13. Azkaban ~ Part 2
DRACO
Vernon stepped aside, leaving him in full view. I try not to look at him as I count my steps forward, every step seemed like I was only willingly walking into a nightmare. The door was immediately shut behind me the second I found my way in. The room was spacious enough with white walls and tiles. A brightly lit fluorescent light, which blinded me to look at, filled the whole room and everything was clear as day. This was a massive contrast compared to the rest of the dark building. Despite it being decently sized, I still felt like I was confined. Him being here didn't make my sudden claustrophobia any better.
I now look at him.
And I felt nothing.
He seems to have aged a lot more since I last saw him. Maybe it had something to do with obvious lack of care for his appearance, which was fully evident. His hair was different now compared to how it was in the picture I saw of him in the book, it wasn't long anymore. It looked like any other short male hairstyle except his was unwashed and damaged, like it could fall out if it was combed. His face was a different story. Sallow face. Unshaved. Pale, sickly skin. Heavy dark bags under his empty gray eyes.
And he was smiling at me.
I wanted to lunge forward and hurt him, but I knew I couldn't do that.
I became aware of how long I was standing in the same spot staring at him. For the first time since I set foot in this horrid place I was frozen, speechless. My Father locked the eye contact with me too and his smile only grew wider. Something about it seemed devilish but the emptiness in his eyes told me a different story, they looked...sad. No, I couldn't allow myself to feel one bit sorry for him. I haven't forgotten who he was or what he has done. He is a monster.
"My....Son." My Fathers brittle voice filled the quiet room as he slowly arose from his seat, his mouth practically dropped open as he done so. I noticed that his hands were confined together in metal chains. The two guards present in the room rushed to my Father's side in seconds and forced him to sit back down; my Father willingly sits down, however he didn't look too happy about it. He looks at me again with an unreadable expression on his face before he says, "My Son. You've come back to me."
Something inside of me snapped.
I force myself to move forward until I reached I reach the end of the table where I was looking down to my Father, he stares up at me in awe and he smiles again. I clenched my fists by my sides as an overwhelming sense of rage rushed through me. Why was he smiling at me like that? He has no right!
"Mr Malfoy we want no trouble here." One of the Guards spoke in a firm voice. "We ask of you to sit down, please." He was tense, and ready for action.
"My Son." My Father says again in an almost loving voice. "Am I imagining this? Oh dear oh dear...I have waited for this day. My Son has come back to me....He has come back...he has come back..." He trails off and begins muttering endlessly to himself.
I unclenched my fists.
I kept my gaze with my Father's whom had a dream-like expression on his face now. He isn't fully together, mentally. I realized that now. The way he spoke. The way he looked. The way he carried himself. The way he smiled at me like he never smiled before...he was not how I remembered him anymore. My heart violently thrums against my ribcage as I hesitantly sat down in the seat in front of my Father. The Guards seemed to relax a little as they came to the conclusion that I wasn't going to start any riots yet. I pressed my sweaty palms into my lap and I stare down at them, I couldn't bear to look at him anymore.
"Draco, my son," He says, capturing my attention. The way he spoke my name was like venom at the tip of a tongue, but I couldn't help but feel there was a sense of vulnerability added to it. "You have come... to see me?" His eyes almost lit up.
"Well done for stating the obvious." I snapped instantly, and I felt angry again. I didn't want him to think that I came here for a bonding session. "And stop calling me your son. I am not your son."
He widens his eyes and placed his cuffed hands over his chest like he had just been wounded. They shook a little as he spoke, "But Draco, I am in your blood...you are-"
"I am not your Son. I will not repeat myself to you." I caught myself by surprise over how stern I sounded; I never spoke to my Father like this, ever. If I did I would have instantly regretted it, during my childhood I have experienced my fair share of punishments from him. The memory made me shudder. "You are nothing to me but a cold hearted bastard. How does that make you feel?"
He didn't show any immediate reaction; instead he blinked a couple of times and seemed almost confused. "Harsh words. After everything I have done for you."
