayura began to back away. Leaning backwards and gazing at the sheets covering her knees. She raised an arm to cover the rest of her body, as if he had no right to see it anymore.

Swallowing the lump of fear, he climbed over the edge of the bed. Crawling on his arms and legs, he carefully approached her.

He sat on his knees opposite her.

Slowly he shifted closer on the mattress. Afraid to scare off the angel, sitting on his bed.

She did not move.

With more courage he reached a hand out for her's, that was gripping onto the blanket at the moment.

Her gaze shot up to his. Her eyes swam with tears.

Encouraged by the softness of her gaze, Shimon raised his other hand to her cheek, pushing away a lock of her blond-green hair that was sticking to her cheek.

Taking in a deep breath, he gathered the courage to tell her, "I -" He swallowed down his anxiety. There was nothing to fear anymore, was there? "Mayura, I love you. I couldn't stop even if I tried."

With a choke of breath, she threw herself at him all of a sudden.

His heart jumped at the sheer joy that consumed him. He pulled her closer to him, wrapping her up in his arms, while gently caressing her soft hair with his fingers. Her scent, lavender mixed with an hint of vanilla, made his heart flutter in pure happiness. His lips lifted to an almost goofy smile, as he bathed in the delight of having her in his life again.

They shared the warm embrace till the first rays of sunlight broke through the drapes in front of the window, comforting each other.

They would grow stronger together.

They would face the consequences of the past together.

They would mourn for their unborn child together.

They would build a future together.

With a new destiny ahead and his again-soon-to-be wife in his arms, he couldn't think about anything, they couldn't overcome.

Filled with love, he turned his head to seal her lips with his.

He planned to make love to her again. But this time slowly. Savoring each second together from now on for the rest of their lives.

That trying not to love you, only went so far
Trying not to need you, was tearing me apart
Now I see the silver lining, of what we're fighting for
And if we just keep on trying, we could be much more
'Cause trying not to love you
Oh, yeah, trying not to love you
Only makes me love you more
Only makes me love you more

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A/N: *caugh* Well, what can I say? I've warned you, didn't I? ... Okay, wait! I'm sorry. Where are you going? Please, don't unfollow me! XD

This was the first song-fic, I ever published. I think, it's always good for inspiration to listen to a song to bring yourself in a specific mood. :P Tell me what you think. And don't forget to vote, if you liked it.^^