"Everything you have done for me? Did I hear that right?" I reacted angrily. I pressed my finger nails into my lap which hurt slightly, but I didn't care about the pain. "You have put me through hell. You will never have any idea what I had to put up with since the war at Hogwarts, I am utterly ashamed that I never saw you for what you truly were long ago. What sort of pathetic excuse for a man forces his own Son to do his own dirty work? Actually don't answer that, I don't want to hear it. I just want you to know that I hate everything about you. You are scum to this earth and poison to everyone's lives you enter. I'm so glad that you are clearly suffering in here. You look like shit." I said that last part with a small smile. He didn't even blink. "I wanted you dead for a very long time, told myself you deserved everything that came to you. But now that I'm actually here and I can see that you have lost your mind, I believe that you deserve nothing more than a long and horrible existence in this place. You don't deserve an easy way out, like death. It's clear to me that this is better, I want you to suffer."
He still showed no sign of reaction, instead he looked almost...bored. His eyes wander away to the wall behind me and suddenly a wide smile appears on his haggard face. "Is your Mother here? Oh how I miss my beautiful Narcissa's radiant face."
"Have you even listened to a word I just said?" Is he trying to make me look like an idiot? "I told you that I hate you and you show no remorse?"
"I heard every word, my boy," He replies, still staring blankly ahead. "Has your Mother received my letters? I never got a reply."
I squeezed my eyes shut and inhaled deeply in a bid to calm myself down. "Yes she got your letters, but she never replied because she hates you just as much as I do. She burned the letters in front of me and told me in her own words that you are nothing but a bad memory to her. I could say the same for me. How does it feel to have your family turn against you?"
He looks at me again with wide eyes. "I very much doubt that. My Wife loves me dearly and you as my Son should hold some respect. Whether you like it or not I brought you up to be the man you are today, so you should be thanking me. I gave you everything."
It was almost laughable how much he actually believed what he was saying.
"Yes actually, you are right in saying that you brought me up to be the person I am today."
My Father smiles proudly.
"Because if it wasn't for you and all the shit you put me through, I would still be the same vain Draco Malfoy that intimidated everybody in his school. I would be a coward like you. I wouldn't be as brave as I am today for visiting you, and I certainly wouldn't bring shame to our family's name like you have. So in that way I want to say thank you for raising me to be not like you, that is by far the greatest thing you have ever done for me."
He stopped smiling as he lowered his head. Thick strands of his dirty hair fell forward. "What do you want me to say, my boy?"
"Nothing." I replied flatly. "Nothing at all. Unless of course you want to give me an apology, then by all means. But I would never forgive you; it wouldn't matter if I did. Because after I walk out that door it will be the last time you will ever see me."
My Father raised his head and suddenly his eyes grew darker. "You are not a fool Son, do don't act like one. You were a Death Eater, just as much as I was."
"No I was not. I never was, I didn't want to be."
"You were, whether you like that or not."
"No...stop it."
"Nothing to be ashamed about my Son, you done what was right and-"
"NO I DID NOT YOU VILE MAN." I shouted loudly which caught my Father and the Guards by surprise. I felt their eyes fix on me. "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK HEAD THAT I ONLY DONE WHAT I THOUGHT WAS RIGHT BECAUSE I WANTED TO MAKE YOU PROUD? YOU WERE MY FATHER; I WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING... OH MY GOD I AM SO ASHMED."
Regretfully my voice started to sound very brittle. I cleared my throat. There was no way I was going to allow myself to break down in front of this man.
My Father appeared gobsmacked. "You don't know what you are saying..."
"Oh I am very aware of what I am saying, Lucius." I snapped. "I mean every word of it. You are no Father of mine and I don't care if you try and convince yourself otherwise. I have moved on with my life, I am finally happy for once. You probably won't consider me your Son if I told you what I have been up to for the past year." I sniggered as I smirked at my Father.
My Father smiles at me again like he was in dream land, like nothing of what I had just said to him had been registered. "You will always be my Son....no matter what you say....I am in your veins....family...my boy and my beautiful Narcissa....we will be together again one say. I believe it....my empty heart will be full of love again one day....I believe it....together again..." Yet again he launched into another one of his nonsense rants to himself, and I didn't feel one bit sorry for him. He is the only one responsible for the mess he has himself in.
"You'll never guess who I have fallen in love with. None other than Hermione Granger. Remember her?"
My Father stops talking to himself and stares at me. A tense silence hung in the air and even the guards seemed uncomfortable. The best part of it was I never even flinched or felt an ounce of regret for saying it; I enjoyed seeing the look as shock and disbelief in Lucius's face. Suddenly he starts to laugh, loudly and hysterically.
"What the.... What the bloody hell is wrong with you? You mental fool!" I spoke loudly. "What is so funny?"
"Oh Draco, Draco , Draco..." Lucius was almost red-eyed from all the laughing. He paused and took a deep breath before he spoke again. "That was a great joke my boy. I haven't been able to laugh in such a long time in this place of misery...it warms my heart. Please do tell me more."
"I am telling the truth!" I protested with clenched fists. "I have been seeing her for about a year and we are in love."
Lucius didn't laugh again; in fact his flat expression told me that he heard the truth in my words. "What is this monstrosity you speak of my Son?"
"First off, stop calling me your Son. Are you gone bloody deaf as well as stupid?" I spat. "Secondly, I am telling the truth. I am seeing Hermione Granger and we are in love. Just thought you should know." I smirked wildly as I sat back in my seat.
He laughed again.
And he wouldn't stop this time.
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" I shouted full of rage. "YOU HATEFUL, FOOLISH-"
"Mr Malfoy I'll have to ask you to lower your voice." The Guard said sternly.
I didn't acknowledge the guard; I kept my focus on Lucius who was cackling rather horribly while he was throwing his head back.
"Are you finished yet?" I asked impatiently, mentally trying to calm myself down.
"Yes." Lucius said with a nod. "I do not know how much of what you said is true; however I must say I am very impressed. Using Granger to get back at her and torment Potter and his idiot friends is a smart move. I'm sure you take much joy in tricking her into falling in love with you-"
"How dare you say such things!" I snapped through gritted teeth. "I am not using Hermione for any sick pleasure like you would, nor have I ever done anything like that. I am in love with her. It all started when we went back to Hogwarts last year and we ended up being Head Boy and Girl together, we shared a common room together and things developed. Whether you believe it or not is your choice, but I just want you to know that I am happy in life and I am moving forward. I have found someone who loves me for me. I can be myself around her without having to worry about-"
"What is this you speak of?" Lucius gasped in horror. "There is no way someone in our family could ever fall in love with such a filthy Mudblood-"
"Don't use that word you bastard." I smashed my fist against the table without even being aware of it. "The only filth here is you. Hermione's blood status means nothing to me; it's all pointless because I am in love with her regardless of who she is. She doesn't give a shit about who I am either because I know she loves me too. It's a real pity that there are still cold hearted snakes in today's world, like you, who can't see past other people's blood."
"What a touching story." Lucius brought his two confined hands up and scratched his chin. "So tell me, when does this plan of action take place?"
"There is no plan of action." I said tiredly. "I told you already. We're together. And I don't care what you think."
"I don't believe you." He said almost hesitantly.
"I thought you wouldn't." I gave him a fake smile. With that, I pulled out a handful of photographs from my jacket pocket I brought with me in case the situation turned to this. They were all pictures with me and Hermione in them. One of them was from Potter and Ginny Weasley's wedding where Hermione and I stood hand in hand smiling for the camera. Another picture was one taken at the end of the school year of us as Head Boy and Girl. One of my favourites was the picture of Hermione kissing me on the cheek during a date we had a few weeks ago. The final photo was a group one of me, Hermione and my Mother.
I placed the photos beside one another on the table in front of Lucius and his eyes frantically scan over each of them. There was another tense silence in the room. Lucius looks at me, then back to the photographs, then at me again. This time he kept the eye contact and I could see the raging storm in his eyes. And I smirked at him.
Suddenly he winces and brings his hands over his chest and cries out. I frowned in confusion as the guards rushed over to him and asked what was wrong. "Leave me!" Lucius snaps. "I am fine."
"It's hard to digest, huh?" I said with no remorse.
"I have been ill for a while." He replied as he straightened in his seat.
"Of course you have."
"Yes, it is very hard in here." He said. He obviously didn't understand I was being sarcastic.
I gathered up the pictures as I told him, "Have you got anything to say?"
"Nothing." He says. "I have nothing to say."
"Nothing?" I raised my eyebrows. "That seems very unlike you. You always have something to say about everything."
Lucius shrugged and he began to stare blankly ahead again. "Why do I care if you are having a fling with such filth my boy? Just as long as you give her what she deserves soon, do whatever the hell you want."
I laughed a humourless laugh. "Why are you trying so hard to convince yourself that I'm not with her? You are really, really pathetic. The guards were right, this place really has drove you insane. I can't believe that I almost felt sorry for you when I walked in here."
He didn't seem one bit fazed. "So what you are saying...is true?"
"Every bit of it." I confirmed. "You don't even know the exciting parts yet."
Lucius didn't say anything.
"Of course I will tell you, thank you for asking." I said in a mocking manner. "So a few days ago I asked her to marry me. And guess what? She said yes, without hesitation. It was the happiest I ever felt in a very long time. Hopefully we will be married by this time next year."
"Why are you doing this Draco?" He says as though he were in pain. "Why are you trying to hurt me?"
"I'm not trying to do anything; I am merely telling you the truth." I replied.
"Well I can understand why you decide this, marrying to restore the family name. Although there are so much better choices out there. Women who are not mudbloods-"
"Shut up! Just shut up you foolish man!" I wanted to kill him in that moment. I sprung up from my seat and looked down on him. "I told you I don't want to hear that word you scumbag. I am marrying Hermione because I love her, and I want to start a new life with her. Everyone is happy for us, including my Mother and Potter. Yes you heard that right. Potter and I are civil with each other now, in fact I think we could be close to becoming friends. And I am happy enough to let the past go."
"You can't seriously be telling me that you are willing to degrade yourself by getting involved with such filth? Oh Son, I taught you better than that. You do realize that Granger could be using you, right? Someone like her would obviously want to get with someone like you for self-image. Once she gets what she wants from you she will be gone before you know it. Leave it all behind now while you have a chance. I urge you." Lucius stated, almost hopeful.
"She is not using me."
"And you are not in love with her, you silly little boy. If I wasn't confined to this chair right now I would be teaching you some discipline."
"I am warning you..."
"Why did you really come here, Draco? To goad me? Because I can assure you right now that I have not got anything else left to loose and my pride is already crushed. Please for our sake, remove yourself from the Mudblood situation." He looks away and starts to mutter nonsense things to himself again. "Gone...all gone...but my son is here...hope for me..."
"Say that word one more time and I'll..." I took a step backwards and breathed in deeply. It was pointless. Hopeless. I have already gotten one over on my Father, everything else is pointless. He was clearly insane and wasn't willing to take any of what I was telling him seriously. "I have come here because I wanted to tell you that I am moving on with my life, and you are no longer a concern to me. Same goes for my Mother, she hates you too. She is moving on. I am going to marry Hermione and we are going to have a happy life together. And if we happen to have any children in future, I would rather die than let them have them the childhood that I have had. I wanted to say goodbye to you, for good."
Lucius stayed silent for a fraction of a second. "But my Son..."
"Why am I your Son?" I asked him with urgency.
Lucius, understandably, looked confused. "I don't understand your meaning."
"It's a simple question." My heart rate increased and my mouth went dry. "What do I mean to you?"
Lucius paused and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them his grey eyes sliced through mine and he smiled. "Why Draco, you are my Son because it is your duty to carry the Malfoy name forward and reign on."
"Wrong answer." I said simply.
I don't know why I asked, but part of me wanted to see if Lucius Malfoy had any ounce of emotion in his cold heart. Any normal Father would tell their Son that they loved him and they care for him, I now realize more than ever that Lucius only ever looked at me as his progeny. Some thing that was supposed to do what he says whenever he wanted. I was nothing more than that to him, nor will I ever be. His response proved it.
I turned around to leave once and for all until Lucius's laughter circulated the room again. I turned around with a quizzical expression.
"You will regret it Draco. If you dare to leave this room and go back to that filthy, Potter loving, promiscuous Mudblood you will bring a disgrace upon this family."
After what seemed like decades of trying to hold it together, I saw red.
Without thinking about anything I raced forward and grabbed Lucius roughly by the collar of his shirt, with all my strength I punched him across the face which resulted in a sickening cracking sound coming from his nose. I probably broke it, I don't know. I punched him, again, to the floor and I kept punching. He cries out in pain as he tries to use his chain bound hands to defend himself but I was too strong for him. For once in my life I overpowered my Father and it was a glorious feeling. I never even noticed the set of hands trying to pull me away from my weak Father because I could focus on nothing else but the rage inside of me.
"Look at you! You are going to crack." Lucius shouted out. "You resort to violence because you are weak! You are we-"
"SHUT UP."
"I am telling the truth my dear boy. You will realize that one day, you are going to lose it. Ha-Ha."
I wasn't punching him all of a sudden.
The two guards slammed my body again the concrete wall and shouted angrily at me. However I couldn't absorb a word of what they were saying to me. My hands were covered in crimson blood as a sign as my violent outburst. I look at Lucius who was sprawled out on the floor, his face covered in blood. I felt like throwing up all of a sudden when Lucius started to sob. I won't be like this.
I pull forcefully away from the guards and I walked towards the door. I needed to walk away and not look back. I stood in front of the door, I didn't look at him as I spoke, "You were supposed to love me. To be an actual Father...not the way you were."
"T-That is...what I was supposed to...say."
"Well it's not good enough." I was aware he could have been trying to emotional blackmail me, there was a chance. Either way I didn't want to take his word for it. I turned around and looked at him straight in the eye. "Goodbye." I said, and this time I meant it.
One of the Guards un-lock the door for me and I am about to move out until...
"NO!" I felt a hand on my shoulder yank me back, I managed to break free. When I spun around I see my desperate Father being restrained by the guards. A look of utter desperation spread across his bloodied face. "You can't leave....my son...I won't let you....RELEASE ME GUARDS."
"We are warning you to calm down now or else-"
"I am sorry Draco. Is that what you wanted to hear?" Lucius shouts almost echoed through-out the whole building. "You can't leave me... I am going to die here-"
The guards used a spell on him which caused Lucius to fall to his knees and wince in pain. I wasn't sure what the spell was but it was obviously something they used to retrain prisoners. I could only step back and watch on in horror as Lucius's limbs violently twitched as he shouted my name over and over.
"Your visitation will have to end here, come with me Mr Malfoy." Vernon, the guard, said from behind me in a firm voice. "I am sorry."
I didn't respond, nor could I look away from my Father. His eyes bored into mine and his shouts rung through my ears. I wanted it all to end right now. I can't look at him. I can't be in this building. I needed to leave.
Without a second thought, I spun around and raced forward as fast as my legs could take me. Lucius Malfoy will be nothing but a distant memory to me soon. I will forget all about him.
"DRACO MY SON, COME BACK TO ME. I HAVE LOVED YOU ALL YOUR LIFE....COME BACK.....OH GOD THE PAIN....MY HEART...."
I didn't look back. I didn't think about it. The tears pooling up in my eyes blurred my vision
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